"Hear ye, hear ye!" Hitch called, from a stand in the centre of Falmouth. "I am proud to announce that the most frightening of festivities, the most spooktacular of scares, and the most mundane of maledictions is upon our fair town once more!"
"You do know Halloween isn't for another seven months, right?" asked a listener.
"I know indeed," Hitch replied, "but in keeping with the old town tradition we shall have a maze of many frights and haunts. Of chills and spills! Of slips and slides! And of-"
"People and trains getting smart?" Asked somebody else.
"That only happens if you don't concentrate on the thing that you're doing," Hitch pointed out. "This year we shall be marking the most spooky of systems on a moving train! A scare maze that ends in a different location to where you start!"
"Don't most scare mazes in a different location to where you start?" asked another listener.
"Sort of," Hitch said. "But there shall be so much to do! Trick and treating, a costume contest, trick and treating whilst engaging in a costume contest- wait a second, that's a typo- and whomever can locate the golden pumpkin will win a special prize!"
That seemed to rile the crowd up. "I may give this a look," said one spectator. "Count me in!"
Jazz and Rocky were at the back of the crowd, and looked over the heads of the other people to try and figure out what was going on. "A big prize?" Rocky said. "I like the sound of that?"
"So, what could it be?" Jazz asked. "A treasure trove of chocolate?"
"A gourd dipped in gold?" Rocky suggested.
"Or how about a treasure trove of chocolate inside a gourd dipped in gold?" Jazz proposed.
"Whatever it is, I'll be racing to find it!" Rocky smiled.
"Not if I get there first!" Jazz grinned, and was soon on her way.
Hitch smiled. "Looks as though this year's event will be going better than I could ever have thought!"
In the carriage sidings, the team were busy decorating the coaches with all sorts of spooky decorations. "I've done all sorts of odd things," Pipp said, "but a fright event in March? This is completely new. I'm not totally sure who I'll be dressing up as yet."
"Probably a witch," Zipp said.
Pipp's eyes went wide. "How did you know?"
"It was either that or a princess when we were younger," Zipp said. "Any excuse to wear a puffy dress, really."
"I'll be pushing the boat out this time," Pipp smiled. "Now that I'm almost an adult I can really make it spooky!"
"I'll be a vampire," Zipp smiled. "Those are always popular." She then switched voices. "Zey von't know vhat hit zem!"
"What was that accent?" Sunny asked.
"An intentionally bad German one."
"But I thought Dracula was Romanian?" Hitch enquired.
"At the time the book takes place, Transylvania was part of the Austro-Hungarian Empire," Zipp clarified.
"Interesting," Sunny said.
"I'll be a wizard!" Misty said. "Should be easy for me, given the weirdness we seem to find on a daily basis."
"You're a wizard, Misty!" Pipp quipped, and they all momentarily stopped working to laugh.
"So, what'll you be, Hitch?" Izzy asked.
"Arr, I'll be a pirate, ye mightiest thing on the Seven Seas!" Hitch said. "And avast, I'll be keepin' up me accent the whole day!"
Salty glanced over. "That is one of the worst Cornish accents I have ever heard."
"Unfortunately, I don't have a parrot, so an accordion will have to do," Hitch said, as he produced an accordion and began to play it.
"I never knew you could play the accordion!" Izzy said.
"Trade secret. Now then, Izzy, what will you be dressing as?"
"A ghost," Izzy smiled. "A ghost made of mayonnaise!"
"That's oddly specific," Pipp said. "Why not something else, like-"
"DON'T SAY IT!"
Pipp shrugged. "What? I wasn't going to say white pudding."
Izzy then jumped in a bucket and started singing.
Sunny looked over. "We'd probably best spend less time gossiping and more time working. We've only got a limited amount of time until the train is booked to depart."
None of them noticed that the piles of cans they had made were mysteriously falling through the floor.
Now at the platform, Misty looked over. "So why exactly are we running a scare maze in March?"
Sunny stepped forward to explain. "A long time ago, Falmouth was home to a Mr. Hamada. Mr. Hamada was originally from Japan, and in Japan there is a tradition of running spooky attractions when the temperatures begin to increase, as spooky chills cool you down. Although he no longer lives here, we've continued the tradition in his honour."
Just then, the coaches were backed into the platform as a cart arrived. "Delivery of lots of apple products!" shouted a man driving a delivery lorry.
"My orders have arrived!" Sunny said, dashing over. "Here! Let me help you load them into the buffet car!"
In an underground bunker, Opaline was watching the festivities from a camera. "Enjoy your apple treats whilst you can, Sunny," she smiled. "What I have planned means you will never think about- wait a second, why are they enjoying apple treats? Any pastry chef worth their salt knows that the only good deserts are made with strawberries!"
Her speech was interrupted by a can of baked beans suddenly landing on the floor next to her. "What the?" She picked the can up and looked closely at it. "Boomer, have you been testing your new teleporter again? Because teleporting baked beans isn't hugely useful!"
She suddenly saw more cans falling into the room and landing on the ground. "This is most peculiar."
Suddenly, there was a knock at the door.
"Enter!"
"The door opened and a soldier stepped in. "Ma'am," he said. "We have found a new connection for the Strategic Reserve. It turns out it connects to the Cornish town where the traitor lives."
Opaline smiled. "Of course," she said. "That explains the baked beans! I've found a backdoor into our enemy's land, and will be able to attack them when they least expect!"
Back on the train, Pipp was checking the decorations in the other coaches. "Cobwebs, check!" she said. "Scare actors in compartments, check!" She then walked along a little further. "Bathroom- with no floor. Best put an out of use sign on that."
Just then a ghost flew by. "Zipp, is that your drone?"
"Yes it is, dressed up as a ghost!" Zipp said, appearing from a vestibule.
"Pipp, how much glue did you put on the cobwebs?" Misty asked from down the corridor.
"A bit. Why?"
"Because I'm stuck to it!"
Pipp shook her head. "Sunny, can I borrow the pizza cutter?"
Suddenly, all the lights in the coaches came on at once.
"The light effect works!" Izzy said, bouncing down the carriage. "This is perfect for simulating lightning!"
"It'll also blind everybody," Pipp pointed out. "Their eyes will have grown used to the dark and the sudden shift in light levels will make a mess of that!"
Having gotten herself free from the cobwebs, Misty walked into the buffet coach to see Sunny arranging all the food items. "Sure is a lot of food here, Sunny!" she said.
"Thanks!" Sunny said. "I baked most of it myself. There's a spare Cornish pasty if you'd like one- Lighthouse original, of course."
Misty looked closely. "What's pomme?"
"French for Apple," Sunny replied. "We've certainly got a lot of it here."
"How many different treats have you got here?" Misty asked.
Sunny thought for a second. "Let's see. Apples for bobbing, caramel apples, apple spice smoothies. Oh! Juggling apples, carving apples, apples to draw spooky little faces on, fried apple spice donuts, baked apple cinnamon cobbler, frosted apple spice cakes, apple-flavored water, which is just like regular water but you add apple pulp to it." She paused. "So I guess it's technically a juice."
"How did you learn how to make these?" Misty asked.
"Dad taught me," Sunny said. "Actually learned it from his dad, or my granddad. He was always saying that the idea that only women cook is a stereotype that needs to be broken, and given he was in the military being able to cook a ration pack is a useful skill. Not only that he made loads of American staples as he was homesick due to being based at a UK airbase." She paused. "Seriously, you should try the family meatloaf. It's fantastic!"
"Was your mom military too?"
"Nope," Sunny replied, as she moved a tray. "Actually met my dad whilst on a business trip in Germany. Dad was out photographing steam locomotives as part of his degree, and well the rest is history. They'll be along later to help me manage all this stuff."
Misty tried one of the pastries. "Wow. That is seriously nice. I bet you were popular at school parties!"
"Mainly for the food," Sunny said quietly. "My school years were a bit of a mixed bag- but let's not focus on that right now. Right now we have a party train to prepare!"
Back in her bunker, Opaline was readying her disguise, having adopted a grey business suit. She'd also tied her hair back into a ponytail, and sorted some hair strands around. "I probably won't be recognised looking like this," she said, as she applied a filter that adjusted her skin colour. "This should be exciting. Get ready, Falmouth. Opaline's back in town."
Back at Falmouth station, passengers were boarding at the rear of the train, being held in position in the luggage compartment of an old brake coach. This was partly because setup wasn't quite finished- some decorations hadn't been put into place, and Sunny had vanished off to the bathroom to get changed into her costume.
But if they thought they were going to have a real fright that night, it would come from an unexpected source. In the middle of town, a hidden doorway popped open- and Opaline climbed into the night air. "Perfect!" she said, as she closed the hatch behind her. "Time to turn this night into a nightmare spectacular!"
"Hello!" said a voice, and a man with a beard walked over. "I haven't seen you around here before. Are you knew to town?"
"What?" Opaline asked, and then adopted a more professional air. "Yes, yes I am. A new arrival, indeed. I'm on business in the region and fancied seeing a local town."
"Well, you'll find plenty of fish and fun tonight!" said the man with the beard. "Have fun, err... what's your name?"
Opaline had to think quickly, and said the first thing that came to mind. "Lindsay."
"Well, have fun, Lindsay!" said the man, and he walked away.
Opaline smiled. "Well, that went better than expected. Time to see what else I can find."
The train was finally ready, and with a roar it got underway. The holding pen was opened, and the passengers began to make their way up the train.
Unfortunately, they weren't very appreciative. "Did they buy all these supplies at Poundland?" said one person, looking very unimpressed.
Not helping the situation was the fact the effects kept breaking. A zombie's eyes consistently failed to illuminate, and lights kept randomly coming on.
Opaline continued her stroll through Falmouth. "Nobody so far has recognised me," she said. "Good thing. If they really all are this dumb, taking this country over will be a doddle- after I've dealt with the obvious, of course."
"You look like you're having fun!" shouted a spectator. "Seriously, do you ever break character?"
Opaline looked at him. "My character cannot be broken!" she snapped.
"She's intense!" said another, and they started laughing.
Opaline backed up and checked a device. "Perfect. I have a chance to test this object." She snuck up next to a lorry, and took out the stone she had recovered from the military base. "Sleep tight."
Just then, some energy started flowing out of the lorry and into the stone. After a few seconds, the lorry's face vanished, leaving just a bumper.
Opaline smiled. "It worked. Proceeding to evac point."
Back on the train, some of the crowd had reached the buffet coach- and it was complete chaos. Sunny looked about frantically. "You're supposed to eat the apple off the stick! It's not a toothpick!"
"I'll eat it how I want, thank you," they said, before throwing the stick on the floor.
Another crowd walked past and just grabbed the pastries off the plates, ate them, then walked on.
Goldie looked at them. "You're supposed to pay for those!"
"No I'm not," said the first visitor. "I never had one."
"You ate it before you got to the till."
"And if it's in my gut I don't need to pay, do I?"
Argyle walked over with some more. "How have we already gotten through 60% of our stock?"
"Because people keep taking loads without paying! It's one per person!" Sunny said. "This is so frustrating!"
When another person walked past and grabbed an entire plate of items, Sunny lost it. "Give those back now!"
"Or what?" they said. "You touch me and your face will look like pancake batter."
"I don't think you want to follow through with that threat," Argyle said, leaning over him ominously.
Just then, the train pulled into Truro, and the nightmare was finally over. People began to troupe back down the carriage to be let off- only to find the door at the back of the buffet coach locked. "What is this?" said one. "We're stuck!"
Sunny looked over. "You can't leave the train until you've paid for the food you took. It's in the conditions of carriage posted at the station."
"Well, how precisely do you plan to prove who took what?" said another person.
Goldie smiled. "It's a good thing I thought to install a security camera." She looked at the footage and smiled. "You, for instance, took an entire platter of iced buns. Each platter had 30 buns on it, and iced buns were 50p each, so you owe Sunny 15 pounds."
The look on their face was priceless.
Opaline returned to her bunker with a smile- and a glowing casket to boot. "Perfect!" she exclaimed. "The process worked perfectly! Everything is falling into place."
"Excellent," Boomer said, alongside several of Opaline's high command. "Are we ready?"
"No," Opaline said. "Not just yet. We are still yet to locate the Forgotten Ones. But I have a plan for that. I have many fingers in many pies in this land. And when the time is right, we shall strike. And then... I shall reclaim my birthright denied to me by those Dutch imposters who keep the throne warm." She smiled. "It won't be long now. Once I have returned to power, this nation will cease to be the laughing stock of the world. Soon, my followers... soon we shall build an empire on which the sun shall never set!"