Stones On The Trail
A week passed by in a flash, the days coming in and out, like shooting stars in the midnight sky.
My body had recovered well enough, I was no longer sore nor had any pain along my injured side, my legs recovered their strength the day after the party, so I was back on my feet and roaming the hospital halls.
Nurse Redheart, all ponies seemed to have their names related to the strange tattoos on their butts, had insisted that I take it slow and not to push myself, blah blah blah... I wanted to move! It can get incredibly boring, not being able to stand up, luckily for me, my stitches hadn't opened and I had been allowed to walk out of my room.
Hospital food didn't really appeal to me, but this was the worst. Daisy sandwiches... No, it wasn't the name for an odd salad or some weird European brand of ham... It was bread, with motherfucking daisies inside it! How the fuck was I supposed to eat that shit? Might as well hop out of the hospital and eat the grass that grew outside it!
God, that stuff tasted horrible! It made me sick for a whole day, puking motherfucking daisies and grass... The doctors had to find something else to give me, didn't take long though, lucky me! They have fruits and vegetables here, so at least I wouldn't starve, but the lord is my witness, I would have killed for a steak...
Not a good idea to say that out loud though... These ponies were herbivores, the sole mention of feeding of the flesh of their four legged brethren would mark me as a complete monster! So I was stuck with a fucking apple a day, some salad and a baked potato with sour cream and cheese... At least the potato was good...
Sadly for me, the washing machine destroyed my old clothes in some sort of weird bleaching accident, and the short ass robes I had been wearing didn't last. Turns out that trying to pull it down so it fits better only causes it to rip.
One of the nurses had the misfortune of walking in on me with the robes completely destroyed, she fainted and they had to reanimate her.
After that small accident, the doctors tried to come up with another mutant-ass robe for me to wear, but it kind of ended up the same way, only this time it wasn't my fault, some cross eyed pegasus barged in through a window and tore it to pieces, claiming it was a ghost...
So, I had to cover myself with the remnants of my old pants, now colored pink and really fragile, until Rarity came over to take some measurements for new clothing.
She had spent hours speaking of how fabulous it was going to look.
"Why darling, you'll look simply astonishing in your new outfit!" She had exclaimed as a measuring tape circled my arm.
"Um, yeah, just don't make it too sparkly or anything, ok? As long as it looks cool I'm ok with it." I replied, slightly unsure of what to expect from Rarity, she seemed overly obsessed with gems and shiny things.
"Why, Rainbow Dash said the exact same thing before the gala!" She giggled, unaware that she had hit a delicate subject.
"She did huh? Has she said anything else lately?" I grew somber, the rainbow colored pony hadn't visited or anything, not that I expected her to, but I could feel a growing resentment towards her.
Rarity noticed and hurriedly tried to switch the topic.
"Oh, well dear, I really have not seen Rainbow in a while, but do tell me, what type of color would you prefer for the shirt?" She smiled at me, hoping that I didn't press with the topic.
I simply shrugged and smiled back, now was not the time for answers, although it would be soon.
"Black, or red. Either one is fine, a combination would be nice though..." I stroked my chin, thinking about the multiple patterns that could be made out of both colors.
"Mhm, any particular symbols or marks you'd like for me to add?" Rarity had pulled out a small notebook and was writing down my specifications.
"Well, there is one thing..." I scratched my head, unsure whether it would be appropriate to add such a thing.
"What is it dear?" Rarity looked up from her notes and waited for me to answer.
Taking the notebook from her, as well as the quill she was writing with, I proceeded to sketch out a rough drawing of a large Gothic cross surrounded by flames, I also wanted a few skulls but I didn't think the ponies would appreciate it...
My sketch finished, I handed the notebook back to Rarity, she looked at it, and then back at me.
"Um... It's a, well, interesting symbol... May I ask what it means?" She arched an eyebrow and stared at me curiously.
"Nothing in particular, the cross does symbolize something but the overall sketch is just meant to look cool." I shrugged and smiled.
"Very well Iron, I'll have it ready as soon as possible! In the mean time, I made you these." She pulled out of a saddlebag what looked like a roman toga, only difference being that this one was dyed in a green, emerald tone, the borders were encrusted in sapphires, it looked so awesome though! "I am terribly sorry about the simplistic design, but I was so busy trying to fill an order for Canterlot! I hope you'll at least find it comfortable."
Smiling widely, I took the toga and pulled it over my head, and on top of my current clothing, it fit quite nicely and was really comfortable.
And so the days had gone by, Rarity had been stopping by when she wasn't sure about a certain measure or when she simply wanted to share some tea, our conversations were not very lively, since I knew little of fashion, but she enjoyed listening about the different styles of clothing from my world, and when I wasn't certain of something, I simply enhanced the truth a bit.
Twilight also stopped by from time to time, mostly to ask some questions, other times to take notes on what my world was like, and a few other occasions, to simply chat.
After the third visit I had already filled her in on what I remembered about getting here, oddly enough, I couldn't remember how I got here, only the day before getting here, and the events after I fell on the forest.
"So you can't recall anything?" Twilight looked up from her little notebook.
"Nope, not a thing." I replied, munching on a cupcake Pinkie had brought me earlier that day.
"Well that's odd, you seem to remember every event of your life previous to the accident perfectly!"
"I know, it's like the memory just isn't there!" I finished the cupcake and licked my fingers. "Hey, wanna hear some ancient history?"
Twilight immediately perked up at that, she seemed to enjoy universal history almost as much as I enjoyed narrating it.
"Sure thing! Tell me more about the Egyptians!"
And so the days had gone, Applejack also visited, although rarely due to her having to run a farm 24/7. Pinkie Pie's visits had been rather frequent, if completely random, there were times when she simply popped up out of nowhere in the middle of the night! At least she was careful not to wake up the kids when they slept over.
Fluttershy had volunteered to take care of the three babies while I was hospitalized, I missed them, but it was better than exposing them to the diseases of a hospital after all...
All of that, and the fact that the hospital walls had become quite dull and boring, made the day I was finally able to leave all the better!
Wearing the shirt and pants that Rarity had made for me, and guided by Twilight and Applejack out of the hospital, I finally gazed upon the sights of Ponyville! Fluttershy was waiting for us outside with Pinkie, all three kids waiting impatiently to see me again.
They rushed towards me as soon as they saw me, jumping and laughing, they made me lose my balance and I fell on my back, while the three of them jumped up and down all around me.
Laughing happily, I sat up and embraced them in a mighty bear hug, damn it felt good to be back!
Standing up, I looked at the kids a little closer, all three of them were walking perfectly now, and they displayed emotion and affection quite well.
They were growing up really fast, I remembered the first time I saw Aquilder, he had trouble walking, and stumbled when moving around, the other two had been no different, but after just a few minutes of roaming around in Rarity's boutique the first night, they mastered it!
Their mind was also developing swiftly, they showed actual emotion in just a matter of days, I'm not sure how old they were when Discord gave them to me, but they hadn't seem overly smart.
Maybe it had to do with their animal half, since they were still related to an animal they probably grew in the same manner.
Horses learned to walk as soon as they were born, bulls too, eagles didn't but Aquilder was half lion, soooo, unicorn magic? Who knows...
A thought suddenly crossed my mind, and I facepalmed so hard I could have broken my nose.
"Shit! Fluttershy? What have you been feeding them so far?" I asked, worried. If they were growing as fast as I thought they were, then it wouldn't be long until...
"I-I, s-some baby formula and small amounts of grass for Lightshine..." She mumbled, slightly scared of my outburst. "Is... Is there a problem with that?"
Sighing, I massaged my closed eyes, I found it helped calm me down whenever I was overly stressed. Something about slowing down the heartbeat and whatnot.
"It's their growth rate, they're going to start eating solids soon..." I said after a while.
"So, what's the problem sugarcube?" Applejack asked, slightly confused.
I opened my eyes and looked at the five ponies around me, Twilight seemed to be catching on to what I meant, but the others were blank.
Reaching down and picking up Aquilder into my arms, I held him up so the ponies could see. He giggled and opened his beak.
"This is the problem, Aquilder is not an omnivore, he's a full fledged carnivore... And I doubt any of you know a good butcher around here..." I looked from pony to pony, hoping against hope that they knew about someone who could provide. Sadly, their expressions showed exactly what I had thought, nothing...
"Oh my..." Was all Rarity could say.
"Dagnabbit!" Applejack stomped the ground with her hoof.
"Well this is a problem..." Twilight looked down at the floor and kicked a rock with her hoof.
Pinkie Pie placed a hoof on her chin and pondered at the situation for a while.
"Oooh! I know! We can give him cat food!" Pinkie smiled happily and bounced up and down.
The other ponies looked at her, confused and grossed out for a while, before Twilight surprisingly agreed.
"It's... It's not a bad idea, cat food has the same nutrients and proteins a carnivore requires from a meat based diet, he could definitely eat it." Twilight shrugged and perked up slightly.
"Well, now that you mention it, Opal is actually quite pleased with the brand I give her, perhaps I could arrange for a few more cans of it to be delivered to you Iron?" Rarity smiled kindly and walked towards me, she was obviously happy to have come to such an easy outcome for what could have been a major problem.
I, on the other hand, begged to differ.
Looking at them as if they had just slapped my mother with a tuna, I immediately began to protest.
"Guys, what the fuck? Are you all seriously suggesting that I feed cat food to my son? Can't you all just see a small hint of how fucked up it sounds?!" Bewildered at their suggestion I placed Aquilder back on the floor, where he resumed playing with his siblings.
"Iron please calm down, it's only temporary until we can find the correct spell to change his eating habits." Twilight placed a hoof on my arm, and smiled reassuringly.
Oh, you have no idea of how pissed off I was actually getting at that moment.
"Change his what? Why would we need to change what he is? It's not his fault! And I'm not letting you use magic on him, sorry but that stuff is just plain freaky." I looked at Twilight with a small hint of annoyance.
They wanted to change him for what he ate? What the fuck?! Why not just order for some meat from a large city or something? Surely there were bound to be other gryphons around here that ate meat, why not buy some from them?
"Well Iron, Ah'm sorry but it's the only way, Ah mean, he can't eat our food can he?" Applejack moved closer to me.
Looking into her eyes made me shiver slightly, what they were suggesting was completely wrong. In some ways it resembled what the Nazis had done to those they considered 'inferior', a few cuts here and there, and boom! They can't reproduce! Changed for the greater good of the supreme Aryan race!
Bullshit!
"No fucking way! Sorry but no! I am not having my kid mutilated just because your society doesn't like what he eats."
"Iron please, you have to understand, this isn't something we do just because, if we were to feed Aquilder actual meat, then where do you think that meat would come from?" Twilight looked into my eyes, trying to instill her herbivore logic into me.
Well, sorry to disappoint Twilight, but I've gone fishing before and I ate those delicious motherfuckers, fucking yum!
So, staring back into her eyes with a determined gaze, I said in the most badass voice I could muster.
"The meat would come from wherever it needs to come from, I don't care, if the kid's hungry then I feed him, no questions asked."
She stared at me in shock, completely amazed, all the ponies were completely astonished by my answer, they were obviously expecting me to hang my head in guilt for even suggesting that we kill animals for food, what they got was definitely more than what they bargained for.
They tried to convince me for about half an hour, but stopped after they realized that I simply wasn't going to change my mind.
So we simply agreed to disagree, they promised that they were not going to mess with my kids and I swore to find some way to feed them without causing harm to any of the local wildlife, it helped a lot that they didn't specify what they meant by local.
After the argument had passed, we moved on to the next thing on the list.
The buildings of Ponyville were colorful to say the least, extremely bright would barely come to describe them.
As I walked towards them I began to notice just how strangely designed they were, Rarity's boutique was modeled after a carousel, which made sense since it was called Carousel Boutique.
But so many other designs were scattered throughout the small town, my eyes darted from house to house, admiring the strange architecture and intricate colors.
"You guys sure love coloring don't you?" I asked no one in particular as the six of us moved through the street and away from the hospital.
"Who doesn't! Colors are so happy and fun! I don't think Ponyville would be the same without them!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed, joyful as always.
"This must be quite the change for you Iron, I mean, from what you have told me about your world it sounded sort of... Dull!" Twilight smiled to show that she meant no offense.
"And those dreadful slums you mentioned! Why, I can almost smell the scent of garbage just from thinking about them!" Rarity gasped and cringed slightly at the thought.
I smiled, these ponies were too innocent, and I wasn't offended in the slightest, in all truth? Yeah, my world was dull, and yup, many streets smelled of garbage, urine and other wastes.
"Heh, yeah, this place is so clean as well, it's as if people actually listened to green peace around here..." I was actually starting to enjoy the place, the three kids were tagging along quietly behind Fluttershy.
This town would make a nice home for them.
Not all was fun and hope though, as I continued to look around me I began to notice that many ponies were staring, slack jawed at me. Fear in their little pony eyes.
Instinctively tensing up, I clenched my fists and looked around me.
The stallions were placing themselves in front of the mares in a defensive manner, distrust in their eyes.
"Don't worry sugarcube, they're just nervous round strangers is all." Applejack smiled before turning around to look at the crowd, I have no idea what her eyes showed, but it must have been hella scary for the ponies to lower their heads like that, acting like scowled children.
"Sure , nervous..." It was getting really, really, REALLY uncomfortable. It was bad enough when they were just staring, but now the whispering started and it was driving me crazy.
You know, that sense of annoyance when you do something stupid and hear someone snickering behind you, you can't do shit but you're almost certain he is laughing at you...
"So, how do you like the shirt dear?" Rarity asked, trying to alleviate the heavy mood.
"Yeah, it's a mighty strange symbol you got there! What's it mean?" Applejack played along with Rarity, and I, of course, complied.
"The cross symbolizes a human religion, I'm not a follower, but half the world has faith in it, I just wear it because it was the symbol the Knight Templars and Hospitallers used during the crusades." I explained enthusiastically, I personally loved history, especially the whole crusading period of it.
To think so many men would march towards their deaths for faith and faith alone, an idea they had no proof about, it was... Inspiring.
"Crusades? Ya mean the sort o' stuff mah sister does? Looking for their cutie marks?" Applejack seemed kind of... Wait cutie what? Sounded like a strippers name...
"Yeah, do humans have cutie marks Iron?" Pinkie asked as she continued to hop around.
Twilight and Rarity looked at me curiously, I simply stared back at them, confused, what the hell is a cutie mark?
"Cutie what?" I smiled slightly confused.
Twilight then went on an explaining rampage, citing quotes from scientific ponies and what not... I kind of zoned out after a while, but still managed to grasp the basic concept.
Damn fascist ponies... Controlling their children's futures like that...
Too bad for me, they seemed to love the idea of a cutie mark, and I gotta hand it to them, it'd be soooo helpful to just know that I'm meant to work at a McDonalds till I die and skip all the school crap.
Could have improved on my people skills so I could make it to manager or something...
"Well, nope, we don't have marks like that, although social classes pretty much determine what we do anyways..." I shrugged and kept on walking, the awkward onlookers had begun to disperse, but several still looked at me curiously, if not slightly frightened.
I did my best to break the ice, saying good morning to as many ponies as I could, smiling at them and ignoring the awkwardness of the situation.
But still... It hurt man... To be the weird one, the one that doesn't belong... It hurt, even if just a little, it was like that awkward first day of high school, not knowing anyone and being by myself.
Whatever, I just kept on walking, as calmly as possible.
I'm trying to be friendly, fuck me right?
Pinkie Pie said goodbye as we neared a strange building in the middle of a street, it looked like a big ass gingerbread house with ice cream, sprinkles and cupcakes on top of it, I'm pretty sure I got some sort of diabetes just by looking at it...
I said goodbye and Pinkie gave me a quick hug before stuffing my mouth with a chocolate cupcake and heading inside her house, the question still bothered me though... Where did she get the cupcake from? All ponies were naked and they didn't have any sort of bag or anything! Unicorn magic I guess...
Rarity was the next one to leave, she had some dresses or something to finish, like Pinkie, she gave me a quick hug before entering her own home, no freaky cupcake though.
The remaining ponies led me through the streets of Ponyville and into what seemed to be a wealthy neighborhood.
"Well, what have we got here? I thought you ponies lived in some sort of socialist utopia where social elites no longer existed... I guess the rich and powerful always have their way in the end..." I glanced around the luxurious buildings, some were somewhat modest in their design, but there were a large majority that weren't.
Hell! One of the buildings even looked like a gold coin! That's taking the whole bragging thing to a new level!
As I eyed the house oddly, my luck got even worse. From behind me, a loud voice shouted in one of the most frenzied tones I have ever heard.
"HEY YOU! I DON'T LIKE NEWCOMERS HANGING OUT WITH MY MARES!"
Applejack and Twilight gave sighs of exasperation, Fluttershy simply blushed and hid behind her mane.
Quickly turning around revealed the strangest sight so far in this world of strangeness and weirdness mixed with oddity and a four hundred milligram doze of fucked-up-ness.
"What the fuck is Arnold Schwarzenegger doing here?" I blinked stupidly at the sight before me. The weird stallion in front of me looked even more full of steroids than goddamn Arnold, Stallone and a fucking football player all combined!
He had red eyes, military styled yellowish hair and every single muscle in his body looked like it was on the brink of exploding and splattering the ground in blood and illegal medication...
"YEEAAAAAH!!!!" He shouted and got in position to charge me.
Twilight and Applejack tried to stop him with reasoning and words, but it fell on my shoulders to restore order... Macho-style!
"ENTRALE HIJO DE TU MUY PUTA MADRE!" I hollered at him, smiling widely, no way he could understand me but still, the look of confusion on his face was priceless! But I paid for that really bad...
He recovered from my shout and ran straight at me, I had no time to dodge, laughter wouldn't let me!
On his back were the tiniest motherfucking wings I had ever seen! Comparing them to the bulky mass of muscle his body was, the fucking things looked nonexistent! Too bad though, my laughter was short lived.
The behemoth hit me headfirst on the stomach.
"Ah shit!" I gasped as I hit the floor, nothing broke at least, so that was something.
"YEEEAAAAAH!! YOU IMPRESSED YET APPLETART?" The monster could have shattered walls with the sheer force of his screams.
"HER NAME. IS. APPLEJACK!" I shouted back, more for saying something than anything else, but I'm pretty sure I caught a glimpse of a smiling orange pony.
With all the strength I could summon, and that is no small quantity mind you, I was well toned on my arms, I grabbed him by the shoulders and pushed.
He seemed shocked, obviously not used to having someone match him in strength, I doubt anyfucking pony could ever hope to win a fight against that bastard.
However, he was still heavy as fuck, so I couldn't push him off, instead though, I managed to bend my knee and hit him on the stomach. He winced in pain and slightly lost his grip on me.
Smiling with glee, I immediately rolled to the side on the floor, he fell on his back and I stood up quickly, and before he could regain his fighting stance, I landed on top of him, pinning his hooves to the ground and pressing my knee against his stomach.
"YEEEEAAAAH!" He hollered right in front of my fucking face, shit that hurt!
"The fuck is wrong with you dude?!" I asked after he quieted down.
"YOU TRIED TO SEDUCE MY MARES! THERE'S NO ROOM IN TOWN FOR TWO STALLIONS!" HE LOO- sorry, He looked me in the eye and tried to break free of my hold.
Too bad for him, having hands gave me quite a good grip on his hooves, and I wasn't gonna let go.
"The fuck you talking about?! There's a shitload of other guys around town!" I asked in complete confusion, how the fuck could this guy consider me the only other male in town?
"THE OTHER PONIES KNOW WHO IS THE ALPHA MALE! THEY ARE NO THREAT TO MY HAREM! BUT YOU ARE STRONG AND TALL, IT IS MY DUTY TO DEFEND THE BEAUTIFUL MARES IN TOWN FROM ANOTHER ALPHA!"
"Um... I'm flattered?" Unicorn magic, unicorn magic, unicorn magic... This was making less sense every fucking second...
"NOT A PROBLEM! NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE MYSELF TO THE ONE WHO BESTED ME!"
Letting go of his hooves, I slowly stood up and glanced around.
Ponies, ponies everywhere!
We were once again circled by curious onlookers, a couple hundred I guess, they all stared in disbelief at us, a couple mares had fainted, and one or two stallions were looking with envy at me.
Oh shit... What the fuck had I gotten myself into now...
"I AM SNOWFLAKE! PLEASED TO MEET YOU!" The steroid pony, clever nickname I know, extended his hoof at me.
"Iron Galley." I shook his hoof and glanced around again. "What are they looking at?" I nodded at the ponies around us.
Snowflake smiled a really freaky smile.
"THEY ARE LOOKING AT THE NEWEST CASANOVA IN TOWN! TAG ALONG NEWBIE! I'LL SHOW YOU AROUND!" Snowflake placed a hoof on my shoulder and dragged me towards what looked like a bar of some sort.
"Um... Actually, I was kind of in the middle of a tour with..."
"Don'tcha worry Iron! We'll keep this here kiddos safe till ya come back!" Applejack smiled and waved a hoof at me.
"Yeah, it will do you good to socialize a bit with the townsponies and make a few friends!" Twilight beamed and waved a hoof as well.
"Just mind yer cider and don't get a bone broken!" Applejack joked, and then smiled. "Or get someone's bone broken!"
"Haha, good one Applejack..." I tried my best to laugh sincerely but this whole thing was getting so weird I just didn't think I could handle it.
"YEEEAAAAH! TONIGHT! WE DINE IN TARTARUS!" Snowflake laughed as he led me towards the bar named Tartarus.
Ah shit! What the fuck am I gonna do now?