//------------------------------// // Ch 17. It's Gonna be One of Those Days // Story: Shouldn't Be // by Lumadous //------------------------------// It was only a short flight back to Ponyville, but with the amount of guards who were moving not only themselves but all of their gear and personal effects, it took many hours to get the slow moving convoy started. By the time we had started moving towards home, the sun had already set and the Crusaders were snoring in a pile of hooves and blankets in the back of the carriage that was assigned to us. Sasha, who was driving our carriage, had insisted that we move out of the palace as soon as possible, going as so far to risk the anger of his wife. Lucky for us, the families of the Lunar Guards were following in the weeks to come in their own, much smaller, convoy. Sasha had explained to me earlier that the majority of the Guards, both Lunar and Solar, were single, a soldier married before he was a Sergeant of an Officer was almost unheard of, their duties just kept them too busy to do more than work. Looking around the spartan interior of the carriage I looked over the odd, brightly colored ponies. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy were talking in hushed tones on the opposite side, Fluttershy was of course blushing about something. Twilight and Rarity were absorbed in a thick tome that had the faded picture of a dress on the front, they were discussing something excitedly in quiet tones, aware of the sleeping fillies that were between them and Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash. Applejack was vainly attempting to keep Pinkie Pie occupied by playing an obscenely complicated board game that had more moving parts and pieces that could have ever fit into the box. The saddest part, the lid of the box exclaimed it to be the ‘Travel Version’. “YAY, your mov—” Pinkie Pie exclaimed before Applejack’s hoof flew into her mouth with blindingly fast speed, silencing her before she woke up the Crusaders. “Ah know Pinkie, no reason to shout it!” whispered Applejack to a now blushing Pinkie Pie. “Merperfff-ul” she sputtered around Applejack’s hoof. I smiled, looking over to the sleeping fillies, from the way they were snoring it was apparent that the only thing on Earth that could even make them stir in their slumber was Pinkie’s infamous cannon. And even then, the gentle rocking of the carriage would put them right back to sleep. Turning my back to the interior of the carriage I leaned out of the window, looking up and thanking Luna to think of putting a beautiful aurora in night sky, brightening the world with its greenish-purple swirls. It cast enough light that I could plainly see most the Lunar Guards and the carriage they either rode or pulled. Sasha himself was outlined against the night sky, giving an eerie illusion that a fearsome black statue was driving our carriage. As if he could hear my thoughts, he spoke up, “Only about 3 more hours my friend, ve are makin’ good progress in this light.” “Good! Any problems?” I asked. “Only complaints about having to leave the prank cart behind!” he said with a chuckle, “And I do also vant to see the look on their faces as they find the booby-traps!” “What did you do?” “Nothing, nothing at all.” he quickly answered. “Sasha.” I started. “Shhh. You don’t want to disturb the driver, that old Comrade Hammer drives like a senior citizen.” he said, his teeth flashing in the light as he gave me a large cheesy grin. “Crazy ass ponies.” I muttered darkly as I settled back into the carriage, noticing that Pinkie Pie now had a few strips of duct tape rolled around her mouth. She still looked happy as could be and was bouncing slightly in her seat, bobbing back and forth excitedly. “That was quick.” I commented dryly. “She bit me!” said Applejack, pointing at her accusingly. “Bufh you tasteph goopth” Pinkie said through the duct tape. “Just ‘cause you keep sayin’ that don’ mean it’s right to go chompin’ on my cloppers!” she replied angrily. The carriage grew instantly quiet as everyone, myself included, attempted to not laugh. Applejack, noticing this, looked at each of us and asked, “What? What in tarnation is so funny?” "Oh Applejack, don't worry, I will explain it when you’re older." Rarity said between fits of barely contained laughter. “Ah’m almost a year older than you...” Applejack said dryly, still confused. “Oh dear, perhaps you should borrow some books from Twilight then.” Twilight squeaked, hiding herself behind her book, even going so far as to draw up her rear hoofs so that they were also partially hidden. “Twi? What is she tal—” “Nothing!” Twilight quickly interrupted, “The library has more than just the books that I obtained.” “Now wha...” Applejack paused as realization dawned on her face, before continuing with a quiet, “Oh.” The carriage was filled with laughter as we continued our slow journey through a picturesque night sky. We arrived at Ponyville just as the sun peaked over the horizon. Every pony that was in my carriage had fallen asleep at various points during the journey, leaving me alone. I couldn’t get any sleep, the thoughts in my head were just, too excited. The last couple of weeks just kept flooding through my head. I would have paced around in the carriage if it wasn't too small to do so, and I also didn’t want to disturb Applejack, who was using my lap as a pillow. Now if only I could keep her from drooling in her sleep. The convoy eventually settled down in one of Applejack’s empty fields, trampling the soil back down, Big Mac was bound to be disappointed when he saw his tilled field in the morning. Carefully moving her head off my lap and replacing it with a pillow, I slipped out into the early morning light. Pausing at the doorway, I looked back and saw her frowning as she prodded the pillow in her sleep, obviously not happy with my replacement. “Everything okay?” asked Sasha as he stretched near the front of the simple looking carriage. “Yeah, just wishin I didn’t have to leave. But anyways, what needs to happen?” “Not much for you to do, ve just need to set up camp and find a good spot for us to build a barracks and until then, ve vill just set up our own little hobo village.” “Is Luna gonna like sleepin’ in a tent for however many months it takes for a house to be built for her?” “No, but I vas hoping she could stay vith you and the Apples.” “Um, that might be an issue, I don’t think that they have anymore rooms in their house.” “An’ vould it be vise to assume that your fiancée vould protest to the sharing of the bed with the princess?” “Very.” I said dryly, walking past him towards Luna’s chariot. “Ha, I’m sure it vill vork out, it alvays seems to.” “Excuse me if I don’t share your faith, I prefer to solve my issues directly.” “I’ve noticed, and that is vhy I trust that I von’t be needed!” Sasha said, chuckling. “Why is thou not needed?” asked Luna, appearing in a relaxed pose on the top a carriage that we were passing, startling the both of us. “Oh, Luna! We were just discussin’ the housin’ situation, I would invite you to stay with the Apples, but it’s not my place to invite nor do they have the extra rooms for the recent additions to their family.” “Oh, did Sasha forget to mention that we hath the magic for such an occasion?” “Yes, silly me, I must be getting that damnable old man disease.” he said with a cheeky grin. Damn sly old fart. “Anyways, what is this spell Luna?” “This.” she merely said as she knocked on the roof of the carriage that she was on. The door burst open, barely missing Sasha and me, and three white ponies wearing old faded blue coveralls fell out in a heap. All three of them were identical other than their size, the earth pony dwarfing both of his brothers, the unicorn who was almost half his size, and the the pegasus who was only a little bigger than Rainbow Dash. “Why hello there good sir, how may I be of service?” asked the unicorn, the first to recover from the spill, in a quick, slightly raspy voice. “Not sure how, but you can start by tellin’ me your names.” I said, helping the pegasus to his feet while Sasha helped the truly massive earth pony to his. “Well certainly my good sir, I am Square, my brother here—” “Is old enough to say his own name,” said the pegasus abruptly, floating with his rear hoofs a few feet off the ground. “An’ my names Flush.” “Level.” said the earth pony with a surprisingly sweet voice despite his massive size. “And together we are the fastest, and bestest constuctorers in all of Equestria! We’re the Carpenter’s Triplets!” said Square excitedly, nodding his head causing his rust colored mane to go everywhere. “Anything you want built, we can do it! Anywhere you need it, we can build there! And we will do it in time for suppah!” bragged Flush. “I design, they build, you enjoy your new building, simple yes?” asked Level. Turning to Luna, who looked like she was trying hard not to laugh at the brothers, she merely nodded at my confused look before adding. “They are not lying, they have impressed on several occasions in the past, and we art sure that they will perform miracles here.” “Then the issue is where will they build.” “There better be a good reason for all this.” Came a southern drawl from the trees bordering the woods. “Huzzah, the stallion we need has arrived!” announced Luna, standing up suddenly. “Eeyup” Big Mac said as he stepped into the clearing, a couple of bags of seed in a cart he was pulling. “Come, we must discuss the business!” She said leading him away. A guard trotted up to us, stopping a few paces away and gave a sharp salute and exclaimed, “Sir!” I hesitated for a moment before snapping a return along with Sasha, and motioned for the soldier to relax when he went to the position of attention. “Vhat can ve help you vith Corporal?” “A Miss Applejack has awoken and is looking for Captain Castle, sir!” “Relax, I ain’t gonna be a hardass on the little things, I want my troops to be able to come to me at all times, no matter how small the issue.” “Well sir...” “Well Corporal...” “We’ve been traveling all night, and have worked the entire day before, the other ponies are tired and hungry...” “Good point, as soon as all the guards and carriages are accounted for, break out double rations for all the guards and set up a sleep shift system, I want two ponies per carriage awake and guarding it. Also I want the shifts short and fair.” “Yes Sir! And thank you sir!” He said as he trotted off with the good news. “You’re one funny looking creature, but at least you are a natural leader.” Sasha said with another chuckle. “Good to see I amuse you.” Applejack met us about halfway back to the carriage, there were circles under her eyes but it was obvious that she was happy to be back home in Ponyville, the smile on her face would have made Pinkie proud. “Mornin’ hun.” “Mornin’ Sugercube.” She said as she leaned against my leg. “But why didn’t you wake me up?” “You were just too cute to wake up, and you needed your sleep.” She was blushing and was about to respond when Big Mac and Luna came from between two carriages, Big Mac still pulling that little cart of his, but the seeds were now sharing their space with several unmarked bags. “Welcome back Big Mac.” I said needlessly as Applejack flew to his side, giving him a hug hard enough that I think that I heard bones cracking. “I welcome thee neighbor.” Boomed Luna “Neighbor?” Asked Applejack, still clinging to Big Mac’s neck as his face started turning blue. “Why yes, we just purchased this field. Though we will have the honor of renting a room in your main house until a proper abode is constructed for us here.” “Applejack!” Wheezed Mac. Releasing her brother suddenly after looking at his face, she apologized, “Sorry brother, but Prin-” “Luna” She interrupted. “Luna,” Applejack continued, “We don’t even have a room for Scootaloo without somepony having to move into the barn.” “Don’t you worry about that, my big brothers are fixing that!” Squeaked a little filly from behind Sasha. “Your brothers?” asked Applejack, looking around for more hidden little ponies. “There you are! Didn’t we tell you to not run off again?” Said Square running up to the group and scooping the little white unicorn filly up with his magic. “Yes! But that’s why I walked!” She said, running in the air attempting to reach the ground, but only succeeding in flipping herself upside down, causing her bright blue mane to almost drag in the dirt. Flush, zipping out of the gradually brightening sky, landed next to the trapped and floating unicorn with an angry look on his face. “There you are! You’re in trouble now young missy.” He said, smiling slightly as he poked her, causing her to slowly do flips in the air. The young filly merely crossed her fore hooves and glared at him. Being suddenly rammed from the air I was catapulted by a monstrously huge white streak. Falling back to the ground I was caught by Luna’s magic just before I slammed into the ground. “There you are!” Yelled Level as he hugged the wide-eyed filly, ignoring the looks from all the other ponies. “I can’t believe that I lost you, Fortune!” Level was rocking Fortune fast enough that it looked like he was going to make her motion sick, but she managed to maintain the same annoyed look anyways. “Not in front of the clients please.” She protested, “I was just about to start quoting them on the costs for the additions on the Apple house, and to see exactly what they wanted!” Luna, lowering me onto the ground, was having issues not laughing at the scene before her as all of us looked on in confusion. Pushing her way out of her brothers arms she settled on the ground in front on Applejack, pulling a small notepad and a carpenters pencil from somewhere. “So what additions do you want to your house?” “Umm, excuse me?” “Oh, did I forget to mention that ‘widdle cutey putey Fortune’ here takes care of the paperwork and the maths?” asked Flush. “Are you sure about that, she looks younger than the Crusaders. Not doubting her or anything, it just seems unlikely.” I said, dusting myself off. “Looky here Mr. I am a mathematical virti.... virtai.” “Virtuoso” Interjected Level quietly. “Yeah, that. I can do math better than my three brothers and because I’m ‘too small’” She sneered, “They won’t let me help them build!” “But it’s for your safety!” Cried Level as he scooped her up again. “Not. In. Front. Of. The. Customers!” She said as she struggled to get out of the massive earth ponies iron grasp. “But you’re so cute when you’re angry” Protested Flush as he ruffled her mane. “Un-hoof me you foul heathen, I’ll make you rue this day! Rue IT!” She yelled, struggling harder. “D’aww, she’s blushing now.” Teased Square as he pinched her cheeks, making baby noises. The little family was ignoring us at this point, Luna had lost all self control and was laughing uncontrollably along with Sasha. Big Mac and Applejack looked like they were lost in a shared memory, possibly of their own parents. And all I could do was cover my face with my hand to prevent myself from laughing at the poor little filly as well. “A thousand ants in your potato salad!” She screamed at them, thrashing back and forth trying in vain to break her brothers grasp. “Maybe we can get the Crusaders to show her around town?” I suggested, attempting to save her from her brothers. “Yeah! Maybe we can get our tour-guide Cutie Marks!” Squeaked Sweetie Belle as she hung out the window of the carriage next to us. “Or our foal-sitter marks!” Hollered Apple Bloom as she popping up next to her friend. “And maybe we can recruit another Crusader!” Yelled Scootaloo, as she squeezed in between her two friends. “FOAL-SITTER!” Cried Fortune in agony, “I don’t need a foal-sitter!” “That is perfect!” Exclaimed Level, holding Fortune at arms length in front of him, she resumed her crossed hooves stare down position. “And maybe you can make new friends in town!” Added Square. “Or at least scrounge up more business for us!” Flush said, only to be glared at by all three of his siblings. “What, it was just a suggestion.” He added meekly. “Anyways, we can discuss business later, right now our priority should be breakfast.” “OOH, FOOD!” The brothers yelled, running off towards the Apple house, leaving a large cloud of dust trailing behind them. “What the hell did I get into” I mumbled to myself as I followed them. Today is shaping up to be an interesting day.