//------------------------------//
// The Downswing 
// Story: Navigate 
// by Sleestack 
//------------------------------//

	Gravity oppressed him. His yellow blankets constricted him. But it wasn’t like he tried to escape, anyway. He laid there, flatly, unmoving. His eyelids were heavy. But they wouldn’t close. Soon his eyes dried out. He didn’t care. His nerves and his thoughts were shut off to any sort of feeling. But his bones yelled at him, telling him to roll over or shift positions on the floor, cause the hard floor was growing uncomfortable beneath his back. He ignored the order. He just didn’t care about his pain or discomfort. He didn’t want to move. He wasn’t quite sure what he wanted to do.
He stared at the ceiling, unable to tell what his body was doing to him. He felt like he was going to vomit, cry, or if his head was going to jerk and smash itself into the stone underneath him. He knew this feeling. He really didn’t expect for him to get it while in the land of ponies and perfect feelings, though. He could have sworn everyone was happy all the time here. But, he decided, that probably didn’t include him.
The door opened quietly above him, as if whoever was trying to open it didn’t want to wake those inside. Trip didn’t turn his head to see who it was, but after a second of no movement, he started feeling the vibrations of someone walking towards where he was laying. Whoever it was, they stopped just before they entered his field of vision. He heard a short sigh being expelled and felt two appendages pick him up near his neck and the small of his back. The ground underneath him fell as he saw the ceiling come closer to him, and then start moving as he moved. Then he felt the soft embrace of the bed.
“How did he even manage to do that?” said a voice he had never heard before. He leaned his head towards whoever it was that was talking. He saw a large dark blue mare standing before him. She jumped back slightly as she saw his movement. “Oh!” she said in what seemed like an attempted whisper. “You’re awake! I didn’t even notice.”
“What’re you doing here?” Trip asked. His throat was dry.
“My sister, Celestia, said we had two new guests in the castle. I wanted to check in on you.”
“While we were sleeping?”
The mare looked away in embarrassment. “Oh, well, I’m a bit of a night owl, as you may have guessed. That’s a metaphor, by the way. It means I’m active mostly-”
“Yeah. I know.” Trip snapped. “I know what it means.”
“Oh. I’m sorry. It just didn’t occur to me that normal ponies are asleep at this time. I didn’t mean to wake you.” She looked at how he was wound in the sheets. “Why are you wrapped like this? With no legs and just a head, you look a bit like a-”
“I’m not a pony.” he interrupted. “And I was awake when you came in.”
The mare looked confused at this. “You’re... then what are you?” she asked, sounding somewhat concerned.
“I’m... nothing. Nothing important.”
She placed her hoof on approximately where his shoulder was. “That’s not true. Don’t think you’re not important. My sister requested you be sent here, and she said it was of the utmost importance that you get to the palace.”
Trip turned his head slightly towards Rose’s bed. “What about her?” he asked. “She was just an afterthought. She’s only here because she happened to be near me at the time I showed up. She’s not important. No one cares about her.”
“Well, obviously, you do. You’ve stuck with her this long.”
No response from Trip on that one. He let his head fall onto the bed. “I’m not a pony.” was all he had to say after a few moments of silence.
“Well, you sure look like one to me.” the mare responded.
“I’m not. Just trust me on that one, okay? I look like one, but I’m not one on the inside.”
She tilted her head. “Then what would you say you are on the inside?”
“Hurting.” he said before he could think of a proper response.
“Oh, you’re in pain?” Asked the mare, concerned. “I could go get you something for it, if you-”
“No!” Trip said, a little too loudly. For a second, he was sure he heard Rose waking up. It turned out just to be her turning in her sleep. The older mare didn’t seem to notice, though. “I mean, I’m fine. I mean, I’m tired. I should really get to sleep.”
“Okay, my little... um, what should I call you, then?”
Trip paused for a moment. “You’re Celestia’s little sister, right?”
“I am her sister, yes.”
“Trip. I’m Trip.”
“Trip.” she said, smiling. “Have pleasant dreams, Trip.” she turned and walked silently out of the room.
Yeah, sure pleasant. Nightmares about snakes.
He stared at the ceiling, hoping that he might find comfort in the bed he was placed in. Amazingly, he found a feeling in safety the bed. He felt as if the bed was a boat in the middle of a stormy sea, and that if he were to fall off the side, he might-
No, that was stupid. He felt like he was in a bed and he didn’t want to get out of it. Trip was never good with metaphors. Or anything language involved. Or anything in general.
Oh God. They’re going to want me to do stuff. I have to interact with them. No... he buried his face in the sheets underneath him and closed his eyes. He let out a low whine.
“Trip?” came a hushed, tired voice from the other side of the room. “Are you okay?”
He hesitated as he tried deciding what words he wanted to push out of his throat. “I... I don’t know. I don’t think... I don’t know.” his voice was quavering.
“Trip,” said Rose, sounding a little more concerned. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m a... I’m a little... I don’t...” he was practically gasping in between phrases. He heard the sound of hooves against the floor that started moving closer.
“It’s okay, what’s wrong?” she asked. She was standing right next to the bed now, from what he could hear.
“Nothing’s... I’m...” he couldn’t even get himself to form words. He felt as useless as he had ever felt before.
She shushed. him. “It’s okay.” Confusion lined the phrase, but she still seemed genuine when she said it. “I’m here. You’re gonna be fine.”
He swallowed. The inside of his throat stuck to itself. Breathing became impossible and he had to gasp to get any air in at all. His mouth opened.
“I’m... afraid.” he said, before going into another gasping fit.
“It’s okay. What are you afraid of?” he felt a hoof touching his shoulder.
His breathing calmed down. “Rose,” he said. “You’re not my sister. You’re not my mom. You’re obviously not my dad.”
She laughed slightly, awkwardly. “Well, I would hope not.”
“Then why...” a loose hiccup. “Why do I care about you? At all?”
Silence echoed throughout the room for a while. “You don’t need to be in someone’s family to care about them.”
His breathing started acting up again, for some reason.
“What are you afraid of?”
“I’m... I’m afraid of what’s gonna happen if I get out of this bed.” He said. That was true. But Rose didn’t respond. He could feel that she wasn’t satisfied with the answer. “I’m afraid that no matter what happens, no matter who helps, no matter what I do, I’m just gonna be stuck here, and there’s nothing I can do about it.”
She still didn’t respond. She knew that he wasn’t telling the whole truth. “I’m afraid that when I go back, things might get worse. My dad will start up again, my sister will get sick again. And I don’t know what I’m gonna do. I’ve already gone as far as I can go. I have no control over anything now. It’s all gonna come undone.”
She still didn’t fucking respond. Her silent treatment was killing him. “I’m afraid that we’re gonna end up just like our parents,” he said, a little bit louder. “Renee is gonna die, and I’m gonna end up a slob who can’t get his life together, only I’ll have no friends to leave me when I go too far.” he felt some freedom in his sheets. He brought his arms up to his head. “And you... you’re gonna end up nothing. You’re just gonna be this memory I can’t let go of, but to everyone else, you were just someone who stood in the background to take up space.”
There was no response. Not even an echo from the acoustics of the room.
“I’m afraid...” he said. “I’m afraid that everything will go wrong and I’ll be left behind in the mess, and I’ll have missed my chance to say my last words. I don’t want my last words to be ‘Oh shit, bye everyone, have fun living your life while I’m left back here.’” he looked up. He saw only darkness. “Rose?” he called out.
Silence was the only thing that called back. But there were words in that silence. They said something to the effect of She’s not here, Trip.
Trip looked around. He was nowhere. Literally. “Are you the voice?” he asked.
The Silence responded again. Yes. Honestly, you weren’t supposed to know about me, but I guess Celestia got really excited about me.
“What happened to all of them?”
Oh, the ponies? What do you care?
“You’re right. I don’t.”
Trip, oh, Trip. Haven’t you learned anything? Of course you do. Don’t try and lie to me. I’m an Omnipresent Disembodied Voice. You cared about the one, the girl.
“Rose.” he muttered under his breath.
Yes! See? Some of this is sticking on a conscious level! This may have all been worth it!
“You don’t sound very fancy for an all-knowing voice.” Trip observed.
Yeah, well, this is just how you’re interpreting me. I’m speaking how you would speak.
“Oh. Well, what was that about, ‘This was all worth it?’”
Right. See, sometimes, there are cracks in the universe. People who have cracks in them themselves slip through these sometime. And they don’t come back until those cracks have been healed, or that person is at least aware those cracks are there.
“So I’m cracked? Aren’t there other people who have it worse than me, that have it worse off? Why didn’t you send them instead of me?”
You see, that’s one thing I thought you’d learn on your own. Just because other people might be feeling more pain than you, doesn’t make your pain any less genuine. You just happened to be in the right place at the right time is all.
“Pain?”
Don’t pretend like you don’t know what pain is. That’s what sent you through the cracks in the first place. You don’t feel the pain you should. It just collapses your foundation after a while.
“What do you mean? I feel pain just fine.”
Hmm. Yes, Trip, tell me how you feel about your mother. Her dying that is.
“Um, you know, it was sad, but I had to move on.”
Yes, but you moved on way too fast. You miss her, don’t you?
“Of course! I’d be a dick if I didn’t!”
But you don’t feel sad about her being gone, do you?
“I...”
Yeah, that’s what I thought. You know what most normal kids would do? They’d be sad about it.
“...no, I just...”
No, if you don’t stop allowing things to happen as they come, eventually you’re gonna lose control and it’s all gonna get away from you. There. That’s the moral of your story. You were supposed to figure it out for yourself, but obviously we’re gonna be here all day if I just have to give you metaphoric hints.
“Geez, okay. But what if things have already gotten away from me?”
Well, you ride the wave. You don’t try and stop a tsunami with a bath and knife.
“...okay.”
Now, we’re gonna do a test run, alright?
“What do you mean?”
I’m gonna take something away from you, you're never gonna see it again, and you’re not gonna stop yourself from feeling whatever you want to feel, alright?
“What? What are you gonna take away?”
Oh, don’t worry. Everything is gonna be the exact same as it was before the crash. 
"Well, then what’s gonna be gone?”
You’ll realize when you wake up. In the hospital.
“Am I gonna pass out again?”
Well, yes, you are. Why, did you have something planned out?
“Well, I was just gonna as’sthe deal with the snake was?”
Oh. Ha. The snake. Let me ask you, what exactly is a snake?
“Um, it’s a reptile?”
No no no. A snake is nothing more than a little man with no hands.
Trip felt his consciousness slipping away from him as he tried to understand the strange passage the voice had just told him.