//------------------------------// // Scattered Pages: Derplication // Story: Dueling Keyboards // by FanOfMostEverything //------------------------------// You pass through another portal and find yourself just outside of a Sugarcube Corner. Seeing no sign of zombies, post-apocalyptic raiders, or fad dieters, you breathe a sigh of relief and let yourself in. What lies in wait is arguably even more terrifying: an entire flock of pegasi all shouting over each other in heated debate, all of them with gray coats, blonde manes, and seven-bubble cutie marks. ding-a-ling Well, they had been arguing until you came into the restaurant, at which point all of the faces and half of the golden eyes turned to you. “Oh good,” says one, “somepony who isn’t us. We needed a neutral third party.” You take a wild guess. “Best muffin flavor?” Looks of shock fill the room. “No!” says another mare. “That would be like getting ponies to agree on pizza toppings times a thousand.” “We’re just trying to settle what our name is,” says a third. “And it’s Derpy Hooves.” “That’s a demeaning nickname!” cries another. “We’re Muffins!” “That’s reductive!” comes the rejoinder. “We’re Ditzy Doo!” “That’s worse than Derpy! We’re Bright Eyes!” “Um, Bubbles?” “Also reductive. We’re the Companion.” “One, we are not defined by a stallion. Two, I’m Gallopfreyan.” “Desiderata!” “Dulcinea!” “Dawn’s Early Rays of Perfect Yellow!” As the debate resumes, you spot it on the one table not covered in crumbs, cupcake wrappers, and gray feathers: A Page of the Book of All Stories, with a quill and inkwell next to it. You move through the flock until you can read it. It details how a bystander dove in front of Princess Twilight at the Festival of Friendship, sparing her from a petrification curse and giving her the chance to escape the Storm Forces’ invasion to find help. But it only ever uses that bystander’s name once, and it’s been reduced to a faint, illegible smear. You could write over the smudge. You could also write over the rest of the page. One of the pivotal moments in Equestria’s history lies before you… but with this mare, nothing ever seems to go as planned. [CHOICE] What do you do? > Fill in the blank. (Hero) > Smudge the page more. (Chaos) > Rewrite it entirely. (Villain) [ENDING A: HERO] The temptation barely phases you; you just focus on settling the ongoing debate. And of course you know her actual name! Who doesn’t? It goes without saying. You grab the quill, move it towards the inkwell and— Oops. Your bad. There goes ink across the table, every which way but the Page itself. You consider the still-dry quill in your hoof, then the track record of the mare surrounding you. “You know what?” you say. “Maybe we should leave it as it is.” “But none of us even know who we are!” cries one pegasus. You shake your head. “You all do. You may not agree with each other, but you wouldn’t be having this argument if you didn’t all know what your name should be. It’s the Book of All Stories. There are going to be inconsistencies.” The mares murmur amongst themselves. Most don’t look convinced. “And hey,” you add, “this way it can’t get any worse.” The fwoomph of a fire bursting to life underscores your comment. Everypony turns to see one mare scrunching her muzzle at a cup of tea she’d been pouring herself, now merrily burning away. “Yeah, you may have a point,” allows another. A cheerful ding makes every ear in the Corner point towards the kitchen. “And the next batch of muffins is ready!” You quietly put the Page out of harm’s way as a batch of blueberry chocolate-chip muffins is greeted with the praise and enthusiasm usually reserved for Celestia herself. (+1 page for Heroes) [ENDING B: CHAOS] You grin. Fun as this mare arguing with herselves is, it won’t take much to make this really interesting. “Hey, before I fix this,” you say, “is it okay if I have a muffin?” “Sure,” says one of the pegasi, pushing one to you. “We’ve got plenty.” Banana nut. Perfect. You grin as you peel off the wrapper, moisture and oil clinging to it. “Thanks.” Then you apply the wrapper to the Page, wiping carefully at a few words. “Hey!” “What are you doing?” “Be careful!” You shrug. “Hey, why should you be the only one who has to deal with this?” You scribble in two names before you can get dogpiled: The one you know to be hers, and another you know to be somepony else’s. Even those adjustments are enough for the rest of the page to twist and warp… Grubber rushed out of the airship as quickly as he could, eager to serve as his glorious mistress’s herald. “Ponies of Equestria! We come on behalf of the fearsome, the powerful, the almighty Storm King! And now, to deliver the evil, evil message, put your hooves together for Commander Fizzlepop Berrytwist!” One of the future slaves gasped. Between blinks, a vision in pink was on the gangplank, closer to Commander Berrytwist than she ever allowed anyone. “That is the best. Name. Ever!” The commander narrowed her eyes, horn crackling. “If you don’t get away in the next five seconds, I’m— hrk!” As it turned out, discipline, dedicated training, and stormforged armor were no match for the power of a Pinkie Pie hug. From there, the entire invasion found itself on the back foot, especially when the princesses who were supposed to give the Storm King yet more power started blowing up airship envelopes. In the end, the Festival of Friendship was salvaged, Fizzlepop reintegrated into Equestrian society after her ribs mended, and the Storm King was eventually vanquished the next time he set his sights on Equestria. Only years later would Princess Celestia realize she hadn’t heard from Queen Novo in literal decades. (+1 page for Chaos) [ENDING C: VILLAIN] Is it not kind to spare her the pain? Is it not generous? Taking a blow for a princess is a sad excuse for a finest moment; surely she’d prefer a happier memory. Maybe that’s how you justify your actions. Maybe you resent the deus ex machina. Maybe you just want to see what happens. Whatever the case, you grab the page and run, darting from portal to portal until you lose the flock of cross-eyed pursuers. Once you do, a few select negations have Princess Twilight take the hit at the Friendship Festival as Tempest intended. And the prose below shifts… It would have been incredibly close timing. It doesn’t take much for the pegasus to be just a moment too late, for the gem full of hostile magic to find its target and seal Equestria’s fate. … but with this mare, nothing goes as expected. She still reaches Twilight, but a shift in trajectory has her accidentally push the princess into the gem. And then Twilight, dumbfounded by the accident, wings spread in shock and already encased in stone, propelled by a mare who air-delivers pianos and anvils, keeps going. Directly in the path of Tempest Shadow, still in freefall after roundhouse kicking the enchanted emerald. Commander and princess collide, then bounce. The still active petrification spell cements Tempest to her quarry, and the two of them careen into her personal airship. It’s Tempest’s own jagged horn-stump that breaks through the envelope. Normally, that wouldn’t be a concern. There are all kinds of redundancies and safety measures in place. But with She of the Seven Bubbles, nothing goes as expected… and the Storm King has been known to cut corners in the name of profit. The gasbag bursts, and the two-pony projectile keeps going, pinballing across the armada and the city, leaving destruction in its wake the likes of which no one, Equestrian or Storm Forces, has ever seen. And the one who started the reaction looks at the other petrified princesses, at the horrified Bearers of Harmony, at the bestial invaders who are starting to rouse themselves. Rainbow Dash’s angry tirade gets drowned out by screams as an airship crashes into a Storm Force battalion, taking Restaurant Row with them. It’s probably for the best. All the perpetrator can do is offer a sheepish smile and say the first thing that comes to mind. “I just don’t know what went wrong.” (+1 page for Villains)