Standing on the roof, Anon looked down at one shingle that was out of place.
It’s bottom left corner poked upwards leaving an opening into the attic. Without repairs it would eventually flood when it rains.
“Ok this should be easy” Anon said to himself.
Carefully, Anon positioned a nail over the loose shingle.
“Steady, steady” he said.
With a few wacks of his hammer the nail went in.
“Huh, that was easy” Anon said.
Packing up his tools he started to make his way off the roof before a spring noise came from the shingle.
The nail flew upwards leaving the shingle to loosen up yet again.
“Ok, let’s try that again” Anon said.
Putting another nail in the same result
“Ok I need more Anons” Anon stated.
And thus the Anon 6 began their epic war against the shingle.
Peganon uses extra nails
Unianon uses super glue.
Zebanon replaces the shingle.
Changeanon replaces all the shingles.
Ponanon replaces the entire roof.
But despite the ingenuity and genius of six Anons putting their heads together.
That damn shingle stayed loose.
“This shingle is without a doubt my Arch-Nemesis. Someone call Stalliongrad, they’ve been moved to secondary threat” Anon moaned, exhausted from replacing his entire roof several times in the same day.
“Hi Nonny, wanna come to a party I’m throwing tonight?” Pinkie greeted, standing over the collapsed thestral.
“Hey Pinks, sure I’d love to” Aon tiredly greeted.
“Anon what in tarnation are y’all doing?” Applejack asked as the rest of the Mane 6 approached. Confusion gripped her as she saw the six stallions collapse in exhaustion.
“We tried fixing a roof shingle but it’s being a dick. Now my house is going to flood” Anon explained.
“Anon, why do you even care if this place floods? You live in a palace” Rainbow asked.
“It’s still my house, I’ve got a lot of good memories here. Also if I leave one of my kids an empire and the rest get nothing in my will I’ll look like a total asshole” Anon explained.
“You really think this house is equal to an entire empire?” Twilight asked sarcastically.
“Yes, this place is awesome! Four bedrooms, a bathtub that can fit four ponies, a walk-in pantry, not to mention the sex dungeon I just got put in under the basement” Anon defended the honour of his house.
“Wait the what?” Rainbow asked, thinking she had missed the last part.
“It’s an anniversary gift for Cream,” Ponanon explained.
With that disturbing piece of information out of the way, the Mane 6 and Anon 6 tried to figure out what to do about this damn shingle.
“Screw it, I think we should just admit that unfortunately this problem is too big even for SIX Anons” Anon said, giving up to the power of the all-mighty shingle.
“Maybe you should just hire a professional?” Twilight suggested.
Anon had thought of that.
But he won’t.
Because that would be the NORMAL thing to do.
Thinking for a moment, Anon had an idea.
“Thanks for all the help girls, but I think I’ve got a solution” Anon stated as he and his five counterparts left towards the Crystal City.
“Why do I feel like they’re going to do something stupid?” Applejack asked.
Swallowing her breath, Twilight watched as the six green stallions disappeared into the distance.
“We should probably prepare for the worst, just in case” Twilight stated.
After spending another day flood proofing, storm proofing and fireproofing Ponyvillie, the girls returned to Anon’s house to see what he had done.
But the Anons were nowhere to be seen.
“You think he gave up?” Applejack asked.
“Um, I don’t think so,” Fluttershy said, pointing towards the Crystal City.
Anon, all six of him were rolling a large black ball across the fields towards the house.
Watching them approach, the Mane 6 looked on in horror. Even Rainbow Dash felt fear at what emerged from behind the ball.
“Hi girls, I made more mes” Anon greeted.
Coming out from behind the ball were a hippogriff and a griffon. Both plumages are a familiar shade of green.
“Morning girls I’m Griffanon and this is my counterpart Hippanon,” Griffanon introduced himself.
“How do you do, fellow quadrupeds” Hippanon greeted.
“Error, Twilight exe has stopped working” an invisible voice said as Twilight stood there motionless. Her face froze in shock.
“That’s it! I’m blowing up that lake!” Rainbow yelled.
“I thought we put a bigger boulder there after last time” Rarity asked, having not noticed her mane had gone pure white from shock.
“Oh we used our tank in it, child’s play really” Anon explained.
“Hey what’cha got there Nonnies?” Pinkie asked, poking the big ball they had been rolling.
“Actually this is Fluttershy’s handiwork” Unianon explained.
“M-me?” Fluttershy asked bashfully.
“Yeah, remember when you, Discord and I had tea a while back and we were talking about how I was struggling to learn the bigger spells? Well we took your idea for building a spell framework that allows a unicorn to augment spells in scope and intensity and put it into practice” Unianon explained.
“After months of hard work we built this, the ultimate scientific achievement. It’s actually based on the principles of something my grandpa worked on in the 50s” Anon continued.
“Behold! The megaspell!” They all said in unison. Doing a Doofenshmirtz impression.
The girls continued to look on with confusion and concern as the Anons showed off their toy.
“And… What does it do?” Pinkie asked.
“Oh it’s simple, once it’s set off it’ll rapidly age everything in a mile radius as if a hundred years had passed. That shingle doesn’t stand a chance!” Anon explained.
Seeing the new level of horror on the girl’s faces. Anon shrugged it off as he prepared the megaspell.
“I’d start running if I were you girls. This thing has an hour on the timer but you can’t be too careful” Anon suggested.
“Twilight exe has rebooted” the invisible voice spoke again.
“THERE ARE EIGHT OF YOU!!!???” Twilight yelled, finally snapping out of her buffering.
“Yes we established that earlier. Get with the program Twiggles” Hippanon stated.
“How!? Why!? Why in Celestia’s name would you build that thing!?” She yelled, having a full on panic attack from all the questions.
“Well it was for ageing our cheese properly but now we’re using it for this” Griffanon explained.
“I’m sorry your WHAT?” She asked.
“Our cheese, it’s an old Anon family recipe. My abuela taught me. But it takes seventy years to mature and who’s got that time am I right?” Anon explained.
“Couldn’t you just use a spell normally?” Applejack asked.
“I tried but I passed out before we got to three years. Building WMDs to do it just seemed easier” Unianon explained.
“Anon…s” Twilight stated firmly.
“Yes?” They asked in unison.
“I’m warning you now. Do not set off a bomb on Equestrian soil, or else” Twilight warned.
“Or else what? Twiggles we all love you but come on. We’ve gotten away with worse even when we were all a glint in Anon’s sunglasses” Griffanon argued.
“If you do, I'll tell Cream Heart you made a weapon of mass destruction and she may get mad” Fluttershy threatened softly.
That made all eight Anons freeze for a minute.
“You- you wouldn't” Changeanon stuttered slightly. Calling her bluff.
“I would,” Flutters stated calmly.
“She would” Rainbow confirmed.
Gathering in a circle for a second the Anons debated their options.
“Have that loose shingle, or deal with an angry Cream Heart. Shingle, Cream Heart, shingle, Cream Heart” Anon said, using his front hooves like scales to weigh their options.
“Well I’m going with the shingle” Zebanon stated.
“Agreed no competition” Hippanon agreed.
“Ok we’ll take the megaspell back” Anon relented.
“Good, now… what’s that ticking noise?” Twilight began before trailing off.
The fourteen quadrupeds listened closely for the source of the ticking.
Clicking into it. Anon pressed his ear against the megaspell.
The ticking was coming frkm it.
“FUCK ITS ACTIVE!” Anon panicked.
“TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFF!” Fluttershy screamed.
“YOU CAN'T! WHO BUILDS A BOMB WITH AN OFF ON SWITCH!”
“FLY AWAY!” Twilight called out.
Twilight grabbed Rarity while Rainbow got Pinkie and Fluttershy got Applejack. The girls shot through the sky towards Ponyvillie leaving the bomb behind.
The Anons did the same, with Anon grabbing Zebanon, Peganon getting Unianon and Griffanon carrying Ponanon.
Rushing through the air as fast as they could. The Anons could hear the ticking getting further and further away.
As the seconds flew past the ticking of the megaspell and the whistling of the wind rushing past them died out. Drowned by a new thunderous sound.
With a flash of green light, shining like the sun behind them, the megaspell went off.
While our protagonists escaped the blast zone. All of Ponyville could see the results.
The large fields of grass that separated the town from the southern Everfree rapidly aged. The grass grew and died and grew again in seconds, trees sprouted from the unkept ground and grew a hundred of feet tall.
It was as if a hundred years had passed.
When the green glow of the megaspell faded, Anon flew over the blast zone.
Finding his house, the building looked on the brink of collapse. Time had ravaged it more than any storm. The brickwork was beginning to crumble, the wood having rotted away. Being at the heart of the spell seems to have aged it at twice the rate as its surroundings.
“The fucking shingle still isn’t staying straight!” Anon cried out in rage.
AN: Told you Anon would trigger Fallout Equestria.
Celly and Lulu will be very pissed.
But hey, the Anons have abuela’s cheese so they’ve got no regrets.
Please join me for the next chapter of Thestral Anon, when he finally gets around to dealing with the plague of goth mares harassing his subjects