Best of the Pest

by SmilesPerHour


Wreck-oonicorns

It’s a peaceful day at Fluttershy’s animal sanctuary. Otters splash in the river, alligators bask in the afternoon sun, and branches gently rustle as you gingerly lift a bird’s nest from its perch.

“You’re sure your animal friends don’t mind our… inspection?” Caramel inquires as she examines the fibers of the nest.

“No, I explained the situation to them.” Fluttershy calls from a nearby tree. “They don’t mind as long as you don’t break their nests while you’re looking for this ‘Page of Fate’. And it does sound like an important sort of mission.”

“Yeah, really important.” Caramel says. “That’s why we want to check every possible place for these missing Pages. After all,” she adds in an undertone. “I’ve seen a lot of birds stealing string and paper and stuff to build their nests.”

“Yes, they told me that it adds a nice cushion for…” Fluttershy’s voice trails off, and her eyes seem to unfocus for a moment.

“Fluttershy? Are you okay?” Caramel calls out.

“I… I don’t know.” Fluttershy says, rubbing her eye with a hoof. “I’m feeling a bit dizzy, I thought I saw - oh!” Suddenly, Fluttershy’s entire body glows with a soft yellow light, and she tumbles out of the tree in surprise. In a flash, you and Caramel rush forward, barely catching Fluttershy before she hits the ground.

“What-what is this?” Fluttershy gasps, but even as you watch, you and Caramel begin to glow as well. All around you, the sanctuary shifts and morphs; trees become lampposts, the grass becomes a brick road, and the scent of sweet wildflowers gives way to a tangy salt spray. And as soon as it begins, the radiant glow vanishes, and you find yourselves standing on the edge of a bustling coastal city.
“What in the world?” Caramel whispers, glancing around in shock. And you find yourself wondering the same thing; this city is completely unfamiliar, but the presence of earth ponies in the distance suggests that you’re still in Equestria.

“Oh goodness, where are we?” Fluttershy says as she climbs to her hooves. “Do you think this has something to do with that ‘Page of Fate’ you were looking for?”

“Must be.” Caramel agrees. “But where did it take us? And why?” Just then, an apple core flies through the air and hits you squarely on the head. You turn to see a garbage can spewing its contents all over the street, and over the commotion, you hear a soft chattering noise.

“Goodness!” Fluttershy stands up and runs over to investigate the can. “Excuse me, could you please stop making a mess?” Immediately, the trash stops spewing forth, and a raccoon peeks its face out. At least, it looks like a raccoon, but with a unicorn’s horn on its brow.

The raccoonicorn glares at Fluttershy, chattering and shaking his paw in her face.

“Oh, I’m sorry to interrupt your… work,” Fluttershy apologizes. “But if you need food, I could help you find some nice berries or-!” The raccoonicorn chatters more insistently.

“You’re not hungry? You’re… protesting?” Fluttershy furrows her brow, as you and Caramel hang on every word. “Because Hitch won’t meet your demands?” She glances at you, but you can’t make any more sense of it than she can. “But who is ‘Hitch’?” The racconicorn snorts and points down the street, where a stallion is busy scooping litter into a can.

“Oh, well… thank you.” Fluttershy nods to you, and leads you and Caramel down the main street. It’s a curious town, with tall geometric buildings on one side, and an open ocean on the other. Is this what coastal cities in Equestria look like?

Caramel weaves past banana peels and old cups, and walks up to the litter-picking stallion.

“Um, excuse me? Are you ‘Hitch’?” The stallion turns and glances at you curiously.

“Oh, hi there!” He sighs. “Yeah, I’m Sheriff Hitch. Welcome to Maretime Bay!”

“Well, um…” Fluttershy shuffles her hooves nervously. “We heard that you were having trouble with these, um, raccoonicorns, and we were wondering if we could help.” Hitch’s face lights up immediately.

“Oh yeah, totally!” He cheers. “You must have seen my notice!” You, Caramel and Fluttershy exchange glances.

“Your… notice?” Caramel asks.

“Yeah, I hung it outside the police station. You can’t miss it.” Hitch explains, gesturing toward a nearby building.

Curiously, you walk over to the crudely drawn poster and read:

ANIMAL EXPERT WANTED!

Urgent need for ponies skilled in taming rowdy animals

To help deal with racconicorn infestation!

See Sherriff Hitch for details.

As you finish reading the message, you take a closer look at the paper, which seems to glow slightly. Suddenly, you realize that it’s the missing Page of Fate! Well, that explains how you got to Maretime Bay…

Immediately, you run back to Hitch and ask where he found the ‘paper’.

“Huh? Oh, I just found it on my desk.” Hitch says with a shrug. “I know it’s kind of dirty, but I was in a hurry.” You and Caramel glance at each other, and nod.

“Well, if we help you with the racconicorns,” Caramel suggests, “Can we keep the poster?”

“Uh… sure.” Hitch says, a little confused. “So, do you have any special animal-handling skills?”

“Well, I can talk to animals.” Fluttershy says. “I get along with them quite well, actually.”

“Yeah, and if that doesn’t work, you have your Stare.” adds Caramel. “She just glares at misbehaving animals, and they obey her.” Hitch looks at Fluttershy with a renewed interest.

“An animal-taming stare, huh? That sounds perfect! Do you think you could-?”

“No no, I’m sorry, but I don’t use the Stare except for emergencies.” Fluttershy cuts in. She turns to watch a group of raccoonicorns marching past, chanting in some sort of squeaky protest. “But um, maybe we could just try talking to the racconicorns? I’m sure we can find a compromise.”

“Nah, I tried that already.” Hitch sighs. When you look confused, he continues, “Oh, I can talk to animals too. But they won’t listen to me! I’ve told them time and time again that they can’t get what they want by throwing garbage all over the place.” Fluttershy frowns at the racconicorn mob.

“Well, I can understand that.” She says. “I’ve dealt with a lot of misbehaving animals, too. But sometimes you need to be the first to extend a friendly hoof.” She walks over to the racconicorns, and starts up a friendly conversation.

“Agh, no, that won’t get us anywhere!” Hitch groans and charges the racconicorns, who run for cover. “Please, just use your Stare to get rid of them!”

“No, I couldn’t!” Fluttershy protests. “If you’d just give them a chance-!”

“No way! They’ve turned our city into a dump! We need to teach them a lesson!” He chases the raccoonicorns down the street, with Fluttershy in close pursuit.

Caramel looks to you, devastated.

“What do we do now?”