An Idiot Trio vs Equestria

by Beast Out


Chapter 8: Welcome to the Show

Shining Armour stared out the window of his office and lightly fiddled with the amulet which had been changed to look like a heart shaped locket, rather than the beetle design it sported prior, changeling magic. He was soon drawn out of his musing when he heard a knock on the door. 

"It's open."

"Hey Shiny!" 

"Cadance! What brings you here?"

"Do I need a reason to see my special somepony?"

"Well, loving me is a reason."

The Alicorn of Love giggled. "Alright smart guy, I'll give you that one. But I'm here to see you because Auntie and I think you're overworking yourself "

"Sweetie, I'm fine."

She "Well, you seem to have assigned more guards than usual. Two times more in fact. And you've even volunteered yourself. So I gotta ask. Is something wrong?"

"Nope! I just felt it was best to exercise some additional caution this year, you know?"

"Is this about the break in?"

"Whaaaaaaaaat? No!" He couldn't even keep a straight face.

Cadance didn't look convinced in the slightest.
 
Shining slumped. "Fiiiine. I had one of the assailants right in front of me, and I let him get away. They even vanished without a trace in front of the guards I trained. They were teenagers, you know. If I can't detain a bunch of punk kids how can I be expected to protect this kingdom?"

"I don't know, Shiny. But you were chosen as Captain for a reason, and one failure isn't going to change that.

"Yeah. Yeah, you're right. But still. If somecreature was bold enough to try and rob the Royal Archives in broad daylight, I don't think the Summer Sun Celebration is off limits either."

Not even a lie on Shining Armor's part. Beyond Nightmare Moon, there were several creatures he didn't even know existed who were bold (read as stupid) enough to do such a thing (One was currently stoned, another having a fullbody brainfreeze, another busy writing her meifesto and the last one playing a harmonica in order not to be eaten by Cerberus).

"Alright, I see your point. I'll let Auntie know that the changes to the roster will stay they are."

The pink alicorn turned to leave, but turned back around.

"If you ever need to talk, I'm always here, you know."

-Night time, Two Sister's Castle-

The doors to the throne room slowly opened with a low creeeeeeaaaak. The barrier Celestia had crafted began to crack. The flawless spell construct tainted by the ugly blemish. Through that crack crept a dark blue, starry most that slowly floated through the ruined castle, making its way out of Everfree and into Ponyville.

The mist flew throughout the town, almost every resident fast asleep. Soon it found what it was looking for. It slivered through an open window and into the room of a sleeping foal.

The mist acted quickly, flying into the foal's ear, and more importantly, the Dream Realm.

The mist found itself in a starry void full of bubbles. Each bubble represented the dream of an individual creature.

The mist began to shift and morph, changing its visage to something more pony like. Soon, a black alicorn in silver armor stood amongst the sea of stars and dreams.

"The Dream Realm. Thou have been missed."

Nightmare Moon scanned the dream bubbles until she found one that was not quite like the others. It was deep, smokey purple and oozed a sense of fear and melancholy.

She clutched the nightmare in her hooves and brought it to her mouth. She closed her fangs around it before spitting it back out, the bubble now a pure white dream.

Moon smiled as her mane flared like a cold flame. 

"Sleep well little pony. Thou and the rest of this kingdom are in for a big day tomorrow."

The black alicorn idly popped another nightmare into her mouth and began to watch the dreams of Equestria's sleeping inhabitants.

-6 hours later-

Luna stood atop a still ocean, looking up into a starry sky. A giant wolf made from the essence of the starlit void had curled itself around her, guarding her, making sure she didn't do anything stupid, not that she had the power to do so.

Then she felt her presence again.

"I have returned! Not that you didn't notice."

"Thy speech is strange."

The Nightmare giddily smiled. "It's how our soon-to-be subjects speak nowadays. It'd be hard to rule a kingdom that can't understand what we're saying wouldn't it?"

Luna said nothing.

Her captor sighed. "They've forgotten about us, you know."

The former diarch turned to her jailer and weakly glared at her, but ultimately cast her gaze to her own hooves.

Nightmare Moon continued.

"I searched all night. We are but a folktale parents use to scare their foals into behaving. As far as Equestria knows, Luna never even existed!"

The void shook as Nightmare seethed and her voice echoed throughout.

"Thou should remain calm. Rage will only cloud thy judgment."

"You're correct."

The dark alicorn began to focus and pour her magic into the ethereal sky. Soon, four of the many stars above them began to shine a bright, deep blue.

"Our return is imminent. Any false move could render all this work worthless."

"Doth thou really think that Equestria will accept thy rule? A hostile takeover will be met with nothing but resistance."

"It's going to be our rule. And our little ponies are going to have to live with it."

"But that isn't fair t-"

"Neither is this!" She wildly gestured to all around them. "Do you really want to stay here, never having got the respect you deserve?! Never taking back control or your moon?! Never having made Celestia pay for not being there when you needed her?! That. IS! NOT! FAIR!"

The Nightmare was now stomping her hooves like a filly throwing a tantrum, causing their shared prison to rumble.

"This is not what We wanted."

"Of course it is! That's why you made me! I-isn't it? To help you?"

-The Next Day, Ponyville-

Dartz (unicorn form) sat on a park bench and idly flipped through one of the spell books they'd taken from the castle.

"I have come to the conclusion that I can't read a single word of this."

Archer brought his talons to his cheeks in faux shock. "Are you telling me you don't know how to read a thousand year old dead language. I never would have guessed!" 

Dartz ignored him and opened up a different book. It was in the same language as the last three he'd read, but…

"Hey! This one's got diagrams!"

Kindle, who was hanging from a tree by her tail, snickered. "Still learning magic from picture books after so long?"

The changeling scoffed but smiled. "Screw you both."

Thorax (earth pony form) briefly looked up from the ducks he was feeding before sighing and going back to what he was doing.

Dartz began flipping through the pages until he finally found a spell that seemed interesting.

The first diagram of the spell depicted a pony forming an arrow (the kind you'd see on a sign) with their magic. The second showed objects being propelled into the direction the arrow pointed.

The disguised changeling lit his horn and began to focus, weaving his magic into the shape the book instructed.  

Archer stared at the forming construct and took a step back.

Dartz opened his eyes once the spell stabilized and admired his work.

Kindle got down from her perch and leaned over the bench. "So what's it do?" 

Instead of answering, Dartz picked up a random pebble and dropped it on the arrow, launching it across the park and beaning a mint green unicorn mare in the head.

"Sorry!"

"I'm okay!"

Archer sighed. "Of all the things you needed, a mass driver wasn't one of them."

By the time he'd finished his statement, Dartz had fired himself sixty meters into the air with an upward pointing arrow while Kindle flew up to catch him.

Thorax turned to the griffin and tilted his head. "Are they always like this?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

"How do you handle it?"

The griffin scoffed. "I honestly don't know."

"Hey guys!" Kindle called from the air. "We're calling the spell Arrow Launcher!"

Archer didn't dignify the statement outside of sighing.

-Dusk, Canterlot-

Shining entered Celestia's office and bowed. "Good evening, your Highness. You called?"

The Solar Mare nodded in acknowledgement. "At ease, Captain. And, yes. I've been wanting to check on you."

"Well, I'm fine, Ma'am."

Celestia didn't budge. "It just that it's been brought to my attention that you have worries about how safe the SSC will be."

"Alright, that's true. But in light of recent events, I think my concerns are valid."

"I never meant to imply they weren't, but I'm sure any issue that occurs will sort itself out eventually."

The stallion leaned back in his seat. "I sure hope you're right." 

Remembering Dartz' words, he asked a question of his own. "I hope you don't mind me asking, but have you gotten any letters from my sister recently?"

The monarch tilted her head in question. "I'm expecting one soon actually. Why?"

"It's been a bit since we last talked. What kind of brother would I be if I didn't check in every once in a while?" He asked, scratching his head sheepishly.

-Meanwhile-

A young, lavender coated unicorn mare closed the book she was reading and turned to her dragonic assistant.

"Spike, take a letter."