//------------------------------// // In Which Many Crosses are Crossed Over // Story: Retreating Rationale (an author's worst nightmare) // by LordBarcha //------------------------------// The group of hooded figures stood in a circle, examining a glowing display. “What do you think?” “It is irredeemable.” “Then let it be taken to a vote.  All in favor, raise your hands.” All raised their hands. “It is decided, then.  I declare Exterminatus on this universe.  I hereby sign the death warrant of an entire world and consign a million souls to oblivion.  May Imperial Justice account in all balance.  The Emperor Protects” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~         Rain poured down on the desolate cityscape.  From under a ledge, John stared intently at his book.  Shivering, he pulled his jacket a bit tighter.  He drew deeply from his fake cigarette.  It was only some old newspapers, rolled up and dampened to keep them from burning too quickly.  Dull droning of cars and buses traveled slowly up to his ears from the streets below, only to be broken by a strange sound, a deep, throbbing hum coming from below him.  Pulses tore through the ground, cracking the concrete. “Blast!” Shouted John, “The ground is trying to eat me!” The noise grew louder, and the ground exploded outward. “Wait.  Is that... Dubstep?” *SCENE BREAK*         John groaned in pain and opened his eyes, only to be greeted with a pair of mismatched eyes, one red and one violet.  He shuddered in terror.         “What’s wrong?”  Vinyl asked         “They’re here!”         “Who’s here?”          “The Ponies!”         “Do you have a problem with ponies?  I’d say we’re usually pretty nice.”         “No!  You don’t understand!” John screamed in terror, “My entire family was killed by a stampede of genetically modified ponies!  The same ponies then caught on fire and burned my house down!  Another one took over my company and kicked me out of my job!  Every day, they force me to read terrible books!  If I can’t answer all of their questions, they beat me up, with the books!”  He examined Vinyl more closely.  “Wait!  You’re one of them!”         He fled outside, still moaning about his terrible life.  Suddenly, an avalanche of books tumbled from the sky, crushing him.         “Sorry, Twilight!”  Came the voice, “I just don’t know what went wrong!”         “Derpy!” Twilight shouted, “Now I’ll have to research forbidden magic to revive him!”         However, rather than continuing to chastise the clumsy pegasus, Twilight began making out with her. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “The author of your story is utterly beyond help.”  The hooded figure stated flatly. “I agree!”  Pinkie Pie chirped, “So you’ll help me fix things?” “No.” “Why not?” “Exterminatus has been declared.  The reality bomb is being prepared as we speak”         Pinkie’s hair flattened instantly, “You’re going to destroy us?”         “If you hurry, you might be able to save a few.  Prevention is possible, as you have proven, but even you cannot cure the disease.  Once the author twists a character, it is immutable.  This is an act of mercy.  They died a long time ago.”          The figure wavered and flickered out, leaving the room in darkness. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ On the outskirts of Equestria, the behemoth slowly rose from the water.  It stood on two legs with a large red sphere protruding from its chest. Chariots, pulled by pegasi, soared around it.  From them, unicorns launched bolts of magic.  From a nearby hill, a catapult launched a massive boulder at the monstrosity.  It struck the thing across its beaked face, sending it plummeting to the ground. It pushed itself back onto its feet, asking, “What was that for?” A very nonplussed commander responded, “You’re a giant monster.  What do you expect?” “I’d expect some cordial greetings, perhaps an invitation to tea and a polite discussion.” “Can we just get back to the fight?” “I’d really rather not.  I’ve had a rather strange day.” “What makes it strange?” “I was supposed to be attacking some city called Tokyo-3.  You people seem a bit too equine to be inhabitants of that city.” “So you’re sure you won’t rampage through a village or two?” “Absolutely not.  I’m just going to stand here and hope that whatever brought me here sends me back.  I’m quite good at regenerating, though, so I suppose you could keep hitting me if it would make you happy.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “Something unexpected is happening.” “What is it?” “The author attempted to perpetrate a crossover, but it failed.” “What do you mean, failed?” “The angel he dragged over from Neon Genesis Evangelion refused to rampage.  In fact, it’s just standing there.” “What significance is this?” “It means that more characters are resisting.  I move that we withhold the reality bomb by another three hours to more fully examine the proceedings.” “This is acceptable.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~         In a small house on the outskirts of Phoenix, Arizona, John Smith  heard a knock at his door.  Standing slowly, he stepped toward the door and looked through the peephole.  A glaring, pink face stared back at him.  With a panicked cry, he thrust the bolt home and sprinted for his computer.  Upon arrival, he found the pink pony already waiting for him.         “You’re coming with me, author.” she stated flatly, “You need to see what you have made.”         He blinked and found himself standing in the middle of Ponyville.  In the distance, golden magic flashed, the signature of Celestia’s rampage.  Buildings burned because of inhabitants too busy romancing to notice.  In the distance, the massive figure of Sachiel buckled under a barrage of boulders and magical blasts.         “Well?  What do you have to say for yourself?”         John chuckled, then broke into a mad cackle.  “What right do you have to shame me in my own story!  You’re a mere character!  I am the author!  In this world, I’m practically a god!  Cadence, come to me!”         “This is it!  The final battle!  Author against character!  A universe on the line!” the narrator shouted.         With a flash of blue flame, a massive black changeling appeared.  Hissing, it launched itself at Pinkie.  She ducked, sliding beneath it, and landed a blow against its stomach.  It turned and slammed her hard enough to send her through a building.         She grunted and stood up, “Did you really think I would try to fight you without help?”         Missiles rained from the sky, obliterating the monster.  The NERV gunships soared overhead, tipping their wings in victory.  Behind Pinkie, a blue box appeared and three ponies stepped out.  First came Vinyl Scratch, looking much less heterochromic.  Next, Lyra Heartstrings strode to the front, clutching a harp in two mechanical hands.  Finally, Doctor Whooves himself stepped out, a determined expression on his face and a sonic screwdriver in his front pocket.           “I searched this world and the other one you so carelessly combined it with for allies in our inevitable clash.  These are the ones you forgot.  The ones too unimportant for you to taint.  The final survivors.”          “Sachiel!”  called the author, “Kill them all!”         The behemoth slowly materialized before the group in all its inhuman glory.  A group of NERV agents fired missiles at it, but they were deflected by a glowing, octagonal field.         “Let us handle this one!” Pinkie shouted up to them, “Everyone have your core drills ready?” Green light enveloped the field of battle, growing brighter by the second.  From its depths, mechanical components knitted themselves together until they stood as tall as the opposing monster.  The crimson mecha slowly flexed its arms, grasping at the air.  Sachiel wasted no time, launching a crux of light at its opponent.  However, it simply shattered against the armor of Pinkie’s mecha, not even moving it an inch. “This machine is our absolute determination to protect this universe!  You dare think that so weak an attack could ever hope pierce our armor?  My name is Pin-Kamina, after all.  Don’t tell me you readers didn’t see this one coming.”         A giant drill materialized on the end of the mecha’s arm, growing rapidly in size.  Propelling itself forward, Pinkie Pie indulged in naming her attack. “Pinkamena Giga Drill Breeeeaaaaaak!” Under so powerful an assault, Sachiel’s AT Field shattered instantly.  Just before the first and last blow struck, it muttered, “I knew I should have stuck to tea and crumpets.”         Having become wholly holey, the unholy abomination collapsed to the ground, dead.  Suddenly, a lance of golden light pierced Pinkie’s mecha, cracking its armor and severing an arm.         “Who dares stand against Celestia Solaris Equestria?”                  Another bolt destroyed the mecha outright, sending the pilots flying.  They landed in a smoking heap of bruised limbs a few feet away from John.         “No!”  Pinkie screamed as she struggled to stand, “I refuse to let it end here!         John chuckled and raised his hand dramatically into the air, “Celestia!  Kill them all!”         “Did you just give me an order?”  Celestia’s voice was quiet, almost a whisper.         “Yes.  I did give you an order.  I am the god of this world!  You will obey me!”         With a flash of golden light, the grey ash drifted gently to the ground. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~         “I don’t believe it.”         “What?  What’s going on now?”         “the author is dead!”         "This is unprecedented!  How did he die?”         “At the hooves of the first character he corrupted.”         “Oddly poetic, almost like somebody was trying to make a point.”       “How long until reality bomb detonation?”         “One minute.”         “Will you watch?”         “Would you watch a world die screaming?”         “Yes.”         “You sicken me.  Of course I won’t watch it.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~                  The sun went out, but the world stayed the same.  Piece by piece, the sky turned a flat white.  The white dribbled down from the sky, wiping buildings and their inhabitants into oblivion.  Ponies didn’t even notice as they faded.  Kissing even in death, the void devoured them before they even realized it was there.  Celestia seemed to notice when her wing vanished, but was consumed too quickly to ever know for certain.  The grassy field, pockmarked with holes, suddenly shone with deep navy light.         Luna stood before the group, half of her face missing.  The white dripped down as she struggled to speak, covering one of her flat, dead eyes.         “P-Pink-k-k-ie.”         The pink pony, now protected by a strange orange suit, gently embraced the dying princess.         “I-I-I’m Sor-Sorry.”         “No, Luna.  I’m sorry that it came to this.  I should have tried harder to save you.”         The shattered visage twisted itself into a small smile, before disappearing entirely.  Pinkie sat there for a time, until the ground finally disappeared from beneath her.  She turned to face the other survivors.         “What are we waiting for!  There’s an entire multiverse out there and it’s up to us to make sure it has a brighter tomorrow!” End of Chapter 2. A/N: …. AotA/N:  My thanks once again go out to LL for helping proof the thing.  For the record, except for the scene with Luna, I just kind of made it up as I went along.