Interlude: Celestia’s thoughts
“And just so you know, it is really great to have you two back again.” Celestia told her sister and her friend as she departed their room, closing the door behind her. She didn’t actually expect the two to go to sleep after she left, not after overhearing their conversation back in Ponyville. Twilight needed answers and Luna needed to give them. Princess Celestia walked slowly back to the main hall, there was still work to be done, but she walked absorbed in her thoughts. When she heard Twilight asking why she couldn’t have someone to love as she and the guards packed the carriage, she knew that Luna would have to explain everything to her. She had deliberately pretended not to have heard it, Luna would tell Twilight in her own way, she didn’t need her sister there to help, or more likely, confuse things further.
Back before Luna’s imprisonment, Luna used to be much like Celestia. She would sit regally in her throne and perform her duties both professionally and elegantly. Over the years though, she seemed to have lost a lot of her maturity, acting more like a young adult than a semi-immortal princess. Celestia didn’t mind though, she could always tell she wasn’t the sort of pony to love working by the way her sister acted when she wasn’t around others, when it was just the two of them. Luna would always talk of fanciful things, of enjoying herself and having fun instead of working all night. As much as Celestia would have liked to have somepony that would share her workload with the same conviction as her, she knew that this was Luna’s nature, and nothing could change that, nor would she want to.
Celestia thought back several years prior, a blink of an eye to someone as old as her, yet those years were some of her favourites. Ever since she had seen the glow of magic burst through the windows at her testing centre, she knew that the unicorn responsible would be her protégée. She had spent the majority of Twilight’s life teaching her as best as she could, but she knew that a pony of Twilight’s power would always want more to learn, something that Celestia couldn’t give her. She held no regrets about giving her student over to her sister to continue her studies, there was truth in her words when she told the purple mare that she had graduated of sorts. If she had continued under Celestia tuition, she would never be sated, and Celestia had run out of things to teach her.
She had tried to trick herself that she could continue to teach Twilight by sending her to learn about friendship, but she was grasping at straws at what else Twilight could try and learn. After Twilight rescued Luna from her own mind though, she knew that there was nothing more to do, she would have to let Twilight go. She always tried to do what was best for Twilight, even going as far as to send her own sister away to Ponyville so Twilight could continue to live in proximity to her friends. That day broke her heart, but she knew it had to be done, like so many things in her life.
She cast her mind back to over a millennium ago. She remembered the dashing white stallion that stood so proud in court one day. She remembered how he kept glancing over to her, not with the fear/admiration that other ponies displayed when gazing upon her, he looked at her with something approaching longing. And she stared right back. But she couldn’t. She had promised herself all those years ago, when she and her sister had just started ruling, that she would do all in her power to protect her kingdom for as long as she could. This meant she had to keep her immortality, even if it meant distancing herself from everypony in a way that could never be redeemed.
She had perfected this art over her many years, learning how to keep herself at exactly the right distance from her emotions; having them far away enough so that they wouldn’t cloud her judgement, yet keep them near enough that she didn’t completely lose them, so that they could be called up again when needs be. Like when Twilight and Luna first admitted their companionship to Celestia at their meeting. At the time she felt nothing but happiness, she had had to abandon her student and her sister in favour of her work but if they now had each other, well it would be good for the both of them.
After Celestia had left to return to her duties however, she thought of the ramifications that both she and her sister were aware of. She thought of her sister and her best friend dying, leaving her alone with her kingdom. For the briefest of moments she had resented Twilight as she thought of her sister being taken away from her like this, but like almost all of her negative thoughts, she subdued it, willing it to never surface again. As much as she loved her sister, she loved Twilight too, in a sort of maternal way, she could never hate her, no matter what she did.
Celestia suddenly halted having almost crashed straight into one of the cooks that was carrying a tray of biscuits in the opposite direction. As soon as the cook realised who had almost walked into him, he bent into a practised bow, head lowered to the floor.
“Apologies princess, I wasn’t looking where I was going.” The cook said apologetically. Celestia gestured for him to rise.
“No, the fault is all mine, I mistakenly decided to walk along without focusing where I was going.” Celestia told the cook who rose and shook his head determinedly.
“No ma’am, I don’t think you could ever make a mistake.” The cook told her before giving another quick bow and side-stepping the princess.
‘I make them more than one might think.’ Celestia thought bitterly as she continued on her way to the hall.
Celestia thought back to Luna’s words back in their room, ‘Oh, and we just wanted to know whether it would be okay if Twilight worked with me in Night Court?’ It wasn’t the fact that Luna wanted Twilight to work with her at Night Court, that was actually pretty unsurprising in itself. It was the fact that Luna actually wanted to do Night Court. Celestia had thought that Luna would want to enjoy the mortal lifetime she held without the burden of helping rule a kingdom. She appeared to be mistaken though, and thinking back further, she realised why Luna wanted to help. She remembered how guilty Luna had felt over making Celestia do her work whilst she was living happily in Ponyville. But Celestia didn’t mind, she hadn’t even considered not accepting to do her work. However, as she thought about it now, it really matched Luna’s personality, she was always the sort of pony that hated burdening other ponies or going back on promises, she was a mare of her word. Celestia smiled at the thought, but it was tinged with sadness. She wanted Luna to enjoy her time but she knew that Luna would insist of working alongside her, and there was nought she could do.
She was certainly glad that they were back at Canterlot though, even if it was a guilty pleasure, she knew that she was taking them away from their friends and she felt massively remorseful about it. However, she had nopony else to enjoy herself with in the rare times that she could enjoy herself. Everypony she knew (and she knew a lot) couldn’t separate themselves of the thought of Princess Celestia being just that, a princess. Everyone was so formal, ponies just couldn’t relax in her presence. She knew this was just another burden of having to run a kingdom, but still her loneliness frustrated her to no end.
As Celestia neared the large oak double doors leading the main hall, the two guards on either side opened them for her, announcing her presence to the accumulated ponies in the hall. Celestia mentally sighed and walked herself to the throne, alone in the crowd.