“I feel a disturbance in the wind.”
I put down Nameless from her soap mouth punishment, leaving her at the mercy of the scientific Twilight Sparkle. Who is now determining the most effective way to clean a dirty mouth, soap or sanitizer.
Yet this is more important, I can feel it. I can taste it. This isn’t just any normal pressure. It’s a pressure I’ve never felt before. At least I don’t think I have. The magic absorption is going off the charts. I am the energy now.
Wait, this energy isn’t random. It’s controlled, a controlled random.
Oh god…
No…
It’s…
PINK
I pinched open the door to the bathroom only to find a swirl of pink rapidly fixing decorations to various pins, already placed hooks, and a cannon shooting all the extra confetti, streamers and lettered balloons. The balloons read out Welcome to Ponyville. How did she know? When did she know? WHAT IS THE POWER OF THIS HORSE?!
“Hi Nonny! You think you can keep the new pony in the bathroom just a little bit longer! I’m almost done!” Pinkie stops in place to dig out cake from her mane…and it somehow has zero hair on it. What.
“Pinkie, can you…?” She was too fast for me to track, just how energetic is this horse. I decided to continue. “Can you tell me how you’re moving so fast?”
“Easy! I had three cupcakes!”
“That’s reasonable…” What were in those cupcakes? Crack?
“Almost done Nonny!” She was still rolling around at the speed of sound. Wait that doesn’t sound correct, if she broke the sound barrier she would’ve destroyed the library. So she’s just moving very fast.
“Bleh! Twilight enough I already said—hey why is there a pink tornado in the library?” Nameless was not having a good day, she already was having her mouth washed with soap and sanitizer, so it was already full of foam. She had a hiccup and it formed a bubble from her throat. That can’t be healthy.
“Done!” Pinkie was standing in the middle of the room. Decorations of all colors of the rainbow was around, balloons were tied to the table, and the table in the center was full of sweets, with candy apples, cupcakes, and a large cake that emerged from Pinkie’s hair.
“Woah…” Nameless was oddly giddy, I m I couldn’t help but wonder something. How the fuck does she know? I know from my first day she had a ‘twitchy twitch’ somewhere, but for the life of me I can’t tell if she has some sort of magic sensing, or she can see the future!
Magic is stupid. I should stop asking questions.
“Now we wait! I sent every pony an invite!” She looked at her fore hoof, pulling away her pink fur to reveal a watch. “One…two…three…NOW!” She let’s her fur go back to normal over her hoof, and with a point towards the door. Ponies began to enter the library. When did they have time to do this?
“Nameless…” I look down at my clone, only to find she somehow vanished.
“FUCK YEAH, CUPCAKES!” nameless was already running towards the cupcakes.
“Nameless! Language!” Twilight yelled, she was wearing her goggles. I guess she was actually doing some science with Nameless.
“Ooooo~ your name is nameless?” Pinkie crouched down to the small filly. Nameless was trying to reach for a cupcake but the table was too high for her to properly reach.
“Yeah! Nameless Anon!” She was able to swipe a cupcake down getting the cake to balance on top of her head.
“Oh! Hey! It’s a small Nonny! I’ll just call you Anon-Filly! We have Nonny, and Anon-Filly!” Does…she know? I’m scared of her knowledge, but at the same time, curious.
“Yeah. Yeah. Whatever helps you.” Namless sits down and holds the cupcake, eating the sweets. Her tail was gently wagging as she filled her mouth. “Holy shit…how the fuck does this?” She was mumbling to herself, probably enamored by the food. In response, I reached a hoof over and closed her mouth. It’s rude to talk while your mouth is full.
Pinkie decided to catch up with Twilight for a little bit. Guess that leaves me to guard over Nameless. I wonder how I should get her to acclimate better. School will do, get her around kids her own age, hopefully don’t turn the child population into potty mouths, and siphon some history lessons from her. I think the local teacher is also the principal of her own school. I have zero clue on the education structure in this world, but talking to the teacher should get me started.
I think her name was Cheerily? Cheerfully? Oh, it’s Cheerilee. Man pony names are strange. I guess it’s no stranger than my own name. I walk through the crowd, if she’s not here then I can head to the school after this cool party. Oh, hey a punch bowl! I’ll do it after the party, I can think hard later.
It was a mildly successful party, caught up with Rarity, and that’s it! Man I need more friends. The cutie mark crusaders didn’t even want to talk to me either! I was their babysitter…once…god, I sound creepy. However, Nameless now has some new friends. It turns out she’s considered a ‘Tomcolt’ by some snooty bitch and hit it off with some colt named Rumble and Scootaloo. Does little Nameless attract pegasi like I attract royalty? Though, getting to know Thunderlane by proxy of Nameless was neat, he gave me a written schedule of the weather! How kind of him.
Though now, it’s me and Nameless in front of the local school. A decently large red building is before me. It’s tall, not exactly wide or very long. I didn’t have any plans for this. So I decided to knock on the front door. Why is this door one large oak door? Every other building has two sections for the doors almost like a horse’s stable. It’s best not question it right now.
I heard someone yell from the other side. “Come in!” I lit up my horn to grab the doorknob.
“Why am I here again?” Nameless jabbed my side as I was about to open the door, cutting off my magic.
“To get your dumbass learning.” I sighed as I light up my horn again.
“Why? I don’t have to go to school.”
“You need something to do during the day.”
“You don’t have a job!”
“Don’t worry about it.”
I finally get to open the door, leading Namless through no hallway. The school is a single room with thatched floor and cubbies, some desks in the center. So at least they have furniture. You know, this school feels homely, almost as if it’s made for this small town.
“Oh! You must be Anonymous and Nameless. I got Pinkie’s invite for your Welcome to Ponyville, but I had student’s papers to grade.” Cheerilee is sitting behind a desk, a large stack of parchment next to her. Of course, the overworked underpaid teacher stereotype. Does she get paid? Fuck if I know.
“Yeah. It’s alright. I’m just here to sign little Nameless here for school.” Nameless was wandering around, looking at stuff, spinning the globe, poking her head in the cubbies, sitting at the desk. Usual mindless kid stuff.
“Well, we can do that. Do you have proof of her citizenship?” Cheerilee looked at me with a sweet smile. Wait…citizenship for Nameless.
“…Fuck.”
“Okay. Why are we at the Townhall?” I’ve set up a meeting with Mayor Mare, she’s in today at least. I think most adults didn’t want to go to a child’s Welcome to Ponyville party.
“Technically, we’re both refugees. I haven’t gotten an official citizenship from Ponyville’s local government. So I have to get this for me and you.”
“Don’t you get a stipend from the queen or whatever?”
“Princess, and yeah.”
“…so why are we here?!”
“To get you into school!”
“I don’t want to go!”
“You have too! I’m 90% sure it’s illegal to hold you back from school.”
“Then look if it’s legal then let me stay home.”
“Nope.”
“Fuck you!” She held a hoof out in an attempt to give me the finger. However, HOOVES.
“Nameless, we are in public. Keep your mouth clean or I’ll let Twilight do more experiments.” I lean in to her, putting my face to her’s.
“…point taken…” at least that shut Nameless up.
I pull my head back. This was a long day. We were already sitting here for about thirty minutes.
“Mayor Mare can see you now.” The secretary’s dry and monotone voice was a little taste of salvation. I wonder if it’ll last.
“Thank you. C’mon Nameless.” I stood up, motioning Nameless to stay close, and with a nod she began to follow. With our trip to the office we were able to meet face to face with the local elected government.
“Hello.” There she is, the mayor of this town. Wonderful gray hair, tan coat, and an ascot.
“Hey. I’m here to inquire about getting local citizenship.”
“Oh that should be no problem!” She pulled out some papers from her desk, probably something to put through the system. “Just one question, since you’re not born here, where were you from?”
Better go with Twilight’s assumptions. Would make my life easier. “The County of Longsword.”
“Wait..you mean from Griffonia?”
“Yes.” What is a Griffonia?
“I…I am so sorry you had to go through that.” Her voice reeks of sorrow and depressed rage. What the hell happened in Longsword?
“It’s okay. At least I got my sister.” Just have to pretend I have hope. It’ll get my sob story through faster.
“Y-Yeah. He has me!” Nameless plays along real quick too, at least we got the whole sadness apart down. Though her acting could use work.
“Well. Unfortunately. I cannot help you.” Mayor Mare slides her papers back into a drawer from her desk.
“Wha-“
“If you want to get official citizen ship. You’ll have to go through Canterlot’s Refugee Assylum to get your citizenship”
“Why can’t you do it here?”
“We don’t have the capability of putting you as a registered citizen in Ponyville without Canterlot’s help. Due to our small population, central location, and Canterlot being our neighbor, we hardly get refugees to come here. I apologize for this incident, but I will help you as soon as I get the information from Canterlot.”
“…Fuck.”
So we’re on a train! Heading to Canterlot. God I hate it. Six hours of doing fuck all! Me and nameless are sitting next to each other, our eyes are growing tired from sitting here doing nothing. Our arms are crossed as we stare out the window.
“Hey. Why am I here?” Namless turned to face me, she looks so tired.
“I need proof you exist.”
“But…you know what never mind. Just one question.”
“Shoot.”
“If you can teleport, why can’t you just head straight to Canterlot?”
“Good question, I could, but I’ve only been there once, I need to have a decent idea of the location, and a good picture in my head before I teleport.”
“Great…” Her ears fall flat on her head as she rests her head on the side of the train.
“Don’t worry. Once we’re done there. We can teleport back home. Easy peezy.”
“Fine fine.” Namless gets tired of having her head slightly bump from the train movement and decided to rest her head on me. This is nice. Moments like these make me miss home.
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOUR FULL?!” I had enough, I’m already wasting my day dragging Nameless around, but I’m stuck finding out that the fucking Refugee Asylum is full and already has loads of paperwork filing to do. Bullshit!
“Sir. If you could calm down. We are working as fast as we can.” The guard stationed in front of the local Canterlot Refugee Asylum, was standing there with his spear and clipboard. I guess he also doubles as a secretary. How neat.
“You know what. It’s fine. It’s okay. It’s a-ok.” Tranquil rage builds over me.
“Sir…” Why do I sense fear in his voice? Is he not used the power of relaxing?
“Dude. You okay?” Nameless jabs me in the side again, immediate relief of my stress. Huh, who knew violence could help.
“Thanks Namless. I needed that…” I exhale loudly, looking up at the sky. The moon was out. Was it that late already, to be fair a six hour train ride is quite bullshit. Wait a second, if I remember correctly Luna should have night court open, but since I am not going to deal with bureaucracy today. I’m getting this nation’s managers!
“Uh…dude I don’t like the sound of that.”
Using my magic I place Nameless on my back and sprint up the mountain. I remember the path to the castle at least. Thanks to funny man with blue eyes. A turn here, the cyan house, and a quick left here. There it is! I see the Royal Palace in sight, the drawbridge down, the guards on stand by, and there’s no line! Let’s do this!
“Dear sister. That was three petitioners who are asking for more land. Why do they think they’ll let me give them land that isn’t theirs?” Luna was there on her throne, Celestia was standing beside her. It seems Night Court is handled by Luna. I wonder why Celestia is there.
Celestia sighed, knowing the answer all too well. “Well, since you’ve returned, they think you’ll be a bit more lenient due to your thousand years of absence.”
“Oh! So they disrespect the crown! We will not have this go unpunished!” She tapped into the Royal We at the end.
I was huffing and puffing, I made it to the throne room. Nameless was holding on tight to my neck for dear life, she almost choked me on a few turns but nothing I couldn’t handle. It seems Celestia noticed me while Luna was looking directly at her.
“Luna. Look, another partition…Anonymous. It’s wonderful to see you.” Celestia nudged her sister’s side. Taking a step back to observe I assume.
“Welcome, Sir Anonymous! Pray—“ She bit her tongue, trying to stay away from her usual archaic words. “What has brought you here today?”
“Yeah. I’m here to inquire about citizenship.”
“Anonymous. I thought th—grr.” She paused yet again. “I thought you already had citizenship.”
“Well. It’s not for me this time.” Luna looked at me strangely, I thought she…wait. I turned my head to kinda see behind me, turns out little Nameless blends into my back really well when she’s holding on tight into me. That’s cute. Using my magic I pry her off.
“Yo yo! I was stuck trying to not die! Again! This stallion is mad! Arrest him princesses.” She points at me.
“Oh clam down. I just had to get here quickly.” I pat Nameless on the head. She just pouts angrily at me.
“This is Nameless Anon. My sister.”
“Oh. She is adorable Anonymous.” Luna smiles, attempting a compliment her sister does a lot.
“Thank you?” Nameless had no idea how to feel. One, she knows she’s adorable. Two, unfortunately she’s stuck trying to figure out how the fuck Luna’s works.
“Yeah. Since we are refugees. We need some special requirements to get citizenship in this country. The Refugee Asylum is full of already being processed Refugees, no idea from where, but they’re here.”
“The Refugees are from Stalliongrad, our nearby neighbor. There should only be about 100 ponies within. Once they’re processed we’ll put you and Nameless into the system.”
“Yeah. We kinda need that quickly.” Use the sob story Anonynous. “We’re from Longsword.”
That caused Luna and Celestia to freeze up. Then I felt a surge of magic course through both of them, this magic feels angry. A tranquil rage.
“It seems Longsword really has gone through with their acts, sister.” Luna turned to Celestia. I can feel the seething rage on their voice.
“It seems they have.” Celestia, a paragon of virtues and love, the smallest hint of anger scares me. It’s like seeing your mom yell at a stranger.
“Tell me, Anonymous. When did Nameless get into your grasp?” Luna, please relax. I thought my rage was scary.
“About yesterday…”
“Dusktalon…” Celestia laments. “Even to children you went through.” She leans in and whispers something into Luna’s ear.
“I apologize sir Anonymous. Me and Celestia have to close night court for the time being. We shall grant you and your sister full citizenship in the morning, please as an extension of the crown, we offer you a night in one of our spare bedchambers.” I watched them leave the throne room. I guess it’s as a good as any to head towards the bedroom.
“Bitchin’ we get to sleep in a castle.”
“Yeah…yeah.” What the fuck happened in Longsword? I need a map. I need to take a look for myself…