As was always seemingly the case when not trying to create a negative mood-
"Mr Author, I think you left some of your notes in the chapter!"
Izzy, I'm currently correcting that!
"Oh. OK. Then I'll leave you to it!"
EXCUSE ME A MOMENT AS I FIX THE STORY...
It was a lovely sunny day in the county of Cornwall. The sun shone, as the sun does on sunny days, and the grass was green. But the eternal question still remained- is it always sunny in Philadelphia?
"I don't even live there!"
I know, Sunny. That's why I was asking the question, not to mention the float too.
Anyway, the sun was shining and the sky was blue, and the narrator wasn't speaking incredibly slowly. In short, it was a good day all around.
Charles was waiting at the junction at Truro for some cargo to arrive. "What was it again?" he asked Zipp.
Zipp consulted her work order. "The text says something about a Special Special, but that doesn't make sense. Maybe the foreman's keyboard was broken when he wrote it and it duplicated the word special numerous times?"
"Sounds silly," Charles replied. "I mean, why call it a special special? A special train, by definition, has priority over all other traffic, so adding the second special doesn't convey extra meaning and simply wastes words."
"It's good if you're trying to artificially inflate the word count on a story, though," Argyle said from nearby. "It's partly why setting word limits on academic work can be a problem. Students get ridiculously verbose in order to hit the word count more easily."
"Rather like the decrees," Charles noted. "Those are always written in excessively flowery English."
"Yeah," Zipp noted. "It still feels weird to be referred to as 'issue'."
"What are they?" Brookes asked.
"It's an old fashioned way of saying somebody has kids."
"Ahhh," said everybody at once. Except Zipp.
Just then, a freight train arrived. One of the vehicles in the formation was a rather wide van. "A vanwide!" Charles said. "I haven't seen one of those in a while!"
"There aren't many left in the UK," said the engine, as she was detached from the train and moved off to the loop. "Take care with the package inside! It's marked handle with care."
Charles was then backed onto the train, and once Zipp was done coupling him up they were on their way back down the line to Falmouth.
As it was a surprisingly busy day, virtually every section of line was in use. This meant Charles was constantly stopping and starting on his way down the line with his cargo. The first stop was Perranwell, where Charles came to a stop before the signal- a little too aggressively, might I add.
"Careful!" Zipp said.
"You applied my brake handle, not me," Charles replied. "It's on you."
The box had shifted inside the vanwide, but nobody knew this. Just then, Rebecca arrived with a fish train.
"Hello Charles!" she said. "You look cheerful."
"I am transporting a very important item, which must be handled with care," Charles smiled smugly. "I get this job because I am, of course, important."
"I didn't think it was possible for him to get even more puffed up than he already was," Hitch said.
"I heard that!"
Luckily for Charles, the signal then changed, and he was back underway to Falmouth. There was another loud bang from the vanwide as he got underway.
"That didn't sound good," Hitch said.
"Well, at least Zipp wasn't pouring syrup all over a bronze statue, was she?" Rebecca asked, rhetorically.
"Why would Zipp be pouring syrup on a statue?" Hitch asked, confused.
"In case the statue was hungry?"
Hitch shook his head. "Pouring syrup on a statue because they think it's hungry? Who'd be daft enough to try that?"
Next, Charles had to stop at Penrhyn to let a passenger train arrive. To his surprise, Bellerophon was pulling it. "Fancy you, pulling passengers!" he said.
"I am vacuum fitted, you know," Bellerophon replied, as he came to a stop. "All change!"
There was another bang from the vanwide. "Sounds like the box has shifted again," Charles said.
"A box?" Misty asked. "What's in the box?"
"Something important," Zipp replied. "Which is why it would be nice if it stopped sliding about."
"Is it alive?" Bellerophon asked. "That might be why it's moving?"
"Why would something that's alive be transported in a crate?" Zipp asked. "I'm pretty certain that would breach animal cruelty laws. If it were alive it'd be moved in something like a cattle van or an elephant van."
"Good point," Misty said. "Otherwise somebody might want to put fish in the box."
"Who'd be daft enough to try that?" Zipp snorted, and then the signal changed. "Right, away we go!"
They pulled away- and once again there was a loud bang from the vanwide.
"That doesn't sound good," Bellerophon said. "I hope that whatever it is, it arrives in one piece."
One last loop sat between Charles and Falmouth, and as he pulled into the loop at Penmere another train rolled in, loaded with vans filled with drinks.
"Hello!" Salty said. "Not often I get a trip up to Truro!"
"What are you taking there?" Charles asked.
"Sunny's experimenting with selling her drinks at the station," Salty said. "She's going places, I tell you."
Sunny stuck her head out of the cab. "What are you transporting?"
Just then, the load in the vanwide shifted again. "Something very mobile," Zipp replied.
"Maybe it's cheese?" Sunny suggested.
"We won't take that risk again, not after the cheese fiasco a few months back," Zipp said. "I don't think putting a smoothie in it would help either."
Sunny blinked. "That's weirdly specific. Wouldn't pouring a smoothie in there make the object sticky?"
"I wouldn't be surprised if somebody tried it," Charles said, just as the signal changed. "Right then! Only a mile to go!"
And sure enough the object in the vanwide moved again.
Salty looked over. "I don't think that load has been secured very well."
"You can say that again," Sunny replied.
"I don't think that load has been se-"
"Overused joke, Salty!"
At long last, they arrived in the yard, and Charles (after quite a bit of shuffling stock) shunted the vanwide into the loading dock for unloading. The workmen took the box out of the van and loaded it onto a small electric vehicle, and drove it away to elsewhere in town.
Just then, Zipp heard an incredible noise coming from the main street. "What on Earth is that?" she asked, and headed off towards the noise to find out what was going on.
When she arrived, she was amazed. Proceeding through the streets of Falmouth was a parade! And what a parade it was! Leading the formation was a set of four brass bands, each playing patriotic tunes and sounding to the blaring of trumpets and drums. Behind them were personnel of the CCF, marching in perfect step with one another and spaced precisely six inches apart.
Behind them came more brass bands, and after them followed the Town Council. There was the Mayor, followed by the Aldermen (and women) of the town. Behind them was the Town Cryer, and completing the procession was a pair of men carrying big sticks with crowns on the end.
And then, behind them, was the family Bentley- with Lady Haven inside.
"What is going on?" Zipp asked a bystander.
"There's a big event happening in the town square!" said a bystander. "Come to think of it, why aren't you with Her Ladyship?"
"Just got back from a delivery job, but I'll head up there now."
Zipp arrived just as the last of the formation arrived, and the CCF stood off to one side still as statues. Which was mildly creepy. The Bentley had pulled up, and Lady Haven and Pipp had gotten out.
The CCF members turned to face them, and then the Mayor began to speak. "As a marker of our humble gratitude to the fine works conducted by the fair Duchy of Dorset, we hereby dedicate this display to them."
Lady Haven glanced over to Zipp. "Over here!" she said.
Zipp quietly scooted over and stopped next to her mother as the veil was removed from the object. Zipp recognised the box behind it, and her jaw dropped in horror.
The object was a statue. And the statue was quite badly scuffed.
"Oh no..." Zipp said quietly. She felt very foolish.
Pipp noticed this, and switched sides to put her arm around her. "No worries!" she said. "We can just apply some polish and it'll look good as new!" She produced her phone and hit a button. "Isn't that right, Pippsqueaks?"
Sure enough, the townsfolk got to work on polishing the statue, and when they were done it looked good as new. Zipp looked at it closely. "Wait a second... the statue..."
Pipp grinned. "It's us!"
The Mayor smiled too. "All the work your family has done has helped regenarate our town," he said. "And we thought this statue would be a fitting way for us to give back."
"Besides," Lady Haven said, with a smile, "cleaning it helped bring us all together. Selfie, anybody?"
And so the town square sounded to laughter and joy.