//------------------------------// // I Have a Sister Too, I guess // Story: Well, That Stinks. // by Nugget27 //------------------------------// I woke up under my bed, my mother was curled up around me, lightly snoring as she slept in. While I had dinner with her last night, I learnt a lot of things. Changeling parents, almost always, sleep with their offspring even long after their offspring are of age. Mine never did that since my ‘parent’ was Queen Chrysalis and she’s an asshole. Whoops,. I swore, so it’s no longer as family friendly, but there isn’t a better word for Chrysalis, since according to Forial, and two other changeling Queens, who were here to aid Equestria for the upcoming invasion, the Badlands Hive just had horrible living conditions. Mom’s Hive in particular had school districts, farms, and an actual economy that used raw materials as a back bone. So, I was just sitting there, telling the other Queens, Celestia, Luna, and Cadance a few things. Mostly what happened with Chrysalis once used a drone as a meat shield when a bear tried to eat her. Not because she couldn’t just blast it, but because she thought it would be funny. Mom took out a sledge hammer, before eying it, before she cheerfully showed me an apple pie she baked. Oh yeah, changelings don’t need love to survive apparently. It can be used as a substitute for food, but food worked just as well for changelings as love did. Though changelings that survived exclusively on solid food couldn’t perform magic. The only true thing was changelings drones were incapable of defensive magic, and complex combat spells took too long to be practical. So, most of my life as a changeling is a lie, so that’s fun.  Mom woke up soon after I did, and pulled me closer. “How did you sleep, Beatle?” Also, Mom used my actual name instead of ‘Stinky’.  “I slept,” I said bluntly, snuggling deeper into my mother’s embrace.  “Did you sleep well? Not if you slept at all.” “Oh. What does that mean?” Florial shook her head. “When I get a hold of Chrysalis, I am going to skin her for making you so socially awkward,” she sighed. “Do you ache all over? Like you slept in a bad position?” I shook my head. “Then that means you slept well.” Oh. “Did you sleep well?” I asked. “Of course; I have my child, and we’re sleeping under a bed like changelings should.” She pulled out a baseball and a pair of gloves for it. “Would you like to play catch?” I nodded before walking towards the window. “Ah, if we’re going to go through the window, we have to do it in style; it’s the changeling way!” Mom grabbed a chair before throwing it through the window. It shattered into a million pieces, and the two of us jumped out the window. Mom did several frontflips before landing, and I landed in a nearby fountain. The two of us proceeded to play fetch together.  Shortly after playing catch for three hours, Mom had to go to a special meeting with her, Celestia, and the two other Queens. I, on the other hand, planted my rump in the ground, and sat there for a few moments. I sniffed the ground before taking a mouthful of dirt and swallowing it. That was a bad idea, because now my mouth tastes like dirt… I threw it up and covered it with the baseball glove I still had on before wandering around the gardens for an hour. Well, I would’ve if I didn’t bump into a tall, black alicorn. I planted my butt back down as I studied her. She had dragon-like eyes, had moon armor, and had a similar, starry mane to Luna. The mane difference was the size in the mane, and how much it flowed in the nonexistent wind. I sat and stared up at her… She has fangs. I slowly got up and off my butt and slowly started backing away. I’m no genius, but I think I’ve seen a photo of this mare before. Moon MareNight, the Mare in the Moon.  Or was it Moon in the Mare? “What are you doing out here, you bug!?” She shouted. “I’m uh…” I kept backing away, but for every five steps I took back, MoonNight Mare took one step forward and made up that distance. Nightmare Moon started laughing like a maniac as she knocked me on my back. “Mommy!” I tried to scamper away, maybe, just maybe I’ll live another day if I eat enough dirt to end up in Maregolia.  A camera went off. “Oh, that was priceless!” Nightmoare Mon’s laugh became far less maniacal and more normal. I don’t know if that was scarier or better. Soon, she was enveloped in light, and Luna took her place. She was giggling behind a hoof, and I noticed Rainbow Dash in a bush with the camera. I blinked a couple of times, and had a thought. Luna just scared me… I don’t like that. While the Alicorn and Rainbow Dash started laughing, I took the camera and the photo it had produced to look at it. “H-hey,” Rainbow said in between laughs. “Give-“ I ate the camera, it had a really nice crunch, and licked the photo a couple of times… Oh, that tasted good. I swallowed that too. I continued sitting there, glaring at Luna.  “Oh come on, Stinky, you have to admit that was funny,” Luna giggled. Immediately, sixteen to eighty seven changelings came out and piled on Luna. Celestia, Mom, and two other Queens came out from a bigger bush while giggling up a storm. “That is how you do a prank, sister,” Celestia snickered as the Lunar Princess tried to get past the vast changeling pile. It didn’t work. Rainbow thought she was safe, but I lunged on her and pinned her down. I spun around and plopped my butt down. She was now trapped.  “Hey! Let me go!” Rainbow Dash started to squirm. “Look, can’t we all just…” I laid down, resting my head on top of hers. She stopped complaining after that, her wings ruffled a bit, and she sighed. “I suppose this isn’t too bad… Changelings are weirdly soft for being literal bugs.” Luna slowly crawled out from under the pile of changelings, her mane was in disarray, her crown, necklace, and each of her shoes were missing. In the pile, I could see that one changeling had her crown, another had the necklace, and her four horseshoes were distributed amongst four different changelings. The pile dispersed, leaving those six, and one extra changeling. Luna continued to lay on the ground, her tail was messy, and had stopped flowing. “Remind me to not scare Stinky again, how did you arrange an army so quickly, Queen Florial?” “I didn’t, I just knew you and Rainbow Dash were nearby, and saw you two snickering behind a bush. So I gathered my fellow Queens and your sister, and a small battalion of drones.” One of the other Queens walked up to me and Rainbow, and laid on her belly in front of us. “You are right, Florial, Beatle is quite the catch,” she chuckled. I forgot her name at some point, mostly because I slumped over in my chair during dinner last night. “Matripace, I know that you would like to date a Prince, with you being as young as you are, but refrain from peeking at my son’s rear end. I believe our friends, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna have already laid their claims.” I crawled off Rainbow Dash shortly afterwards, before crawling over to Luna. Look, she looked awful and worn out; I felt bad for her even if she scared me. I nipped her for trying to send me to the moon, though, I need oxygen to not die, and I don’t think outer space would have that. The changeling wearing Luna’s crown giggled to herself before prancing around with the thing like a nymph. Up until she bumped into Mom and she giggled slightly while backing away. “Just make sure you return Luna’s crown by the end of the week, Skitters, or before Chrysalis’s invasion,” Florial nuzzled her. Skitters nodded before happily hopping up on Celestia’s back, just to steal Celestia’s crown, and also put that on her head too. “That’s your sister by the way, you two will meet soon.” So, there I was, sitting in a sitting room because ponies love having rooms dedicated to stupid things., sitting across from Skitters. She still had Celestia and Luna’s crown, and had managed to obtain Mom’s crown as well. We were sitting across from each other, Skitter was sipping on hot chocolate, while I sat and was eating cocoa powder out of a pouch because I had no clue as to how I would be able to make it into a liquid. Skitter put her cup down. “So, you’re my long, lost brother?’ She asked, tilting her head. “According to Mom, yeah.” I dropped the act I usually put up. “It… this is all kinda weird. First, my Mom is Chrysalis, who is a psycho, all my cousins are basically dead. Then my actual mother comes out of nowhere, and I suddenly have a sister..” I tilted my head, examining her. She looked like a miniature version of Mom, had the same eyes, same hair, she was just shorter and had a shorter horn to match. “You’re kinda pretty,” I laid down in my chair. “That’s a normal thing to say to your sibling right?” “It is, as long as you don’t find me attractive. Then something is wrong since we have instincts that make it impossible for us to see each other as attractive.” Skitters hummed while looking at me. “Yeah, I can see why some of the other females wanted to try and get you in their den.” Her wings buzzed. “Well, I always wanted a little brother, but you’re apparently older than I am if my nose isn’t lying to me,” she clapped her hooves together. “Let’s go pick a random guard and terrorize them with a bunch of pranks!”  “What are pranks?” “Jeez, I knew Chrysalis made having fun illegal in her Hive, but she made pranks illegal too?” “Yeah, pranks sound like fun, so they’re illegal. Happiness is also illegal.” Skitters snorted and put me on her back. Despite me being older, according to her, she’s a lot taller than I am, almost at Luna’s height. “Am I a midget?” I asked. “No, usually with changelings, females are the dominant sex in Hives; we’re usually bigger, stronger, and more capable with magic. there is  just more of a discrepancy between you and I because I am Princess; we tend to be bigger because usually we end up taking over the Hive if our mother passes away.” I paused. “…Mom’s gonna die?” I asked. I wanna keep Mom! I just found her again! “No! Of course not! Just… if anything happens to her, one of her children takes over, in this case, since I'm technically not a drone like you are, I would take charge… You are also a midget, since you’re shorter than any male I’ve seen.” Dangit! I don’t wanna be short! I wish I could just magically make myself taller, but I don’t know how to do that. So there we were, sitting in front of one of the female guards, who was looking confused. Skitter had turned into me upon seeing the poor mare around the corner. She copied everything, from leg-hole placement, to the necklace I made out of an old bit, and put Celestia’s crown, which she still had, on her head, and Luna’s crown on mine. The guard stared at us, and each time she blinked, my sister and I would close one eye, slowly open it, and close the other one. “I don’t know if I should offer to take one or both of you to bed. Or if I should chase you both for having the Princess’s crown.” The guard scratched the back of her head. “That’s weird, I didn’t think you’d want a herd with two of the same changeling,” my sister said with her normal voice. “S-Stinky? I didn’t know you were a mare.” “I’m not,” I said.  “Why are there bucking two of you? Why the buck do you have the Princess’s crown?” The guard’s panicking brought a bunch of other guards, all of whom were now tilting, cocking, or just scratching their heads as they tried to decipher what was going on.  “Seriously, what is going on here?” “I am Princess of the Night,” I said, making a dress appear on my figure and twirling. “So of course they run in fear and fright! They feel threatened and unsure!” My sister turned into Celestia. “So let’s heighten your allure!” Two Royal Pony Sisters, the Princess of Love and her husband, the Elements of Harmony, and three Changeling Queens sat around a crystal ball. They were watching Stinky and his newly discovered sister do a musical number that sounds like it was taken from a twisted, bucked up version of their actual reality. Luna was snickering as both changelings used towels they had pulled from… somewhere to slap each other midway through singing. Meanwhile, the battalion of guards were just sitting there, you could see the loading bars in their eyes as they were processing changelings, in the form of their Princesses, singing and dancing in a very strange way. Soon, the changelings stopped their musical number, and a squad of them dropped from the ceiling. All changelings present, Stinky included, bent their knees and started swaying from side to side while slowly approaching the guards.  “Should we stop them?” Cadance asked? Not even the narrator was sure if she was asking or joking. “On one hoof, this is hilarious, on the other, they’re breaking the guards’ brains.” The incoming, bent-knee-squad of changelings that were now approaching the highly trained, highly skilled individuals started running like fillies upon being slowly approached by the incredibly weird pseudo-equine force.  Florial giggled. “My children are just making up for lost time; I’m just glad they aren’t doing it to my legion of guards; they would be coming to me for hugs and snuggles in fear of what my children were doing. Or just join in like they are right now.”  Shining Armor sat and stared at the crystal ball. “All those guards were guards I trained myself…” He looked up at his aunts in law. “Are they all this incompetent?” “Yup! I knocked one out with a cupcake once!” Pinkie said, before throwing one at Shining Armor and knocking him out. It turns out that incompetency is magically implanted into guards. “That’s the second one!” Nopony even batted an eye at how the highest ranking officer of the Guard, who has the strongest shield spell in all of Equus, was knocked out by a cupcake. Twilight did run a diagnostic spell to make sure he wasn’t dead, since anything was possible with Pinkie Pie. “I brought popcorn at least,” Florial took out a bunch of microwaveable bags of popcorn. “And I prepared them this time, because I saw Celestia try to microwave a bowl of cereal and she left the spoon in the bowl once.” “That was one time.” “You saw a trick for making oatmeal in the newspaper with cereal, and you wanted oatmeal for some reason. You did that when we had instant oatmeal in a box right next to the microwave.” Florial sighed. “Of course, you blew it all up with that stupid trick, and I had an entire kitchen and staff built and highered to keep you from doing that again. Please tell me that you learnt how to cook in my absence.” “...Your son walked into my private kitchen and found a cup of water that was on fire, along with the water in the cup?” Celestia shrugged. “Okay, so I can’t cook anything other than pancakes. Is that so bad?” “...You aren’t allowed in the kitchen anymore,” Flarial slapped Celestia with a newspaper. “Each time you think about it, I will correct you into thinking otherwise.” Celestia crossed her forelegs and huffed. “That. Was. Bucking. Priceless!” Skitters clapped her hooves. “You, my brother, caught on quickly when it comes to pranking.” “To me it just seems like we made a guard pass out while the others fled in fear.” “Well, it’s not my fault that the Equestrian Guards, no matter if they’re freelancers or work for the Crown, are incompetent. If you want to, I bet you could knock Shining Armor out with a potato and not even struggle while doing it.” Somewhere in the distance, a knocked out Shining Armor squirmed in his sleep. “Besides… We didn’t actually hurt anypony, so it’s fine.” “Yeah, I suppose. That was really, really fun,” I shivered. Skitters pulled out a chocolate bar that easily snapped into two, and she gave me a piece. We both happily indulged in the treat while the other changelings started to crawl to and fro, doing changeling things such as sniffing everything in the room. To occasionally licking things, and… Oh, they don’t like eating carpet. I think I tried it once, and figured I should just let Rainbow Dash do that instead. What? She looks at Apple Jack all the time while smelling like she wants to mate. So, me, Mom, and my sister were all sitting on the bed in my room, across from Harmonic Breeze who had finally come back from vacation. Mom and her were having a nice conversation while I pouted with my forelegs crossed. You see, Soft Breeze is back, and I was happy because I wanted to snuggle up with her. Then Skitters snatched her up and the two of them were happily giggling while my sister braided the filly’s mane and tail. We had long since returned the crowns we borrowed to respective owners, except Luna’s crown. I kept that away from her and she hasn’t found it yet. “Can I go hug Stinky now?” “Stinky?” My Mom and Skitters said in unison? “That’s him!” Soft pointed at me. “Why did you call my brother Stinky?” “Isn’t that his name?” Soft cocked her head to the side while looking at both of my relatives. “Beatle, why did you tell these ponies your name was Stinky?” “That was my disguise’s name, and I never told anyone to not call me Stinky. I kinda like it; it’s kind of endearing…” I dragged Soft over to me and blew a raspberry into her belly. “I’m glad you two call me by my actual name, but sometimes I just like being called Stinky.” Ms. Breeze tilted her head. “Wait, the Princesses told everypony in the castle staff that your legal name was Stinky-” “Wat?” I asked, cocking my head to the side. My maid rubbed the back of her head. “...I don’t think Celestia or Luna know your actual name,” Mom said. “I think they genuinely believe your name is Stinky.” “Oh. Can my actual name be Stinky?” I asked, tilting my head. “...If you want that, I can change it on your hatch certificate,” Flarial said, shaking her head with a small smile. “My weird, very strange Son,” she nuzzled me. “Stinky, I hope you understand how many changelings will-” “I know. Celestia joked about how I smelled like shit after.” I was hit by a newspaper for swearing.