//------------------------------//
// Flim -- I'm Flim!  Not Flam! 
// Story: The Album 
// by Peregrine Caged 
//------------------------------//

Written by: FlimFlamBros.
Rated Everyone



“Well looky what we got here brother of mine, it’s the same in every town!” Smiled Flim as he jumped off of their latest contraption: The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000. “Ponies with thirsty throats, dry tongues and not a drop of cider to be found!” The sales pony smiled as he watched a small group of mares and stallions slowly start to form around, wondering what exactly all this commotion was about. “Maybe they’re not aware, that there’s really no need, for this teary despair…..”
“That the key, that they need to solve the sad cider shortage you and I will shaaaaaaaaaare!” sang his mustached brother, revealing himself on their makeshift platform that was attached to the side of their wondrous machine.
The crowd started to converse and whisper to one another with excitement. The two con artists gave each other a slick grin to another. Who needed proper business ethics when you could hypnotize a bunch of gullible ponies with a snappy song and dance number?
They both cleared their throats as they resumed singing. “WELL YOU’VE GOT OPPORTUNITY, IN THIS VERY COMMUNITY!”
“HE’S FLIM,” said Flam.
“HE’S FLAM,” said Flim.
“WE’RE THE WORLD FAMOUS FLIMFLAM BROTHERS!!” they both sung with enthusiasm. “TRAVELING SALES pony—“
“Wait, which one’s Flim?” a grey stallion from the audience shouted out. “And which one’s Flam?”
The music cut as the two brothers stopped mid dance. “Excuse me?” asked Flim.
“I’m just a little confused as to which one is Flim and which one is Flam,” said the grey pony. “You were going a little fast.”
“Yeah I agree!” shouted a pink pegasus. “We’ve just met you, how are we supposed to know who you are?”
“We just introduced ourselves!” said Flim, doing his best to keep calm. “Remember, ‘He’s Flim, He’s Flam, We’re the world famous FlimFlam Brothers’, remember that?”
“That’s what we’re asking!” a dark blue mare said,“Which one’s Flim and which one’s Flam?”
“Well I’m—“
“I think the one with the moustache is Flim!” somepony said.
“No, I think that one’s Flam!” another one said.
“Are you sure?” a third one said. “He may have been referring to himself in the third pony perspective.”
Flim shook his head with disbelief. “Who in their right mind would do something like that?”
“There was this other mare that did it!” a small filly peeped, fluttering over the heads of the taller ponies. “She was a pony that could perform magic!”
“A unicorn?” asked Flam, slowly getting more annoyed.
“Yeah, a real life unicorn!” the small filly said with eagerness, the two unicorn brothers giving each other a look, one that would say: Are you kidding me?!
“What was that mare’s name again?” a spectator from the back called. “The All Magnificent Tootsie?”
“No, I think it was The Supremely Awe-Inspiring Moxie.”
“I thought it was The Moderately Good Pixie?”
“NO WAIT!” another pony, a dark lavender mare with a jet black mane said, fixing her large glasses from falling off her face. “It was The Great and Powerful Trixie!”
The crowd started to rumble with agreement over the identity of the mystery mare they were thinking of.
“Yeah that was it!” the pegasus said happily. “These two are The Great and Powerful Trixie!”
Everyone again started to agree with what the purple pegasus had suggested, that the identity of the two unicorns were clearly The Great and Powerful Trixie.
As the whole crowd started to quiet down, they all looked at the FlimFlam Brothers. Flim’s right eye was visibly twitching, the vein at the bottom of his cornea was about to burst. “Who. The Buck. Is Trixie?” he said as calmly as possible.
“Well, you are of course!” said a pony from the crowd, a blonde, white-coated pony to be specific. “Isn’t that what you said your name was?”
“NO!” snarled Flim, doing his best to force a smile. “Let me explain to you all nice and slowly……” he took a deep breath, easing the stress in his stomach. “I’m Flim, FLIM,” he said, pointing to himself. “And that is my brother Flam, let me repeat that: F-L-A-M, Flam.” He pointed to his identical brother. “We are the FlimFlam Brothers. Does every pony understand that?” All the ponies nodded, “Good! Now, WELL YOU’VE GOT OPP—“
“WAIT!” another pony said.
Flim facehoofed. “What now?” he asked.
“If you’re Flim and he’s Flam, then who’s FlimFlam?” the pony asked, scratching his chin.
“Maybe he hasn’t come out yet!” said another pony. “When do we get to see FlimFlam?”
“Yeah, we want to see FlimFlam!” cheered a mare.
“WE WANT FLIMFLAM!! WE WANT FLIMFLAM!! WE WANT FLIMFLAM!!” the entire crowd chanted, stomping their hooves with anticipation. “WE WANT FLIMFLAM!! WE WANT FLIMFLAM!!”
“THERE IS NO FLIMFLAM!” shouted Flim, his anger silencing the crowd. The salespony was panting as he glared at his audience. “We’re the FlimFlam Brothers! I’m Flim FlimFlam, and he’s Flam FlimFlam! There is no pony named FlimFlam, okay?”
“So who are you again?”
“I’M FLIM!!!”
“No I think he’s Flam,” said another pony in the crowd.
“Yeah the one with the moustache is Flim!” a unicorn said. “I’m positive!”
“Then who is FlimFlam?”
“THERE IS NO FLIMFLAM!!”
“What?!” a colt in the masses shouted. “What did you do to FlimFlam?”
“THERE IS NO FLIMFLAM!!” roared Flim, no longer trying to hide his anger. “There never was a FlimFlam and there never will be a FlimFlam!! FlimFlam is our last name!”
There was a long loud “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH” as the crowd finally understood what Flim was saying. 
“Do you understand now?” pleaded Flim, mentally exhausted. 
“YES FLAM,” the audience said in unison, causing the moustache lacking brother to facehoof once again.
“I’m Flim! Not Flam!” he shouted.
“I thought the other one was Flim.”
“Maybe they’re both Flim...” a high pitched voice said from the back.
“OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!” gasped all the ponies in unison again with certainty.
“THAT IS IT!!” screamed Flim, stomping his hoof down as he glared down at all the ponies in the crowd. “Never in my life have I’ve ever seen a bigger group of complete morons! You ponies are by far the most idiotic, brainless, and most oblivious creatures I have ever seen! Everpony in this town is completely insane! You are all stupid and you should feel stupid!”
There was dead silence, no pony dared to make a peep. There was a small breeze that started to pick up, causing a little whistle in the wind. Only the coughs from a couple of ponies here and there that  really broke the silence, but nothing really that would defy it too much. Then, just as the tension was about to snap, a red earth pony walked up to the front of the crowd, pushing past a couple of idlers in the crowd.
He cleared his voice as he spoke up. “Hey…that wasn’t very nice Flam!”
The crowd erupted with chatter and rabble, each pony was angry and upset, and they took it all out on Flim (who they thought was Flam).
“You can’t talk to us that way!”
“Yeah Flam, don’t be so mean!”
“Why can’t you be more like your brother Flim?”
“Yeah, Flim is way better than you Flam!”
“Why don’t you make like a tree and buzz off Flam, no one wants to talk to a meanie like you!”
“GRAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!” screamed Flim as he grabbed his brother Flam and pulled themselves onto the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000 and slammed on the magical gas. “I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE! I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE!” Their mode of transport took off speeding down the road, the small town getting smaller and smaller as they got further away. “Thank the Goddess that’s over, don’t you agree, brother of mine?”
“You said it Flam!” his brother said, a big smirk on his face. 
SMACK!!
Flam went flying out the Cider machine and onto the road, hitting the ground as his brother kept driving down the road, screaming and cursing in an illiterate rant of broken words and noises.