In a far-off world, not connected to the greater existence, there existed a stage, as grand as any Canterlot had seen. The rows of seats extended on into infinity, while the stage was large enough to fit an entire orchestra and then some with ease. Though the ceiling itself wasn't visible, any who stood on the stage could see the walls that separated back from front.
Red, gold and many shades colored the stage as well as its surroundings. Fitting, as the name such a venue bore was the Red Gold theatre, though few, if any, knew such information. Those who arrived simply found that they were on a strange stage with an infinite, and empty audience watching them.
Though grand in its scale, this theoretical visitor would find that it had all the charm and pomp of bar room stage. The floor was scarred and bore visible burn marks but there was no major damage save for the odd knick or scratch. The floodlights were cheap but functional, and the air was heavy with the smell of mildew and spilled beer.
Despite its state, and lack of operators, the stage pulsed with energy. A light turned on by itself, the curtains withdrew on unseen mechanisms, and the sound of a drum roll came from the darkness. The lights twirled about, growing in number before suddenly shifting until they all pointed at a single point on the stage.
An unspoken cue had been given, prompting a square roughly twenty feet across to give way and reveal darkness. Down somewhere in the bowels of the theatre a machine chugged, and whirred, unseen pistons pumping. Slowly, an orange-hued mass became visible, rising up from below until finally, the nonpresent audience could see that it was a tree.
Gnarled, with a squat, thick trunk and twisted bark that resembled an anguished face of an unknown species, it was intimidating, for a tree. The beautiful array of fall colors that adorned its many branches was less intimidating, however. The overall appearance was like that of a particularly ugly bonsai tree in the midst of shedding its leaves for winter.
The creature that bore this strange tree upon its back was far scarier than the odd plant it carried. It had massive shoulders, a head that poked forward out of the top of its chest, and arms large enough that its knuckles nearly dragged across the ground. Made from a mixture of several different kinds of rocks, the stoney monster seemed to only be half-formed.
Yet despite this, the tree’s roots kept its form together, the large twisting mass of wood acting as the glue that held one segment to the other. Moss and small vines had found a home on the stone creature as well, creating a blanket of green that covered much of its shoulders and upper body. Though both tree and stone golem were inert as they rose up into full view, that changed when they reached stage level. The golem’s emerald eyes flickered before igniting, while the tree seemed to shift uncomfortably, its limbs twitching.
An arm reached back, and touched the base of the tree’s trunk, noting idly that the mass was centered mostly on her right side. This information was dutifully logged, and cataloged, though only really grappled with it after several seconds of silence.
“Why is there a tree on me?” she grumbled.
Why am I rooted to some manner of golem. Thought the tree.
“Wait, who said that?” murmured the stone creature.
I did you dolt, I’m the tree. Retorted Xathrid irritably.
“Last I checked trees didn't talk,” remarked the rock monster.
And last I checked neither did rocks. Xathrid shot back.
“Touche,” murmured the golem.
Turn around, and find out where we are. Commanded Xathrid. I can only see out of your eyes.
“You do not order me, tree,” declared the golem, hands on hips.
Xathrid mentally sighed. Please look around.
“That’s better,” she murmured.
The golem then turned slowly, doing a full circle before stopping and facing the crowd once more.
“What a strange place,” she muttered.
Quite so. Wait… Xathrid paused. Didn't I agree to help some strange pony?
“Piercings, kinda girly, with a jester stick cutie mark?” asked the stone golem.
Thats him. I assume you made a similar deal? Xathrid inquired.
“Indeed. I assumed it was more of my ponies coming to join the colony, but evidently, I was incorrect,” admitted the golem.
I didn't even know what I thought. I was just curious and wouldn't in a million years have guessed that this would have happened. Xathrid exclaimed.
“Interesting, what is your name, sir Tree? Also, should I keep using masculine pronouns, or…” murmured the stone creature.
Xathrid, yeah either that or it slash its, what about you?
“I… hmm,” murmured the stone creature. “Most just call me mom, or some variation thereof. From that, I’m sure you can assume what manner of pronouns I use.”
I’m not doing that. The name I mean, I’ll use whatever you like otherwise. Xathrid deadpanned.
“Fair,” she muttered. “Perhaps just Nan?”
That's better. Not perfect but better. Fine, Nan it is. Xathrid admitted.
“Good to hear that my star team are both on the same page,” declared a familiar voice that echoed from everywhere at the same time. “Soon you’ll be beating baddies and saving the day like the best of friends.”
“Where are you, you little punk?” Nan demanded, adopting an offensive stance. “I didn't sign up for this.”
Me neither. Xathrid added.
“Relax, relax. You’ll be saving the universe, plus I’ll make it worth your while!” Jest exclaimed.
The diminutive stallion stepped out from somewhere and appeared amidst the many empty seats of the audience.
“I don't care about your universe, send me back to mine,” Nan demanded a second time.
Yes, and me as well. I had experiments I was in the midst of. Xathrid added.
“Please take a breath, or uh pretend like you did,” Jest exclaimed while trotting toward the stage. “You’ll be sent back to the very moment I absconded with you so don't get too worked up.”
“Is that true, you have that kind of power?” Nan inquired, posture softening slightly.
“I teleport you to a pocket reality of my own crafting and you wonder if I have the power to time travel. Can you believe this chick?” Jest retorted.
Nan made a snorting noise and crossed her arms over her chest. “I don't know how your powers work. Maybe this is the extent of it.”
“Oh no, it's much much more than just moving things from place to place, though that's usually what I do,” Jest admitted with a shrug, pausing briefly to hop up onto the stage. “What fun is there in doing everything yourself?”
Is that why you grabbed us? To do your dirty work? Xathrid demanded.
“Oh, I mean saving the universe can hardly count as dirty work. Especially when you would be beating up villains all day,” Jest added.
“Explain,” Nan half asked half stated.
“Well, it's like this,” Jest began.
The stallion trotted over to a spot on the stage and stomped twice. A large whiteboard fell from somewhere and landed perfectly beside him, the white expanse already adorned with pictures. They were mostly of ponies, but there were others like dragons, a few odd creatures neither of them knew of, and some that they did. Of the ones they knew of, there was a griffon and a minotaur, and of the ones they didn't, there was a strange noodle monster, an insect pony, and finally a pony made of shadows.
“Who are those people, and why do they seem familiar?” Nan muttered, trodding up to a few feet away in order to get a better view of the board.
This does seem oddly nostalgic for some reason. Xathrid added.
“That's because you’ve seen them all before when you watched the show My Little Pony, Friendship is Magic,” Jest added. “Unfortunately whomever, or whatever transported you from one universe to the next damaged enough of your memories that you can't recall them.”
I recognize that one at the top with the weird horns, he's Discord. The jerk that sent me to Equestria in the first place for beating him in a dumb game. Xathrid pointed out.
“Yeah, that does sound like him,” Jest remarked, tapping the smarmy face of the god of chaos with a pointer. “He's responsible for more than a few of you dimensional transplants. Rarely cares about keeping the same form or maintaining your memories however.”
The ass. Xathrid muttered bitterly.
“Hmm, that's weird. I don't recall any force bringing me to Equestria,” Nan remarked.
“I think you’re motherly instincts did,” Jest replied. “You’re appearance in Equestria probably wasn't the plan of any thinking being unless there is an entity above that of my employer.”
“Your employer?” Nan asked curiously.
“Don't worry about it,” Jest dismissed, smacking the board a second time. “This is more important.”
And this is… what? A murder board? Xathrid inquired in an amused mental tone.
“Sorta,” Jest answered. “It's all the baddies that showed up in the show, and it is all the foes you will have to face if you want to save the universal constant from being unraveled.”
“Which is what? Stop pausing and just explain everything in one go,” Nan complained.
“Fiiiine,” Jest whined right back. “So basically you know how the good guy always wins right? Well, this is by design, the universe is slanted in just such a way to ensure that this is almost always the case. There are slight deviations, but eventually, the good guys usually beat the bad guys and harmony reigns. Hooray.”
The stallion threw a hoofull of glitter in the air in a half-hearted manner.
“And they want to stop this,” Nan anticipated.
“Exactly,” Jest stated. “They want to alter reality itself so that they have a fair shot of winning which can't happen for obvious reasons. Untold suffering, destruction, yada yada.”
This leads us to the obvious question, why can't you or your employer handle this? Xathrid asked.
“Finally a good question!” Jest exclaimed, leaping up onto Nan’s unoccupied shoulder. “You two have traveled the space between before which is why you were selected, plus you’re also from the same universe so it was easier to grab you. Two birds one stone and all that. Pun very much intended.”
“What does-”
“Shhh, daddy’s talking,” Jest interrupted. “Now where was I? Oh yeah, you’ve been tossed into other realities before, which helps make things easier because the world I want to toss you into is guarded against me.”
Now we’re getting somewhere. Xathrid remarked.
“This dimension is the most boring of them all because nothing sapient ever evolved there. Just bugs, animals, etc., etc.,” Jest continued, rolling his hoof in the air. “So it was a simple matter for them to go there, and create a barrier against interlopers such as I.”
“And which one of them is the mastermind that we have to stop?” Nan asked, gesturing back to the board.
“All of them, and not!” Jest unhelpfully replied. “Their presence empowers the spell, meaning that you need to take each one out or get them to declare that they aren't a villain anymore. If they do that, they’ll be sent back to their native dimension by the same spell they are trying to cast.”
My money is on Discord. Xathrid declared. That jerk would absolutely weigh the dice on his side.
“From what you’ve said he certainly seems the most dastardly, though that purple, pink, and blue one’s smug aura mocks me,” Nan added.
“Oh right, forgot to give you back your memory,” Jest clopped his hooves together. “There we go. It probably won't last long but it should help with matters.”
Why can I still not remember more about Earth but I suddenly have complete recall about some show for little girls? Xathrid inquired.
“Yes, the fact that you gave me back memories of watching a show with my kids but not the kids themselves are most… vexing,” Nan muttered bitterly.
“Sorry, those bigger ones are harder to restore and something tells me you don't want me rooting around in your noggin any more than necessary,” Jest apologized.
“Fair,” Nan admitted.
So to recap, we go there, get them to admit they aren't villains, or turn them into bloody mush and stop this spell. Xathrid recapped.
“Pretty much,” Jest replied.
“And what do we get out of this exactly?” Nan inquired.
“I’m glad you asked! The answer is as simple as it is vague, I’ll grant you a boon,” Jest declared, throwing more confetti in the air.
That is vague. Xathrid pointed out.
“Yes I was hoping for something more concrete, like say a ton of gold, enough metal to arm a small army, or a giant pile of medical supplies,” Nan declared, hands on hip.
“Look just trust me, it’ll be worth it,” Jest retorted, hopping down from the stone golem’s shoulders and leaning against the whiteboard.
Yeah, I don't trust that for a second. Xathrid stated.
“Well, it's a good thing your input no longer matters. Buh bye now!” Jest called.
“You little bugger,” Nan shouted.
The stone giant lurched forward, her hands reaching for the stallion only to grasp naught but air. The floor under her had given way, and she fell into the darkness alongside her newest companion, Xathrid the tree. Though the fall itself was brief, they would land in an entirely new reality, where they would gain many more new and novel problems.
Such as, how to extract several tons of stone of neck deep mud.