//------------------------------// // Chapter 24: Back at the Castle // Story: Black as Sin // by BearstarSeraph //------------------------------// Chapter 24: Back at the Castle   Back at the castle… “If this is about an abduction, we shouldn’t be here anymore,” Fancy Pants bowed. “By your leave, princess.” “Fleur can leave if she so desires,” Celestia said, “but you need to stay. It is about time we call Monk Pixiu back.” Fleur stepped away from her husband. “By your leave,” she bowed to Celestia. “You may go,” she nodded. Fleur left the room. Celestia poked her head out, “Please escort Monk Pixiu back in.” ~~***~~ Fancy Pants stood straight and waited for this monk to enter, a foreigner by the sound of his name and the accent he heard. He wiped the emotion from his face and waited incredulously to see this foreigner Celestia wanted to expose to a legal case of the highest magnitude. He was met with a wall of cloth. He looked up. Then up. Then up again. By the time their eyes met, his neck was vertical and his jaw on the floor.  “Greetings,” Pixiu chuckled. “I am Pixiu, a panda from Teabit.” “Yes… Yes! Welcome my jolly big fellow. I am Duke Fancy Pants. Currently acting as legal advice.” Luna chuckled at his face. “Yes. It is rare that we and my sister must look up.” Celestia was strangely somber. “Forgive me princesses, but why invite our honored guest into such sensitive legal discussions?” Fancy Pants asked. “I understand his need for public relations, but as I said before, nothing will be admissible in court.” “Fancy Pants,” Celestia smiled. “Please just trust me in this.” “I do, Princess Celestia, I do.” “Then let’s get on with the discussions.” Fancy Pants dipped his head, “Yes… your majesty.” “So,” Pixiu asked. “May Feiyu enter as well? He may be slightly arrogant, but he does have good insight.” “Of course,” Celestia nodded approvingly. Pixiu ducked under the doorframe. “Feiyu! Come here.” The cloud entered the room. “Duke Fancy Pants, this is Feiyu, my partner serving at the embassies’ shine. He’s served at our home temple for many centuries.” Feiyu flew up to his face and mimicked a nod. “Pleasure is all mine,” Fancy Pants smiled after a moment of bewilderment. Feiyu flew back to Pixiu and began rolling his clouds excitedly. Pixiu chuckled. He conversed with it in Teabitan with Feiyu twisting in response. “(I’m not going to let this humiliation stand!)” “(They don’t mean to be speciesist. Just calm down. They did not know ki existed until a few days ago. How would they know about the high temple?)” “(The princesses should know everything about the high temple! They were—)” Discord suddenly coughed. “Excuse me, Feiyu. But some things are better left unsaid.” “Oh, you speak Kintu’on?” Pixiu said surprised. “I’ve had my run ins, yes.” Feiyu flew over and suddenly formed spikes. “That was eons ago,” Discord chuckled nervously. “Can’t we just let bygones be bygones?” Feiyu flew closer menacingly. “Just because I can bleed, doesn’t mean I should,” Discord sank back into his pillow. “(Feiyu! Please. We are guests.)” Feiyu flew back and began rolling in front of Pixiu to Discord’s visible relief. “I am sorry for whatever Discord did to you in the past,” Celestia said. “But I ask for peace for the time being while we deal with what is in front of us.” Feiyu turned his “head” to Celestia, then “looked” back at Pixiu. “(I know, but let’s keep the peace. Celestia’s announcement of Discord’s taming may be delusional, but those injuries are real. And when would Discord willingly put himself in danger?)” Feiyu flew back over to Discord. “(How did you hurt yourself?)” “Saving the princesses and Vegeta from their own stupidity.” “I second the pure stupidity of the past few days,” Vegeta said. Feiyu flew over to him. “Sorry, I don’t speak Kuntu’on,” he answered. The cloud sank and flattened, then returned to Pixiu’s side. “He said let’s proceed,” Pixiu said. He smiled, “With quite the annoyed huff, I might add.” Then his face turned serious. “But the duke’s words stick with me. Why is my testimony and revealing of ki of no use?” “Because an alternate telling of events, even with its own proof, is not admissible. The only defense is proving each witness factually wrong one by one by circumstance, as they were not present at the time, etc. Their words are beyond reproach otherwise when gathered properly.” He looked at the wagon of documents, “And our opponents have every ton dotted and zef crossed from a legal perspective.” Feiyu flew in front of Pixiu. “He says guilty until proven innocent?” “I take offense to that,” Fancy Pants said. “That the prosecutor and police are given deference is common sense. No common pony of sound mind would believe the level of corruption needed for everything they are spouting to be lies would even be possible.” Pixiu looked from him to Celestia. “You have a strong sense of justice, princess. Revealing such a deep level of corruption within the—” Celestia’s ears drooped as the consequences sank in. “—police, judicial system and the government run by the nobility will cause distress in the pop…ul…” He sighed. “You haven’t even thought through the consequences, have you? And with a violent foreign power like the griffon empire deeply involved with the corrupt nobles? Unless this Bocce is of some secret importance to the empire, this was a petty request they saw no harm in granting to their allies.” “I believe in my little ponies,” Celestia answered. “This isn’t a children’s story anymore,” Vegeta said. Celestia turned around. “Then we will all freeze to death in a matter of hours. The spell Clover the Clever cast was not a one-time spell. It must be constantly maintained through trust and friendship. If it falters, we die.” “The origin story?” Vegeta asked. Celestia’s eye twitched. “I will tolerate the wording for now. But yes.” “You may trust your ponies, Celestia. But Pixiu is right,” Vegeta said. “Our enemy is the royal family you replaced that are allied with a country that has weapons you can’t counter.” “And Pinkie getting hurt just fucked up their timing.” Discord interrupted. “Celestia, I know discord better than anyone. It’s my name after all. It’s either you continue to let the nobles do what they have done for thousands of years, or we will panic them into a coup.” “And blame it all on us and Vegeta, sister. A coup to save Equestria from the darkness of its own government. First my return, then Discord, now Vegeta.” “They will turn your love and forgiveness against you,” Discord said. “Call you weak and blind.” “If those are your public attributes,” Vegeta said cautiously, “Then the coup could be framed as a rescue operation, not an overthrow. Turning you into a puppet. Cadence has an escape as a—” Flames flickered through Celestia’s hair. “Anyone who touches Twilight will BURN.” Vegeta’s ears pinned back. “Gee… maybe we should do a paternity test between the two of you…” he chuckled. Celestia’s hair instantly went out. Fancy Pants looked up. “Sky’s above stop putting me in these positions.” “I was joking!” He pointed at him, “That’s not something to joke about the Virgin Princess!” Discord snickered, then flat out laughed. “Virgin?! My first prank on her was switching the positions right before the good part! Luna had a brother for a few weeks until I reversed it.” “You never switched back Sand Dollar,” Celestia glared at him. Discord stopped laughing. “I didn’t?” “No!” she and Luna shouted at once. Discord shrank a little under his blanket from the death glares of the two mares. “Opps.” “As unusually enlightening as this is,” Pixiu raised his paw. “Let’s return to the law aspect of this. As violence never crossed your mind, you must have some legal recourse.” “We did,” Celestia said. She turned to the papers, “But they have been predicted quite well and circumvented, as Fancy Pants mentioned. At this point I am hoping presenting the judge in this case with our evidence will be enough to pressure him.” “Sounds like your plan is the both of you playing chicken with a cliff,” Vegeta said. “I don’t know what playing chicken is,” Pixiu said, “But I think I understand with the cliff. You are trying to make your opponent blink. Does that translate well?” “Yes, it does,” Celestia said. “And that is the idea that comes to mind first.” “With the newspaper I read,” Pixiu said. “I believe making you blink is the more apt use of the phrase.” Feiyu flew up again. “Feiyu wants to hear more about these false witnesses that have been lined up. And what is their punishment for false testimony?” “Death.” Fancy Pants said flatly. “Oh so first they get tortured into a false confession, then they are put to death if they come clean?!” “Stop calling it torture!” Fancy Pants snapped back. “It’s—” “If you say enhanced interrogation techniques, so help me gods, when I get my real body back, I’m punching you then Shen Long in the fucking…” Vegeta stopped mid-sentence, then he looked at Celestia. “Does double jeopardy exist for resurrecting the dead?” Pixiu said resurrection while the others said double jeopardy at the same time. Vegeta sighed. “Double jeopardy means once acquitted you cannot be retried by the government until they get the result they want, even if you confess after the fact. It also means once a punishment is served, that’s it. What I’m talking about is punishment. If someone is put to death, is their punishment completed or if resurrected, they have to keep being rekilled until it sticks?” Fancy Pants stuttered. “WHAT BLACK MAGIC IS THIS?!” he finally shouted after his tongue reconnected to his brain. “I wouldn’t say that to the Divine Dragon’s face,” Vegeta said. “Shen Long gets pissy.” “A black dragon exists on your planet?!” “WHAT PART OF DIVINE DID YOU NOT HEAR?!” Feiyu suddenly jumped in front of Vegeta, spinning wildly. “We would both like to know about this divine dragon that can resurrect the dead,” Pixiu said walking over to the bed, his bulk making everyone back out of his way. ~~***~~ As the three-way conversation continued, Discord got a wild grin on his face, Fancy Pant’s eye started twitching, and Celestia and Luna both summoned papers and quill at the same instant. They glanced at each other briefly, surprised, but then started scribbling notes. Eventually Feiyu moved to “look” at Pixiu. “(Sounds like this dragon is no different than—)” “HEY! HEY!” Discord shouted suddenly. “Bad cloud! Bad! Shut up! Your mom will be pissed.” Feiyu turned into a ball of spikes and flew over. “I’m not backing down,” he said forcefully, staring it down. “You KNOW better.” “Excuse me,” Pixiu came over. “You said ‘will’ not ‘would’. Has the Mother of the Skies finally returned?” Feiyu suddenly drew in his spikes and got close to the left side of Discord’s face. Discord nervously glanced at Celestia as Feiyu began hopping up and down and doing loops. She glared at him. “Ahem,” Celestia coughed as Pixiu and Feiyu hugged and danced around. “While I see the joy of the return of this ‘Mother of the Skies’… we are already burning daylight that should have not existed in the first place.” The two instantly stopped and looked at Celestia, then glanced at a confused Luna, then turned back to look at Discord. Discord crossed his arms and raised his eyebrow. Celestia scribbled down one last note before shuffling the papers. “So, Vegeta. You’re saying that if this wish is structured correctly, everyone who was forced can be separated from those who willingly lied?” “As far as I know. There might be some stipulation over lawful executions, but it's not like they will all die before Kakarot gets here, and he can relay the message to Dende.” “Yes,” Luna interjected, shuffling her papers as well. “You said both Earth’s and Namek’s dragons have been altered in your lifetime. And that the delay varies based on the maximum used and if the wish requires more magic than normally allotted to a single wish?” “And…” Celestia took a deep breath. “Joe, can be brought back from the dead?” “Him I am 100% sure of. A simple violent murder by a gun. No complications.” Celestia shocked everyone by wiping her eyes. She sighed and gave a relieved smile. “Yes. And with this we have our ace in the hole. There are so many new options now. We can even call their bluff. 84 lives vs one.” Celestia’s smile took a slightly more sinister look. “They won’t get away with this, Joe. I’ll rip this cancer out of my kingdom once and for all. I’ll make it safe. Then you and everyone else will come back to a safer world.” “Ummm… sister? We understand your excitement. But let’s—” “Princess,” Fancy Pants suddenly spoke. The sisters looked at him surprised that he interrupted. He was much closer to the door than they remembered. “I believe this current turn of events is beyond my expertise,” he said, backing away to the door. “As such, I must regretfully withdraw my counsel. By your leave.” Instead of bowing or waiting to be dismissed, he ran. Luna stuck her head out the door and caught a glimpse of his tail rounding a corner. She looked back inside, “Sister, I believe we overwhelmed the poor stallion.” Celestia came to the door, “Guards. Send word to the guards stationed at the duke’s suite. No messages get in or out.” “Yes, Princess!” they saluted and Celestia reentered the room as they chose who to send to the Lunar Tower. Celestia’s slightly off grin returned. “Now, let’s plan this out.” “Now, just because the option exists does not mean we should allow needless death to happen,” Pixiu said, crossing his arms. Feiyu nodded next to him. “I have no intention to do more harm than needed,” Celestia said, offended. “But in the quest to cure a cancer…” She narrowed her eyes. “The treatment is not always pretty in the short term.” Celestia lit her horn and a green wall covered the door. “A sound shield, sister?” Luna said, surprised. Celestia ignored the question. “First, let’s assume the griffons are backing the old royal family. We need to arrange this to look like a lost cause so they withdraw support, leaving the Gleanings flanks exposed. We already have a solid link to these guns from the east to the west, and when the girls return, I know we’ll have an even greater one. They would obviously already know its wounds can’t be closed by magic,” She looked at Vegeta, “but they don’t know about ki.” She looked at Pixiu, “Even if healing with ki doesn’t exist here, they don’t know that, but they soon will regardless once contact is established with this Earth. I’m sure the East would be eager to learn how it’s done.” Pixiu nodded. “The ability is known, but is exceedingly rare. Even I, a kintu’on rider, cannot do it. It has been many generations since a powerful healer of the prestige Vegeta described existed.” Celestia nodded. “We know about the guns. We know how to treat and heal the wounds. We have the backing of the nations who originated both. And the surrounding nations will know what they have. The griffons will realize they have lost any advantage. Pressing that button over and over combined with the staff change over in a few days will cause a retreat. Now, we have other intelligence that the empire is gathering unknown allies for a possible war with Equestria. It is fresh, barely a day old, so we have nothing else. But if we convince the griffons this incident has sabotaged their efforts, they won’t take kindly to it. Let’s plan for the riots Duke Poppycock could try to manifest, and an evacuation of the palace in case this coup materializes. With us from above, the Golden Circle screaming for vengeance from below, and the beaks of the empire nipping at their flanks, we’ll destroy them.” She took a calming breath, “Then. Then we can turn our full attention to the empire and pluck its feathers.” Discord shivered, “Oh that’s the side of you two I never wanted to see again.” Feiyu got Pixiu’s attention and directed him to look at Vegeta, who had a grin and murderous gleam of adoration in his eyes. He sighed, “And this Golden Circle is who?” “A mediation council created to prevent wars between major crime families,” Celestia said. “If something important happens that will affect stability, like the harassment and murder of members by nobles, they contact me and we find solutions that are discreet and as close to legal as possible.” “I take back what I said about your dedication to justice,” he scolded. “I am nigh immortal,” Celestia said, “I worked generations to rip them away from the nobles and have them come to me instead. And I will continue to work to co-op them and ultimately make legitimate alternatives as time progresses. But right now, they want revenge. And as Discord and Luna have pointed out, I need to keep my white fur as pristine as possible. It has considerably darkened as of late.” “And here they all said you were the goddess of kindness,” Vegeta chuckled. Celestia raised her head high. “I am also the pony who single hoovedly destroyed the previous Great Gryphon Empire and chased them back to their nests.” She gave a full psycho smile, “No one kills one of my little ponies and gets away with it.” ~~***~~ The meeting adjourned until Twilight and Cadence returned. Celestia and Luna entered the hallway to Celestia’s bedchambers. “How long should we handle the raising and lowering?” Luna asked as they came to the door. The guards saluted as they entered. The door closed behind them. “Do you want a long night to match—” Celestia unceremoniously fell on her rump. “Coffee. I need coffee. My anger has run out…” Luna trotted over to her coffee maker hidden in a cabinet. “Yes, we noticed. While our memories are much fresher, seeing Discord’s reaction Pixiu’s disapproving glare just reminds me of how much we have missed…” She said floating the maker out and plugging it in. She went to grab a bag, and her ears fell. “Ummm… Sister….” She came over floating the small bag. “You only have one left…” She held it up to her sulking sister. The label said “Donut Joe’s Eternal Sunshine Blend: Celestia Approved.” “Do you want us to make it or…” Celestia suddenly ripped it from her magic. “No,” she said standing up. “I’ll keep this as a memento…” She walked slowly across the room, staring at the bag. ”I know Vegeta said he’s coming back… but I just… just in case…” She came to a wall and lifted the tapestry. Luna gasped at the medallion on the wall. “Starswirl’s extra spectral room? How? It was embedded in the wall of his chambers.” “Look at the stonework, Lulu,” she said as she poured her magic into the medallion. “Did… Did you bring the entire wall?!” “If there is a will, there is a way,” Celestia said as the magic door opened. The two went into the portal. “Oh my baby stars,” Luna said looking around at the messy desk and bookshelves. “It hasn’t changed a bit.” “He always was particular about his preservation magic. No matter what you do, it always finds itself back where he wanted it.” “OUR ROOM!” Luna charged past her. She swung it open. Luna spun around looking at everything. “It’s exactly the same…” she said mournfully. She then went to a chest painted with rainbows and clouds. “Our toys…” she said, floating up some colorful wooden blocks and a leather ball. She chuckled, holding back tears. “What do you think modern Equestria would think of us now if we trotted around with leather items?” “That’s what he made these rooms for. For us to be children away from the old rulers and nobles trying to control us.” “Under his strict supervision so we studied first,” Luna said, putting them away. “We tried so hard… but you never needed to study. You read something once or saw something once and it was yours forever.” “But memorization is not learning,” Celestia put her wing over her, “I would have failed horribly without you there when we were left alone.” “We wonder what your room looks like now after a thousand years…” Celestia looked down at the bag again. “Don’t hate me Luna…” ~~***~~ They entered the room. Luna looked around and Celestia walked on. “Tis not too different,” she said. Then she saw Celestia walk up to a red cabinet. “Is that your memento cabinet for Sand Dollar and Sundial? You enlarged it. Why?” Celestia undid all the magical locks. “You shoved everything on the top shelves?” she said, surprised. Then she looked where Celestia placed the bag. Luna’s fur puffed up and she spread her wings. “Why are there two sets of wedding rings?! Sister…” Luna devolved into random stuttering and sounds. Celestia laughed sorrowfully. “You sound like Twilight…” Luna looked over the new items. She saw wedding photos with a pink unicorn. “You shapeshifted?! Did he even know?” “Yes, he found out, no thanks to Raven. He asked me to marry him… And I panicked like an idiot. I used the excuse of the sterility clause to ask myself permission. He offered to come to the palace with me to show me how much in love we were. “I disappeared for a week… but then he came to personally deliver his coffee in hopes to see me. The guards knew my disguise so they guided him in. But the inner staff had no clue, and by the time I heard he was in the palace, the guards and Raven were in a heated discussion about my existence.” She sighed, “Part of my ponysona was being a bit of a klutz. But between my panicked running and the newly waxed floors… I pulled a Twilight and slid across the floor into a table and vase… It took everything I had to not burst into tears when I saw his face.” She wiped her eyes. “I was able to gracefully invite him to tea and get him alone for a while as the staff ran around…. He just tried to act cool and just said ‘Soooooo… Pink Dawn… right?’ “I cast the spell quickly then back. All I could do was squeak out ‘Forgive me…’ And he said on one condition. I said anything.” She looked at a paper bag. “He held up his little bag shaking in his magic and said ‘Officially sponsor your blend when I go and sell it and we’ll call this even.’ “I hung my head and agreed. Then he called me Dawn and told me to look at him.” She then looked at the flower preserved in magic. “Then he pulled the flower that had been in my hair the whole time, held it up to me and said, so cool, ‘Ya know, you haven’t answered me yet.” She shook her head. “I forgot my size and bowled him over to kiss him. Then as we were both laughing at my stupidity, we heard, “I told you she was bucking the coffee guy!’ from out in the hallway. I looked over the table and saw the staff at the door…” she blushed embarrassed, “And I saw money changing hooves!” She picked up several miniature books and expanded them to full size. “And that’s why my side of the wedding is all the serving and kitchen staff.” Celestia started crying as she opened one of the albums. Luna stopped her. “Tia… We loathe to say the obvious here…but—” “I know, Lulu. This changes everything. The death of a royal puts the case squarely in the castle jurisdiction. But we chose secrecy. And he’s coming back. And even if that wasn’t an option, we promised.” Luna pulled her in with her leg then wrapped a wing over her. “We will keep thy secret. And will look forward to formally meeting him as our brother-in-law.” ~~***~~ In the staff dormitory, the disguised Dalibor and the changeling were gathered with the other interns and their seniors reading the second newspaper of the day. “Ok this is griffon droppings,” the reader tossed the paper on the floor. “I can’t read it anymore.” “Do… do they even know?” one stallion said, panicking. “Should we leave the city? Celestia is going to burn Canterlot to the ground.” “If the poor saps were no one of importance, she would have done it already,” another said. “This is big. It’s a noble, and an important one.” Dalibor picked up the paper from the floor. “Why would the princess burn the capital to the ground? What’s going on?” “Celestia is married to Donut Joe,” a mare said. “All the servants were at the secret wedding.” “What?!” all the interns shouted, except Dalibor and the changeling. “What about this Duke Poppycock?” the changeling asked cautiously. “Fancy Pants is a known favorite of Princess Celestia.” “If it’s him we're doomed,” a waiter began to panic, “He’s the leader of the old unicorn royal family faction.” “I thought that was Blueblood?” it asked. Another mare rolled her eyes. “He’s so wrapped up in the palace, I doubt he’d even know that the sun shines outside the castle walls.” “He’s not an idiot,” another waiter defended him, “Celestia had him walk her down the aisle. He may not be the lover the nobles whisper about, but he’s in bed deep with the princesses. I don’t remember anyone from Duke Poppycock’s camp ever saying more than a curt pleasantry to him before parting ways in my 16 years on the front line.” “Is Equestria about to fall apart again? This time in a civil war?” Dalibor asked. “Like I said, Canterlot is going to burn. No one can go against Princess Celestia.” Dalibor weighed his next words as the conversation continued. “What about the weapon that hurt Pinkie Pie?” he said carefully. “The one that could not be healed except by trying to twist dark magic into a healing spell? The one that almost cost the dark mage his life?” “Don’t be silly,” the changeling said. “If they had a weapon capable of that, they wouldn’t have wasted its first use on Lady Pinkie Pie.” “She’s right,” one said. “But they still have something that took dark magic to fix,” another voice quivered. “Who did they make it for?” “Maybe it was for the bearers after all? To neutralize the elements? A wound that even Celestia can’t heal.” As the conversation turned in this new direction, Dalibor looked out the window at the still sunny sky. And the changeling was looking at him. “He doesn’t taste right…” it thought. “It’s not the same stress and fear of the others. “…Is he another spy?” ~~***~~ “What do you mean Prince Blueblood was at his wedding?!” The black clothed griffon showed Ambassador Irmhild the wedding albums. Even with a different cutie mark, he knew that infuriating stallion’s face anywhere. He flipped through the pages. “He walked the bride down the aisle?! Who is she?” “The marriage certificate says Pink Dawn, but we have found nothing else. But Prince Blueblood’s father was known for—” He slammed his clawed fist on the desk. “I don’t want speculation. I want facts!” He pointed at the door “Get out!” An aide came into the room next and saluted. “Sir, a message from Emperor Aurelius has arrived.” He placed the diptych on the desk and left. Horror dawned on Irmhild’s face as he realized dawn was now two hours late in the imperial capital. ~~***~~ A very confused unicorn was looking around the latest place he found himself in. He looked down at his hooves then back at his flank. The rear of legs and flanks still whisped into clouds and his tail was nonexistent. “I’m told your name is Donut Joe.” He looked forward at more bipeds sitting at a table. The afterlife was strangely full of bipeds. At least the flowers and grasses of the eternal fields were as delicious as he was told they would be. “Yes… and you are more kais?” he asked nervously. “Yes,” the biped stood from his chair, “I am the current Supreme Kai.” He gestured to the old one, “This is my predecessor, please refer to him by the title of Elder Kai.” “Come sit with us,” Elder Kai said, gesturing at a low chair with pillows. Donut Joe sat nervously. “I was told the overseers wanted to talk with me?” “Yes,” the Supreme Kia said sitting back down, “We are the overseers of all creation.” Elder Kai chuckled at the look on his face. “Most religions are not fully accurate about this far up and away from the normal experience of mortal souls.” “I meant no disrespect.” “And none is taken,” the Supreme Kai said. He looked at Donut Joe expectantly. There were a few moments of silence. “So… what did you want to talk to me about?” “Everything.”