//------------------------------// // The Chapter Where Nothing Happens // Story: Ultimate Battle of Ultimate Pony Destiny // by Haku1013 //------------------------------// Rainbow Dash and Trixie trotted along the path towards Ponyville, Rainbow leaning on Trixie to keep off one of her hooves. Rorschach walked calmly behind the two, having decided to leave the house before he hurt either Banner or Deadpool, or possibly even both. Trixie had been the one to decide to take Rainbow away to the hospital, even though Rainbow kept saying that everything was OK. "Ugh! I don't need to go to the Hospital! I'm feeling a lot better," Rainbow said, flapping her wings to show. Rainbow only cringed in the very visible effort it took to just flap her wings. "Trixie doesn't care what the multi-colored one thinks, Twilight says you need to get checked out. So calm down, if anything, you'll be in there just be in there only for a minutes," Trixie told Rainbow Dash, who only let out a scoff. "Since when does the oh so Great and Powerful Trixie listen to anyone but herself?" Rorschach let out a small cough to acknowledge he was still there. "Oh yeah, listens to herself and Rorschach, I mean." Trixie scoffed at Rainbow's statement. "Twilight says that Trixie needs to work on her listening skills, so Trixie has," she explained. "Doing a bit better, but keep working on it," Rorschach said in his usual not caring tone. Rainbow perked up as an idea lit up in her head. “Hey, speaking of Twilight, I’ve noticed you two spending a lot more time together. Anything about you two that you wanna tell us about?” Rainbow asked Trixie with a sly smirk, the latter began blushing immensely. “W-what?! Who told you that? Twilight said she wouldn’t say anything!” Trixie stammered as she spoke, “Uh, I mean, um, Trixie means that no, there is nothing going on between Trixie and Sparkle.” Rainbow let out a loud laugh as Trixie glared at her with a deep blush on her face. "Actually been wondering about that," Rorschach said, both Rainbow and Trixie pausing to turn and look at the human. “You two have been keeping me up at night.” Rorschach passed both of them up, letting out small chuckle, which only made Rainbow laugh louder. Trixie responded stepping away from Rainbow to let her drop to the floor. Rainbow grunt of pain was all it took to let Trixie smile for once. “Oh haha, laugh at the one who got attacked by a manticore,” Rainbow said when she finally managed to pick herself up, though it was only through Trixie using her magic to pick the pegasus off the ground. “Well if you say so,” Trixie replied as she let out another laugh, a plan forming in her devious mind... ----- At the Ponyville Hospital, a receptionist flipped a page of her magazine, happy that there wasn’t any activity this night, despite what people were saying; another human appearing from the sky in a weird ship. Ha, as if anypony was stupid enough to believe that! A loud thud brought the receptionist out of her mind. Putting down her reading material, she peered down on the ground and stifled a gasp when she saw Rainbow Dash tied and gagged. The anger in the pegasus’ eyes didn’t do much to quiet the receptionist’s tired sigh. With a press of a button, the reception spoke into a microphone. “Dr. Hooves, Rainbow Dash is here... again.” MEANWHILE BACK AT FLUTTERSHY'S COTTAGE "And so, Hulk's ship detected Deadpool's transmission and in no time the two were together, much to the Hulk's displeasure," Banner explained to the ponies how Hulk and Deadpool met. "However, the only way for Hulk to get to Deadpool was to fly through a wormhole to get to the transmission. Once through, Hulk discovered that-" "That Mr. Pool had a bounty the size of Canterlot castle on his head?" Twilight interrupted Banner’s story. Banner gave a chuckle. "Yeah, you could say something like that." "Um, excuse me," Fluttershy said, "but um, what could Mr. Pool do that would get such a large bounty on his head?" Banner opened the front door and peered out to find Deadpool, who had by this time stopped running around and had started playing Tic Tac Toe with Pinkie Pie. "You know, I'm not sure, but knowing him, it was probably bad for whoever in charge at the time. Anyways-" “Let’s just say that the galaxies Emperor wasn't too happy when I took his ‘Ultimate Weapon’ out for a spin, or when I used it to free a planet of furry dog people,” Deadpool said while sticking his head through the front door. He left just as quickly as he appeared. “Oh! Tic Tac Toe, I win! That makes the score 1 to 49. Look out Pinkie, 49 more wins and I win the match.” Banner ignored Deadpool, shutting the open door, and continued. “Anyways, apparently helping Deadpool escape made Hulk guilty by association. Next thing we know, we’re being chased down by some Bounty Hunter through the entire galaxy. “Hulk thought if we made it by to our own planetary orbit that we would be well protected and we could forget about this whole thing, but apparently the wormhole closed up after we went through the first time. Luckily, we were able to find another one, which led us to this part of the universe. And well, you know the rest.” “Oh my, that all sounds scary,” Fluttershy said. Twilight nodded in agreement. Her eyes widened as she realized something, clapping her hooves. “Oh, I can’t wait to share all of today’s events with the Princess! She’ll probably want to come check on everything as soon as possible! I need to get back to the library.” Banner raised an eyebrow in thought. “Oh, so you have a princess, huh? So I guess that means you have a Monarchy. Well, if I’m going to be meeting royalty, I think I might need a new pair of clothes.” Banner motioned to his shirtless body. “I win!” Pinkie shouted from outside. With her solid victory, Pinkie returned to the cottage, Deadpool being seen laying on his stomach in shame in the quick moment that the door was open. “And if it’s clothes you need, why not go to Rarity?” She asked as Deadpool entered the cottage a moment later, still obviously sulking. “Hey, yeah, Rarity has been wanting some new designs for her Human Fashion lines,” Twilight started, “She might have have something for you if you need anything? We can go see if she has anything tomorrow morning, how about that?” “Sure, why not? Talking Ponies are ones thing, but Talking Fashionista Ponies? As if this planet couldn't get any weirder. Well, might as get some rest. Do you have any spare rooms that I could possibly use Ms... um, I’m sorry, but I don’t think I caught any of your names yet,” Banner chuckled. “How silly of me.” “Oh yes, I’m Twilight Sparkle, librarian of Ponyville and personal student to Princess Celestia,” Twilight introduced herself. “This is Fluttershy,” she said as Fluttershy tried to hide behind her own mane. “And I’m Pinkie Pie!” Pinkie shouted as she appeared above Banner. “The Partiest Pony in all of Equestria! And once we get everyone together, we’re going to have to get you not just a ‘Welcome to Ponyville Party,’ but an entire ‘Welcome to Our Planet Party’! Oh it’ll be so much fun!” Banner looked to Twilight for an answer, who merely shrugged. “It’s only Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie. You’ll get use to her.” “Ah, yes, well if I can do that with Deadpool, then I guess I can do the same with, um, Pinkie Pie,” Banner said. “Now back to my question, do you have any spare rooms that Deadpool and I can stay in, Ms. Fluttershy?” “Oh, I’m so sorry, but no, I don’t. A family of squirrels are taking up the only guest room at the moment. I’m sorry.” Fluttershy said quietly. Banner waved her off. “Nah, it’s fine. What about you Twilight, do you have any spare rooms?” Twilight smiled and nodded. “Sure, I have a spare room. Here, I’ll lead the way. You ok staying alone, Fluttershy?” Twilight asked her friend, afraid that the day’s event had possibly scared the shy pony. “Oh yes, thank you for asking Twilight, but I’m sure that I can handle myself. We’re still going to check up with Rainbow tomorrow, right? If anything at all, I’ll be very worried about her,” Fluttershy said. “Sure, we’ll all meet up tomorrow at the hospital. I guess I’ll have to be the one who explains what happened to Applejack and Rarity.” With that said, Twilight and Banner left the small cottage for the library, Pinkie and Deadpool going along for ride, since Pinkie had agreed to Deadpool staying with her at Sugarcube Corner. Fluttershy stayed at her doorway, watching the ponies leave her home as she waved them goodbye. Once they all had left her line of sight, she went walked towards the back of her home, intent on feeding her animals their dinners. Unbeknownst to Fluttershy, however, a pair of eyes watched her through her window. A pair of cold metallic eyes. MEANWHILE AT THE LIBRARY “Spike? Are you here?” Twilight yelled as she walked into the library, a hesitant Banner behind her. Banner gave the library a once over, the number of books not really impressing him. A voice coming from a flight of stairs caught Banners attention. A dragon walking half way down them was something he hadn’t expected to see. “Oh, hey Twilight. Where’ve you been all day?” The dragon said with a yawn, obviously having been disturbed during sleep. Twilight walked to the dragon and gave a playful nudge. “Just out. Is the guest room still set up for any unsuspected visitors, Spike?” Spike nodded his head. “Yeah, why?” “Because of me,” Banner said as he introduced himself. The dragon’s eyes went wide for a second before returning to their normal sleepy stage. “Oh,cool, another human? Are you a superhero like Roshak?” Spike asked. “Spike, it’s not nice to assume the Dr. Banner is like Rorschach,” Twilight said, correcting the dragon’s pronunciation. “but yes, from what I’ve heard, Dr. Banner is indeed a ‘superhero,’ as you put it. Am I correct, Dr. Banner?” Banner shrugged. “Yes and no. Hulk just does what he wants. Although he has protected the weak before, so there’s that.” Twilight smiled. “Oh, I can’t wait to tell Princess Celestia about this. Spike, prepare to take a letter after we set up Dr. Banner’s sleeping arrangements.” “Whatever,” Spike said. With that, the trio walked up to the second floor of the library, where Banner remarked that a inhabitable library was something that he wished for in his youth. Twilight next led Banner to another room next to hers, which opened into a small area with only the bare essentials. The bed was set up just as Spike said it was. Banner sat down on the clean bed with a sigh, realizing just how tired he was when he noticed his aching bones. “I guess I’m more tired than I realized,” Banner said as he removed his glasses. “That, or I’m just getting older.” With another sigh, Banner moved to take off his shirt, only to just now remember that he had been without one the entire time. Twilight reassured him that Rarity would have something for him, whoever she is. “So Ms. Sparkle-” “Please, just call me Twilight,” Twilight asked as she interrupted Banner. “Twilight... what can you tell me about this Rorschach character? He’s been around a while, hasn’t he?” Banner asked as he sat up in his bed. “I guess you can say that,” Twilight started. “He just appeared out of nowhere one day, and he’s been around ever since. I can tell you how he got here, though I’m sure he wouldn’t like it if I told he had to be completely destroyed before being materialized in our world.” Twilight covered her mouth. “Oops.” Banner laughed. “Yeah, oops. Don’t worry about it, I won’t tell him you told me his big secret. So, complete annihilation... ” Banner zoned out after that, as if in deep thought. “Well, not complete annihilation. From what I saw, he left a, uh, a mess,” Twilight said, knocking Banner out of his thoughts for now. “Either way, if the... equines we passed on the way here didn’t so much as turn to look at me, Rorschach must’ve been here for a long time.” “Oh yes, quite a long time,” Twilight said. “ I've actually lost count of how many days. Weird, that’s kinda outta character for me- hey wait, isn’t the fact that Rorschach was destroyed and had to be rebuilt to be put here confuse, or at the very least interest, you?” “Not really,” Banner said, “I’ve seen a lot of strange things in life time. So trust me when I say that I’ve seen weirder.” “Like what?” Twilight inquired. “Like a superhuman who survived being frozen for over sixty years, a couple of northern gods that can control the elements themselves, a guy who can supposedly control gravity, alternate universes, giant aliens bent on the destruction of my home planet, giant demons bent on the destruction of my home planet, Deadpool on Thanksgiving, and many, many, so many mad scientists bent on the destruction of my home planet..” “Um... wow,” Twilight said as she made her way towards the stairs, letting out a soft yawn. “Well, I’m guess I’ll head up now. Still need to send that letter to the Princess. Good night, Dr. Banner,” Twilight said. Banner waved her off and set himself to bed, not sure what to expect the next day. Except ponies, he expected them. The lights turned out as Banner got under his blankets, trying to get comfortable in his temporary bed. In the next room, Banner was easily able to hear the silent whispers as Twilight spoke to Spike. A thought occurred to Banner just then; how was she going to deliver her message? Did the ponies have a type of post office that could deliver mail? Or were more advanced, able to use e-mail and the such? Banner hadn’t seen any clues that would show that the ponies even had computers, so Banner dismissed that theory. In fact, what level of technology did they have? A loud belch and the sound of paper burning brought Banner out of his thoughts. ‘What on Earth was that?’ Banner thought. As Banner whispered, he heard Spike speak, but Banner was unable to hear the exact words. A subtle gasp was heard next. Banner’s eavesdropping was interrupted by a quiet set of hoof clops walking past his still open door and saw a silhouette moving through the darkness in the library. “I can’t believe I almost forgot! She’s going to be so mad at me.” Twilight, Banner noted, whispered to herself. ‘And where are you going, my little pony?’ Banner thought. Banner was about to follow the unicorn out, but a thought occurred to him; Twilight was giving him shelter, a temporary place to call home. Who was he to follow Twilight and see her supposedly creepy shenanigans. Was he Deadpool? No. No he was not Deadpool. ‘At least I hope not. That’d be some serious Twilight Zone stuff,’ Banner thought. ‘Wait... I’m in Twilight’s home, so does that mean I’m in Twilight’s Zone?’ Banner paused as he thought this over. ‘Eeyup, I might be turning into Deadpool.’ And with those thoughts in mind, Banner decided not to go out, seeing as he need his rest. The scientist put his head to pillow, and fell into blissful sleep, dreams filled with a woman Banner knew all too well. MEANWHILE WITH RAINBOW DASH Rainbow Dash let out a loud groan as she tried to sleep. Hospital beds were not very comfortable, Rainbow Dash thought as she found herself thrown onto a bed after her ‘talk’ with Dr. Whooves. The stallion had told that, despite being attacked by a manticore, she was for the most part completely fine. It was as if some half-ass story writer had forgotten to give her some injuries or something. It didn’t matter much to Rainbow, since she was told that she could leave in the mourning. A door quietly sliding shut got Rainbow’s attention. Rainbow let out a squeal of delight, something she quickly fixed by coughing, when she saw Rorschach walk in. The human walked towards a nearby chair next to the bed and sat down. “Hiya Roshak!” Rainbow greeted. “What, couldn't spend a night without visiting the the coolest pony in Ponyville?” Rorschach paused as he took out a small journal. “ Couldn't sleep at home,” he said. “To much noise coming from Trixie’s room.” “What, Trixie’s snoring keep you up?” “Wasn’t the snoring, but sure do wish it had been,” Rorschach said, a visible shudder running through him as he remembered why he came to visit rainbow maned one. WOOSH WOOSH WOOSH (MAGIC FLASHBACK SOUNDS) Rorschach sat on his small bed that he had taken out of the the trash such a long time ago, or at least it felt like a long time to the worn out man. Who would have guessed that living in a town filled with talking ponies, including living in the same house as a blue magician who never ceased about talking about herself, could wear someone out so much? Taking out his prized possession, a small journal, Rorschach prepared to write down an entry. Before pencil could strike paper, however, shuffling and quiet hooves trotted entered his range of hearing. Two ponies, by the sound of it, walked through the halls of his home. The man had no need to see who it was, since he was sure that it was the same couple who had walked these dark halls many times in the past months. The man closed his journal and put both it and the pencil into his pocket, as he knew that he would get no work done with the amount of noise he knew was to come. Giggling and hushed whispers came from the room next to his. “I’m still sorry I almost forgot,” a voice whispered. “It’s ok. A lot has happened today. All that matters if that you’re here now,” the other replied just as quietly. More giggles and even gasps left the room for all to hear, all meaning Rorschach and Rorschach alone. Rorschach pinched the bridge of his nose through his mask. He was getting tired the antics of these two. With the flick of his wrist and a small grunt, the masked man turned out his lights and jumped out his window, leaving it open. “Now where to go?” Rorschach asked to no one in particular. Within just a few minutes of mindless walking had Rorschach see the lights of Ponyville’s only hospital. Seeing as he didn’t have much choice, Rorschach moved towards the establishment, intent on getting sleep tonight, even if it wasn’t in either his room or an actual bed. WOOSH WOOSH WOOSH (MAGIC FLASHBACK STOPPING SOUNDS) Rorschach ignored Rainbow Dash’s questions about his nightly adventures and merely stayed on his chair. It didn’t take long for Rainbow to get tired of pestering the quiet man, and so she did what Rainbow Dash does best; do something to keep herself entertained. Rorschach took this chance to take out his journal again. Rorschach's Journal “Life is just one damn thing after the other.” Hubbard wrote that expecting death to be peaceful. Can say I’ve proved him wrong. Death is madness, the lack of boundaries that make the world orderly and controlled is gone as sanity holds no meaning. Events have happened, the kind that belong in wild imaginings of comic book addicts. Seems life moved on without me, yet not in a way I would ever want it to. True aliens, destructive and accurate weapons, and a man that refuses to die. Shouldn’t make sense, yet nothing surprises me anymore. How has the world changed since I left? Were there new heroes to continue the fight? Did they reach the American Dream? Or did it all die in hellfire. Won’t likely get an answer from these men or mech. They don’t come from the same world I inhabited, too different. These aren’t men in the sense that I know, nor machine in any way I understand. Alien, violent, and illogical. I’ll be hard pressed to protect these ponies. “What are you doing over there?” the rainbow maned asked, trying to peek over the human’s shoulder at the journal in his hands. She had obviously seen his journarl and quit doing what she had been doing just a second ago. Rorschach ignored her and continued on. The innocent here don’t fully understand the danger these aliens pose, they find it all a game. Even Rainbow Dash doesn’t see the harm that could have befallen her, how lucky she is to be alive and not maimed. “Are you talking about me? What are you writing? Let me see!” the pegasus as practically crawling over onto the man’s back to get a view of the page in front. Forcefully the book was clamped shut by leather bound hands. The amorphic inkblot slowly turned to face the annoyance on his back, sending a chill down Rainbow Dash’s back. “Get. Off. Me.” the man said bluntly as he glared at Rainbow. The pegasus after a moment realized how she was on Rorschach’s shoulders. She laughed sheepishly and tentatively climbed down and back into the hospital cot. She continued to smile nervously at Rorschach’s glare until the man finally turned back and opened his journal again and set his pencil up again. Who do I have to kill to get some peace around here? Rorschach put away his pencil. He peered around the suddenly dark room, just now noticing how long it had been since he go to Rainbow Dash's room. With one last 'hurm,' the masked man put away his journal. He stayed in his chair throughout the night, needing nothing else to find his own sleep. Before darkness found him, however, Rorschach thought, 'If nothing happens in the next few days, Deadpool's going to get it.' Little did Rorschach know, he would soon find his fun.