I Got 99 Problems, But a Pipp Ain’t One
#IGot99ProblemsButAPippAintOne
You get a tip through the grapevine on one of the pages out in the middle of Bridlewood. You decide to call up the one and only Hitch Trailblazer to help find it. However, as you meet the earth pony Sheriff in the forest you realize he’s not alone. He’s accompanied by the Princess of Pop herself Pipp Petals!
“Hey, [USERNAME]!” Pipp says, sounding somehow bubblier than usual. “Hitch said I could tag along. Thought it might make for an awesome video for my ClipTrot page!”
Hitch rolls his eyes slightly, but smiles to himself. “I’m sure it won’t be that exciting, Pipp. At least, not more exciting than your last trip into the wilderness.”
“Now now, I told you I was sorry for not accidentally taking you with me through the Time Stitch Crystal to meet Hoof Work and Deep Dish,” Pipp says, laying a hoof on the earth pony’s shoulder. “Besides… we’re doing what you and Zipp normally do, right? Detective work!”
“Speaking of Zipp, I would have thought she would be here for this,” you say.
Pipp shrugs. “Mom has her doing Queen training duty stuff, you know how it is,” she says. “Now… where are we headed to?”
“The last known information I had on the page was that it was in a cave in the area,” you say. “The pony who claimed to see it couldn’t get close to it. Said she was scared of the cave itself.”
“Well there’s only a few caves in this area, it shouldn’t be too hard to find,” Hitch says. “The quicker we get done with this Book business, the better in my opinion.”
You nod, and walk side by side with the two other ponies as you begin your search. As you do, you casually notice small glances by either Hitch or Pipp in the other’s direction. A smile here, a giggle there. It’s… it’s cute actually.
After about the third cave, you find a tunnel from an upper chamber that leads down into the darkness hidden by some brambles. The tunnel opens up to a large underground cavern where in the middle is a strangely serene pool of water. Across the pond is an island and laying on top of it is a piece of glowing paper.
“Seems your source was right about the creepy factor here,” Hitch says. “But there is a page down there. Pipp, do you think you can safely get it?”
“I got it, Hitch,” Pipp says with a wink. Holding her phone out, she floats over the pond and lands on the small island. “Doesn’t seem that scary!” she calls out.
“Just get the page and get out of there,” Hitch says. “I don’t want anything bad to happen to you.”
Pipp smiles from across the cavern. “I didn’t know you cared so much, Sheriff,” she says with a grin. Before scooping up the page, she walks to the edge of the pond.
Pipp stops suddenly, glancing down at the reflective surface of the pond. From out of the ether a voice is heard whispering in the cavern.
And into her own reflection she stared
Yearning for one whose reflection she shared
And solemnly sweared not to be scared
At the prospect of being doubly mared
Pipp starts to move once more, plunging herself into the pond.
“Pipp!” Hitch says, running to the edge of the pool. “Pipp!”
Pipp suddenly bursts forth from the pool, but so does… Pipp? There are now two Pipps standing on the island. The original Pipp gasps loudly.
“Oh… MY… PONY! It’s like you’re just like me!” Pipp says, squealing.
“Oh my pony!” the other Pipp says with a happy chirp.
Hitch stares, looking confused as you step up next to him. “What… what just happened?” he asks.
You look down at the pool. Its reflective surface seems to call to you and you realize you’ve read about this place before.
“This is… this is the Mirror Pool!” you exclaim. “It’s capable of duplicating a pony over and over!”
“Pipp! You need to get out of there!” Hitch calls out. “This place is dangerous!”
“But Hitch… think of the possibilities! This could solve all of my problems of being able to make content! I just need a few more of these duplicates and I can run an entire studio by myself while simultaneously getting to relax with my friends!” Pipp exclaims.
“Content! Like and subscribe!” the other Pipp happily chirps.
“See!” Pipp shouts, turning her attention to the pool. She plunges back in and pretty soon there are over ten Pipps floating about the chamber, with more appearing out of the pool by the second.
“Oh no… this is not good, not good!” Hitch shouts before turning to you. “[USERNAME], what do we do? How do we find out which one is the real one?!”
[CHOICE]
>Convince Hitch to enjoy the Pipps and let Pipp have her dream content life (chaos)
>Convince him to save Pipp with Sunny’s help. (hero)
[ENDING A: CHAOS]
“Maybe this is a good thing,” you offer. “Pipp will have more time to give attention to you, after all.”
Hitch thinks for a moment. “You know, okay, maybe you’re right. I could get used to seeing more of her.”
“See! At least we’ve got the page, right?” you say.
Hitch nods. “Pipp! Can you hear me?”
“Yes, Hitch?” multiple Pipps say as they float over to him. “Can we help you, Sheriff?”
Hitch grins as he lets himself get carried off by multiple Pipps as another one brings the page over to you.
(+1 pages for Chaos)
[ENDING B: HERO]
“There’s only one thing to do,” you say. “We need to get Sunny here. You go get her and I’ll try to corral these Pipps away from the pool so they don’t make more.”
Hitch nods, running out to get Sunny. You spend the next few hours managing to get all of the Pipps into the upper chamber away from the pool and confined to one room before Sunny and Hitch arrive. You also manage to scoop up the page with one of the Pipp’s help.
“Oh… oh my pony,” Sunny Starscout says as she enters the chamber. “Okay, I think I read something about this in one of Twilight’s journals. There’s a spell that can return the duplicates back to the pool.”
“How do we know who the duplicates are and who the real Pipp is?” Hitch says.
“We’re going to have to do something drastic,” Sunny says. “Take away all of their phones!”
The Pipps all gasp as one as you and Hitch collect all of their phones. One Pipp in the center of it all watches Hitch with greater interest.
“In order for this to work, you’re going to have to go for what will probably be hours without checking your phone,” Sunny says, her wings and horn flaring into existence. “If you try to grab the phones, then you’re a duplicate. Only the real Pipp knows that her friends are more important than the phone.”
The next few hours are tense as Pipp after Pipp dissipates thanks to the spell. The one Pipp in the center watches nervously as more and more Pipps float off into nothingness. Eventually, only two Pipps remain.
“Wow… this is… this is insane,” you whisper to Hitch and Sunny. “They’ve been here for literally hours now and not moved a muscle.”
“How are we going to figure out which one is which?” Hitch says.
An idea floats into your head and you whisper it into Hitch’s ears. He blushes briefly but nods at you before walking out with a phone in his hooves.
“Pipp, I’m going to give you your phone back,” he says, steeling himself. “But… I want you to know something first. I… I’m in love with you. So… if you want your phone over me, I’ll understand, but I wanted you to know.”
The other Pipp suddenly cracks, diving for the phone as the spell takes effect, whisking her away, leaving the remaining Pipp from the center of the room. Tears are flowing from her eyes as she floats over to Hitch.
“Did you… did you really mean that?” she asks.
“I do,” Hitch says.
Pipp takes a deep breath and smiles, reaching up and giving Hitch a kiss on the cheek. “I… I love you too, Sheriff,” she says. “I don’t need a phone to tell me that.”
“You… you’re you!” Sunny shouts with glee, rushing in to hug both of the ponies.
“Well of course it’s me, I learned all about being able to survive without my phone during my adventure with Hoof Work and Deep Dish a while back! That was easy stuff,” Pipp says. “Besides… Now I’ve got something new to consider.”
Hitch blushes as Pipp wraps an arm around him and snuggles up to him, mouthing the words Thank you to you as you leave the three friends, page in tow, to be delivered to safety.
(+1 pages for Heroes)