The Critic's Disapproval
Code Word: #TheCriticDisapproves
The best that you knew was that there was a page from the Book of All Stories somewhere in Canterlot. You came and searched and ended up empty-hooved. Reality had not changed—not yet, at least. If somepony does have the page, they haven't used it yet.
And so you’ve ended up in Joe’s Donut shop. And as expected, the donuts here are delicious.
This place is exactly the splash of color that Canterlot needs. You can see a few ponies here, some drowning themselves in sweets. You’ve seen many dream-shattering nights end in this place, and it seems tonight is no exception.
That’s when she enters. Her demeanor is as pale as her coat, as expected, and yet you can see hints of a fiery disdain in her darting eyes.
Many sets of eyes look up at this unicorn mare’s entrance. Some seem surprised to see her.
Joe leans across the counter. “Zesty Gourmand?” he asks, disbelief in his voice.
Zesty Gourmand, famed food critic of Canterlot’s Restaurant Row, glances about Joe’s donut shop. She glares at a few of the ponies sitting around, all of whom look too stunned to glare back.
“So,” she coldly begins, “this is it? This is the place stealing away good patrons from places of good standard?” She snorts. “What nonsense!”
“What are you doing here?” Joe asks, trotting out from behind the counter. “This isn’t your type of place.”
“This shouldn’t be anypony’s type of place,” Zesty Gourmand counters. “And yet, all these ponies are here. Meanwhile, those restaurants that have adhered to the standards of good cuisine are empty. All of their patrons have come to places like this. Why is it that the good restaurants must risk loss of business over… this?”
“Lady,” Joe begins, “your critiques have caused several of my friends to lose valuable business. And besides… your opinions on food are bad and you oughta feel bad.”
“Absurd.” Her sharp facial features sharpen even more. “But I don’t expect you to understand. And thankfully… it is no longer necessary.”
Joe frowns. “Why is that?”
“Because,” she says as she magically pulls a sheet of paper from her cloak, “I will personally see this issue resolved.”
You jump in your seat. Zesty Gourmand has the page from the Book of All Stories! You see her preparing it within her magical grasp.
“I will be writing a review that makes it impossible for any restaurant to even exist that does not meet the minimum standard,” she declared. “I will save the culinary world.”
“No way no how!” Joe tremulously roars, now advancing. “The only way to save the culinary world would be to stop any restaurants from becoming like all the ones you’ve destroyed!”
“As if.”
Joe chuckles. “Imagine that. Now that would be an amazing use for that, wouldn’t it? I could make every restaurant exciting! And good.”
“That’s enough,” she spits back. She readies a quill and begins writing on the page. “Say goodbye.”
She begins writing in it before you can react. But it will take a moment for her to finish it and for whatever dreadful changes she wants to make to take effect. On the other hoof, Joe seems to be glaring at the page. He might very well scoop it up if she were to lose it.
No matter what happens, you feel that the entire restaurant industry is about to change.
[CHOICE]
Do you allow Zesty Gourmand to complete her “review”?
> Allow her to complete the review. (Villain)
> Tackle her, allowing Joe to take it instead. (Chaos)
[ENDING A: VILLAINS]
You stay rooted in place. In fact, when you see Joe inching further forward, you shuffle over and block his way. You aren’t going to let him get in Zesty Gourmand’s way.
And soon enough, she finishes writing her review. A sinister smile appears on her muzzle.
The world around you transforms and stretches and swirls around and then stops.
You find yourself in a dull place that, while shiny and sleek, is very muted with the few colors it has. Any hints of personality this place may have had in another life are now gone, every table in the place now looks the same and seats samey-looking ponies.
Shortly enough, a waiter approaches you. His mane is combed and gelled and his suit is spotless, but his blaise expression masks all traces of the stallion underneath.
And he motions to the closest leather-seated booth. “Your table, sir,” he says, his tone monotonous.
You take your seat. The cushioning is a little bit hard but is otherwise nothing spectacular.
This is how it should be. You feel confident that those undeserving places, like The Tasty Treat, Sugarcube Corner, and Joe’s Donut Shop will no longer pollute the realm of dining.
(+1 page for Villains)
[ENDING B: CHAOS]
You can’t let the restaurants of the world become the same bland song and dance. But there is little time. If you are to prevent that, your hand is forced.
You tackle Zesty Gourmand.
She is frail and light by nature so your tackle manages to completely down her; it disorients her so well that the page flies out of her magical grasp.
Joe bolts over and takes the page within his own unicorn magic. He gives it a look over to see what words Zesty Gourmand has put down.
“You ruffian!” Zesty Gourmand exclaims. “How dare you touch me!”
“Sorry, not sorry. I had to do something to stop you,” you reply.
“Thanks for that,” Joe says with a chuckle. “Now with this, I can change things for the better.”
You see him write a few choice lines onto the paper, likely amending Zesty Gourmand’s review-in-progress.
Shortly enough, he is done. The page vanishes. The world seems to spin for a moment. Colors move and blur together.
When your senses focus again, you examine your surroundings to find them unchanged. Zesty Gourmand is no longer in the shop, and some small percentage of the patrons have disappeared. Of course—with so many other good options to choose from now, many would be there rather than here.
You grin as Joe comes by with a confection that looks like a miniature city made of dough and icing. You’re in for a treat, as this place is going to give you something good.
A thought does linger in the back of your mind: now that every place is great, no place is truly great. But this is worth enjoying for now.
(+1 page for Chaos)