//------------------------------//
// Agnitio Dator 
// Story: Pinkie & the Brain 
// by ItsDoctorWhooves 
//------------------------------//


Agnitio Dator


"There's a what on my what?" Pinkie asked, not quite taking in what Twilight had said.

"There. Is a demon. On your head." Twilight spoke flatly, like she was stating the simplest of truths in the universe.

Pinkie went... well... Pinkie. 

"Ohmygoshohmygoshgetitoffofmeaahhhhhhhhhhhh" She screeched, her words combining together like ice cream in a blender. "Whatdoyoumeanthereisademononmyheadisitmyhairohmygodibetit'smyhairwhatdidIdoohIknewIshouldn'thaveletthatnewhairdresserdoanythingtoitohpicklestwilightwhatamIgoingtodooooo..."

"Pinkie!"

"IsitabloodsuckingdemonohIbetit'sgoingtosuckmedryohmygosh"

"Pinkie Pie!" Twilight screamed at the top of her lungs, letting lose a wave of magical energy to ensnare the frantic 'blender'. 

Pinkie whimpered. "Wh-what do you mean there's a demon on m-my head..."

Twilight bites her lip slightly. "Oh, I was lying. I just wanted to see how you would react."

Pinkie Pie lets out a sigh of relief. "Twilight! You scared the living hay out of me!"

"Yeah. Feel better?"

Pinkie nods.

"Good, because that was to calm you down. Okay, Celestia has been giving me lessons on Romane Mythology, and there's a lot of stories about demons." Twilight explains, saying everything as fast as she could so she could make her point before Pinkie realized what she was saying.

"Wait you lied to m—hmpphhh" before Pinkie could start rousing herself up into another freak-out, Twilight conjured the most useful substance in the world to stop her from talking...

...duct tape!

"Anyway..." Twilight continued. "After Fluttershy told me about your horn, I has assumed that it was just some sort of toy that you had bought. Enchanted little trinkets like that are pretty common, actually. But, once Applejack started raving about how you fixed her barn in less than five seconds... well... I got a little suspicious."

"Mmmphmmpmhpppmmhph?" Pinkie pondered intelligently. 

"Er... okay...?" Twilight honestly had no idea what Pinkie Pie had said.

"Mmpph—" Pinkie rolled her eyes as her horn began to shine a brilliant pink. The wave of silky magical energy flowed over the duct tape like warm water, and pulled it right off of her face. 

"Suspicious?" Pinkie asked, before replacing the duct tape right over her mouth.

Twilight stared at Pinkie. Not because of the magic... but more so because she couldn't comprehend why somepony who could get duct tape off of their mouth would willingly put it back on.  "Uh, yeah. Magical artifacts that powerful don't really... exist."

Pinkie removed the tape again. "What do you mean? Then how do I have this one?"

"Well, because that's a demon." Twilight said flatly.

Pinkie had forgotten about that for the time being... yet, sadly, Twilight seemed to have reminded her.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEmpmpmpmpmmpphhh" Once pinkie began screaming, Twilight countered her magic with her own, holding the duct tape to Pinkie's frantic lips.

"I read some books that Celestia gave me, and I learned about demons who disguise themselves as powerful artifacts. They were extremely common back before Canterlot's government was established over Equestria, as raw power used to give a pony political power." Twilight explained, the explanation more for her own benefit then Pinkie's.

Pinkie didn't seem to be listening. She was too busy wishing that she was able to scream.

Fed up with Pinkie's outbursts, Twilight ended her speech. "Do you recognize the name: Agnitio Dator?"

Pinkie Pie suddenly stopped, nodding a frantic 'Yes' at Twilight.

"Okay... good... where did you hear it?"

"IhearditinadreamthatIhadthiscreepythingsaiditanditscaredthelivingpicklesoutofmeohmygoditwassosca—"

"Say it slowly, Pinkie Pie" the aggravated lavender unicorn suggested.

Pinkie took a deep breath, calming her screaming synapses with much needed oxygen. "Okay, I had this dream a few nights ago. It was really creepy, and this thing told me its name was Agnitio Dator. Fluttershy told me it translated to Bringer of Knowledge. It spoke to me—"

"—a day or two after you got the horn." Twilight finished.

"Uh, yeah. How did you..."

Twilight took in a deep breath. "Agnitio Dator is an obscure demon... but it's still a powerful one."

Pinkie gulped, biting her lip.

"It's called the Bringer of Knowledge because... that's what it does." Twilight scratched her chin, looking for a way to explain. "Quick, what's the square root of Pi?"

"One-point-seven-seven-two-four-fi— oh wow." Pinkie crossed her eyes. "I never did that well in math class..."

"Precisely. Agnitio Dator gives you the intelligence of a Romane Fillysopher." 

"So why is he... she... oh hay what gender is this thing. Why is it a bad thing?"

Twilight bit her lip. "It drains your life away. Many Romanes used to call it things like 'headcrab'. Those who it binds to tend to only live half-lives."

"WaitsothatmeansthatitISavampireohmygodisitsuckingmyblo—" Pinkie Pie interrupter herself, taking another deep breath. "So how do we get it off?"

"Well, that's the tricky part. Agnitio Dator binds to a pony's soul based on a contractual agreement. Which means—"

"That in order for it to actually become latched onto anypony, or removed from anypony, it must fulfill the needs of a contract. Like when I bought it from Vernula."

Twilight gaped at Pinkie, somewhat glad that she didn't have to explain anything. She was also somewhat disappointed. "Yeah... basically."

"So why don't we just sell it to some factory in Manehatten so it can become a bunch of sparkly, pink sprinkles?"

Twilight rolled her eyes. No matter how intelligent she will ever be, Pinkie Pie is Pinkie Pie. "Disregarding the idea of eating a demon... no, that won't work."

Pinkie Pie's ears drooped. "Why not?"

"Agnitio Dator uses a magical loop hole to prevent its host from— okay, do you just want to say that it's a boy? It feels... weird, talking about something that's alive without giving it a gender."

Pinkie nodded.

Twilight seemed to be pleased, as if the sudden change in grammar made all the difference in the universe. "Okay. Basically, the spell he casts is that he grants a pony knowledge and magical power in exchange for their life force."

"Yeah?"

"Now, because he's granting a pony magic..." Twilight stared into the sky, glancing at the sun for a moment before turning back to Pinkie. "...he had to connect his own aura to his subjects—"

Pinkie interrupted her friend. "Meaning that he is using my magic to prevent me from selling the horn."

"Yup." Twilight took a raspy breath, turning her back on the hot sun. "You can only sell it when he wants you to. He'll wait until you have barely any life remaining, and force you to use the rest of your energy to find a suitable new subject.

"Uh... Twilight?" a tiny voice whispered.

Twilight turned suddenly, and was face to face with Fluttershy. "Oh, hi Fluttershy. I completely forgot you were there."

Fluttershy was no stranger to this happening, evidently. "If Pinkie can't sell Agnitio Dator... how do we get him off of her head?"

"Well... that's the thing here. I'm not entirely sure." Twilight pursed her lips.

Fluttershy's eyes widened. "Oh gosh, we should ask Celestia. Maybe she can he—"

"No!" Twilight nearly screamed. "Fluttershy, I found no records of anyone successfully removing Agnitio Dator without a contract. I doubt Celestia has a method either. She'd probably just..." Twilight bit her hoof rather hard, nearly drawing blood.

Pinkie Pie's eyes had been filled with a sort of existential dread. "What would she do, Twilight?"

Twilight ceased trying to eat her leg. "She would banish you from Equestria. Maybe throw you in a dungeon."

Fluttershy whimpered. "Why would she do something like that?"

"She would do it for the safety of Equestria, Fluttershy. That's why she trapped her own sister in the moon for a thousand years. If she can keep Pinkie away from other ponies, Agnitio Dator won't be able to find another host when Pinkie..." Twilight gulped, not able to say the last word. "So we have to solve this by ourselves."

"No we don't!" Pinkie squealed, falling out of her moment of depression.

"What do you mean?" Twilight was only half paying attention, the stress of the moment overcoming her.

"If Agnitio Dator is bound to my mind, then I'm bound to his. Right? I read in a book that mind based spells are double sided, so a pony can always break a spell like that..."

"Wait, you read in a book? Where the hay did you g—" 

Before Twilight realized where Pinkie had acquired her book, Pinkie jumped in. "It doesn't matter! The important part is that I may be able to get into his mind. I may be able to find out a way to get him off of me!"

Fluttershy looked skittish. To be honest, when didn't she? "Are you sure it's safe?"

"No, but what could he do that he hasn't done already?" Pinkie's mind was working frantically, the intelligence-boost from her ol' buddy Agnicio making her think even faster. "Twilight, how much time do I have left before he starts... you know... eating me from the inside."

"When did you get the horn?" Twilight's mood has improved; even she thought the plan could work.

"Uh... I got the horn, showed it to Fluttershy, went to bed, and earlier today I helped Applejack... so It's been like a day and a half, counting today."

Twlight closed her eyes for a minute, remembering what she had read.

"Oh sweet Celestia." Twilight swore. "Pinkie, you have until Midnight."

Pinkie Pie, instead of freaking out (as she would like to have), kept herself in a state of anxious acceptance. "Why the hay does magic always have a time limit of midnight?"

Twilight shrugged. "He's kind of a vampire. Maybe he's scared of werewolves?"

Pinkie Pie forced out a chuckle. "We'll find out soon I guess. Alright, how should I go about doing this?"

Twilight pondered about that for a moment. "Okay, I'm going to try to teach you how to get into your own mind."

Pinkie nodded.

"Think of a word, and say it over and over again. Make sure the word is something like a door or a boat; something you can interact with or enter.

Pinkie decided to think of a bathtub...

...filled with chocolate. 

"Okay... got it..." Pinkie's mouth was watering at the thought of a porcelain tub of milky chocolate. 

"Now imagine every part of it. What color it is, how old it is... things like that." 

Pinkie Pie decided to add balloons to the bathtub, because why the hay wouldn't she? She imagine the balloons lifting the tub up into the air, carrying a chocolatey yet confusing delight over Equestria.

"Good." Twilight said, surprised to see Pinkie's horn beginning to glow. For first time casters, this spell tended to take much longer to succeed at. "Now, remember when I told you to make sure you could interact with it? Whatever you created, I want you to perform the interaction. Now."

Pinkie Pie nodded, and visualized herself diving into the tub of chocolate... or heaven, at least to Pinkie. She felt a pull within her, kind of like the oceans undertow, all directed towards her horn. 

"Alright, Pinkie." Twilight said, her pink friends horn shining like a star. "You're about to experience your own sentience. Once you're within yourself, everything should feel completely normal to you, except for a few minor details; those details are breadcrumbs left by Agnitio Dator. Follow them, and you should be able to enter his conscience." 

Pinkie nodded, the tug getting stronger by the second. "Alright, demoney horn, mama Pinkie's comin' in."