Chapter Twelve: Empty
Princess Celestia of the sun sat silently in a dark room inside Canterlot Castle. She was in the middle of her study. Her study, for the first time in two decades, was clean. There was not a single scroll tossed to the ground. Broken Quill. Ink splatter or even her assistant pacing around with a checklist, making sure everything was in order.
The last time her study was clean, it was because there was nothing to do. It was clean today because there was nothing to do. Celestia NEEDED something to do. Anything to do. Anything to get her mind out of her thoughts. She had already recleaned her studies ten times. Thought of twenty ways to reorganize every single piece of matter in that room and then some.
Her red royal curtains had been shut, not allowing even a slimmer of sunlight through as all Celestia needed right now was work and darkness. She only had one of those requirements, making her lose her sanity.
Discord had been turned to stone again a week ago. The country was celebrating and Luna thought she needed a break so she redirected most of Celestia's workload to herself. She told Celestia to take a break. Probably hoping some time off would stabilize her sister but Celestia knew the exact opposite was happening. Luna even gave Raven the week off.
Why did she ever respond to the sun? Why was the sun talking to her? Was she mad? Was she delusional? No, no, she was bored, she was overthinking.
A burst of fire appeared above her before it formed into her phoenix Philomena, The graceful immortal creature gave a chirp of a greeting for gliding down the ground in front of her in silence. A tense silence passed between them as Philomena settled down on the floor and looked up to her longest friend with a slight tilt of her head.
"Philomena? I thought you were with your family...Why are you here?"
Philomena replied with an angry squawk and flared her wings. Celestia's face twisted from confusion to horror.
"I-what? NO! That's...Look, yes, I spoke to the 'sun.' But, it was just in my mind, there is no way it could have affected the actual sun that much, my friend, or at all. In my mind. My mind playing tricks."
Philomena replied with a few angry and not very carefully chosen retorts that did not sound like her usual joking sing-song self.
"Don't lecture me about the sun, I am connected to it as you are. Look, it's just a little difficult to accept alright. I didn't mean for the anger of the sun to burn you last week from the spat I had with...I suppose, the actual sun. I didn't realize..." Celestia's tears started to unwillingly slide down her face before she sucked in a deep breath and looked down to the floor in shame. Philomena's angry flare of her wings died down as concern started to grow for the alicorn. "Why is this happening?"
A deep sob flared from Celestia's mouth before she slumped further to the ground. Philomena cooed and moved closer to examine the alicorn as her body began to tremble.
"This is wrong, so very wrong. I can't keep faking everything, the mask is slipping so fast. The anger is becoming far too much, Philomena. I am tired. So...very...tired. I just want this to stop. I want to stop fighting the sun, the moon, the world...Everything."
Philomena had nothing to say so she stayed silent. Anything that could be said or chirped in Philomena's case was long gone. Nothing could be said to comfort an immortal being when all that could be said had already been spoken long before this time. At this point, everyone was just repeating empty words. Celestia knew this. Philomena knew this.
"Anger isn't so bad," Celestia mumbled after a moment or two. "Oh, it makes ponies do awful things but at the same time, it helps protect precious things. Such as a country. Such as family. It helps keep ponies in order when they cross the line. Sometimes, it even helps a pony be happy."
Philomena shifted uncomfortably on her spot on the red royal carpet in Celestia's study. She was a trickster at heart so she could tell when somepony was telling a joke or about to pull some prank. The scary part was, that Celestia wasn't joking. A small smile, the first real one she had seen in decades crossed the alicorn's face. It was a sinister one.
"The sun was my destiny, the sun chose to talk to me. To fight me. To argue with me about a better future. The sun is ageless, the sun was created far before you or I even existed and that means more experience. In the 'eyes' of the sun we are the mortals. We are nothing just as the ponies Luna and I guard will eventually return to the soil of this planet. The sun has always told me how to lead and I always fought but you know, recently I have seen its point of view. It has a point. It's not ideal, nothing truly ever is but it eventually becomes better."
Philomena chirped a few concerning questions back.
"What about casualties? What about Luna? What about the rage that consumes the sun? Will it consume you?"
"The sun is angry because I am not listening. I am the servant, refusing to do its bidding. Who wouldn't be angry at that? It's like a child disobeying the parent for centuries. Who wouldn't get hateful at that?" Celestia's eyes took on a glazed-over look as if she wasn't in reality anymore. "The rage will stop once the servant stops fighting. There are always casualties but ponies rise up stronger from it. Luna...will reject such an idea. She is young, she wasn't here when I had to rule alone. She is naive. She wouldn't understand and I can't force her to."
Celestia's golden magic sparked light into the room, filling the dark room with a golden glow. Philomena backed away a step when her magic flickered for a moment from golden to blood red before it died and another unnatural smile crossed the ageless face of Celestia.
"The sun is less angry."
Philomena begged her friend to reconsider. To listen to what she was saying because frankly, it was madness. Everything she was thinking was madness.