Why Do I Feel This Way

by TheKing2001


Chapter IX


Moondancer


“So this is the place huh?” Lyra asked as we stood in front of the orphanage we had visited recently. I grunted from the weight of my saddlebags as we entered the lobby. I had brought a few unneeded books of mine that I didn’t use to donate. Might as well let somepony else get a use out of them.

“Yep!” Minuette exclaimed with a grin as she placed her hooves on the desk.

“Adopting, visiting or dropping off?” The same pink earth pony from before asked as she lifted her head off the desk.

“Visiting again.”

“Uh huh. Sign your names on the clipboard and go through those doors.”

“Seriously?” Lyra scoffed as I signed my name and handed the clipboard to Lemon Hearts. “How often they come here and you still ask them that? You don’t recognize them?”

“Lady, I see hundreds of ponies each day. Now are you going to see some foals or are you going to talk to me all day?” The mare grumbled as she glared at Lyra.

“Come on Lyra,” Twinkleshine said as she wrapped a foreleg around our mint green unicorn friend. “Let’s go visit some colts and fillies, shall we?”

Lyra nodded wordlessly as we all trotted through the doors as the pink mare rested her head on the desk and yawned.

“Is she always such a bitch?”

“Lyra!” Twinkleshine snapped and glared at her. “Yes, yes she is, but now is not a place to talk about this.”

“Fair enough,” Lyra muttered as I looked around for Cotton Cloudy. I saw her in her typical spot once again surrounded by a bunch of books. Before I knew it, my hooves were moving in that direction. I sat next to her and levitated my new saddlebags off.

“Oh it’s you again,” Cotton Cloudy grunted as she glanced at me.

“Yep. Miss me?”

“No.”

I frowned slightly and levitated some books in front of her.

“Brought you some books. Rest of the Ender Game series. Figured they should be with somepony who will appreciate them.”

“Thanks,” Cotton Cloudy said as she closed her book and stared at me.

“Are you always this uncaring and sassy?” I asked as she gritted her teeth slightly.

“Where were you?”

“Uh where was I for what?” I asked and stared into her surprisingly bright lavender eyes.

“When the changelings attacked Canterlot,” Cotton Cloudy clarified as I sighed. I personally tried to not remember that day. It sucked to say the least. I had been captured in my house by a pair of changelings till they were blown out by some weird pink bubble thing. I should have sued honestly. It almost destroyed my house.

“I was at home. With two changelings that I tried to fight back against,” I answered as she raised an eyebrow. “Where were you?”

“Home.”

“So you weren’t always in this place?”

“Watch it,” Cotton Cloudy warned as she narrowed her eyes. “You’re getting pretty damn close to dangerous territory and I will bite you if I have to.”

I gulped nervously as she sighed and grabbed one of the books I brought along with me to give to her. Celestia knows why I did. I don’t even know why I care but I do for some reason.

“The Maretanic? The buck is that?” Cotton Cloudy demanded as I rolled my eyes.

“It was that one ship that crashed into an iceberg,” I said and rolled my hooves. “Allegedly of course.”

“Allegedly?”

“Well yeah. You got someponies who say it was on fire before-”

“Hold on. It’s a wooden boat. How in Equestria would a wooden boat survive the water after being set on fire?” Cotton Cloudy demanded as she waved her hooves in the air.

“Precisely my point,” I said as I gave a shrug. “Anyway, it’s not like we know exactly where it crashed. Who knows, maybe somepony hijacked it and slaughtered the crew?”

“That’s really dark for a filly to know,” Cotton Cloudy said as my eyes widened. I had completely forgotten about that. “Relax, don’t have a panic attack or anything like that. I read about massacres and wars all the time.”

I didn’t entirely know who thought letting her do that was a good idea. You would think they would double check the contents of the library or wherever she got these books. I can’t judge though. I accidentally read a smut novel my sister left on a desk at home and thought it was just a normal book. I still don’t think mom and dad forgave her for that.

“You’re weird, you know that?” Cotton Cloudy commented as she stood up and stretched.

“Uh thanks? I think?”

“That wasn’t a compliment.”

“You have an attitude issue you know that?” I grumbled and folded my forelegs across my chest as Cotton Cloudy nodded.

“I know. Makes ponies leave me alone but not you for some reason. You’re different than the rest and it’s weird as Tartarus. It made the rest of your posse leave me alone except for Mint Hair.”

“Mint Hair?” I asked even though I had an idea who she meant.

“Harp butt.”

“Lyra,” I clarified as she rolled her eyes. "And it's a lyre." I remember getting the two mixed up and Lyra was less than enthused. Mainly ranting for an hour about the differences between the two.

“I could care less what her name is. My question is, why do you personally keep coming back? Don’t you have like a stallion at home or a mare or a child? Most ponies either come here because it makes them feel better because their life is miserable and they need to be reassured others have it worse, they come to adopt or in my case, overlook me, or they never come back because they get depressed here,” Cotton Cloudy said as she pressed a hoof against my chest. “What do you gain from all this? What is your reason for showing up? I know Minuettes reason, but you’re different from her and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t curious about it.”

For once in my life, I didn’t have an answer and I sorely wished I did.

“I see,” Cotton Cloudy said as she gave me a smug look. “Hopefully you figure it out one day, and maybe you can enlighten me.”

“I hope so too.”

“Celestia you’re so different.”

“Isn’t being different a good thing?” I asked curiously and looked around for my friends. Lyra sat with the others as she levitated a harmonica to her mouth. For a little filly, she was scarily bright.

“Depends on the pony. For you, I guess. I was already raised to be unique be myself but I already am by being a sassy jerk and being alone because I prefer it,” Cotton Cloudy admitted as she brushed her blue mane back with a hoof. “Thanks for the books. You uh don’t want them back do you?”

“No,” I said and shook my head adamantly. “They’re yours to keep. I loved them to death as a filly and don’t really use them anymore. Time for them to go to a new home.”

Surprisingly, she didn’t have a comment like I expected. She just gave me a nod as we each opened our own books and started reading quietly.