Persona: Equestria

by scriptshatter

Chapter 6

I awoke in the velvet bar again, sitting up as my eyes creeped open.

“Welcome back to the Velvet Bar, Fifth Wisdom. I take it you're getting used to this place?” The person working at the bar said.

“Yea. I've been here at least… What, five times now?” I said, rolling my eyes.

“Four, actually,” Uncle Canny corrected.

“I am very pleased to hear that! Now-” Uncle Canny interrupted the newspaper person as he was speaking, scoffing and rolling his eyes.

“Och aye, ye're a wee bit dull, so I'll be takin’ the reins now” Uncle canny pulled out a chalkboard from seemingly nowhere, rolling it in from the right side of my vision, before going over to the jukebox and changing the music from the normal song to what sounded like a fast paced remixed version of it.

“Wha- eh- ok…” Said the newspaper person, sounding confused.

“Right, listen up now: The world as you ken it is under attack from a peculiar eyeless monstrosity that aims to blind everyone to truth, fact, or both. It seems it’s doin’ this to make others feel its pain, or somethin’ of that sort. We're not entirely sure yet, but we do know it's nae a good situation. And that's where you come in! I'm no longer among the living, and these two companions here cannae interact with the physical realm. That leaves it all up to you. Besides, I've heard you've had some experience in this sort of business. So, your mission is to venture into the dreaded 'Everfree Dissonance' and restore the sight of those who've been blinded to truth, fact, or both. All you've got to do is locate their eyes and pop 'em back in their heads. Finding these eyes won't be a cakewalk, though, as they’re usually hidden away, much like treasures! But ye're a 'Yearling,' and treasure hunting and exploration run in your veins!” The entire time he’s pointing to the chalkboard, which has depictions of the Everfree dissonance, as well as a large, shadow-like eyeless monstrosity.

“But, ye cannae do it all by yerself. Ye dinnae have enough skill for that. And that's why…” He flipped the board over to display pictures of Rarity, Zecora, and Thorax.

“Ye've got tae make friends! Buildin' bonds is yer surefire path tae gain more power, but, and I'm dead serious here, dinnae forge friendships solely for the sake o' power. It might sound a bit perplexin', but ye'll only harness the benefits if there's a genuine bond between ye and the other party. Ye see, it's nae just my Nata ye'll be able tae wield, but there are many other tools at yer disposal as well! And havin' bonds like mine will bolster their strength when ye forge them, resultin' in heightened effectiveness and power!” I nodded my head in understanding, thinking about the Nata I had.

“Ahem, moving on then, Just as Canny has said, you must use these friendships to assist you in making tools for the Everfree dissonance! And, as a show of gratitude, I shall be your friend as thanks for going on a mission to save the world. You are gonna save the world, right?” I thought about it for a moment. And by that I meant the answer was kinda obvious.

“Eh, sure. I mean, living a normal life for someone like me seems impossible anyway so why not?” I said.

“Lad, livin' a normal life is nae possible for our family. Believe me,” Uncle Canny retorted, rolling away the chalkboard and sitting back down.

“Now, I believe it is time for you to wake up. Now go, and-” Again, newspaper person was interrupted.

"Aye, yer barrel's still wounded. It'll be 'bout seven more days till ye're well enough tae venture back into the Everfree Dissonance. So ye should probably make some friends and seek out a job. It'd be best if it's a gig that lets ye earn a guid reputation among the townsfolk, so ye can become a legend and carry on the Yearling legacy, just like yer cousin Amy Keating Yearling! Who kens, maybe ye'll even scribble tales 'bout yer adventures like she does!" I looked at Canny and slowly nodded, confused about basically the entire second half of what he said.

“Eh? I'm allowed tae dream, ye ken.”

I woke up, my eyes flinging open. Getting off of Thorax, I stretched, putting on my disguise and… noticing my scarf! I had forgotten about my scarf staying with me out of the Everfree dissonance. I woke Thorax and Angel up shortly after, and it had appeared Zecora had gone out to gather plants, as detailed in the note she left saying she’d be back around midnight. I decided to go into town with the two of them to get a proper job, and that I’d help Zecora if she needed it in the evening.

It was only a few hours until Timid Comet and I were in town.

“I’m gonna go visit Fluttershy… is that okay with you and Angel?” The two of us nodded, before Timid Comet flew off to a cottage in the distance. Ok, so the first order of business is to get a job. I do believe detective work is a good fit for someone like me, considering my past. So, taking that into consideration, I head to the only place I could think to get hired as one; The town hall. There doesn’t seem to be any real law enforcement here as of yet, so that’s probably my best bet. I walk into the large building, the inside grand, with Rarity pulling materials in.

“What’s the occasion, Rarity?” I ask politely, and she looks at me like I have three heads before saying ‘Oh, right!’ and trotting over to me.

“I’m preparing for the summer sun celebration. It’s a celebration of Princess Celestia raising the sun every morning! Each year a different town is chosen to hold the celebration, and this year it’s Ponyville! Now, is there a reason you’re in here? Besides just looking around Ponyville, that is.” I nodded my head in confirmation. I was a little confused why it was called the SUMMER sun celebration when it was in fall, but I shrugged it off. I don’t think it’s that important, someone probably just fudged the dates.

“I’m actually looking to become a Detective for Ponyville! I noticed the law enforcement here is a bit… err… lackluster,” I said, sheepishly laughing.

“Oh! I mean, I suppose I’ve never really thought about it… there’s not much crime here…”

“That you know of,” I corrected.

“That I… Are you suggesting that crime is a common occurrence here?” Rarity defended.

“Not necessarily, but I’m sure there’s mysteries that happen around here. It’ll be hard to solve them without a pony qualified for the job.” Rarity put a hoof to her chin, before shrugging and laughing it off.

“Oh, what am I saying? It’d be absolutely fabulous if you became a detective! It’d be like Ponyville having its very own Shadow Spade!” She said, giggling to herself.

“Oh! Right, um… Mayor Mare should be in her office on the second floor.” She pointed to a Flight of stairs leading up to the second floor of town hall.

“Just take the first right once you get up there and you should be good to go!” I nodded and went up the steps to Mayor Mares’ office, heading into the first door on my right as Rarity instructed. Inside was a cream coloured pony with glasses. Presumably Mayor Mare, hurriedly sorting through papers with a scuffed up mane.

“Oh, no no no…” She said, quite concerned.

“How am I going to find a detective at this hour? Filthy’s going to have my pocketbook if I can’t get somepony to solve this strange pony bug infestation…” That is the most ironic yet convenient thing that has happened to me in all of my two lives.

“Huh, convenient. Also, how in the world are you going to explain the fact that you and Thorax were the two bug things that showed up?” Angel said, raising an eyebrow.

“Watch and learn,” I said confidently, before heading up to Mayor Mares desk and tapping my hoof.

“Um… Hello? I can’t help but notice that you are looking for a detective! And I just so happen to be a detective!” I say, chuckling lightheartedly. Mayor Mare bolts over to me, looking me over, before smiling and breathing a sigh of relief.

“Well, your Cutie Mark certainly seems to think so from what I can tell!” She said enthusiastically.

“Now, I just need your birth information. You’re not on record, and you don’t have a Ponyville ID, which you’re going to need. Do you have a birth certificate orrr…” She trailed. This wasn’t going to be a problem for me, the cover story practically writes itself.

“I was an adopted child before I ran away from my abusive parent, and I only know my birth date from my step sibling taunting me. So, no, I unfortunately do not have a birth certificate.” I mean, it was technically the truth. At least if what my apparent Uncle Canny said is true.

“Oh, I’m very sorry to hear that dear… Can I at least know your birth date?” She said, and I was happy to oblige.

“June Second, 1992.”

“Full name?”

“Fifth Wisdom Yearling.” She stopped for a moment. And then she asked me a very strange question.

“Do you know what… oh what was it called… Daring Do is?” I blinked in confusion.

“Uh- who?” I asked, confused. Mayor Mare shook her head.

“Do you know who A.K. Yearling is?” I shook my head.

“No, though I don’t remember anything from before I was adopted, so I can’t confirm or deny anything. I don’t even know if Yearling is my real last name, my only evidence for it is a dream I had where a hippogriff told me it was my last name.” Telling the truth worked with Rarity since my apparently crazy story was so apparently out there, so it should work here since this is even more out there.

“I… okay. Fifth Wisdom Yearling it is then.” She said, marking it down on an official-looking document. She then wrote something else and laughed a little.

“So, I assume you want that job as Ponyville Detective then? She said, taking something out of a drawer. I was a little shocked that all she needed was my birth date and name. Regardless, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t grateful.

“Yes, Ma’am!” I said, smiling.

“Then follow me! We’ll do it in the conference room!” She said, nearly as energetic as Pie is. We both walked into the conference room, where there were several seats, 5 of them filled up. The one with three bags of money, presumably Rich, was the first one to look over.

Me and Mayor Mare trotted over to the front, where she proudly announced “I’d like everypony here to welcome Ponyville's first ever detective, Fifth Wisdom!” Wait, first ever? I’m confused as to how that’s possible, but then again I must remind myself I’m in a town with talking ponies while I’m a bug horse disguised as one using magic. A town not needing a detective until now is not one of the strangest things that’s happened so far. Not by a long shot. Several hoof clo… claps could be heard as Mayor Mare revealed the deerstalker she had taken out of the drawer she had opened before. It was dusty, but with one quick blow from her, the dust scattered to the wind, and she put it right on my head.

“Way to go, man!” Angel said, as I turned to the five other ponies and smiled.

“I promise to keep Ponyville safe from any future scams, shams, or any other sorts of crimes or unpleasantries that may take place!” I wasn’t told to say that, I just felt like saying it.

“Thank you for finding a detective on such short notice, Mayor! And thank you, Fifth, for taking up the job,” Rich said, beaming at the two of us.

“It’s my pleasure, Mr. Rich,” I said, and Rich beamed again. I don’t know why he was so happy to hear me say his name, but you know what they say, don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. Mayor Mare and I soon left the room, and went back into her office, where she breathed a sigh of relief.

“Thank you, Fifth. I don’t know what I would’ve done if you hadn’t shown up! Now, onto the terms of your contract. We’ll be announcing you as detective later today, and… ooh! I can actually fulfil the Princess’s request to have somepony who’s a part of law enforcement accompany her student! Oh! Right, the contract. So, ponies will be able to send in requests for crimes or mysteries. Then they’ll send in a bounty of bits! Once you solve the mystery and/or crime, you’ll be rewarded!” I nodded in agreement, and Mayor Mare smiled.

“Again, I really must thank you for this. You’ve really saved my flank!” She said, and I gave a light hearted chuckle.

“You’re welcome, Mayor Mare.”

“You managed to get a job in Ponyville, in fact you were the detective. The irony of that hasn’t gone unnoticed by me. So tell me, how in the world did you manage to get a job like that with what you are now, hmm? Tell me!” Shining slammed the desk.

Mayor Mare smiled at me, before walking over to her desk and saying “Alright, now I have to call a town meeting so that ponies are aware that they can now report proper incidents and mysteries. Head downstairs, I’ll tell you to come out when it’s ready,” I walked downstairs, where Rarity congratulated me, and I waited.

“Attention everypony!” Mayor Mare called. I could hear her from outside as she spoke.

“I know we haven't had any law enforcement so far…” Murmurs could be heard outside, some of them mentioning Applejack.

“Ok, we haven't had any official law enforcement. But as we all know, yesterday a couple of new ponies entered town, and one of them happened to be a detective!” More murmurs were heard. I could hear my name a little, but mostly it was just confusion.

“This won't cause any major changes, please don’t worry. This’ll just allow ponies to get help with mysteries or crimes when they need it,” She said in an attempt to calm the crowd. It kinda worked.

“Oh, let's just welcome our new detective, Fifth Wisdom!” I walked out, half expecting boos, but I was instead met with cheers! I suppose they weren't as opposed to a detective as I thought. Mayor Mare pointed to the recently refurbished deposit box in the side of the building.

“Here’s how this works; If you have a mystery or crime that needs solving, you can place it into the deposit box, along with a bounty. Once Fifth solves the mystery, you will then pay him the necessary bits. If you, for whatever reason, cannot afford his services, feel free to put in a request with no bounty. I will try to pay him according to the work he does if that happens. I would very much appreciate it if you paid the bounty yourself, however… I’m not made of money!” Rich came up onto stage at that moment.

“Oh, forget about the whole bounty thing. I’ll pay him myself as a thanks for the hard work he does!” I smiled at the two of them before looking at the crowd.

“I promise to help with whatever unpleasantries may happen in Ponyville! This is my home as well now, and I’ll be sure to do what I can to make it the best home possible!” Everypony cheered for me after that. I’m getting a sense of deja-vu from my life before I was a changeling.

“You may all be dismissed, now! If anypony has any requests they’d like to put in, please put them in now!” An older pink mare with a dark purple mane and gaudy clothing walked up and put a sheet in. I’m kinda surprised she put one in, since I didn’t think anypony would’ve known to make a request sheet yet. Still, a request is a request.

Once everypony left, I went into the town hall, and walked over to the request bin to find the one request that was there. The request was the same one Mayor Mare had been talking about before, the one about me, or rather, the pony bugs that had appeared out of nowhere. That probably meant that the pony who entered this was, or rather is related to Rich in some way. Regardless, I did need to find a cover story for it, or rather proof that I had handled it.

That’s when a plan hit me. I could pretend to chase Thorax out in front of the pink mare, which would cause her to believe that… no, wait, she saw both of us. C’mon, Wisdom, think, think, thi- Fluttershy. When I first met her, I did a thing that made her talk louder, that clearly involved magic, meaning it was a spell. I naturally have a spell that can mind control ponies. I wouldn’t feel good about using it, but… if I could make a believable cover story, and then control that mare into believing it… that just might save me. I’d hate doing it, but… I’ve gotta keep my secret somehow.

But there’s gotta be another way! Right? Probably not. I mean, what am I supposed to do?? Go up to her and say ‘Oh hey, you know those bugs that appeared out of nowhere? Yea, that was actually me and my step brother Thorax, and we just want to live in this town under false aliases so that you wouldn’t freak out.’ That’d probably work, actually… if there wasn’t a near one-hundred percent chance that she’d flip once finding out me and Thorax were bugs. I mean, they’re afraid of Zecora, and she’s a Zebra! Imagine how scared they’d be of something that’s actually threatening-looking! Augh, why’s this gotta be such a hard and nuanced situation?? Okay, calm down Wisdom, maybe you should just go over and see what the situation is. But then what if she-

“Hey, you good? You’ve been pacing for, like, ten minutes now,” Angel said, breaking me out of my stupor.

“Huh? Oh, um… I’m just worried about this case. I just don’t know if I’ll be able to solve it in a way that’s good for both parties, and that the pink mare will think I’m bad, if you know what I mean.” Angel laughed a little.

“Who, Spoiled Rich? You could probably convince her it was just a trick of the light. You’re pitch black in your changeling form, after all.” He had a point there. Alright, no more stalling, I’m gonna go over to Spoiled Rich’s place! Then both our stomachs growled.

“I don’t have any money yet…” I said, slightly dejected.

“Then you’d better hurry over to Spoiled’s place! I’m just as hungry as you are, pal!” He said, and I nodded.

Angel patted his head, confused, before exasperating “Aw, shit! I forgot my hat!”

I trotted over to where Angel said Spoiled Rich’s house was, and knocked on the door. The pink mare answered.

“Ah, hello there. Please, solve this dreadful mystery of… bugs… on the streets.” I looked around for a moment as if I was pondering, before answering with the only lie I could think of.

“If what I read about weather patterns is correct, it is very likely that it was simply a shadowy coincidence with a cloud and a few pegasi. Nothing to worry about, Mrs. Rich.” I gave her a comforting smile, but she clearly wasn’t having it.

“That’s Tha- That’s hogwash! Poppycock! I know what I saw, and I say I saw two pony bugs!” She said, her voice rising. I let out a strained gulp as she put the pressure on me. Still, I had a few tricks up my sleeve.

“Pony bugs don’t exist though, ma’am! It was most likely just a trick of the shadows. If this happens again, however, please let me know, as in that case it may be more than just a trick of the light.” She stomped her hoof.

“No, I know what I saw! I saw two bug ponies! One with a sweater, and one with a scarf… and a rabbit…” Uh oh. Alright, I really didn’t wanna use this, but I’ve got no other option now. Time to press the metaphorical panic button. I felt a tingling sensation in my horn as Mrs. Rich went into a dizzy tizzy for a moment.

“Mrs. Rich, I think you’ll find it really was a shadow! The scarf and bunny were just coincidences, and…” I strained saying this, and hated every moment of it.

“But just to be safe, I don’t think you should talk about those details with any living thing. Not the scarf, not the bunny, and not the sweater. In fact, forget about them entirely. They’re not important. Just remember that what you saw was a shadow!” Once I stopped talking Mrs. Rich snapped out of her tizzy. She blinked a few times, before rubbing her head.

“Yes, I’m terribly sorry… I must’ve simply lost my head for a moment there, thank you for the reassuring words, Fifth.” She handed me a small pouch of coins, or rather, bits, as I believe they’re called here. I took it in my magic and put it in my scarf. It’s surprisingly useful for carrying things! Spoiled waved goodbye and closed the door. I just needed that mind effect spell to last for a few days, then she’ll see nothing’s wrong, then she’ll forget about it anyway. I’m sure that as long as no harm comes to her from a ‘bug pony’, she’ll forget about it.

“That… even if using mind control is morally dubious at best, nice save. To be honest, though, I don’t think anypony would believe her. She’s not necessarily the nicest pony out there,” Angel remarked, laying on my back.

“Hey, now that we got some cash, how about we go and get a bite to eat?” He suggested, pointing at the bag of bits.

“That sounds like a fantastic idea! Wait, where are we gonna go eat?” I asked him. Angel simply shrugged.

“I dunno, you figure it out,” he answered.

Eventually, I managed to find a place called ‘Café Hay’, where we had a nice bite to eat. It was nothing special, just a simple burger. Well, a ‘hay burger’, but when you’re in a society filled with talking ponies, that kinda stuff is kinda expected. With remaining bits in tow, I took a stroll down the road, examining the architecture.

On my stroll I came across an orange Pegasus filly trying to fly up into a tree. Though, she wasn’t making much progress, and was barely even able to get off the ground. I walked over, curious as to what all the commotion was about.

“Excuse me, but is there a particular reason you’re trying to get up into that tree?” I asked, and the filly turned to me.

“Huh? Oh, I just lost my scooter up in this tree. I’m trying to fly up and get it… but… I’m having a bit of trouble," answered the orange filly, pointing up to the blue scooter.

“I see. Well, in that case, how about I help you a little?” I responded, taking the scooter up in my magic and bringing it down. The orange filly took it and looked it over, before smiling at me.

“Hey, thanks… umm… What’s your name? I’m Scootaloo,” She said, looking at me expectantly.

“My name is Fifth Wisdom,” I answered, smiling.

“Hey, you’re the new detective, right?” Scootaloo asked, tilting her head and pointing at me while smiling.

“Ha, guilty as charged,” I answered, rubbing the back of my head.

“Cool! What kinda of crimes do you think you’ll solve?”

“I think I’ll be solving ponies’ mysteries more than their crimes. Though, if a crime does arise, I’ll be there to solve them for the sake of the town!” I said, putting a little more energy into my voice for the sake of entertainment.

“I suppose that’s fair. Hey, have you met Rainbow Dash yet?” My smile faltered slightly at her name.

“Unfortunately, yes. We… don’t get along. She’s a bit too boastful for my liking.” Scootaloos’ jaw nearly dropped at that.

“What?? H- Wha- How can you not like her??? She’s the awesomest pony there is!” I scoffed and rolled my eyes.

“Yea, and she won’t shut up about it. I wish she’d just be ‘awesome’ instead of being so boastful about it,” I scoffed. My mask is slipping a little. Scootaloo bit her lip and shuffled a little in place.

“I- I mean… she… um… I guess that’s fair? It… it’s still… mmm…” I let out a sigh.

“I’m not saying I don’t think she’s capable, I mean, if everypony I’ve met so far is saying she’s ‘awesome’, then it’s probably true. I just wish she’d stop being so loud about it. It’s annoying.”

“I… That’s… I guess that makes sense.” She rubbed the back of her head with her hoof. I put my hoof on her shoulder.

“I just think it’s important to be modest. Sure, you can be the best at something, but don't go around flaunting it. That tends to make you sound pretty narcissistic,” I said in a comforting tone.

“Narcis-wha?” Scootaloo tilted her head.

“Narcissistic. It means you’re overly egotistical to the detriment of others,” I clarified. That’s the simple version, but it’ll do.

“Detri…” Scootaloo trailed. I rolled my eyes.

“It means you like talking about yourself way too much.”

“Ohhhh! I get it. I gotta go now, Fifth, but I’ll remember what you said! See ya later!” She said, getting on her scooter and buzzing her wings.

“See you too!” I said, and she rolled off. I smiled as I continued trotting along. I looked at the sun in the sky and decided it’d be best if I head home. So, I went to Fluttershy’s hut to find Comet helping Fluttershy wash a hog, which was… interesting, and retrieved him before heading home.

We took the long trek home, and I hung up my hat next to Angels’ when we arrived back at the hut. We both undisguised ourselves, and Thorax almost immediately headed over to the bed and fell asleep. Zecora was still out, as expected, so I walked over and sat next to the bed, thinking for a moment.

“Hey, Spiracle?” Angle said, grabbing my attention.

“Yea?” I answered.

“I’m… I’m glad you can understand me. I just… I mean, don’t get me wrong, I like living with Fluttershy. She’s nice, and she gets me everything I want… but… I dunno. I feel like going into the everfree-what not has given me a sort of reality check, y’know? And I feel like being that pampered, while also not getting a ton of attention because… Well, you saw her cottage. With the amount of animals she has to take care of, it’s a wonder she has any time for me. But you… not only can you understand me, you worked with me today. Or, rather, I worked with you. Even if I didn’t do much, I enjoyed hanging out with you. So, I wanted to ask. If Fluttershy lets me… would you mind if I stayed with you instead? Sure, I probably won’t get the same meals, but, who knows? Maybe I’ll become better because of it.” I thought for a moment, before shrugging.

“Sure, I don’t see why not,” I said plainly.

“Then it’s settled. I’ll live with you, Thorax, and Zecora. And I’ll help you solve mysteries! You’ve got an animal sidekick now, or would it be an animal partner?” Angel pondered.

“Animal Co-worker,” I said with a chuckle. Angle chuckled with me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You had the ability to commune with animals, at least to some degree. We thought this was mind control at first, like what you did to Spoiled Rich, but upon investigation by Twilight and Fluttershy that was revealed to be not the case. So tell me, How did you manage to communicate with animals, hmm? Tell me!” Shining yelled.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I think it’s about to go to sleep. I’ll see you in the morning, alright, Angel?” I said, climbing on top of Thorax and closing my eyes.

“See you in the morning…” Angel said, sleeping on top of me.