//------------------------------// // Why Anon is Depressed in October // Story: Adventures of thestral Anon // by ImNew2023 //------------------------------// “Twilight is this all really necessary?” Anon asked tiredly. Stood in the library of her castle/treehouse. Twilight moved a tape measure across Anon’s body, writing down the results. “Anon you agreed to help me write a paper on your transformation from human to pony, now hold still I only have a few more measurements to take” Twilight explained. “Yeah yeah, it’s still being named in my honour right?” Anon asked. Rolling her eyes, Twilight couldn’t help my smile slightly as she shook her head. “Yes Anon, it’s going to be called the Anon Effect you don’t have to worry, now step on the scales please” Twilight said. Stepping onto the scales, Anon watched the numbers rise. “One hundred and ninety five pounds exactly,” Twilight said as she wrote it down. “Cool, I've lost five pounds since coming here,” Anon said happily. “Yes, but you seem to be hiding eight pounds” Twilight said. “Huh?” “By my calculations, you should be eight pounds lighter, I’ve cross referenced your measurements with a normal pony’s and you’re eight counts heavier then you should be” Twilight explained. “Ah, I think I know where all the weight’s gone” Anon said, coming up with a theory of his own. Tilting her head, Twilight looked at him inquisitively. The two remained silent for a couple of minutes before Anon realised she wasn’t going to figure it out, Anon gave her the answer. “My cock and balls Twiggles, the missing weight is my cock and balls”  Immediately gaining a massive blush, Twilight shakingly wrote the figures down. “O-ok, this at least explains a lot” Twilight almost choked. “Explains what exactly?” Anon asked. “Well, matter can’t be created or destroyed, it’s like magic in that regard. It can only be transferred, so while you were much larger than a pony when you were human, all your mass got redistributed along your new body. Thestrals aren’t meant to be the same size as an earth pony, yet you’re almost the size of Big Mac, and from what Pinkie’s told me once she gets too much cider in her… you’re, very gifted, down there I mean” she explained, her blush returning as the conversation of his junk returned. “Ah that makes sense now, anything else?” Anon asked. “No that should be everything, unless you’re willing to give me a sperm sample” Twilight said jokingly. “Ok, do you need it fresh or can I just grab some from the fertility clinic?” Anon asked. If she had been drinking something, Twilight would have spat it all over her nice crystal floor.  “E-excuse me?” She stuttered. “I mean if you want just give me a cup and I’ll rub one out in the bathroom, but if not I’ve got a couple in reserve in the Imperial Fertility Clinic so I can go grab that” Anon explained. “Anon, I-I was joking” she stuttered. “Ah I see, well, have a good day Twiggles, come to the palace if you need anything” Anon said before leaving for his home. Walking through town, the cool autumn air blowing against him, Anon was forced to stop. He could smell something. Something smelly. A smelly something. He could smell something that smelt, smelly. At least it smelt that way to him. He knew the smell. “Pumpkin spice” he said, his voice filled with dread. Looking around he could see ponies going about their day, but something was different. They were buying up more candy than usual, fake cobwebs and pumpkin spice coffee. These were signs Anon knew all too well. “Nightmare Night is coming” he dreaded. Many hours later, within the palace, the Heart sisters were worried. Sat in a circle with their heads wresting on the table, the Anons looked more depressed then any being in Equestria had ever seen them. “Anon? Are you ok?” Night Heart asked. “There are three levels of depression a Flordiaman can feel. Californians moving into the neighbourhood, alligators getting shot by the police when they haven’t hurt anyone this time and when Disney World closes. Right now, I’m at Disney World is closed” Anon explained. Giving each other a confused look on what a ‘Californian’ or a ‘Disney World’ was, the Hearts turned their attention back to the Anons. “Sweetie, just tell us what’s wrong,” Cream asked. “Can’t, we’re too depressed, ask Twilight, she loves explaining stuff” Ponanon groaned. So with Night Heart borrowing Anon’s glasses they went off to speak to Twilight. … “I think I might know what’s going on” Twilight stated. The Hearts had explained to her that the Anons were depressed and they couldn’t figure out why. Now they all sat together, enjoying tea being poured by Spike. “Do you remember Nightmare Night four years ago?” Twilight asked. The Hearts shook their heads. “No, I took Button to spend the week with my mother that year,” Cream Heart explained. “Well let me catch you up. It all began nearly four years ago, it was my first Nightmare Night here in Ponyville” Twilight began to tell her story. … Four years ago, Nightmare Night was going the same way it always had.  Foals out hunting for candy while adults had their own fun. The Cutie Mark Crusaders were enjoying themselves.  Applebloom was a skeleton, Sweetie Bell a witch and Scootaloo a… Rainbow Dash? Eh they’re having fun. “Hey, wanna see what Anon’s house is like?” Applebloom asked. “Yeah!” Her friends shouted in unison. Anon had given out king-size candies the year before, so they knew to hit his house first before anypony else got the same idea. Travelling across the fields they arrived at Anon’s house. It looked aged, vines were growing across its surfaces and the windows were dirty, like it hadn’t been touched in years. “Gee wiz, Anon really went all out this year” Applebloom said as she trotted up to the front door. Before she could knock, Applebloom turned around to see her friends were a few feet away. “Applebloom, this feels like a trap. Remember last year?” Sweetie Bell asked. Memories started flooding back, the image of a prosthetic worm monster bursting out of Anon’s shirt like it had clawed through his chest still sending shivers down the three fillies spines. “Aw come on Sweetie, Anon’s not going to try that old trick twice… right?” Scootaloo asked. Swallowing her breath, Sweetie stepped up to the door next to Applebloom with Scootaloo joining them. As they knocked in unison the door swung open. “Anon? You in there?” Scootaloo called out. Cautiously they stepped inside, the house looked as if it had been remodelled. Candles hung from chandeliers, all of them unlit. “I don’t think he’s home, we should get back to town” Sweetie suggested. “Nah, knowing Anon he probably got something up his sleeve” Scootaloo dismissed. Going into the living room they saw yet more unlit chandeliers. But also a large cauldron placed in the middle of the room.  “Hey look! A note!” Applebloom pointed out. On a pedestal by the cauldron was a leather bound book, a candle and a note. Picking it up the CMC began reading. For the love of all that is holy, do not allow a virgin to light this black candle under the full moon. “What’s a virgin?” Scootaloo asked. “I think that means somepony who hasn’t kissed anypony yet,” Sweetie Bell suggested. “Does family count?” Applebloom asked. “I don’t think so?” Sweetie shrugged. “Let’s light it!” Scootaloo said excitedly. “But the note,” Sweetie reminded her. “It’s obvious a ploy by Anon to set whatever’s happening tonight in motion” Applebloom said. The girls searched the house until they found some matches. Lighting one, Scootaloo reached up and lit the candle. As it’s black flame was lit, the candles of the chandeliers burst to light one by one and a great flame burst underneath the cauldron. Outside the house flashes of light and the sound of thunder could be heard, shortly joined by the sound of shrill laughter. Seeing the front door fly open the CMC hid behind the sofa. Bursting into the house were three unicorn mares, a green one with fiery curly red hair and prominent buck teeth and a leather book as a cutie mark, a red one with black hair almost pointed upwards like a hat but dropped down to the side, she was on the heavier side and had a visible drop on the right side of her face, her cutie mark was that of a pair of sniffer hounds, finally was a younger looking, more energetic mare with blond hair and a purple coat, her cutie mark was heart with a musical note within it. “We’re home!” The lead mare called out as they began cackling madly. “My curse was perfect!” She cried out as she moved into the house. “Only because thou art perfect sister” the red mare said. While they went towards the book, the blond moved around as if she was looking for something. Eventually moving to the ceiling she pulled down a long leathery piece of something that resembled string. “My lucky rat tail, it’s just where I left it!” She giggled happily. “But who lit the black flame candle?” The green mare asked. “Ah, book, time to wake up. I missed you, did you miss me?” She cooed, speaking to the book as she tapped on its cover. The CMC looked on at these strange mares, shaking in their costumes. “Oh we’ve done it now” Scootaloo whispered. “We!! You’re the one who lit the candle!” Sweetie Bell whispered back more harshly. “Winnie!” The red mare called, trotting up to the green mare now known as Winnie. “I smell foals~” she said deviously. That caught the attention of the other two mare, who gained devious smiles. “Sniff them out Mary” Winnie said. The CMC watched as this ‘Mary’ mare sniffed around like a bloodhound while the other two followed. “Come little children, I’ll take thee away, into a land of enchantment-“ the blond mare started to sing before her mouth was covered up. “Come out my dears, we won’t hurt you, we love foals!” Winnie called out. As the three started getting closer to the sofa, the CMC responded the only rational way they could. Sweetie somehow conjured enough magic to throw the sofa at the witches, they then jumped out the window and ran back to town screaming. “They didn’t take the book,” Serah said. “Yes I can see that” Winnie responded. “What do we do now?” Mary asked. “We… make the potion and go into town in time for our musical number?” Winnie suggested. In Ponyvillie itself, the residents were enjoying themselves. While Applebloom and Sweetie Bell looked for their sisters, Scootaloo looked for Rainbow Dash. “But sis!” Applebloom protested. “No buts about it young filly, whatever prank Anon’s got going on there ain’t any witches” Applejack said, not believing the story. “That goes double for you Sweetie Bell, honestly I thought you were smart enough to see through Anon’s obvious pranks” Rarity chided. “Hey everypony!” Scootaloo yelled through a microphone. On a stage where Mayor Mare should be stood, Scootaloo had knocked over the microphone stand. “Listen I know this is going to sound crazy, but me and my friends Applebloom and Sweetie Bell accidentally summoned three evil witches, there here and they’re real and- AND THERE THEY ARE!” She explained into the microphone. But as she did her expression turned to fear as the Sanderson sisters arrived. The attention of the whole town was on these three mares. But not in the way the CMC was hoping. “Thank you Scootaloo, for that marvellous introduction” Winnie thanked. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=DCTbr3vjb6I  The town was dancing, the upbeat music whacking the party into high gear.  With the adults distracted, the witches got to work. “Come sisters, our time is at hand” Winnie said. Using their magic they mounted broomsticks that had been used for decorations and began flying through the air. “Use your voice Serah! Fill the sky! Bring those little brats to die!” Winnie ordered. Back on the ground Scootaloo finally found Rainbow, stuck in a drinking contest with Big Mac. “Rainbow Dash!” She cried out. “Hick, great prank Scoots, 120% cooler than then the Rich’s hall of haunted tax hikes” Rainbow congratulated. “Rainbow this isn’t a prank! Look!” Scootaloo yelled, climbing onto the table and forcing her idol’s head towards the sky. “Ok what did you want me to se- Sweet flank of Celestia!” Rainbow cried in shock at the sight of three unicorns flying on broomsticks. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=AbuZD_1M6Mo  Watching the fillies and colts following the witches back to Anon’s house, the Mane 6 (minus Fluttershy who was mysteriously absent from the party) gave chase. “Hey morons! Actual witches are stealing your kids!” Rainbow yelled out. Snapping the ponies out of the catchy toon. Reaching the house, the Sanderson sisters served out a green liquid to every foal in Ponyville. “Drink my little ones! Drink!” Winnie called out.  “No!” The parents called out as they raced towards their children. But it was too late, one by one the foals drank the witches potions. “It’s punch?” Snips said in confusion. Letting out a burst of laughter, the Sanderson sisters disappeared, showing Anon, Trixie and Fluttershy, the two former laughing madly. “S-sorry for keeping it a secret, Anon said it would be funny” Fluttershy apologised. While all of Ponyvillie looked on in confusion, Anon continued to laugh his flank off. “You should have seen the look on all of your faces! You were all like “oh please don’t eat our children” that was the best Halloween prank ever!” Anon continued to cackle, occasionally gasping for air. “The Great and Powerful Trixie is so glad she was hired to perform illusions for this trick!” Trixie laughed. “Oh hey Princess Luna, nice to meet you, I’m Anon” Anon stopped laughing to introduce himself to the Princess of the Night, who was standing over him. Anon proceeded to spend two months in Canterlot’s dungeons and was banned from putting on any more Nightmare Night events under pain of exile. Trixie was run out of town yet again. And Fluttershy got a slap on the hoof. It really hurt. She cried slightly. … “And that’s why Anon isn’t allowed to do anything for Nightmare Night anymore” Twilight finished her story. AN: Yes I know that Halloween is a month away, but don’t worry. I’ve got something BIGGER planned for the that special~ May have mistranslated a few lines but it’s been a while since I’ve seen the film so YouTube’s helped a bit. Come on we all agree Anon would throw the best Nightmare Night parties. Hey! Parties are my thing! God damn it Pinkie stop breaking down my wall!