Twilight furiously marched into the kitchen where her friends were all waiting for her, looking confused, concerned, or possibly both. The princess took up a scroll in her magic, and began to read. “As of today, there’s a new rule concerning Canterlot’s royal kitchen,” she announced. “Rainbow Dash is to not be allowed any further than the dining room for eating, and is to be expressly removed from the kitchens on sight. She is, effective immediately, banned from the premises.”
With that, Rainbow Dash was marched out of the room by some guards, while Twilight magically updated the “Banned From the Kitchen List” to include Rainbow Dash, upping the number of banned figures to 3. The previous inductees were Sweetie Belle, who was only allowed in to grab snacks and was not allowed to cook anything ever, and Discord, who was allowed in under Fluttershy’s supervision.
With that, Sunny raised a hoof in confusion. “So, what exactly did she do to get banned?”
“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”
Apple Bloom was leading another sightseeing tour through Ponyville, as she had become well practiced in doing. “Coming up next on our tour, we have Lyra Heartstrings sitting on a bench in a really weird way, a staple of our tours. Photo op!”
At that, a surprising number of cameras began to flash, as Lyra smiled and posed for the cameras. Somehow she found the attention to her odd behavior to be exciting, which didn’t surprise Apple Bloom at all. Plus, she got royalties for posing as a highlight of the paid tours.
Continuing the tour, Apple Bloom soon led the group towards a nearby cliff face, where Rainbow Dash was on the ground again. Upon seeing this, and the nearby Daring Do novel laying on the ground, Apple Bloom groaned and began to shout through the megaphone, “tour’s on break, everypony! We’ll continue shortly after these messages.”
At that, Pinkie Pie suddenly appeared and distracted the group with a live commercial about Sugarcube Corner.
Apple Bloom gently tapped Rainbow Dash’s side as she began to whisper. “Rainbow Dash, I thought we told you to stop reading those books while you flew!”
“And I have! I only read every so often now while I fly,” Rainbow Dash grumbled as she began to stir.
“Well at the rate you’re going, I’m going to have to make the ‘Downed Dash’ a full-time photo op, and I doubt you want that. Now then, do you need me to take you to Nurse Redheart?”
“Nah, I’m good this time,” Rainbow Dash answered, managing to get back up without issue and hover. “Would I get royalties if I was part of the tour?”
“I’ll think about it.”
“Let me see if I have this right,” Pinkie Pie said, sounding a little bit more serious than usual. “You borrowed a balloon from Cherry Berry so that we could fly to the Crystal Empire instead of taking the train and hone your balloon flying skills.”
“That’s right.”
“And you have a map that shows you which way to go, so we won't get lost.”
“Of course I do!”
“And you left the map in your sock drawer back home?”
“Well I have to store it somewhere, or else I would lose it. How can I fly a balloon if I don’t know which way I’m going?”
“But you left the map back at home in your sock drawer, right?” Pinkie asked.
“Yep, that way I would know where it is!”
“That’s all well and good, but do you know which way the Crystal Empire is?”
“No, that’s why I have a map.”
“Which you left in your sock drawer.”
“Of course!”
Pinkie Pie face hoofed. “Minty, we’re lost.”
By now Minty had come to understand the gravity of her blunder, though she remained optimistic. Fortunately Pinkie Pie, being Pinkie Pie, stayed relatively cheerful as well, even if she wasn’t pleased with the situation.
Discord had also appeared in the balloon, claiming he had “sensed some excellent chaos and simply had to drop by.” He was now sitting in the corner eating popcorn while Minty steered the balloon in what was probably the wrong direction. Fortunately, the weather was good, so there was no significant danger from the flight. After quite a while, the trio spotted some population appearing in the distance, to Minty’s satisfaction. “See, I told you we wouldn’t need the map!” she giggled.
“That’s Manehattan,” Discord responded.
As it turned out, while Minty had the sense of direction of a Parasprite, she had at least gotten enough practice with balloons to land one without toppling any buildings, much to Pinkie’s relief and Discord’s disappointment. By now they had found a little dessert shop, where Minty was enjoying some chocolate chip mint ice cream, (obviously.) Discord was drinking from a rather large glass of chocolate milk, and Pinkie Pie was eating everything that was on the menu.
“So, what’s the game plan once we’re all done here, anyway?” Discord asked.
“Well, I was thinking I might ask you super nicely to get us back to Ponyville once we’re done playing around here,” Pinkie explained. “We’ll just have to go to the Crystal Empire some other day.”
“It has been a little while since I visited Manehattan, I suppose I can make that arrangement,” Discord agreed. “I can start with that ice skating rink I’ve been meaning to try.”
However, the sound of delighted munching soon distracted the two, as they turned to see that Minty was happily consuming yet another thing of mint ice cream. And it was even bigger this time.
Discord smirked. “I’m starting to see why you two are friends.”
Discord had completely taken over the skating rink, barring the suspiciously sentient snowponies that were also running around the area and bombarding each other with snowballs. “He’s pretty good at skating,” Minty complimented, as Discord pulled off a triple axel without falling over, an impressive feat given his bizarre proportions. “Do you think he practices often?”
“I wouldn’t be surprised if he did. Probably has a way to do so in his dimension,” Pinkie said, while dodging a snowball that one of the snowponies had launched at her. Minty was not so fortunate, and got nailed in the face by a snowball that knocked her across the rink.
At that, a snowpony dressed up as a referee penalized her for “illegal rink obstruction,” and booted her to the penalty box even though they weren't playing hockey.
Pinkie Pie and Minty waited by the hot air balloon for Discord, with both decked out in t-shirts that read, “I love Manehattan.” Minty had also bought a coffee mug. There had been a party at Rarity For You, where they managed to pick up the shirts on a discount, and Pinkie had promised to inform Rarity that her shop was doing well. Now all that remained was waiting for Discord to return to the balloon to take them home.
“What do you suppose is keeping him?” Minty pondered.
“He’ll be along soon enough,” Pinkie responded. “He’s likely just pulling a final prank or grabbing a postcard for Fluttershy.”
Sure enough, Discord soon returned with a bucket of red paint, and a pleased look on his face. “I’m here!” he announced proudly. “Just had to stop and make sure I painted the town red,” he explained.
A rimshot could promptly be heard.
“Did you get postcards as well?” Pinkie asked, looking amused by the joke.
“Naturally,” Discord replied, dropping a mountain of postcards into the balloon. “I plan to mail most of them to Applejack individually to see how many envelopes she opens before giving up. But that’s for later, let’s be on our way before the mayor realizes I vandalized town hall.”
With that, Discord snapped his claws, and the trio was back in Ponyville.
The trio cheerfully walked through the streets of Ponyville, satisfied with their day’s adventure. The balloon had been safely returned to Cherry Berry, and they had made it back in time for dinner. Discord had already mailed off all of the postcards to Applejack, and was sure to have them all signed with his name as well so she knew it was him. “I’m certain Twilight will have me remove the paint from Manehattan’s town hall tomorrow, so this will make for a nice consolation later,” he chuckled sinisterly.
“Well, that was fun!” Pinkie said happily, bouncing alongside her friends. “Want to do it again for the Crystal Empire sometime?”
“Sounds fun!” Minty replied. “And next time, I’ll bring the map for sure!”
“Then it’s settled!” Discord announced. “And when we do, I’ll paint Cadance’s entire castle red as well. It’s good to maintain some consistency, at least with political buildings and what color you paint them.”
“You know Twilight will have you clean it off, right?”
“It will be worth it to see the look on her face.”