//------------------------------//
// 03 - Rarity's Shippening 
// Story: How to *not* Hide Your Relationship 
// by Cxcd 
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“Up!”
“Grr!”
“Down!”
“Umph!”
“Up!”
“Grah! I feel like my wings are-”
“Down!”
“Erh-”
The main loft of the Golden Oaks, the place where Twilight typically spent most of her free time studying and reading, had been hastily converted into a makeshift, very temporary and cheaply built, gymnasium. Where there would usually be a sofa, pushed close to the fireplace for nice late-night reading light, was now gone, replaced by a cheap bench press that had almost immediately broken after one of it’s legs snapped off mere moments after being unboxed.
Rainbow was hoofing it. Her wings were quivering as she forced her body up and down in wing-ups, exercise suddenly seeming like an insane idea now that she was actually doing it, and feeling the burning sensation in her wings. Twilight, on the other hoof, hadn’t even broken a sweat. Actually, she hadn’t done much excercising at all. She wore a yellow sweatband on, four pink fluffy bracelets, one around each hoof, and a puffy orange vest. She hadn’t joined Rainbow for any of the physical activities, instead taking up the role of a personal motivator.
“C’mon, one more!” Twilight shouted as she watched Rainbow’s wings quiver. Her feathers could barely push her up anymore. “C’mon, Dashie! C’mon!” She got real low to the ground, banging her hoof loudly against the floorboards. “You can do this! Think! Think about the cuddles!”
“Gah- the- the what?” Rainbow’s forehead was glistening with sweat as she raised an eyebrow.
“Or the kisses!”
“The kisses?” Rainbow stared straight ahead. “D-Do it for the kisses!” With one more, monumental, and quite frankly impressive display of force, Rainbow pushed the last few inches out until she reached the apex of her wing-up. For one, glorious moment, she looked proud and tall, happy and as determined as a mare doing a wing-up could possibly be.
Then, she crashed onto the ground.
“Umph!” She hit the ground, her wings completely exhausted of any and all energy. Twilight, without missing a beat, slid into position as she laid down next to rainbow, pushing her side against hers, and wrapping a hoof around her neck, pulling her in close.
“Mwah! Mwah! Mwah!” She begun assaulting Rainbow with the mother of all kisses, going from the neck up to the cheek, working her way upwards, until she was smooching Rainbow’s muzzle. Rainbow shook her head, memories of her mother doing the exact same thing as a filly popping up in her brain. Needless to say, she did not want to associate her mare-friend with her mother.
“Ew, Twi, no!” She pushed Twilight away with as much force as she could muster, which unfortunately looked halfhearted and tired. “Ew…” She wiped her face, a mixture of sweat and Twilight’s spit coming off. “When you said kisses, I thought they’d be more personal than that!”
“Oh, sorry…” Twilight smiled, sliding around on the floor until she was facing Rainbow, face to face. “How’s this?”
Then, she went in for a real, passionate kiss. They interlocked lips, and Rainbow found herself temporarily stunned at the dominant display. But it only took a few moments until she herself closed her eyes, simply just enjoying the feeling. The pain in her wings almost completely vanished as she felt her lips on hers, her world becoming nothing more than bright, mental fireworks.
Then, as quickly as it had come, Twilight broke it.
“Woah…”
“Ugh-” Twilight wiped her own lips with a disgusted frown. “Your lip tastes like sweat!” She opened and closed her mouth, trying her hardest to get rid of the salty taste.
“Oh- uh-” Rainbow bounced up. Although she had just went through what Twilight might’ve described as torture, her legs didn’t feel any worse for wear, even if her wings hung limply against her body, as they were too sore to fold. “You can wash down that taste with these apples I bought!” She said, scooping up two delectable apples from a nearby shelf. “Or- I got them for free. Applejack was feeling nice.”
“Nice!” Twilight bounded over, a smile on her face. “I didn’t even realize you had them!”
“Yeah, I know.” Rainbow smiled, sitting down and holding one apple in each hoof. “I can be pretty sneaky when I want to be.” She looked down. On one of the apples, she spotted a small, but noticeable, brown mark. The apple had turned rotten on that one area, and although the rest of the apple looked crisp, it was enough to ruin the experience.
“May I please have one, Rainbow?” Twilight asked, sitting down opposite of her on the floor a few feet away. Rainbow’s eyes flickered up to Twilight for a moment.
“Uh- yeah, sure.” With no hesitation, she held out the better apple to Twilight. Twilight lifted it up in her magic and took a big bite out of it. “Yeah, with you around, I don’t think I’ll have to worry about gaining weight anytime soon.” Rainbow took a bite of her own apple, trying her best to avoid the brown spot. “With you by my side, I mean-” She exhaled, shaking her head. “That was intense, Twilight, good job!”
“I tried to be…” Twilight took another bite and pulled the sweatband off of her head. “I’m sorry I didn’t try and exercise with you. I was too focused on making sure you were exercising that I didn’t think-”
“Don’t even.” Rainbow playfully rolled her eyes. “You were great, Twi.”
“Aw…” She smiled bashfully, holding the apple closer to her chest. “No, Rainbow, you were great!”
“No, you were great!”
“No, you were-”
“For the love of Celestia, just stop!” Twilight and Rainbow both jumped, snapping their heads up and towards the balcony overlooking the loft, where Twilight’s bed was. A small purple dragon was peering his head through the slits in between the rails. “I didn’t think either of you were the lovey-dovey type! This is making me sick…” Spike made a gagging expression. “I thought you two would’ve gotten over the honeymoon phase months ago!”
“It’s just love, Spike.” Twilight rolled her eyes, perfectly mimicking the exact same way Rainbow did it ten seconds ago. “Besides, you do the exact same thing with Rarity.”
“I do not!” Spike pouted, pulling his head away from the railing. “I’m cool about it! I keep my cool! I don’t… smother Rarity with kisses, unlike some ponies here…”
“You would too, Spike.” Rainbow smirked, smiling slyly at Twilight. “...if you ever got the chance to.”
“Not cool!” Was the far away response as he presumably went back to his bed to finish reading his comics. “Not. Cool!” Twilight and Rainbow responded by giggling like school fillies.







Rarity tried her hardest to not choke on her tea. She really did. But, unfortunately, times call, and it was inevitable. The tea slipped to the back of her throat, her eyes bulging as she began shaking violently in coughs.
“Ya’ okay, Rares?” Applejack asked. “Ah’ know it’s big news, and all, but-” She watched with concern. Applejack and Rarity were sitting in the upstairs loft of the Carousel Boutique. Rarity had just poured some tea for the both of them, mainly for herself due to Applejack not caring too much for tea. They both sat, facing each other on opposite seats with a small coffee table full of tea-making amenities, like kettles and bags.
“P-Pardon me, dear.” She croaked out, barely keeping her voice stable as she somewhat violently set down her cup of tea on the table. “B-But I-I can’t help but t-thought you said- um, said that two of our best friends were, um, together?” She tapped both of her hooves together. “R-Romantically?”
“Yup. That’s what ah’ said.” Applejack confirmed with a nod. Honestly, Applejack, looking back at this situation, should’ve seen what was coming. One moment, Rarity was there, sitting on the chair with a blank, tea-ridden face. The next, she exploded out of her chair, leaving behind nothing more than a white and purple blur. Before Applejack could even think as to what had just happened, she returned quicker than a Sonic-Rainboom, right back in her chair like she hadn’t even left. Wind almost blew Applejack’s stetson off as the laws of physics still applied to the world around Rarity, if not Rarity herself.
“Um… Rares, what’s that?” Applejack asked cautiously. She had around ten or so different scrolls, all about the width of a pony, clutched within her forelegs. Her mane was wild and messy, very much unlike Rarity.
“Designs, darling!” She sang. Using her magic, she levitated the table upwards. Applejack yelped in surprise as she tilted the table to the side, letting everything smash onto the ground and begin the process of staining the pristine white carpet a nasty brown. Rarity didn’t seem to mind, however, too preoccupied withthe scrolls she chucked onto the now empty table, letting her magic disperse and letting the table fall the last food with a clunk.
“What in the hay’re you doin’?” Applejack adjusted her stetson, fear slowly bubbling as memories of her being forced to stay still came to the front of her mind as Rarity worked on an exquisite dress.
“Like I said, dear Applejack.” Rarity was now breathing heavily, levitating the table exerting herself much more than she had thought it would. “Designs.” Applejack could faintly make out little name tags scrawled onto the scrolls.
“ApplePie?” She read aloud. “FlutterDash, Twarity, TwiDash, RariJack, Rarity, what in Sam's hill is this?”
“Back when we first met,” Rarity begun arranging the multitude of designs in alphabetical order. “I made the prediction that two of us, I didn’t know which ones, would get together. I knew this day was coming for a long, long time, dear Applejack.”
Applejack looked down in appalled horror as the pieces began forming in her head.
“So I took to the parchment! I had begun designing dresses based on one another’s matching colors.” Rarity used her magic to levitate up and uncurl the one titled RariJack. “Just in case, dear.” Indeed, on the drawing was a basic and rudimentary color sketch of both Applejack and Rarity. Rarity had her head pushed against Applejack’s chest, both of them smiling dearly for an imaginary camera. To her credit, both dresses matched very well.
“Aw, EW!” Applejack shivered, shielding her eyes from the design. “Rares, that’s disgusting!”
“You… don’t like it?” The drawing fell a few inches to reveal Rarity’s face, her bottom lip barely quivering.
“No! Ah-Ah’ mean, it looks great, but…” Applejack lowered her hoof, barely managing to make eye contact with Rarity, and trying desperately to not look at the drawing. “Did’ja really have to pair us up?”
“It’s always in a fashionista’s best interests to be prepared, Applejack!” Rarity tisked. “Besides, I don’t see the problem in a little harmless pairing every once in a while. You cannot tell me you’ve never had the thought of what would happen if two of our friends got together, can you?”
“Yes, ah’ can tell ya’ that.” Applejack dead panned, leaning forwards. “Because ah’m not cray-cray! Actually, yeah! No sane pony would pair up their friends!”
“Fluttershy would disagree.” Rarity huffed, frowning and putting down RariJack and picking up the one titled FlutterDash. “She actually helped on this one.” Once again, she unrolled the parchment, unveiling Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash. Rainbow was laying on the ground, with Fluttershy standing over top of her, not too dissimilar to the way a cat would act, rubbing against anything they could find. Applejack gawked, a faint blush appearing on her cheeks.
“Fluttershy knows, too?!” Applejack’s eye twitched. “And she paired herself?”
“Yes.” Rarity said like it was the most mundane thing in the world. “But that’s enough chit-chat. Tell me, now preferably, Applejack.” She carefully curled FlutterDash back up and placed it in with the rest of the pile. “Who in our group is hooking up with who?”
“Ah’ don’t know.”
…
“You… I… What?” Rarity leaned back and blinked, shaking her head. “You… don’t know?” She took a deep break. “Was this some kind of prank, dear Applejack? Because I didn’t think it was very funny.”
“No, Rares, it’s not.” Applejack sighed, taking off her stetson as she begun preparing to tell her story. “Ya see, ah’ went up to go an’ find Applebloom…” Applejack fiddled with her stetson as she described the events leaving up to the reveal. While telling the story, although she was pretty sure Rarity wasn’t in on it, she still kept a careful eye on Rarity’s expression. Fortunately, Rarity shifted through different expressions of fascination and intrigue.
“So, ah’ came straight here.” She plopped her stetson back onto her head. “So… ah’ don’t suppose it’s you, then?”
“Oh, heavens, no!” Rarity giggled like a filly. “Two of our friends? Dating? A-ha! Leaves so much to the imagination, dear Applejack!” Rarity tapped her chin. “Hmm… which two would you think would pair up, Applejack?” Rarity met her eyes. “Which two would go to your orchid to have a secret kissing session?”
Applejack looked away from Rarity, biting her lips in thought. She scrunched her eyebrows as she searched her thoughts. “Well…Twilight don’t really come down unless she wants’ta help… Pinkie helps cook every once’in a while, and…” She gasped, clicking her tongue. “Oh! Oh!”
“Who? Who?” Rarity shifted in her seat like an over excited student.
“Rainbow Dash!” She almost shouted. “It has’ta be! She’s been actin’ so weird recently! She hadn’t asked me to a hoof-wrasslin’ match in the past three months, and she barely talks about the Wonderbolts no more! It has’ta be her!”
“Huh!” Rarity smiled. “Yes, I have noticed Rainbow being off, too.” She nodded in agreement, swiping off almost two thirds of the drawings, the only ones remaining being FlutterDash, RainbowPie, and TwiDash. “Well, we can start with the most unlikely of these ones, of course…” Rarity used her magic to pluck the one titled TwiDash.
“Yeah, ah’ jus’ don’t see Twilight datin’ nopony. She’s a loner, that’s fer sure.” She shivered. “She especially wouldn’t date Dash. Them two don’t mix well together.”
“I agree.” Rarity nodded, chucking it into the pile with the rest of the pairing drawings. “So. We have Pinkie and Fluttershy left…” Rarity cocked her head to the side as she read over the names a few more times. “Well… this one’s quite a hard call! On one hoof, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash have been friends since foal-hood. A story as old as time, falling for your foal-hood friend. But… Fluttershy’s too timid for a relationship, and I doubt Rainbow would want to confess her feelings to anypony.”
“So… Pinkie Pie?” Applejack asked. Rarity levitated up the very last scroll titled RainbowPie. “Ah…could see it. Maybe Pinkie would’ve let her crush slip, maybe? And them’ two hang out more than any of us do, so…” Applejack confidentially nodded. “Alright. Ah’ can see it.” Applejack watched as Rarity unfolded the design, flattening it out on the now empty table. “What’cha doin’, Rares?” Rarity levitated over a few loose pencils and erasers from a nearby junk drawer.
“Getting their dresses ready, of course!” Rarity hummed, beginning to mark up the drawing. “It’s only a sketch. I never thought the day would come when I would have to actually make the measurements!”
“Well, now, wait jus’ a moment, Rarity!” Applejack quickly said. Rarity was already putting on her glasses, now tilting them down to take a cursory patient glance at Applejack. “Well- what if we’re wrong, and it’s somepony else? Ya’ll’d feel pretty silly fer’ makin’ a dress fer’ the wrong couple, tell you w’hat.”
“Hum.” Rarity looked down at the drawing. “Yes. Perhaps you have a point there, dear Applejack.” She rolled up the drawing once more, this time wrapping it in a pretty pink bow for safe keeping. “Perhaps we should go out into the field. Get some research.”
“Research?” Applejack asked. “Why not jus’ go n’ ask them?”
“Are you serious?” She gasped. “We could never just… go up to a couple! Especially if they’re trying to hide their relationship! After all, they feel the need to hide in the back corner of Sweet Apple Acres, I don’t suppose they’d just… willy-nilly go out and frolic with the general public.”
“So they’d be hiding it?” Applejack asked. “How would we even go’n confirm our suspicion?”
“Well… Rainbow’s too quick to keep up with.” Rarity hummed. “We would have to watch Pinkie until she meets Rainbow. Then- then, when they’re alone, we can confirm whether or not they’re dating.” Rarity smiled broadly. “They’ll be sneaky! They’ll be hidden! But it’ll be no match for moi!”
“Yeah, sure, Rares.” Applejack stood up, stretching like a cat. “Sounds like a plan! Let’s go catch a Pinkie.”