The first surprise is that you find yourself surrounded by humans.
The second is that you’re not at the convention, unless it suddenly moved to a shopping mall full of people as colorful as ponies.
The third is that this mall is packed. There must be a truly ridiculous sale, because you’re buffeted on all sides by eager shoppers who have apparently never heard of e-commerce.
You fight your way through the crush to the first chair you can find to gather your bearings, collapsing into it and waiting for the world to stop spinning.
Biting sarcasm breaks you out of your reverie. “Sure, dude, no one’s sitting there, feel free.”
You look up. You’ve ended up in the food court, and sitting on the opposite side of the little plastic table is a girl who might pass for the local Pinkie. At least, she would if the local Pinkie had green hair and hadn’t nearly trampled you a minute ago while holding eight bags’ worth of party supplies. The girl in front of you is familiar, but you can’t quite place her…
She pulls one of her headphones off an ear, her scowl deepening as you continue to stare at her.
“Sorry,” you say, “I just got here and…” You trail off as you register the rest of the scene. On the table, beside the tray holding her burger, is one of the Pages. And she’s already been writing on it. With a pink gel pen.
You give your best disarming grin. “So, uh, having fun?”
Going by the half-lidded glare, she isn’t. “Look, pal, I don’t know what pickup artist taught you how to work a brush, but right now you’re applying clown makeup.”
Okay, so Pinkie-adjacent in appearance and weird lines of thought, but not attitude. “I think we got off on the wrong foot. Like I said, I just got here and wasn’t expecting the crowd.” You introduce yourself and extend a hand. “Yourself?”
She raises an eyebrow, but still holds out a fist. You obligingly bump it. “Lemon Zest.”
That’s it, one of the Crystal Prep girls. “What are you writing?” The damage has already been done. Best to get the specifics, especially if you can find a way to turn it to your advantage.
“Lyrics.”
Your eyebrows rise. “You’re a musician?”
She smirks and pulls down the other headphone. Heavy metal leaks out at such high volume, it’s a miracle she isn’t already half-deaf. “I dabble. Especially after the whole mess at the Friendship Games. Sure, it was terrifying, but it was also metal as all get out.”
“I heard about that,” you say with a nod. “Definitely sounds like it.”
“Heck yeah. Magic angel laser fights that shatter reality itself tend to be.”
Well, she’s smiling. Might as well tear off the bandage. “I should probably warn you that the paper you’re writing on is magical in its own right.”
“Yeah, I figured as much when my pen started smoking.” She waggles it for emphasis. “Seems like the page got used to it after a few lines. What’s it do?”
Before you can say anything, she grins. “Wait, better idea, don’t tell me. I wanna see for myself. Tell me where to go with the chorus instead.”
You turn to the actual writing. It’s a vivid description of a showdown between light and darkness, with more puppies involved than the average song of its genre. You can’t even make out the text underneath; this one’s already set to change wildly. The best you can do now is decide on the specifics of that change.
[CHOICE] Which way do you go?
> Maximum Psychedelia (Chaos)
> Maximum Brutality (Villain)
[ENDING A: CHAOS]
“Make it weird,” you say.
Lemon frowns, tapping her quill against her chin as she thinks. “King Scarlet weird or Cheese Sandwich weird? Because I can’t play the accordion.”
After everything you’ve seen the Pages do, you know exactly what to say. “Make it as weird as you find magic.”
You can practically see the inspiration light up her eyes. One hand steadies the page as the rest of whatever text was on it before gets covered in pink. Smoke starts pouring out of her pen again.
It smells like lemons.
***
The heavens shook. The world shuddered. The fundamental wrongness of Midnight Sparkle made both student bodies flinch back from the raven-winged monster.
All but Sunset Shimmer. She knew what she needed to do. From all she had learned from Celestia, from Princess Twilight Sparkle, from her friends, she knew it all came to a head here. As Midnight broke reality apart to get to Equestria, Sunset held the magic-draining compact aloft, focusing power into the only thing that could stand up to such a being.
The burst of light made everyone avert their eyes, Midnight included. “What foolishness is this, Sunset Shimmer? Trying to stop me from getting the answers I deserve? Again?”
“It’s not about what you deserve, Twilight. It’s about what you need.” The light receded as the cracks in existence healed. “You need to stop before you do something you’ll regret. I can help.” Sunset rose to Midnight’s altitude, glittering and brilliant.
Midnight sneered. “The best way you can ‘help’ is to get out of my way!” She punctuated that with a burst of energy that could reduce Sunset to fundamental particles.
In any other circumstance, it would have. Instead, it splashed off her sequined bodysuit like water off a duck. Midnight flinched back, shocked. “What?”
“It’s too late, Twilight.” Sunset spread her bangled arms, summoning forth a golden grid just beneath them. It flashed in regular patterns of lights. Below the two ascended girls, Vinyl Scratch and Lemon Zest traded nods and prepared the equipment Pinkie Pie kept stashed on Canterlot High’s front yard for music emergencies.
Sunset landed, platform heels clacking on the magical dance floor. “I have already invoked the Dueling Rites of Star Swirl the Funky. Only styling on the other may do them harm. May the best moves win.”
And Midnight’s jaw dropped with the bass.
[ENDING B: VILLAIN]
After a bit of thought, you grin. You’re not entirely sure this will work, but it’s worth a try. “On a scale from one to ten, how metal would you say it was?”
Lemon takes a moment to consider that. “Well, again, magic angel laser fight. On the other hand, it ended with literal puppy-dog eyes and being told we’re all winners. Call it six out of ten?”
“What if it were a ten?”
“Oh.” Lemon nods, then keeps nodding, bobbing her head in time with her music as she slips her headphones back on. “Even better, let’s go one louder.”
She writes like a maniac, with the occasional sound effect or gestured explosion. You sit back and watch the fireworks.
***
It had seemed like a good idea in principle: Use Twilight’s device and more voluntarily-sourced magic to fight Midnight on her own terms.
What Sunset hadn’t considered was that she’d seen what the device did to people, and she knew what happened when she took in too much power at once.
The good news was that the raging she-demon was still more interested in taking down Midnight than controlling anyone’s mind and marching on Equestria. The bad news was that neither was paying much attention to collateral damage.
“Okay,” Rainbow Dash said as the Rainbooms ran from the battleground. “What’s Plan C?”
A low rumbling answered her. Applejack looked back, winced, and brought her eyes back forward. “Half the school just fell through a portal. I think Plan C’s ‘survive,’ Rainbow.”
“Well, I do have this one idea,” said Pinkie, “but we’d need at least fifty pounds of flour and the Cakes won’t let me use the café for emergencies anymore.”
“Can we please just keep running?” cried Rarity, who was doing her best in heels.
Fluttershy, who’d been keeping up quite nicely, darted ahead of everyone else and threw out her arms. The others stumbled to a stop, all gasping for breath to varying degrees.
Rainbow Dash furrowed her brow “Why’d you—”
The crazed girls slammed down just ahead of them, cracking the asphalt but thankfully not reality. The she-demon grinned triumphant over Midnight, whose wings bent at painful-looking angles and whose face was an inch deep in the road. A muffled “Ow” came a moment later.
“Oh.” Pinkie gave what was a cautious smile for her. “I guess that worked out!”
“Quite well.” The demon grinned, or at least bared her fangs, and turned towards them. “Now. My friends.” Her eyes began to swirl with power, and the others found they couldn’t look away. “Won’t you help me take the next step?”