//------------------------------// // 66 - Regret // Story: The Memoirs Of A Reality Jumper // by Techogre //------------------------------// As our appointment came to an end, Miss Introspective suggested that I talk to my friends about the situation. She pointed out that if I trusted them enough to take my life, then I should also trust them enough to lend me a helping hand in my time of need. Initially, I was hesitant, but her words resonated with me. I came to the realization that confiding in my friends would be crucial for my own healing and redemption. As I stepped out of her office into the warm autumn morning, I was surprised to see Dash waiting outside the office for me. Okay, I maybe wasn’t that surprised. Without a word, she hovered up to me, hugged me, and gave me a peck on the cheek. She was smiling sadly, “So, ya big lug. How was it? How are you feeling?” “I would say it went well. I'm feeling better.” I thought for a moment about what Miss Introspective suggested. My redemption would be my first step. “I know what I need to do to feel better.” She brightened, “Oh? What is it?” I smiled sadly, “I need to apologize to my friends for putting them in an impossible situation.” She nodded, “That makes sense.” I looked up at her, making eye contact, “I also owe you one.” Her smile faded slightly, replaced by a hint of confusion. “Really? Why?” I sighed, “Because I should have spoken to you before I followed through with my cockamamy plan. So, with this in mind, my redemption, I would like to apologize. Please, forgive me for being so—” Dash placed a hoof on my mouth and smiled sadly at me, “You don’t have to do that. I told you before. I love you no matter what, you big goof.” Miss Sweetheart was beaming with joy, a broad smile stretching across her muzzle. She had helped several couples create loving families this season, with only a little fudging for one unique family.  When she heard an unexpected knock on the door, she quickly went to open it. Surprisingly, she found a sombre-looking donkey wearing golden pince-nez at her doorstep. He spoke in a gravelly voice, “Miss Sweetheart?” She answered tentatively, “Y-yes?”  “My name is Chamor. I’m investigating some alarming rumours surrounding one of your ex-charges on behalf of her birth parents.” “Oh?” “Do you recall the filly named Scootaloo?” He scrutinized her face, trying to tease out all the information he could. “Yes, of course. She’s been very happy with her new parents.” Her expression changed to one of suspicion, “Her—birth—parents were worried about her? I find that hard to believe, given their history.” “They claim to be reformed. Nevertheless, I am investigating. Correct me if I’m wrong, but the mother is the national hero, Rainbow Dash, correct?” Miss Sweetheart nodded, fearing where this might be going. “I believe the—father—is the human known as Alex Roberts. An upstanding member of society by all accounts. Do I have my facts straight?” Again, she nodded with growing dread.  “I have concerns about the filly’s safety.” Miss Sweetheart gasped, “Has something happened to Scootaloo?” “No, she seems to be fine at the moment. My concern is the disarray that seems to follow Mr Roberts everywhere he goes. I have it on good authority he has some connection to Discord. He seems to be a breeding ground for chaos.” “That’s ridiculous. He was appointed a Paladin of Redemption by Princess Luna herself. He is beyond reproach.” The old donkey was unmoved, “Perhaps. Who am I to say what a Princess decides?” “Then, the matter is closed. Goodbye, Mr Chamor.” She started ushering her unwanted guest out but was interrupted. “Then how can you explain the Foal Protection Board denying the adoption? And yet, she is with them as we speak. Care to elucidate?” “Yes. Your information is incorrect. I have the paperwork right here.” She opened the filing cabinet, rifled briefly, and pulled out a folder. “Here you go. Everything is in order.” The dour donkey examined the papers. “These seem to be… correct. Thank you. That is all for now. I have other avenues of inquiry to investigate.” With a final kiss, Dash headed off to help with the fall weather, satisfied I was as well as possible under the circumstances. I decided my first task would be Matt. Then, I would make my way around town to speak to the others. I walked straight to Bonbon and Lyra’s home. I knew Matt should be there, especially with his leg still healing. I stood at their front door, hand hanging in the air, poised to knock. I finally summoned the courage. With a long exhalation, I gave two solid knocks. It was Lyra who answered. She was trying to be cool and casual, “Oh, hi, Alex. Come by to make sure Matt hasn’t eaten us yet?” I lowered my head in shame, “No. I need to talk to Matt. I—owe him something.” The mint-coloured mares’ eyes narrowed. “What? Did you think of something else to accuse him of?” I pinched the bridge of my nose, “Lyra, I just need to speak with Matt. You can stay here if you want. Heck, you and Bonbon can both be here if it makes you feel safer.” After a few moments, she nodded. “Alright. He’s resting right now, and I’ll ask him. But if he’s not interested, you’ll need to come back later. Much later.” I nodded. If he’s not interested, it would be best if I just stayed away for a while. In the awkward silence between Lyra and myself, there was a soft grunt from somewhere in the room. Bonbon’s voice had an edge of worry, “You silly stallion, why are you getting up? Lyra can handle whoever is at the door.” Matt spoke in a tired voice, “No, Bons, that sanctimonious son of a bitch is there, and I can’t let Lyra deal with him on her own.”  In a few moments, Matt hobbled into view, supported by Bonbon. He had stripped his armour off but kept the gambison on. The wound on his leg had an unusual silver glint. ‘That must be the nano-bots he was talking about.’ Our eyes met, but I looked away first. Matt scowled just a little. “So? What do you want?” I sighed, “I owe you an apology. I shouldn’t have been so paranoid.” Matt sneered, “You’re damn right. Now get out.” I pleaded, “Look, I just need to explain myself.” There was silence for a heartbeat. He then cocked an eyebrow, “Go on.” Thankful for the opportunity, I started, “What I did was wrong. I love these people.” I smiled warmly at Bonbon and Lrya. “Being the only human, I knew what I was capable of. When I saw you, I suppose I projected all my fear and self-doubts on you. This place is a paradise. These people are good and kind in a way no human can be.” Matt started to object, but I cut him off, “Oh, I know I… we can be good and kind, but we can also be violent, cruel, and deceitful. I let my fear get the better of me, and I’m very sorry.”  There was a moment of silence. I felt tired, and my eyes moistened. I suspected the emotions of recent events were getting to me. “Thank you for listening, Matt.” I nodded to myself, my task complete, “I’ll leave now.” I turned, starting to trudge away.  Mat spoke softly, “Hold up.” I turned to face him again and saw he had cracked a small but genuine grin. “I get it. Now that I’ve spent some time with Lyra and Bonbon, I guess I would have done the same. I’m just a little ticked off you came out guns blazing.” I gave a little mirthless chuckle, “Yeah…” I rubbed the back of my neck, “I tend to go all out when I think family or friends are under threat. More adrenalin than brains.” I decided the next stop on my grand apology tour would be what I hoped was the easiest. I guess I’m just a coward at heart. I found my way to the familiar tailor shop, took a deep breath, and entered. The little bell rang happily. This time, it almost sounded pleasant, but I was here to make a serious apology. When I approached the counter, I noticed that Snazzy Suit appeared to be a bit frightened by my presence. “Elusive, your friend is here.” He added significantly, “The human one.” Ah, crap. He must have told his dad about my plan. Elusive dashed out from the back, still levitating a thread and needle. He spoke with forced joviality, “H-hey, there, good buddy! Old pal o-mine. What’s shaken’?” I looked at the ground. I just couldn’t make eye contact. Damn, this is going to be harder than I thought. “It’s okay, Elusive—no need for that. I came to apologize. I assume your dad knows?” Snazzy Suit gave me a sad smile, “Sure do, son.” I took another deep breath and did what I had come to do. “Elusive, Snazzy, I’m sorry I put you in the position you were in. It wasn’t fair to either of you. I don’t expect you ever to do what I asked.” Elusive looked relieved. “Oh, thank Celestia. Look, Alex, blinders off. I don’t think I would have the nerve to do it. I mean, you’re my best drinking pal. Sinking a few at The Grain Bucket would never be the same.” I spent a few minutes talking to Elusive, and we planned on going to The Grain Bucket tonight. He’ll call on Applejack, and I’ll bring Dash. It will be nice to have a night out with friends. I think I may need a drink after today.  Now, I was headed toward the library. As I approached, I noticed several stray clouds huddled together suspiciously around Twilight’s tree home. I stopped for a moment to examine the fluffy anomalies, and as I did, I noticed the top of a pegasus head, covered with white cloth, peeking over the edge of one of the clouds. Looking around, I saw a group of four strangers laughing and talking. There were two mares and two stallions, all of them more heavily muscled than the locals. I didn’t recognize any of them, not even in passing.  Soldiers? Maybe. If so, it looked like they took some of my suggestions to heart. I knocked on the Library door. Unsurprisingly, a smugly smiling Shining Armor answered. I smiled, “Good morning, Shining Armour. Your teams are getting better. It took me almost three seconds to spot them all this time. The clouds were a little off. The local weather patrol usually keeps a clean sky. Still, it was an excellent effort. The white sheet was a nice touch. Good job.” He lost his smile. “And then the four soldiers walking around were good, too. I didn’t recognize them, so they looked slightly out of place. A bit stockier than a typical pony around here. Not much you can do about that. They did well.”  Shining smiled again, “So, you didn’t spot Corporal Peach Strudel? She was hiding in the attic here. Spotted you a few minutes ago. The guys walking around? A distraction.” Smirking in appreciation, I complimented him. “Your guys are good. Well done. The distraction was a clever trick.” Shining tilted his head in thanks, “I’m sure you’re not here to spot my infiltration team. Are you looking for Twi? I rubbed my nose, “Yeah. I’m here to see Twilight, and you too, I suppose.”  I heard Twilight calling out, concern in her voice, “Hey, Alex. How did your appointment go?” I replied, “It went well. I’m actually here on a related matter.”  Shining stepped out of my way, and I entered. I decided to get right to the point. “Twilight, Shining, I owe you both a sincere apology.” Shining was curious, “What for?” “For putting you both in a position I never should have put you in. Twilight? After all the kindness you showed me and the hard work you did on my behalf, I was thoughtless and unkind. I never should have asked you to take my life after working so hard to save it. Shining? You’re a soldier, but I think doing something like that to me was the last thing on your mind. I don’t know what else—” Twilight threw her forelegs around me, “Apology accepted.” As I heard her relieved tone of voice, my spirits lifted. I had been worried that my actions might have harmed our friendship, but it was reassuring to hear that things were still good between us. Shining had a kind smile and gave me a single nod. I found Beatrix outside her house, cursing. “Bucking plants. Why don’t you grow?” I spoke in a jaunty tone, “Hey, Bea. Horticultural problems?” She pushed her hat up, “Hi, boss. Yeah, Big Mac helped me plant this garden, and it would seem I have a black hoof. Almost a quarter of them have withered.” I scratched my nose, “Really?  Huh. Maybe you should ask AJ for advice. Pinky might be able to help, too.” She smirked, “Good idea. So what do I owe for the pleasure of this visit? Making sure I haven’t burnt the place to the ground?” I chuckled, then grew serious. “No, I just needed to apologize to you.” She looked at me with a disbelieving smile, “What? Why?” I sighed. “For putting you in a position I shouldn’t have. Do you remember the insurance?” She deadpanned, “Kind of hard thing to forget.” “Yeah, well, I never should have asked you, or any other pony, in the first place. I’m sorry. Please accept my apology.” She just stared at me for a few heartbeats, a hint of anger on her face. Finally, she simply said, “No.” Well, I tried. “Ah. I understand. I would be angry, too. I hope one day—” She waved a hoof dismissively, “No, I forgive you, but I don’t need an apology. You were worried about us, about everyone else, not just you. It was sweet in a weird, violent way. Just don’t expect me to collect on that policy. I can think of a dozen ways to disable you without putting you down like a rabid animal.” I nodded my head in admiration, “A dozen? I’m impressed.” She smirked, “I’ve been thinking of contingencies ever since you ambushed me with that. I wanted to make sure I never had to use that information.” I was curious, “What were you thinking? Something simple? Maybe just lifting me off the ground?” She gave me her dynamite Trixie smile, “Let’s just keep that as a little surprise.” The Carousel Boutique was closed, with a sign proclaiming the shop was open by appointment only. I knew she kept shorter hours than she used to, but I hoped she was in. The quicker I could speak to her, the quicker I could put this all behind me. I gave two sharp knocks. Soon, the bottom right corner of the curtain lifted, and I could see a blue eye with blue eyeshadow. The door opened, and I was greeted warmly, if a little nervously, by Rarity. “Alex, my dear. How are you? Are you feeling well today?” “I’m feeling better.” I scratched my nose, “Let me get to the point. I need to apologize for asking you to do the unthinkable. I had no right to ask you.” Her expression grew disdainful. “You are correct. You did not have the right to ask me to do that dreadful—thing. I’m not sure I can accept your apology. What you asked from me was appalling.” “Yes, it was. I’m not sure what else to say, Rarity.” “Neither do I.” She sighed a long, drawn-out sigh. “However, I suppose since you have come to the realization what you asked was foolish, I believe I can forgive you. On one condition.” “Name it.” She closed her eyes, “Please, please, please, please, please never ask me to do anything like that again.” She grinned kindly, “It would be a most unladylike task.” Having apologized, I started to feel better about myself. I managed to find a babysitter for tonight, thanks to Mrs Cake. It wasn't an emergency and I didn't want to take advantage of Summer. I made it home in time to prepare supper, but the kids were still out. Dash and I had a chance to talk before they returned. I gave my fiance a quick kiss. “Hey, Sweetheart. How was your day?”  She seemed a little exasperated, “Things were going alright, right up until some clown gathered a few clouds right above Ponyville. Ugh. Some pegasus I didn’t know was in a white sheet, hiding in one of them. They said they had authorization to be there. Whatever. I’ll clear it out in the morning. Still, a pain in the flank.” I chuckled, “Ah. I see you found part of Shinings infiltration team.” Dash rolled her eyes. “They're getting better, I actually missed one. However, for now, my beautiful bride-to-be, I have a very important question to ask you.” She smirked, hovered up to me, and put her forehooves around my neck. “Ask away.” “Dash, what do you say we go on a double date tonight? Nothing fancy, just you, me, Elusive, and AJ. I just feel like going out and being normal. It feels like forever since we were just an ordinary couple. I kind of miss it.” Her smirk grew into a genuine smile, “You know what? That’s an awesome idea. Just you, me, and friends. It’s been a while since AJ and I just hung out. May as well have a little salt while we’re at it.” Dash sighed, “Oh, wait, what about the kids?” I gave her a kiss on the nose, “I already made arrangements with a young lady named Twist. Mrs Cake recommended her.” She chuckled warmly, “You’re lucky I said yes.” “Of course you did. Who wouldn’t want to go on a date with an amazing guy like me? She gave me a throaty chuckle, “Goof. It’s been a long day. I’ll just hit the shower and have a little nap before supper.” “Sounds good. I’ll call you down when supper’s ready.” With our date planned, I made a family favourite, eggplant casserole. Well, I made two, one with hay and one with bacon. I also had a small bowl of mixed gems for Summer. I left them plain. Once supper was ready, I went upstairs to get Dash. She was waking as I opened the bedroom door. “Supper’s ready, dear.” She blew a strand from her messy mane out of her eye and stretched luxuriously. “Be down in a minute.” I turned to leave and could hear the soft sound of a perfume bottle being sprayed. I smelled the lilac scent and smiled, pausing at the door. “You smell nice, dear.” She gave a throaty chuckle, “Just getting ready for tonight.” I smiled, “I’ll take a quick shower after supper.” Waving a hoof, she dismissed my concern, “Naw, you’re fine.” I was a little worried. I thought I was a bit sweaty, “You sure?” Her eyes were half closed, “Oh, yeah.” With supper on the table, I made an announcement. “Before we dig in, I have a little announcement. Mom and I are going out with friends tonight. It’s a last-minute thing. Twist will be coming over to watch you guys. She said something about making candy.” Scoots’ eyes narrowed, “Wait, wait, wait. Like… a date? You guys are going on a date! That’s awesome!” Summer just tilted her head in confusion. “What is ‘date’?” Dash answered right away, “It’s when me and your Dad hang out. Tonight, it’ll be with our friends, Elusive and Applejack.” Summer nodded but seemed unsure. As I served the family meal, Dash gave a little sigh. “Hey. You made eggplant casserole. Again.” I thought Dash and the kids loved my casserole, “Er, is something wrong?”  Dash and Scootaloo gave each other sidelong glances. Scootaloo spoke first, “No, not as such, Dad. It’s just it could use a little sugar. You know, to bring out the flavour.” I deadpanned, “Sugar.” Dash spoke encouragingly, “Yeah, just a sprinkling. We aren’t trying to be bodybuilders after all, so a little flavour won’t hurt anypony.”  I considered the flavour profile of sweetened eggplant. “Sugar?” Scoots explained, “Yeah, Dad. Just a little. I know your, what’s it called, your taste for different foods?” Dash’s hoof made a little circle in the air while thinking, “Yeah, the kinds of foods you like. Salty, but not salty, kind of like that taste of mushrooms, sort of. Ugh, how do I explain this?” I thought I understood, “You mean my palate?” Dash brightened. “That’s it! You like foods that aren’t as sweet. Even less sweet than what Applejack cooks up.” Scoots agreed, “Yeah! You know how you have salt in the sugar shaker? Well, everyone else has sugar in there.” “Really?” This was not something I had considered. I assumed it had been Dash or Pinkie playing a prank on me. Dash gave me one of her confident smiles, “Really. I mean, your food is good without it, but you know, it would be just a little better with it.” Summer spoke in my culinary defence, “Me like your food, Father. It just right.” I chuckled. “Thank you, Summer. But I know what they’re trying to say. Alright, Dash and Scootaloo. Going forward, I’ll be sure to add some sugar to your food. And I’ll get a second salt—I mean sugar—shaker with actual sugar.” A culinary crisis averted and a little sugar sprinkled on some plates, we happily continued. As we were having dessert, blueberries smothered in cream and sugar, Scootaloo tentatively spoke. “Mom? Dad? Miss Cheerilee said she wanted to see you tomorrow after school. It’s about me and Summer.” “Oh?” I spoke in a tone of mild interest, but inside, I was starting to panic.  Dash beat me to it. Her head slumped back in anguish, “Oh, Celestia. What happened?” “Nothing, Mom. She just wants to meet you guys. You know, while the town is not being attacked. No offence, Summer.” “None taken, little sister. She right. Teacher want talk.” Dash got a worried look, “That’s even worse.” I didn’t hide my relief, “Is that all?” I brightened up, “That’s good. This means she’s interested in her students. That’s what you want in a teacher. So, Scootalloo, Summer, tomorrow after school, you said?” Summer nodded glumly while Scootaloo answered unenthusiastically, “Yeah.” I gave them a fatherly smile, “Don’t worry, girls. I’m sure Miss Cheerilee will have nothing but great things to say about you both. And if she doesn’t, I’m in your corner.” Scootaloo brightened, and I heard a steady thumping of a wagging tail from Summer. “Now that we have that sorted out, Twist should be here soon to watch you guys and make treats. Let's get the kitchen cleaned up.” When we left, Twist was setting up her candy-making gear in the kitchen. Before we got out of earshot, I heard Twist excitedly explain what they were doing and what kinds of candies they would be making. “That Twist kid is good. She’s making pony and Diamond Dog candies.” Dash was as impressed as I was. “I didn’t even know there was such a thing as Diamond Dog candies.” I shrugged, “Neither did I.” We made our way through the dark, empty streets of Ponyville. There were few people walking around, but for the most part, it was quiet Wednesday night. We chatted about this, that, and nothing at all. We reached the familiar alley and went up the steps to The Grain Bucket. The bartender, Berry Punch, greeted us as we came into view. “Long time no see, strangers. Your usual, Dash?”  “Naw, I think I’ll have a cider with half salt. I’m a mom now.” She laughed, “Got to be respectable and all that junk.” I chuckled, “Just a rye and ginger for me, light on the rye. And for the record, my dear, you are very respectable.” I scanned around the bar and didn’t see the others yet. I glanced at the clock, and it was only about seven-thirty. I smiled lovingly at Dash. “I guess we’ll have a little alone time after all.” She took a sip of her drink and gave me that cocky grin I loved so much. “Yeah. Let’s sit over there.” She pointed to a dark, secluded corner. “Why, ma’am, are you trying to get fresh with me?” She laughed and gave me a radiant smile, “Maybe.” Once we reached the unlit corner table, Dash sat right beside me. I put my arm around her, and she snuggled into my chest. We sat like that for a while, just enjoying each other’s warmth. She sighed, “I missed this.” She kissed my jaw and breathed deeply, then whispered, “Celestia, you smell good.”  I turned my head to give her a kiss when I heard Applejack chuckling, “Whoa, nelly. It looks like we caught those two lovebirds making hay.” I gave Dash a kiss, and we both chuckled. I greeted our friends warmly, “Applejack! Elusive! So happy to see you guys.” Dash jumped up and hugged AJ. “Hey there, cow mare. How’s my best gal pal?” Elusive gave me a friendly hug, “Hey there, Alex! Good to see ya! You feeling better, pal?” “Yeah, I am. Look, before I get into all that, let’s get you guys some drinks. The first round is on me.” Applejack pushed her hat back and drawled, “I’ll take an apple cider with salt, if’n you please.” Elusive smirked, “I’ll come with ya. You know, to do all the heavy lifting.” “Dash, your bottle looks empty. You want another one?” “Sure, why not? Same as before.” I bowed, “Alright, ladies, your heroic stallions will return momentarily.” The two began chatting happily while Elusive and I headed to the bar. “Hey, Elusive, thanks for suggesting this. It’s been crazy, and I appreciate the downtime. Just some time to be normal.” “Hey, no worries. Glad I could help a friend.” I leaned against the bar and took out my coin purse. “Hey, Berry. Could I get a cider, half salt, a cider, full salt, another rye and ginger, and…” I pointed to Elusive. “I’ll take a stout beer with salt.” She replied happily, “You got it!” While she was getting the drinks ready, she asked, “How are the theatre plans going? Do you have a contractor lined up?” “No, not yet. But I hope to hire somebody soon.” “The whole council is looking forward to seeing this thing built.” “Me too. Anyway, I’m off work tonight. I’m just here to spend time with my friends.” “Best place for that. Here you go. That’ll be seventeen bits.” I happily paid. “You’re the best, Berry. Thanks!”  Elusive took the drinks in his telekinetic glow as we made our way back to the table. I commented to Elusive, “It’s not a party without tunes.” I stopped at the jukebox, put in a few coins, and selected a few songs, more or less at random. Our marefriends were having an animated, whispered conversation. When Dash spotted us, she shushed her friend, and both started laughing. Elusive placed the drinks in front of the ladies with a flourish and a smile. “Alright, girls, what’s so funny?” Dash smirked, “We were just saying how weird it was that I’m a mom. We always figured AJ would be first.” AJ laughed, “Yeah. She owes me one bit. She lost that bet.” Dash noticed the music and exclaimed, “I love this song!” She grabbed my arm, “You. Me. Dance floor. Now.” As I happily followed my dear Dash, the song’s good beat and catchy tune made me want to dance. Even though I was never much of a dancer, all that mattered was the mare in front of me. I looked around and saw that even Elusive and AJ were dancing, too. Soon, a few more couples joined in the fun.  After a couple of songs, a slow tune started playing. I gestured to Dash, and she placed her hoof in my hand. I held her in my arms and slowly moved to the music. It was a magical moment. I could smell the lilac perfume blending with her natural scent. I had almost forgotten how wonderful it feels to dance with someone you love. Just holding her close, nothing complicated, just enjoying the warmth of her presence. After a few more songs, someone else had put some money in the jukebox. We decided to take a break, and Elusive offered to buy the next round. I noticed that my drink was stronger than before, probably because they used rye as a mixer. It was only when I was halfway done with my drink that I realized the bartender wasn’t Berry. However, it wasn’t a big deal, and they must have made it stronger, which was fine by me. Everyone at the table was feeling great. We chatted, laughed, and had a good time. I had my arm around Dash, and she leaned into me. Elusive was also leaning into AJ, happy as can be. At around ten-thirty, we decided to call it a night. As we went out separate ways, AJ gave me a peck on the cheek, and Dash gave Elusive one, too. For a split second, I was worried this would be a repeat of the wedding, but, to my relief, I was worried for nothing.  Dash and I wandered the long way home, quietly enjoying the quiet walk. I did, however, let her know my feelings. “Thanks for tonight, Dash. It made me happy. We just don’t do this enough.” Dash leaned against me, “That’s a fact. We need to do this more often. But, next time, how about just us?” I nodded, “It's a date.”