Non Reproducible Certificate
Code Word: #NonReproducibleCertificate
“So…” you tentatively begin, “you’re… selling a page, right?”
Flim and Flam, standing on the small stage that they are, glance between each other. You saw them peddling something new, likely one of their latest scams, and came over to see. A few others have gathered to watch with some whispering of buying. An advertisement standing next to them reads, in big letters:
Buy ownership of
a page from
the Book of All Stories
“Oh no no,” Flim replies. “What we are selling is a certificate of ownership for a page from the Book of All Stories!”
“That’s right,” Flam says with a twirl of his mustache. He levitates the “certificate” out so that you and everyone else can see it. “What we are selling is a one-of-a-kind certificate that says that you, good patron, are the verified owner of one page from the Book of All Stories.”
“A Non-Reproducible Certificate. N.R.C., if you like,” Flim continues. “So what do you say? You seem rather interested in the page. Would you like to buy ownership of it today?”
You think about this. This is feeling stupidly familiar.
“If I buy that certificate, will I also get the page itself?” you ask.
“No no,” Flam replies. “You would get the certificate that says that you own the page. Better act now as there is only one certificate like this in the entire world! And demand is high.”
Caramel Malt, carrying a saddlebag bursting with items she bought from around the market, walks up next to you. “Hey, are they really selling a page?”
You lean over. “No. Not even close.”
She frowns. “So then what are they selling?”
You glance back up at Flim and Flam still up on their stage peddling to the moderate crowd that has gathered. You pull her aside.
“It’s a scam,” you tell her. “They’re just selling a piece of paper that says things but does nothing. It’s completely worthless.”
“So… completely worthless even though it says we would own the page.”
“Yeah. That’s right.” You look her up and down. “I see you’ve been busy.”
Caramel Malt flicks some of the doodads hanging out of her saddlebags. “Haha, yeah. I want to buy things, don’t you know?”
“Were you planning on buying a certificate?”
She looks up and sees the price Flim and Flam have advertised on their sign. It is very high.
“I’m thinking about it. I mean, it would clean me out, so I don’t know…”
You sigh. “Caramel, I have a bridge in Manehattan that I can sell to you.”
She blinks. “What? Really!?”
“No!” You pause to collect yourself. “It’s a scam. Okay? Don’t buy into any of this.”
Caramel Malt deflates. “Oh, okay…”
You look back up. You can see the certificate that Flim and Flam are peddling. You see that the certificate contains, in its background, a picture of a page from the Book of All Stories.
“I will say, though, I think Flim and Flam do have an actual page laying around somewhere,” you say. You point at the certificate.
Caramel Malt also looks. “Yeah. Seems so. You think we can find it?”
That’s a question. You have no reason to believe they would be keeping the page nearby, and you have no reason to believe they would need to go back to revisit it anytime soon.
“Not quickly,” you reply.
“So what do we do?” Caramel Malt asks.
You think your options over. An obvious choice would be to leave Flim and Flam to it. It isn’t as if you can do anything else.
But a thought does occur to you. You approach the stage. “Hey, what makes it non-reproducible?”
Flam looks down at you. And he smirks. “Glad you asked. It’s non-reproducible because there is no other certificate like this out there. This is an authentic document.”
So it’s not protected in any way. That’s all you need to know. There is an idea you have that involves taking the non-reproducible thing and reproducing it anyway, but it would take a bit of doing depending on what resources you have available. It might not be worth the trouble since Flim and Flam could just pull this scam somewhere else; not like you will get a page out of this anyway.
[CHOICE]
Do you leave things be or do you enact a plan to screw the N.R.C. market?
> Leave Flim and Flam to be. (Villain)
> Flood the market with copies of the certificate. (Chaos)
[ENDING A: VILLAINS]
You decide that getting in the way of whatever is going on just isn’t worth the hassle. Any effort you might spend trying to deal with this would be better spent trying to recover the actual page. You’re still not sure how you’re going to manage that.
So you step back. You and Caramel Malt simply watch as Flim and Flam work the crowd. You see the spectators increasingly enthralled with their options.
Eventually, one unfortunate sucker takes the bait and shells out the exorbitant bits the brothers were asking for. Flam gives the sucker the page and has them sign their name on it, completing the certification.
And that’s all. The sucker trots away with the certificate. You know for a fact that that pony will never ever see the actual page for as long as they live.
“So that’s that,” Caramel Malt says with a sigh. “Those brothers got their bits.”
“Yeah. Nothing we can do about it now.” You turn to her. “Come on. There’s more work to be done.”
(+1 page for Villains)
[ENDING B: CHAOS]
You whisper to Caramel Malt, “Did you happen to buy anything that duplicates things?”
Caramel Malt gasps. “Actually, I sorta did. I almost forgot. I bought some water that’s supposed to make copies of things that you soak in it.”
“That will work. Follow my lead.”
“Okay,” she whispers back.
“Flim, Flam, we’re sold,” you announce.
They beam with delight. “Excellent. Let’s make the exchange…” Flim says.
You give them the bits—all of them, no less.
“Now. We’ll just have you sign the certificate, and then the page will be truly yours,” Flam says as he produces a quill.
You turn to Caramel Malt. “You said you wanted to put your name on it?”
It takes her a second, but she nods. “Yeah. I did?”
“Okay… I wanted to put my name on it.”
It takes her another second. “We can’t both put our name on it, can we?”
You sigh. You turn to Flim and Flam. “Uh, the two of us have to talk about whose name we want to put on the N.R.C..” You wave at them and motion for them to give it to you. “But I’ll take that now.”
The brothers look at each other and then magic the certificate into your hands.
You and Caramel Malt retreat to a safe place. You sit down and prepare to duplicate the certificate with whatever she has.
As she pulls out a large canister, you frown. “What is this?” you ask. “Mirror Pond water?”
She shrugs. “I don’t know. Maybe?”
You look her in the eyes. “What were you planning on doing with that, Caramel?”
“Shut it. What do you need this for?”
“You’ll see,” you reply. “Give me that pan sticking out of your saddlebag.”
She does so. You take the pan and pour the water into it. You then drop the certificate into the water. It seems to increase in thickness several times. Then, as you pull the certificate out, you pull out what has to be a few hundred copies of it, all neatly stacked.
You hand one to Caramel Malt, instruct her to sign it, and then you sign another one. You still have a few hundred unsigned certificates.
“Right. Now we’re ready.”
You clean everything up and head back over to Flim and Flam. You see them still entertaining a crowd, trying to goad them into begging them to make another certificate.
“Hey, everypony!” you exclaim. “Free certificates for everypony!”
Without further ado, you begin handing them out. The ponies react first with confusion as you surprise them and then shocked gasps pass around as they realize what exactly you’re handing them—what you’ve done to hand them these things.
“Hey!” one of the spectators exclaims. “This is a real deal!”
“Whaaat!?” Flam cries. He snatches one of the certificates and scans it. “What? This is… how?”
“It’s a certificate of ownership for a page from the Book of All Stories,” you reply.
“How are there so many certificates!?” Flim exclaims. “That… it was non-reproducible!”
“Hey. Copy paste. I reproduced it.”
Flim and Flam exchange glances. “How…?” they both wheeze.
“Hey, so I own the page now!” one pony exclaims.
“Hey, so do I!” another yells.
“Me too!” a third cheers.
A fourth scratches her head. “Wow. How the heck is this supposed to work?”
“Excellent question,” you reply. “I guess, in a sense, we all have equal ownership of the page, don’t we? Make sense?”
All the ponies nod. Flim and Flam stare daggers at you now.
“Good. Now, since we’re all here, let me introduce you to a concept I call ‘The Stock Market’.”
(+1 page for Chaos)