//------------------------------//
// Snakebite 
// Story: G.I. EqG 
// by SonicSpeedster97 
//------------------------------//

Canterlot City, Virginia. By all outside appearances, a perfectly normal – if strangely secretive – secluded city. Recent reports from the rest of the nation and world have shown unusual events around the city, but no one knew what they were.
Except for those whom these events were point-blank on; a certain collection of students of the local Canterlot High School. The Rainbooms had become sort of local celebrities ever since the Fall Formal when magic first entered this world from the land of Equestria, and while very few of them were complaining, one of them did have some… concerns.
“I still find it almost impossible to believe.” Twilight had had these concerns for what must have been weeks now – ever since the incident with Wallflower Blush and the Memory Stone – but she’d held her tongue in voicing them until now. “How has no one from the government found out about our magic yet? We’re all over the internet.”
“Yeah, but have you seen some of the comments on that stuff?” Rainbow Dash pointed out as she kicked a soccer ball around. “Everyone outside town thinks that was just CGI.”
“That just confuses me more. There have to be at least a few people who believe it’s real.” Twilight pointed out. “Probably powerful people.”
“Relax, Twilight. What are you worried about; the government abducting us to experiment on our magic?” Sunset asked with a smirk. “I can tell them how badly that went for me if that happens.”
“Considering how obsessed with understanding magic I was when we first met, I doubt that’ll work,” Twilight argued, her face falling as she remembered the Friendship Games again.
“Hey now, don’t do that. Ya didn’t know what you were dealin’ with back then.” Applejack pointed out. “But now… well, I’d say we all do.” She smirked as she effortlessly hoisted a bench next to their hangout point at the statue plinth above her head with one hand.
“Yeah. I guess we do.” Twilight smiled as she floated her textbook over from her backpack with her telekinesis to start working on her homework.
“I’m afraid I have… other concerns.” Rarity remarked as she looked around. “Has anyone else gotten the feeling recently that we’re being… watched?”
“I thought you liked bein’ the center of attention, Rarity,” Applejack smirked as she set the bench down.
“Oh, I’m certainly not averse to it. I simply have a problem with feeling as though someone is stalking us.” Rarity pointed out as she looked around, her wording immediately making Fluttershy hide behind Rainbow Dash.
“Oh, thanks.” Rainbow glared at Rarity sarcastically.
Rarity realized her blunder almost immediately. “Oh dear. Forgive me, Fluttershy; I didn’t mean anything by it.”
“Y’know, I wasn’t gonna mention anything about it, but… I caught a pretty weird scent the other day.” Spike noted.
“Weird how?” asked Rainbow.
“I’m not sure how to describe it; just sort of… off.” Spike shrugged… before his nose perked. “There it is again.” Almost immediately, Spike started sniffing toward the scent, and the girls – their curiosity piqued – followed him down the street from the school.
As they walked, Pinkie Pie glanced over and saw a blonde man reading the newspaper on a bench nearby, and while he clearly didn’t have his eyes on her, Pinkie had the suspicious feeling that he was watching her and the other girls. “Is that the guy you’re smelling, Spike?” she asked jovially, pointing back at him.
Spike looked and shook his head. “No, it’s not him. But I don’t know who or what it is,” he assured… right before he bumped into seemingly nothing.
“What the…?” Sunset remarked as she looked at the space in front of the group… and saw a strange shimmer in the air in front of them which suddenly faded to reveal a strange man in tattered brown clothes and silver body armor and unusual black marks around his empty white eyes.

“Hello, lovelies,” he smirked in an accent Sunset couldn’t place – almost like a combination of who knew how many all at once.
“Where did you come from?” Pinkie asked in surprise.
“And who are you?” Rainbow asked, instantly on the defensive.
The man simply chuckled cruelly. “If I had a dollar for every time someone asked me that question, I could retire in luxury in the Bahamas,” he smirked, drawing what looked like a trench knife from his belt and holding it menacingly almost as a prompt for the girls to take a half-step back.
“And what would the answer be?” Rarity asked nervously.
“Well, truth be told, there are too many for me to choose from. I’ve used millions of names – so many in fact that I can’t really remember if any of them were mine.” the man smirked as he adjusted his grip on the knife. “But most often, I prefer to be called… Zartan. And right now… you’re my paycheck.”
“What are you talking about?” Twilight asked, curiosity filling her mind along with fear.
“All you need to know is someone’s paying me and mine a fortune to bring you in.” Zartan smiled… before he suddenly drew a curved hand cannon and pointed it at the girls. “So don’t bother trying to run; it’ll just make this more difficult.”
Another pistol cocked nearby which concerned the girls more. “Well, how’s that for funny? I was just about to say the same thing to you, Zartan.” It was the guy from the bench, wearing a Hawaiian shirt and holding a gold-plated pistol he’d clearly drawn from the holster strapped to his chest pointed at Zartan.

“What the heck is happening?” Rainbow asked seriously.
“Well, well, well. Chuckles. I should’ve figured you’d be sent out here as well.” Zartan remarked.
“You know us Joes, Zartan; we can never let you and your Dreadnoks have your fun,” Chuckles remarked.
“Oh, of course. I knew I was forgetting something.” Zartan smiled as he pressed a button on his belt before he quickly fired his pistol at Chuckles, a small grenade firing out at his feet. Chuckles barely managed to jump out of the way before it hit the ground and quickly returned fire, his bullets missing the mercenary as the girls quickly started running.
But they didn’t get far as they heard motorcycle engines and bikers whooping toward them, all of whom looked like complete savages armed with chainsaws, blowtorches, and the like. “Whatever’s going on here now, I think I speak for us all when I say I want no part of it.” Rarity pointed out.
“Don’t rightly see we got a choice. Time to power up.” Applejack said quickly as she grabbed her geode, with the others quickly following her lead and readying their powers.
Chuckles wasn’t sure what they were doing, but that was mostly because he was busy as he scowled at Zartan as they were both caught behind cover in their gunfight. “You didn’t honestly think I’d come out here alone, did you? Without the Dreadnoks?” Zartan smirked cruelly.
“If I didn’t expect it, I’d be an idiot,” Chuckles remarked and fired a quick shot at the front tire of one of Zartan’s men’s bikes, sending it spinning out and knocking the rider from the bike.

The rider in question – a surprisingly well-kempt man to be riding with this gang – brandished and revved a weapon that could best be described as a chainsaw sword and charged at the girls, but his blade was deflected by a large gem Rarity conjured between them, sending him stumbling suddenly back. “What the hell?” he asked in a surprising English accent before Applejack kicked him away, knocking him away and slamming him into his bike.
“Guess neither of us were expecting that,” Chuckles smirked at Zartan’s surprised expression before he tapped the face of his gold Rolex, making it beep. “Lift-Ticket, this is Chuckles; now would be a good time for a grand entrance.”
Zartan scowled and pointed his pistol at Chuckles before Rainbow suddenly dashed over and punched him in the face, knocking him away. “Okay, do you maybe wanna explain what’s going on here now?” she asked Chuckles in annoyance.
“Sorry sweetheart, that’s classified.” Chuckles shrugged as he spun his pistol on his finger, looking at Zartan sprawled on the ground. “You’ve got a heck of a right, by the way.”
“I’m motivated. And annoyed.” Rainbow pointed out… before a strong downward wind blew into the area.
“Well, that’s gonna disappear in a few seconds,” Chuckles smirked as a huge tandem-rotor camo-colored helicopter flew above the street, the downforce of its rotors blowing dust everywhere.

“What in Sam Hill?” Applejack asked in surprise at the sight of the chopper as she tried to hold her hat down against the wind.
The chopper landed near the girls and the side door quickly opened. “YO JOE!” A blonde man in a leather jacket yelled this as he leaped out of the chopper with a submachine gun, followed swiftly by a truly massive African-American man with a handheld M2 Browning machine gun… and what looked like a ninja with an Uzi, all of whom were laying down covering fire for the Rainbooms, forcing the Dreadnoks to take cover.



“Who are you guys?” Sunset asked the blonde man quickly.
“We’re your ride outta here,” he responded quickly. “Beyond that, you don’t need to know. Now get in the Tomahawk before you’re snake food.”
“‘Snake’?” Fluttershy asked in fear and confusion at the whole situation.
“Less flap-lip, more gunship!” the big guy with the bigger gun ordered.
Sunset wasn’t entirely sure what to make of it but shrugged as she could clearly see they didn’t have any better options. “You heard the man.” she shrugged and ran for the copter, the other girls quickly following her.
Rainbow saw this from her position and was confused but shrugged. “If I get on that chopper, you guys had better start explaining things,” she said firmly to Chuckles.
“No promises,” Chuckles responded as he ran for the helicopter with Rainbow as Zartan got up and started firing at them again. “Snake Eyes, little help here!” Almost immediately, the ninja threw a shuriken at Zartan’s hand and knocked his pistol to the ground, allowing the two to make it to the copter with the others.
“All aboard, Lift-Ticket; take us home.” the blonde ordered.

“Copy that, goin’ up. Roadblock, mind keepin’ the area cool for me?” the pilot asked with a smirk.
“Thought you’d never ask.” the big guy smirked. The Rainbooms were confused about these strange names, but they didn’t really want to ask about them when dealing with someone with a clear affinity for .50-cal machine guns as Roadblock grabbed the mounted turret in the door and started firing, along with the pilot clearly firing a Gatling gun from the cockpit, a massive boundary of bullet-holes in the ground keeping the bikers back as the copter quickly got airborne and flew away from Canterlot City.
As Zartan watched the helicopter retreat, he scowled and reached under his hood, tapping an earpiece as the sound of police sirens drew closer. “This is Zartan. We may have a problem.”