Partial

by Halira


Chapter 28: Insecurities

In the rec room, Jordan watched the doctor, an older unicorn stallion, packing up his things. In attendance with them and the patient was Andrea and one guard. 

"You're sure she'll recover?" Jordan asked, worriedly glancing at Carmen lying on the couch. 

The doctor nodded. "Yes, she should be alright. After two to three weeks of rehabilitation, she should regain full use of her legs. She should be able to walk for short stints starting tomorrow. All her veins and arteries are completely intact, her limbs receive proper blood flow, and they hadn't been without blood long enough to cause permanent damage. Don't worry. I'm not going to ask how she lost flow to her legs. I know better than to ask questions about what happens at Wabash Manor. This is tame compared to some of what I've been called to treat here. I'd call her lucky."

"Thank you for coming," Andrea told the doctor. "We will take it from here, and the guards shall show you to the gate. As per usual, you'll receive a significant payment for your discretion. My baby sister is gone. I hope that will mean less of these types of calls."

"Not off to a great start," the doctor muttered but headed towards the door with the guard following. 

Jordan's ears sagged. "I'm really sorry about this, Andrea. I didn't take security measures seriously enough."

Andrea grunted. "Well…let's call it a learning experience. At least it was just a thief and not someone who wanted to hurt anyone. Our nineties video game character here is moderately notorious. I remember seeing a case file on her back while with the FBI. We never figured out her trick for getting into places. Pretty neat trick–neat enough that we should probably just let her go."

"What?!" Jordan exclaimed in confusion. 

Carmen gazed at them in bafflement. "Not that I'm going to object, but…why?"

Andrea sighed and shook her head. "One thing my baby sis had right was that certain magic shouldn't become widespread. She was a pragmatist, and she was very guarded about what spells she developed got out to the public, fearing magic that society was not prepared to deal with yet. That spell to phase through matter could cause a lot of trouble. Government security has enough issues dealing with unicorns teleporting to places they shouldn't be and pegasi flying over fences; we don't need to add earth ponies walking through walls or sinking into basements to the mix. As a thief, I think you have every incentive to keep your trade secret a secret. If we turn you over to the authorities, that increases the risk your secret gets out. Even if they don't instruct anyone on how to do the spell, earth ponies, knowing it is possible, will try to figure out how to do it, and, sooner or later, someone will. The floodgates are open after that."

"Yet she never stopped developing potentially dangerous spells," Jordan said. 

"True," Andrea agreed. "She did so because spells are tools, and she wanted those tools available if they were needed–or if someone else developed them and we needed a firm understanding of what they were using in order to counter it. She also developed many spells she deemed safe for public use that she shared with the government to do as they wished with that knowledge." 

Andrea frowned at Carmen. "Oh…and if Sunset were here, she'd probably not let our prisoner go until she had a firm understanding of how this magic works, even if the knowledge ended up in the vaults. She'd go to great lengths to figure it out–possibly unpleasant lengths. My sister was reformed, but she still could be a bit morally gray sometimes, and her forgiveness rarely extended to anyone who invaded our home. Too many bad experiences for that. You'd live through it, but she'd link her taking the time to properly free you before you lost the full use of your legs to your cooperation with her research and say it was your fault for breaking and entering."

Carmen shivered. 

A guard stuck his head in the room. "Miss Gilmore? The actual auctioneer has arrived, along with the appraiser. Their IDs check out."

She hadn't even asked if Carmen had shown any sort of ID. Now, she was feeling dumber than ever. 

"Have someone escort them in," Andrea instructed before Jordan could respond. That was yet another thing she hadn't considered that seemed obvious now–having people escorted in so they couldn't wander off. 

Jordan looked at Carmen. "She can't walk right now. What do we do with her? We can't just dump her on the street when she's like this."

"The Dreamwardens promised me aid if I got caught!" Carmen shouted. "I demand you contact them!"

"Heh," Andrea said, shaking her head. "I should have guessed they'd pull something. Either them, the government, or both. They're testing us now that you're in charge."

Jordan shrank back. "Phobia is my sister, the Marshmallow is my friend, and Yinyu has spent a lot of time showing me… forget I mentioned that last one; why would they do this to me?"

Andrea rolled her eyes. "Oh, to be eighteen again. I'd be happy with being forty again at this point. To answer your question, they want to be sure the vaults are secure even with Sunset gone. I think this demonstrates that my sister's defenses are good enough to hold even if you make a few slip-ups." 

"Oh," Jordan whispered. 

"Stop pouting!" Andrea snapped. "Amicus yelled at me because she thought I was being too mean to you, so I'm doing my best to be more sociable. Unlike my sisters, I'm not a liar."

"Amicus lies?" Jordan whimpered. 

"She's a lawyer! What do you think? She doesn't so much lie, per se; it is more like she says truth-adjacent things," Andrea growled. She then went wide-eyed. "But she doesn't lie to you or tell you anything truth-adjacent."

Jordan sniffled. "You're terrible at this, you know that?"

"I know!" Andrea yelled. "Why do you think my kids and grandkids never visit, and my husband was so ready to dump me when I transformed!"

They sat staring at each other. Jordan wondered if she should say something but didn't have a clue what to say in response to that. On the plus side, Andrea wasn't just unpleasant to her. She should feel bad, but it was somehow comforting. Did that make her a bad person? Only bad people felt comfort from something like that. Oh, no, she was a bad person! Did she need to go to church? No, Auntie Sunset went downhill after joining a church. Maybe she should mentor a young foal or something. 

"Should I be listening to this?" Carmen asked. "This sounds like a lot of personal business that has nothing to do with me."

"Cover your ears," Andrea instructed. 

"I can't. My limbs don't work," Carmen replied. 

"The auctioneer is going to be in here in a minute. We should do something with her," Jordan said. 

"Go dump her in the chapel. I'll send a pair of guards to watch her," Andrea said.

"Or we could put her in the guard room," Jordan suggested. 

Andrea rolled her eyes. "Fine, but we throw a sheet over her head so she can't see the cameras."

"Aren't you going to contact the Dreamwardens?!" Carmen protested. 

Andrea waved a hoof. "We'll get around to it. Miss Gilmore has an auction to do, and I kind of want to get rid of this junk, too."


Luna sat, saddlebag on, watching the Marshmallow dance along to some Earth song with two people singing about a whole new world. It sounded like it was meant to be romantic, but it was hard to get that vibe when the Marshmallow was doing ballet. The fact that such a fat pony could stand on the tips of her hind hooves like that while prancing around with her forelegs held high above her head was almost a bewildering enough sight to distract her from their surroundings. Almost. 

She turned her gaze upward at the ship's bridge window to see the two soldiers watching from above. They seemed to be as amazed by the display of the Marshmallow's agility as Luna should have been feeling. She turned her head and saw the Marshmallow's projection floating just above the ship. It would be invisible to the soldiers, but keeping the projection invisible wouldn't work on the Princess of the Night. The Marshmallow's projection was having a very animated discussion–likely with the other Dreamwardens. It seemed being across the universe didn't interfere with their ability to see through her projection. The dream realm was not defined by physical distance, but she had briefly wondered if this place would block their gaze. It had already done the impossible many times over. What was one more impossibility?

Tearing her eyes away, she looked at the buildings in the distance. Her vision had always been better than her sister's or Twilight's. She believed it came with having been born a pegasus rather than gaining pegasus magic upon ascension. Cadence had excellent vision as well, so it tracked. She knew that none of her companions could make out the details as well as she could. The windows of the buildings were strangely shadowed, and she felt like there were hundreds of eyes staring at her. Even the doors of the buildings felt like eyes rather than mouths. If it weren't for the ship blocking the view in one direction, she would have hundreds of eyes staring at her from all sides. Now, she had hundreds of eyes staring at her from three sides. 

She took a deep breath, then another, then one more, just to be sure. The Marshmallow said she needed to maintain a positive attitude and that this place could tell if she had a non-positive attitude. She needed to think of happy things–foals on Nightmare Night, pineapples, possums, post offices, the opera, poetry, picnics, and PowerPoint presentations with the fancy clipart that flipped. She would ignore the hundreds of eyes watching her. 

The Marshmallow suddenly stopped dancing while still balanced on one hoof and immediately fell over, flat on her face. The music cut off at that same instant.

"Ow."

Luna rushed over. "Goodness, Marshmallow, are you hurt?"

The chubby pegasus sat up and tapped a hoof to her muzzle before looking at her hoof. "No blood! I'm good to go, and you can call me Rebecca or Becky. There's no need to be so formal. We're practically family. I'm like your non-blood-related granddaughter."

Luna smirked. "I'm sure you know, but the Bluebloods claim me as an ancestor, even though I most certainly am not. I was a godmother to one of Princess Platinum's great grandfoals, and that somehow turned into me being their grandmother in their minds. I suppose you have a closer to a legitimate claim to the title of a granddaughter, considering I was two before you in Dreamwarden succession."

The Marshmallow tilted one ear. "How did Prince Blueblood getting stripped of titles make you feel when it happened?"

She shrugged. "Prince Blueblood is over a thousand years removed from the dear foals I was granted that title for, so there is practically no connection. He got what he deserved, and I feel no remorse for it. He was an entitled brat. His ancestors would feel nothing but shame at his actions. If this had been earlier in Equestrian history, he would have faced far worse consequences, and I would have endorsed such punishments– kindness was never one of my primary elements; they were loyalty, honesty, and laughter, all things he betrayed."

The Marshmallow giggled. "Yet you have Sunset Blessing as a personal student who sucks at two of those things."

Luna tilted her head slightly. "True, though she has improved somewhat. A second round of motherhood seems to have done wonders for her weaker elements. I can't say she is an honest pony, but she does laugh more than she once did, and having escaped Earth's expectations seems to have lightened her heart even further." She refocused. "How did your siblings react to seeing this place? Were they as giddy as you?"

"Eh…it was a mixed bag, and by that, I mean I'm the only one giddy about it," the Marshmallow answered with disappointment. "Arbiter, in particular, despises this place with a passion, and the rest are kind of somber about it. We aren't a monolithic group, no matter what anyone thinks. I guess I just have more fond memories from here than sad. I like to focus on the happy stuff, not the gloomy stuff–even if I did inherit a lot of not-so-happy memories along with the happy ones. Still, they're glad we arrived safely. Ready to go look for some rocks?"

She looked out at the buildings again. Happy thoughts. She then turned and smiled at the Marshmallow. 

"Of course, Becky. We shall search the city and return with a triumphant load!" Luna asserted. 

The youngest Dreamwarden smiled gently up at her. "You don't have to try to fake it so hard, you know. I'm not oblivious to how others are feeling, even if I act like I am. I think I might get that perception from you, and I'm happy to be spending some time with you. Let's walk and talk."

It sometimes unnerved her how much wisdom and perception these Dreamwardens had, not to mention the level of knowledge. They were her creations, a mere fraction of her age and magical might, yet they possessed insight and learning far more ancient than hers, along with much of her knowledge. Not that any of them, nor her, were immune to the occasional bout of foolishness or lapse in judgment. Every time she looked at them, she was reminded of one of her most significant lapses in judgment, appointing Sha'am Maut a Dreamwarden. She always wondered how much of a shadow the dread mare cast over their minds.

They walked together towards the buildings the bridge window faced. It was a massive plaza, and it would take them at least five minutes to reach them. It was curious that any city would need a plaza of such grand size, but this city covered a planet, so everything was on a more colossal scale. 

"Tell me, Becky, what do you believe you inherited from Sha'am Maut?" Luna finally built up the courage to ask.

The Marshmallow pursed her lips. "It's hardly something I can say for sure, but I think she reinforced my love of children and foals. I also could never cook well before becoming a Dreamwarden but became an excellent baker of cookies and pastries after, which Sha'am is the only Dreamwarden in recent history who had a true knack for–no offense intended to you or the others. Phobia bakes, but she's pretty sure she inherited that from Sha'am, too. I cried when I realized I lifted a skill directly from the old meanie pants, but I got over it. It's part of me now, and it's something I can bring joy with." she lowered her head. "And…I confess I might have inherited some darker elements from her as well, although I can't confirm it was specifically her."

Luna tensed, hearing her fear given validation. "What darker elements would you be referring to? I shall keep anything you say to me in confidence."

"I know you will," the Marshmallow quietly replied. "It takes a lot to make me really mad; I mean a lot. Way more than any of my siblings. I might get annoyed sometimes, but that isn't the same as in a rage. You have to do something extremely despicable to piss me off…but when someone does push me to that limit…let's just say I'm not very nice at all."

The tenseness did not lessen. "What do you do?"

"There haven't been many, but there have been a few people that hurt kids…I mean, really hurt kids and then got away with it," the Marshmallow said in a pained tone laced with bitterness. "I think it is the getting away with it that is the thing that finally pushes me over the edge. I try to let the police and the courts take care of things. I do! But sometimes, the system fails, and those bastards get to keep on doing what they are doing. That's when I decide enough is enough, and I make sure they hurt. Maybe I get it from Sha'am, maybe it is Ghadab or one of the others, or a combination, but I decide I'm going to deliver the justice the system failed to deliver, and I get flat-out sadistic about it because I'm that furious. I don't like myself when I'm like that, but I can't let it go or even think straight when it happens. I can't stand for someone to hurt kids and keep getting away with it."

The Marshmallow cried. "I know it isn't right. I know I should let the law continue to try, but when it gets to that point, there's this all-consuming rage, and all I can think about is kids are going to keep getting hurt if I don't do something. It's like my brain shuts off. The others have criticized me for it, I've criticized myself for it, and so have my bodyguards–even if they end up doing the dirty work. They say I'm going to get them in trouble. I might have already done so. The government has formed this task force in response to Dreamwardens stepping over the line on things, and my siblings look at me, knowing that it is me and my vigilantism that's triggering this. I don't know what to do. Do you have advice?"

Luna silently considered what was said for a few seconds before replying. The shadow of Sha'am might be there, or it could be having so many night ponies in the Marshmallow's line had some impact, or it could even be Luna herself who this was inherited from, for she knew she would take swift justice in the Marshmallow's position, but this was not something acceptable on Earth. There was, however, something that stood the Marshmallow apart, remorse. Perhaps the Marshmallow inherited that from Krik or Phobia, who also felt guilt at turning to violence despite being night ponies,  or maybe the horror at such action was in the Marshmallow all along. From what she knew of the pegasus, the latter seemed most likely. One thing was clear: the Marshmallow did not share Sha'am's greatest flaw. Sha'am never questioned her own actions or felt any shred of remorse for the terror she inflicted. The Marshmallow might be more ruled by emotion than many of her siblings, but she was also more willing to question whether they were right and felt more conflicted than any. Sha'am was unworthy, but the Marshmallow's concerns showed that the Dreamwardens made the right call in selecting her. Those with power should always be willing to question their own actions. 

"This is something I have a hard time expressing good advice for," she said. "As co-ruler of Equestria, if I decide to take action against some brigand, it is my right. If the same happened in Equestria, I too would take action, and none would fault me."

"But Earth is not Equestria, and I'm not that kind of authority figure. I'm crossing a line," the Marshmallow replied. 

"Indeed," Luna agreed. "Yet, my rights as Princess of the Night have been with me for so long, I don't know if I can fully appreciate what it is like not to have the right to take action. I don't condone what you have done, but I understand the drive and don't know what other action to suggest you take. Taking no action seems as much a crime, if not more. You should respect the systems your world has put in place, for they are there for a reason, but something must be done, even if what you are doing isn't it. I don't know what that is if your system is failing. I do not know what advice to give, Rebecca."

"Things are easier when it's clear what the right thing to do is," the Marshmallow agreed, sounding sad. "I want to do the right thing. I wish I knew what that was."

"These are not happy thoughts," Luna said grimly. 

"But it's friendship, family, and comradery," the Marshmallow replied, drying her tears with a wing. "Jeg'galla'gamp'pi sees, and it understands. Thank you for being my friend and talking to me about the things about myself I'm not proud of, even if you don't have the answers."


Jessica ran her hand along the wall of the closest building. It was perfectly smooth, without a bump to be felt, and cool to the touch. Straining her hearing, she heard no ground settling, no groaning in the wall under its weight, despite the building she was standing next to extending what had to be at least a hundred stories upward. This was what ultra-dense thaumic matter felt like? How was this ever shaped and formed? Who shaped and created this, and what happened to them? The level of advancement needed to do it was mind-boggling. Rebecca was an architect. She wondered what Rebecca thought of these buildings. 

Charlotte grumbled in frustration. "Finding anything?"

"No," Jessica answered, removing her hand from the wall and looking upward at the countless windows of the building. They all seemed to be staring down at her, even if she knew that was an impossibility. It had to be a trick of light mixed with paranoia.

"Me neither," Charlotte said with exasperation. "There's not even dust! We're standing in a bunch of ancient ruins, and it is like it was just cleaned minutes ago. If cleanliness is next to godliness, this place is fucking Heaven."

Jessica rubbed her arms. It sure didn't feel like Heaven. The sense of being watched made her fur stand on end. She didn't believe in ghosts, but this place made her question that assertion. 

She pointed to their left. "Let's try in that direction."

"Any particular reason why?" Charlotte asked. 

She shook her head. "None at all. I have no more lead on what to do than you do. One direction is as good as another as long as we go that way together."

"Sounds good," Charlotte replied and walked up beside her. If they were beside each other as they headed anywhere, they could be seen together by anything watching. 

"Still feeling your sister?" Jessica asked as they started walking. 

Charlotte pointed a wing vaguely off to a spot opposite the direction of the star. "She's somewhere that way. The sensation of her is faint, but I can still tell. I wonder how she's feeling right now. She has to be feeling the same weaker sensation. Maybe she's worried. She didn't know about this mission. So, she has no explanation for why our bond feels weaker. She could think I'm hurt or dying."

"Your mom will talk to her, I'm sure," Jessica replied. 

"You never know with our mom," Charlotte said. "Mom keeps a lot of secrets. I don't resent her for that. I'm in the military, so I keep my own secrets."

"She has to at least tell your sister you're safe," Jessica insisted. 

Charlotte shook her head. "Mom wouldn't do that. Mom doesn't lie. Rebecca might try to sugar-coat things, but I heard a lot of potential danger involving this place. Don't worry, I'll dreamwalk my sister when I go to sleep, and Arbiter can get you in contact with your family while you sleep. That way, you can tell them you made it here and are still alive and well. At least you can tell Robby."

"I can tell my parents, too," Jessica corrected. "Your grandma used her necklace on them a few years back. Someone had advocated that the Dreamwardens should be able to contact them, just in case someone tried to kidnap them."

Charlotte glanced up at her with a raised brow. "Really? I hadn't heard. They must have kept it very low-key. What tribes did they turn out to be?"

"They did keep it low-key," Jessica confirmed. "My mom was a unicorn, and my dad was an earth pony. They each didn't keep the necklace on long, and they never developed any abilities. Their PREQUES numbers are so low that it is hard for crystal ponies to even register them, but they're enough for Aunt Arbiter to contact."

"I heard the Warden of Order has a PREQUES number like that. It's how he keeps under everyone's radar. No one expects a Dreamwarden with essentially no magic," Charlotte replied. She suddenly stopped walking, forcing Jessica to come to a halt. 

"What is it?" Jessica asked. 

Charlotte pointed with a wing. "Window over there. There's something in it."

Jessica looked in the direction indicated. Something was sitting in a lower window. It was hard to tell what it was, but there was definitely something. The pair of them walked towards it to get a better look. 

It was a dodecahedron that seemed made of the same material as everything else around here. Actually, it looked like its shape was slightly off as if it had been squished. Each facing was unadorned, and there was no coloring anywhere to be seen on it. It was just sitting there, like someone who had set a pie on a windowsill to cool. The sensation of being watched felt more pronounced now as if the planet was waiting with great anticipation to see how they would react to this find. 

"Rebecca said to grab anything we can find and bring it back. Pretty sure that qualifies as anything," Charlotte said. "You want to grab it, or do you want me to?"

"Is it just me, or did the feeling of being watched just go up several decibels?" Jessica asked. 

"I think it's just you."

Jessica swallowed and reached for the object, unsure if she fully trusted Rebecca knew what she was talking about when the Dreamwarden said nothing they found could hurt them. She should be wearing gloves or have some sort of tongs to collect this. 

The second she touched her fingers to the object, it started to glow, and she yanked her hand back. 

"Whoa! I guess that one is meant for you. The puffball is going to be dancing about this," Charlotte said, bemused. "You have to be the one to take it now."

"You try touching it," Jessica instructed. 

Charlotte rolled her eyes and flapped her wings to get into the air. While hovering, the night pony reached out a hoof and laid it on the object. There was no reaction. 

"See, it's meant for you, not me. Dreamwardens don't lie," Charlotte said as she took her hoof away and landed. "Take it. We don't want to refuse a gift and offend the planet that can make us poof out of existence."

Jessica hesitated. "We don't even know what these things do. Why is the planet giving me a gift?"

"I don't know. Maybe it wants to make friends," Charlotte suggested. "We have our orders. Grab it so we can head back to the ship. We can radio Rebecca that we found something, and then maybe she can explain what the hell it is and what it does."

She gulped and reached out for the object again. It immediately started glowing once more when she touched it, and, once again, she yanked her hand back, and the glow ended. She then touched it again, and the light resumed, making her again pull her hand back.

"Stop poking it and just grab it," Charlotte said in frustration. "We've already established that it glows when you touch it. Stop being a chicken-shit."

For some reason, the image that entered her mind was the glowing forms of the crystal ponies that had hunted them during the day of the Cataclysm of Riverview, which did not help her bravery. 

She took a deep breath and placed her hand entirely on the object. It started to glow once more. This time, she didn't yank her hand back but didn't grab either. Unlike the buildings, this thing felt warm to the touch. It wasn't hot, more a pleasant warmth, like clothes straight out of the dryer. There was something else…not something she could put into words well. It was like she was more aware of the stone. 

She removed her hand once more, and Charlotte let off an aggravated sigh. Before her friend could scold her, she started pulling off her shirt. 

"Why are you stripping?" Charlotte asked in confusion. 

Jessica took her shirt and wrapped it around the object. Not being in direct contact with her seemed to prevent the glow. She bundled the object carefully in the shirt and then picked it up. She quickly checked her bra to ensure she wasn't popping out anywhere, not wanting to give anyone a peep show, especially since her abdomen and chest were essentially fur-free, and then smiled at her friend. 

"There. Now we can head back to the ship," Jessica replied, feeling pleased with herself.