//------------------------------// // Starting a New Leaf // Story: Man in a Pony’s World // by Nugget27 //------------------------------// The week following the play, and the week before Nightmare Night, not much had really changed for Bob. Despite his personal grievances, he still went to Cheerilee’s school, since Twilight argued that he should still use the opportunity to socialize. Twilight agreed to reward the human for every week he didn’t yell at Cheerilee when he went to school. The rewards were usually just snacks, maybe a small little session where the unicorn would teach something the human actually wanted to know. Of course, that seemed fair as well, since Twilight and her friends… were not on good terms with the school teacher. The opportunity to socialize isn't something Bob could really argue with. He’s pretty sure if he cooped up in the library and only left for work, he would go insane. Of course, Bob still did well, but wasn’t enthusiastic about the history of Equestria as he once was. Why should he care for a race that doesn’t care for him? On Bob’s first day back, his classmates looked at him weird. As to why, Bob couldn’t figure out. So, he was just sitting in class, nodding and pretending he was listening. After he had quickly made friends with Golden Arrow, the colt had been sitting next to him everyday in class due to the lack of assigned seats. As for why Bob didn’t notice, he was a bit busy stressing himself out over a song he had to write for… Bob shook his head. It wouldn’t do well to get mad. Most of the math and reading periods of the day were spent with the human helping his little pony friend, and that same little pony friend receiving ear and neck scratches whenever he got an answer right. An incentive to do well in school. “Hey,” Diamond Tiara interrupted the silence of a working class of foals. “Why does Golden Arrow, a blank flank, get pampered whenever he gets a question right?” She asked. Ms. Cheerilee looked up from her desk full of paperwork and letters. A lot of which were negative letters about her play. A lot of them involved a certain, angry human at the time. All of them were in favor of said angry human. “Ms, Cheerilee, Bob scratches that blank flank’s neck and ears whenever he ‘does well’. Yet I don’t see the rest of us getting those!” “None of you showed interest in even talking or speaking with me,” Bob said, he was now being used by the mentioned blank flank as a chair. “Sometimes I scratch Apple Bloom for doing well, same with Sweetie Belle or Scootaloo. It’s just harder to do since they’re usually on the other side of the room from me.” Golden Arrow seemed a bit oblivious to the world, he was working through a multiplication problem on his own so Bob could see if the colt got the hang of doing the work on his own. The foal cooed as Bob showed his approval for the right answer, which was a chin scratch. “And Arrow’s my friend, I tend to scratch the backs of my pony friends… if I have any.” “Ape, you cannot speak,” Diamond Tiara grunted. “You’re not even a pony, you’re not important! Just like how you weren’t important at the play.” “Cool.” The human’s eye twitched. “I got to hangout with a Princess last week, and even became friends with her shortly after meeting her. So me not being important at a play wasn’t too big of a deal- Arrow, make sure you carry your numbers over in division-” the colt nodded and went back to focusing on his work. “So why are you mad about me choosing to pet somebody who likes getting petted?” “The whole class should be petted and scratched for doing well on their assignments!” “If that were the case, I’d be here all day. Secondly,” He hummed. “Shut up.” Bob flipped the filly off, before checking his friend’s work again. “Hey, you got everything right.” Bob nodded in approval. Golden Arrow cheered and spun around so he could hug the human. “Thank you, Bob!” Arrow remained, his little legs wrapped around Bob’s chest. “You’re a good teacher; I wouldn’t be able to get everything right without you!” “Hey, you just needed a few tips. The things that our teacher,” the human sigh eyed Cheerilee. “Teaches math with methods that are not only longer, but more complicated. You learnt the trick of the trade, and then your brain did the rest!” Bob chuckled and then froze as Arrow’s muzzle shot up and licked him in the neck. “Feck, that tickles kid, please don’t…” Arrow looked up at him maliciously. “Uh… Please don’t tickle me after school.” Arrow smiled and opened his mouth, only to get interrupted. “Get a room!” Diamond Tiara shouted. “Look, I got everything right!” She picked her paper up in her mouth. “I should geth scratcthes tooth!” Her voice was a bit muffled by the paper. “Kid, you got twenty two from six times three. You didn’t get everything right.” Bob pointed out. “And if you weren’t entirely unlikeable, and actually nice to me, I’d happily scratch your back even without you getting everything right.” The Cutie Mark Crusaders walked up to Bob’s desk and showed him their papers. They promptly got ear scratches. Perfect grades, by the look of things. They cheered and went to turn their assignments in, after taking Bob and Arrow’s papers at the human’s request. “As it stands, Diamond Tiara, four ‘losers’ are better at something than you. Which is not being a stinky piece of shit.” Bob leaned back, only to remember that none of the desks were made for anything bipedal.  “Oh please, you’re lucky that I don’t have Daddy lock you up in the pound.” Bob remained silent, setting Arrow on the ground. He got out of his seat. “Where do you think you’re going? To get your mommy?” Diamond Tiara taunted. Bob stopped in his tracks. “Or are you going to get your daddy? I bet they’re both just as worthless as-” “Diamond Tiara, I’m not going to punch you in the face, since you didn’t know any better, but…” Bob said slowly. “My mother is dead… It’s why I even know how to sing at all. I sang in a choir because my Dad said she absolutely loved church choirs, and I thought she’d be happy to hear me sing in one, if she was watching me from her home up in the sky. I never even got to know her. I’m the youngest of four siblings, and Mom died after I was born.” The human took a deep breath. “My dad worked two jobs to keep our family afloat with Mom being dead. My dad was the strongest man I ever knew, so don’t you dare call him worthless. My fucking dog is a better person than you’ll ever be, so don’t you dare fucking talk about my family, you worthless, little shit. At least you can see your parents at the end of every day; I can’t even have that while living in Equestria.” Diamond Tiara’s jaw was hanging. Her eyes were even wider now as she slowly closed her mouth. “L-look… I-I didn’t mean to-” “Yes you did!” Arrow shouted. “You were being mean on purpose! Now look, my friend looks about ready to cry.” Bob patted the colt on the head. “Don’t worry about me kiddo, it’s not that big of a deal. I’ll keep on living; Ma wouldn’t be too happy if I decided to die…” “That’s not okay! I’m telling Mom!” Bob blinked a couple of times, that confused him to the point that he couldn’t even feel being broken anymore… “Tell her what?” He raised an eyebrow. Bob walked out of the schoolhouse a few hours later, the rest of the day was uneventful and quiet, with Diamond Tiara being held in school during recess because of what she had said. The human sat down on a bench and simply ate a sandwich he had made himself, a LT(lettuce snd tomato sammich). “Hey Bob,” the human slowly looked up at the sound of that voice. Sitting across from him was Venice Arrow, his friend’s mother. Beside her was the colt in question, sitting there with a bright smile on his face. “Hey, Ms. Arrow… Why are you looking at me, like you’re… Did somebody pass away?” Bob asked. “No, Bob. I was… Told of what happened to your mother by my little Arrow.” The human raised an eyebrow. “And, while I am sure Twilight Sparkle is doing an excellent job and housing and taking care of your needs, she isn’t really a replacement for a mother,” the mare reached out with her hooves and managed to grab ahold of the human’s hands despite her not having fingers. “If you need anything, a place to say, a shoulder to cry into, and while I know you excel in the work the school gives you, somepony to help and support you, I will be here.” Bob blinked a couple times at Venice’s words… His brain could barely process what was going on. “Wha?” Bob sputtered. “But… you’ve known me for a week.” “Does it matter? You are a friend of Golden, so I know I’ll be seeing you a lot. And while I won’t force adoption on you, or ask that you call me mother, just… if you need somepony to act as a mother when you need it, I’m here for you.” Bob stared at the mare as she stared right back into his eyes. They looked… genuinely concerned for him. Not even a week, that’s how long she knew him, and Venice was already willing to act like a mother for him, should he desire it. Bob sighed before standing up and walking around the table. “If you’ll tolerate me and all of my problems…” Bob hugged the mare. “Then thank you.” The next few days, the Arrows would stop by the Gold Oaks Library to spend some time with the human. Other than the visits and school, Bob didn’t have anything to do. After Bob had been so thoroughly screwed over, Twilight and her friends suddenly decided to stop having him do any sort of work, so he just practiced halloween songs in his free time. The few ponies that actually came by to check a book out, ended up just sitting near the human to listen to whatever he was playing while they read, or just to listen to the human sing, what he believed to be, some terrible music. Then, the night came, well, Nightmare Night did. Bob didn’t make a costume, since he couldn’t sew, and he didn’t want to bother Rarity with his costume ideas. So, when in doubt, and because he just didn’t want to go outside, on a chilly night, to celebrate a pony version of a holiday he already didn’t celebrate, he decided to try and lock himself in the basement for the night… which he would’ve done if Twilight didn’t drag him out of the basement and kept him from entering it after she learnt of his plans. So, Bob just sat around, frowning as he sat next to a bowl of candy. After saying that he wanted to also stay inside, that didn’t fly with Twilight either.  So Spike got to stay home and hand candy out, while Bob was forced to come along with Twilight even if he didn’t have a costume. So here he was, sitting down and waiting for the unicorn to finally make an appearance, as she was apparently trying to make sure that her costume was on exactly how she liked it, before she came down stairs. How Spike, who dressed up in a dragon onesie, that seemed to be skin tight, got his costume on faster, Bob couldn’t guess. The door finally opened and the sounds of bells could be heard. As she descended, with her eyes closed, Spike and Bob watched. Bob had no idea what she was trying to be, and Spike probably had some idea of who she was meant to be. “Are you that one grumpy grandpa from the retirement home?” Spike asked.  “I’m Starswirl the Bearded!” Twilight continued to try and remind Spike of who that was, before there was a knock on the door. The human in the room just sat there, before picking up his guitar. He walked to the door and… all the foals stared up at him.  “Whoa! What are you trying to be?” “...I don’t have a costume.” “So you’re that ugly looking?” Another kid asked. They were his fucking classmates. “Why don’t you have a costume, Mr. Ugly Thing?” The other filly asked. Bob stared at the kids for a moment. “I’m going to buy alcohol and knock myself… out…” Spike burped up a letter.  “It’s for you,” the baby dragon handed him the scroll… that had Luna’s seal on it. Dear Bob, I am informing you that myself and my sister shall be arriving in Ponyville to celebrate Nightmare Night with you. I think we will have quite a bit of fun, and that you’ll enjoy your night. So as much as you would like to stay home, at least try to be out and about for an hour with Celestia and Us. Sorry, my wretched sister is trying to make sure I write this letter in modern Equestria and making sure I refer to myself as ‘I’. Now she’s giving me puppy eyes in the chariot as I write this because she saw what I called her- Hello, Bob. I took the letter from Luna, since she was so mean to me, I am sad. Anyways, I don’t usually partake in Nightmare Night, for one reason or another, but tonight will be special. I want to spend the night with you; Luna has told me much, and while our last interaction was when you first arrived in Equestria, I do hope to spend the night with you and truly interact with you. We’ll also be telling you some very important news, so you best not hide away in my student’s basement, alright? Love, Princess Luna and Princess Celestia. P. S. Hope to see your costume. I’ll be a bananna- Celestia. P.P.S Luna wants a belly rub when the night is over; she’s heard wonderful things about it after she stole one of Twilight’s friendship reports out from under my nose. Bob stared down at the letter, mostly shocked at… how informal it was. With how formal Celestia was, to how Luna seemed to be one for tradition, and how formal Twilight’s letters had to be, according to the unicorn herself, the letter just looked like two friends talking to somebody they hadn’t seen in a while through letters. Though… Bob was not looking forward to seeing Celestia again. While she probably meant well, and while he wanted to take the punishment she gave him, he had given it some thought. She really punished him for not being able to get food legally, and for defending himself when ponies assaulted him for taking their food. Granted, it was just community service, but it was still absolute bullshit. If Celestia rightened that wrong, then he probably would like to get to know the Princess more. “What does it say, Bob?” Twilight asked. “Luna wants a belly rub, and Celestia is a banana. Both of them are gonna be here in about twenty minutes, and they’ll be arriving at town hall.” Bob said, staring down at the letter. “Can’t wait to hug Luna again, the way she nuzzles into it is super cute.” Bob started walking towards town hall. “Go ahead and enjoy your night, Twilight! If you wanna join me and your mentor, and your mentor’s sister you can!” Bob broke into a sprint, his guitar in tow.  By the time the human had made it to the Town Hall, two tall, equine shaped figures touched the ground. “Lulu, I know you wanted to follow tradition, but did we have to do it so menacingly?” The taller figure asked. “Uh… No sister, I do not know why lightning struck as soon as the two of us touched the ground, but I’m certain our subjects will be more than happy to at least see you. It’ll mean they can’t be scared of me, when they’re too busy gawking at your… outfit. Why are you a banana?” “Because I would like to celebrate Nightmare Night, since I agreed to come out here, and a banana just seems fitting.” Both figures took their hoods off to reveal… Celestia in a very fitting costume of a specific yellow fruit, whereas Luna had forgotten any costumes at all, and was only wearing her regalia. Bob broke into a sprint again and promptly tackled Luna as she and her older sister continued to chat. He wrapped his arms around her neck and hugged her tightly. Since Luna was significantly heavier than he was, she didn’t even budge, but she stood there in shock.  “Luna!” Bob cheered as the Moon Princess first got over her shock, and she lowered to her knees, or rather the pony equivalent, and started giggling as Bob happily hugged onto his new best friend. “It’s been a minute!” “It has actually been a week. Is your perception of time warped, perchance?” The Princess chuckled as her human proceeded to explain to her that it was slang.  “I see you’ve been working on speaking a bit more modernly.” Bob said, noting how Luna hadn’t slipped, even if there was a slight accent to her more… modern speech. “‘Tis so that it is easier to understand me. Thou must know that I sometimes fall into old habits.” “You, Luna, you said thou instead of you.” “Buck off, sister.” The two siblings snickered, only for Celestia to puff her cheeks. Bob was scratching her younger sister, and said sibling seemed to heavily enjoy being pampered by those paws of Bob’s. He scratched here, scratched there, and Luna was more than willing to receive scratches and help Bob find the spots that itches the most, while Bob was more than willing to help her with those itches. “Can I be petted as well?” Celestia asked. “I know I have an itch under my wing that could use scratching. “Neigh, sister, Bob is my human,” Princess Luna nuzzled into her human’s arms.  Bob finally let go of Luna, not without one more ear scratch, and stood up. “Howdy, Celestia. How’s life going?” “It is going well, how is your time in Ponyville going?” She asked. “Oh yeah, life’s going great,” Bob chuckled. “I guess it’s going great at least. I’m not dead yet, despite one of my recent efforts to try and become a corpse, but Luna kinda stopped that.” Bob hugged Luna again, now that she too had stood up. “And she is partially why I haven’t tried again; I’m alone, but Luna is too, together, we aren’t so alone.” Luna cooed as she received another scratch, only to glare up at Bob. “What was that, about trying to become a corpse? You best not try to get yourself killed, Mister. Don’t you dare leave me alone again!” Luna nipped Bob’s ear and he yelped. “It… you two bonded rather quickly.” “Of course we did, sister. Bob is considered evil by our subjects, like how I was a thousand years ago. The only difference is I could interfere before Bob truly became ‘evil’.” Luna sighed as she noted the guitar on his back. “Do you plan on playing a song?” “There’s a scary contest thing, where you try and do something to scare the crowd. I know of a few songs that my kind has produced… that could probably scare somebody. I hope I can win, I doubt I’ll even be allowed to compete, but I’ll attempt to, and if I can’t, that’s a shame. I’ll just go home and see if I can’t break into Twilight’s wine cabinet and drink myself into an early sleep.” Bob shrugged before his eyes narrowed at Celestia. “So, I know you wanna actually be my friend, but there are several problems here.” “I believe you’ve come to understand the circumstances for your punishments are… rather unfair,” Celestia noted. “Meh, it doesn’t matter now, since I’m still living with them, so there’s no point in worrying about it. Another thing is that you are terrifying.” “Why is that?” Celestia tilted her head. “Is it my magic?” “It’s a mix of things. You’re very clearly good at magic, with how long you’ve been alive, you’re taller and heavier than I am, and can order me dead at the drop of a hat.” Bob shrugged. “Maybe my fear’s unfounded, you’re probably the nicest pony, besides Luna, that I’ll ever meet.” Bob shrugged. “Luna can order me killed and is probably just as strong as you are, but she’s only as tall as I am, and…” Bob scratched the now sleepy Princess; he had been idly scratching her and it was making Luna a bit drowsy. “She’s yet to even do anything, she used her magic to get me out of a hiding place and immediately asked if I was alright, instead of making sure I wasn’t a threat…” “‘Tis a bit foolish to think you are a threat,” Luna pulled herself away from the human. “I need you to stop scratching me or I will end up sleeping on my hooves.” She then headbutted Bob lightly. “Come, the night is young, and I wish to understand how ponies celebrate Nightmare Night. Come, come!” She happily trotted along, taking Bob along with her as she pranced towards ponies… who were cowering in fear at the sight of her. Luna sighed and lost a lot of the spring in her step. Bob hopped off of Luna’s back and he started walking beside her. “Hey, Apple Jack’s over there, I think she’s doing some apple bobbing.” Bob pointed out. The three of them approached, and at Bob’s urging, Luna was first to try, and had to be explained the rules by the farm pony. Meanwhile, the human and Celestia sat down together a bit away, and the Sun Princess sighed. She wasn’t enjoying the human’s silence. “So Bob,” Celestia broke the silence first.” Why don’t you like me?” “You’re old enough to guess why. You’re a nice mare, I’m sure, but you represent, in my mind, a country that simply hates me. You gave me a punishment. Back when I said I was guilty and would take any punishment? I was saving my own ass from being killed, or whatever the fuck you were going to do me. I’m some stupid kid, in way over his head, and I was terrified of what you would've done to me. In reality… You punished me for trying to live. I know you probably had to; a good king never does what he wants, does he? No, he does what seems like what would be in favor of the masses. If you let ‘something’ like me loose in Ponyville without anything to make me ’behave’, then your ponies would get angry.” Bob sighed. “I can’t blame ‘Celestia’ but I can blame ‘Princess Celestia’ for what I’ve been through. The problem is separating the Princess from the Mare.” “...You are very mature for your age.” “Had to be; can’t be childish if I know I’m gonna fuckin’ die to a stray unicorn spell, can I?” “I suppose not,” Celestia outstretched a wing. “Perhaps we can start anew?” Luna shouted at the tub full of apples as she struggled at apple bobbing. “I know Luna wished to relay the news, but you are no longer being punished for your ‘crimes’. You are free to live life as you see fit, be sent home once my mages find a spell to do so, anything. You don’t need to pour another hour into community service.” Luna rejoiced, finally grabbing an apple, only to curse when that was her prize. And then rejoiced at how good the apple tasted. “I suppose… we can try and move past this, Celestia. I don’t like holding grudges, I really don’t; I can say what I want about religion, but boy does it have some good lessons here and there.” Bob grinned as Luna tried her hoof at apple bobbing one more time, only to fail again. “How about we pretend like we just met again…” Bob outstretched a hand. “I’m Bob, Luna met me while she was exploring the ruins of your old castle. I believe you’re her older sister, Celestia?” Celestia immediately played along, taking the hand. “Indeed I am, I am Celestia. You are Bob, this… human Luna’s told me about?” “Right on the money. I heard you like cake?” “I do, do you know how to bake one?” “My older brother worked in a bakery; taught me everything I know about baking cakes. Perhaps I can bake one for Luna’s birthday and I can slide you a slice?” “...That would be lovely…” Both Princess and Human sighed. “Do you wish to be sent back to Earth?” Bob grunted when a very volatile Princess Luna tackled him. All he did was grin as he watched Luna nuzzle into his chest about her trials in apple bobbing. He just looked back up at Celestia and slowly shook his head. “I see.” The two nodded at each other before they went to do more activities. Luna seemed to be on an emotional rollercoaster. Every time Luna would be happy for winning a little minigame, Pinkie was nearby to call her Nightmare Moon and make her sad again. Luckily Bob easily got her out of her funk every time by pointing at a game where the two could compete in, and he would let Luna win by just a hair each time. Occasionally, the Sisters would compete and Celestia would pout when her little sister won, as Luna would pout each time her older sister won. Bob was now staring across from Celestia, as they were having a staring contest. The winner got a free mug of Sweet Apple Acres Apple Cider, brewed on the spot by Big Mac, who was running the booth. Bob won the cider, but couldn’t have any since he was underaged and Luna wouldn’t let him even sip it. So Big Mac gave the human some apple juice to make up for it. After the three had grown tired of the festivities, mostly due to Celestia being tired of seeing her little sister go through an emotional rollercoaster, they all retreated to the comforts of the library.  They even skipped the contest Bob wanted to attend. He was also getting tired of seeing Luna being so heavily affected by how foals perceive her. “So Bob,” Luna started. “I am going to try my best to say this… Especially in a modern tongue so that you’ll understand this.” She cleared her throat. “I, Princess Luna, revoke any and all crimes that are held to your name. Any punishments you have received for your crimes and now null and void. You are a free stallion and you are officially a citizen of Equestria!” Bob paused as he sat down. Princess Celestia summoned a cushion as Bob genuinely smiled.  “It won’t do much in the way of ponies accepting me,” Bob sighed. “But at least I’m no longer ‘in debt’ to ponies.” He hummed. “However, Luna,” the moon Princess looked up from a cup of hot cocoa that she had just brewed… with ingredients she got from nowhere. “I do remember something that your letter addressed, and something I believe is important. Put your hot chocolate down.” “Why am I doing this?” Luna asked, she did put her mug down, but she was confused. Bob walked over to her and coaxed the alicorn into laying all the way down… Head, neck and stomach, before rolling her over and rubbing her belly. Celestia and Bob nodded to each other; Luna served as the glue that would start their new friendship. “Oh joyous night!” Luna let out a very pleased sigh. “Your Princess enjoys this, Bob. Do continue!” “Your fur’s nice, soft and fun to run my hands through, so I will keep rubbing your belly.” Luna, despite being nocturnal, dozed off while her human pampered her. “When will I get a belly rub?” Celestia asked, pouting a little. “Hmm… stay on my good side until Christmas, and I’ll rub your belly.” “I don’t know when that is, but how about you rub my belly if I successfully become your friend by the end of the year?” “Deal.” Bob sighed. “God, it feels like a weight’s been lifted off my chest. Don’t get me wrong, Celestia, I am still a bit mad, despite us trying to start over a new leaf, but I’ll try and look past this. I don’t wanna hold a grudge, and now I really don’t have a reason to be bitter to you, now that I’m officially a free man.” Bob laid down and laid his head on Luna’s chest. “I hope things will start looking better.” Luna’s eyes snapped open as she looked down at the human sleeping on her belly. “This is the best moment of my life.” She whispered as she curled her body around Bob’s head.