“We saw what you did, Pinkie. The implications of that event have given us hope.”
The pink pony threw herself at the figure, whose image flickered gently. “I could have saved her! She was fighting it!”
“Your intervention started too late. You approached us after the motion had passed to detonate the reality bomb. The two of us who remained to observe did not have the power to stop it, but only to delay it for a short period.”
“Did you contact me only for this? To make excuses?”
“No. We called you here to give you a job opportunity. One we think you’ll jump at.”
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My previous stories were painfully dramatic. I worked in the occasional black comedy, but aside from that, they quickly got tedious. The entire point of this story was to give me a format where I could get away with doing just about anything. It gradually turned into a parody of Mary Sues, shipping, and various other groan worthy phenomena in fanfiction. I am now at a point where the real fun can begin. Sometime soon (within a month! maybe!) I’ll be posting a follow-up to this. This (might!) be the opening. It’s rough and nobody proofed it, so forgive a few typos. Comments and critiques are welcome.
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“Do you know why we destroy universes?”
“No. Why do you murder millions on a regular basis?” Pinkie asked insultingly.
“A multiverse is like a pool. There is only so much water. We destroy the worst branches to make room for growth. If we don’t, it poisons the pool.”
“So how do you decide which branches are ‘worthy’?”
“That’s not for you to know.”
“So you want me to work for you, why?”
“You did the impossible. Luna reverted. It was only for an instant, but it happened. According to our understanding of the universe, this could not have happened.”
“You want me to do it again?”
“Yes. It could save us a fortune in demolitions.”
“Where do I begin?”
A story appeared on the screen.
“My Roommate is a Vampire?”
“This is the future of branch B34-25A. You have to change it. If Vinyl bites Octavia even once, we detonate immediately. Our recommended course of action is to eliminate one or both immediately.”
“You’ll forgive me for not taking your advice. I try to keep away from murder.”
“For what it is worth, I wish you luck. You will need it.”