//------------------------------//
// Interlude I 
// Story: Flicker of Twilight 
// by _-Sky-_ 
//------------------------------//

“Do you remember how old you were?” Luna asked me.

I didn’t remember. The memory was blurred like a passed dream, I was not even sure if it happened, but felt like it did.

The memory slowly coming back in chunks like a puzzle you didn’t have all the pieces of, but still want to see the complete picture. But the more pieces fell in place the uglier the image became.





I’m scared. I put my ear against the door, something was happening. I heard voices which I recognized from the muffled sounds as my daddy and my brother Shiny.

They were not happy, I could hear them yelling at each other but couldn’t hear what they were saying. I pulled my head back from the door, curiosity and concern washed over me. It was not the first time it happened, they don't like each other very much.

I reached my hoof for the doorknob and slowly pulled down on it, wincing with every squeak it made in the process. When the door finally moved I was really anxious someone would hear me. I peeked my ear outside and listened.





“I don’t remember what they were shouting.” I said and looked at the filly in the dreamscape my mind created. I was so innocent back then, so pure. I was entranced with the filly before me.

“Do you know why was Shining so cross with your father?” Luna asked somewhere behind me.

I didn’t look at her, my gaze was still on the filly and I couldn’t look away. How did such a pure being turn into me? When did it all go wrong?

Luna cleared her throat, which snapped me back to reality, I turned back to look at her and answered. “They… had different views on the world.”

“My dad was, or rather is a conservative narcissist. His whole idea of life was to finish his education and be stuck at some dead-end stable job for the rest of his life. He always treated education like a golden ticket in life. Shiny on the other hoof never wanted a full education. He was an outgoing extroverted pony, he wanted to do something exciting with his life. And at one point he just refused to continue, I think it was around the college. And it turned our dad furious.”

“And your mom?” Luna asked me in a neutral tone, clearly refraining from forming her opinions from just this description.

“She usually sided with Dad. I remember her always drilling into me how my only goal in life must be to finish university. Every time we had a conversation she would always degrade me, without any empathy or trying to understand my point of view, it was always my fault for not listening to her, no matter what I did. And at some point, I just stopped sharing my life with her, it was better to be alone.” I teared up a little toward the end, some hidden bitterness surfacing for a moment. Using my foreleg fur I wiped the moisture from my eyes embarrassed and hoped Luna didn’t notice.

“Let’s just finish this memory. There isn’t much left anyway.” I quickly adverted the topic to hide from my overwhelming feelings. Without a pause, the dream changed in a swirl of colors.





“Mommy, what’s going on?” I asked, but only silence answered me.

I felt forelegs wrapping around me and pulling me away from the doorway. I heard hoofsteps from my left and turned my head in the sound direction. 

My daddy stomped his way toward the living room with a thick strap of faux leather. I knew it all too well, he used it on me before when I did something bad and it always really hurt. My ears dropped, and I started slowly backing up from his walking form. My breath picking up with each second I watched him move. Please no. I soon ran out of space and felt my mother's coat behind me. Please don’t let it be for me.

He passed me and walked into the room adjacent closing the door behind him. Now I could only see his form through blurry glass in the door frame. On the other side I saw my brother's white coat and my dad walking behind him. And then sounds started coming out of the room.

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

Each sound making me wince. I felt... relieved that it wasn't me. It made me feel really ashamed when I realized that. You would let your brother suffer rather than get punished yourself. You’re a bad pony. I heard my thoughts berate me, but I deserved it.

SMACK! SMACK!

I felt my mom's forelegs unwrap me, no longer holding me back. And we waited.

Soon the door opened again and my brother walked out. He moved fast back to his room, but he was not crying. I didn’t understand, how was he so strong?





I am pathetic.

“I didn’t check on him afterwards, just ignored what happened, relieved that it wasn't me. No empathy, no nothing.” I said my eyes forward looking at nothingness around me. It comforted me, it felt like me, empty. 

Luna frowned at me and I felt the mood shift slightly. It made me anxious. “It wasn’t your fault. You were just a filly, it was your parent's responsibility to teach you empathy and love in life.”

That struck something deeply in me and I winced slightly. I knew we would get on this topic sooner or later, but this moment is as good as any I suppose.  “Love… I don’t think I know what love is…” I whispered loudly enough for Luna to hear me. “I-I don’t feel anything. I look at my parents and don’t know if I love them. I look at my friends and can’t tell either. I can’t feel it… and I hate myself for it. I don’t even know if I would care if one of them died, I can’t tell. If that doesn’t make me a bad pony, I don’t know what would.” I explained.

Luna frown stayed and she waited patiently for me to finish before saying anything. “Twilight, you are not a bad pony.”

“Aren’t I?” I countered.

Luna exhaled loudly and walked toward me. “No, you’re not. And I am sure with the steps you're taking in getting better, you will soon find what love means to you.“ She said, and opening her wing drawing it across my back trying to comfort me. 

But instead of feeling safe, I recoiled from the touch, my hooves carrying me a few hoofsteps away. “I-I’m sorry, I don’t like ponies touching me. I’m sorry.” I quickly said embarrassed by my harsh reaction. You're a stupid pathetic trash.

“It’s quite alright Twilight. My apologies, I didn’t mean to startle you, I should have asked beforehoof.” She apologized to me closing her wing back in the process.

I opened my mouth to apologize again, but a sudden light above us interrupted me. A rift composed of pure white light materialized on the dreamscape ceiling, slowly growing larger each second. I learned to recognize it as the moment I start waking up.

“It seems our time has reached its conclusion for tonight, will I see you next week for another session?” Luna straightened up and asked me.

Not that I have any choice in that matter. She’s probably just trying to pick up on any suicidal ideation from my answer.  I mentally rolled my eyes. “Yes, of course, princess.” I answered and felt the dreamscape collapse a moment later in a quick flash of white glow around me.