The tossing and turning of the picture indicated that a video camera was currently being held in a haphazard fashion. The video tossed and turned upside down, before correctly settling on the scenery. It was a nice day, not a single cloud remained in the sky. But for most of the viewers of this show, no one gave a shit about the weather. The video zoomed in on Princess Celestia's castle, and the large gate that pointed towards the dwelling of the princesses. The guards were not aware of the fact that they were being filmed, and the obvious victim of the prank would be the colt who slowly walked into the frame from the left side. The two guards nearby the gate remained completely still, their eyes staring straight ahead.
The colt looked to be an earth pony college student. Obviously, considering that was most of the videos Daniel usually found for his show. The colt's peach coat and yellow mane were pretty much forgettable, considering he was going to be known as the “Colt Who Is Now On Tosh.0.”
He moved up to the guards and started to wave his hoof in front of the left guard. The owner of the camera giggled a little bit, while the peach colt continued to bug both of the guards. He waved his hooves in front of the guards, poked and prodded the guards in their chests, and made out of place faces that weren't able to be seen by the camera. From this angle, the colt had his back to the camera. That is, until he turned around and placed his head on the ground, his ass sticking straight up in the air. The left guard looked at the plot that was now presented towards him, and it was a swift move that created a large amount of laughing from the studio audience. Almost like lightning, the guard's hoof slammed between the college colt's legs before retreating back into its position.
The now injured colt let out a yell of pain as he thrashed around on the floor like a foal with a temper tantrum while the video camera holder was unable to keep the picture steady due to his laughing. The opening title sequence for Tosh.0 started to play, as Daniel Tosh pointed his hooves at the audience while he stood in the usual spot for his show. “Alright alright, settle down.” He said, as he covered his mouth with his hoof to let out a few more laughs from the previous video that was shown. “Well then, I'll take some blue balls with my cream.” He added.
“Welcome to Tosh.0, I've missed a whole lot of you. As you all know, I was up in Canterlot, doing blow with nearly every hooker that Photo Finish managed to dress up. Trust me, it's better when they have their dresses on.”
“Tonight on the show we have a mare who doesn't know what a sex book is, another mare who has a disability I can make fun of, and we give the Fus Ro Yay girl a Web Redemption. But first, let's see that video again.”
Another replay of the video was shown, the last ten seconds where the colt was swiftly kicked in the balls. Tosh looked back to the camera. “And I thought the guards back in Trottingham were douches. You see their hats? If our (beep)s weren't out for everyone to see, I would half think that they were compensating for something... with an extremely gay and fuzzy hat.”
The audience laughed and Tosh smiled before another video was shown. “This next video shows that this mare really needs to get the birds and bees talk from her parents. Better late then never.”
The video started to play. It looked to be recorded by a cell phone, since the slider on the bottom was already a fourth of the way through the video, and it showed Twilight Sparkle looking up at the camera. There was a book in front of her, opened and on her regular table in her house that read, “101 Ways To Please That Colt”
The unicorn opened the book around halfway and the owner of the camera was starting to snicker. Twilight looked over to Rainbow Dash and she frowned. “So this is what we are going to be doing Rainbow? What is a... Cloudsdale Comet?” She asked.
The audience started to bust up laughing as the clueless mare flipped through a few more pages. Rainbow's snickers got a little louder, and she turned the book to another page and told Twilight to read it. The mare's purple eyes scanned the pages before she pointed at the obvious (but blurred) diagram of a colt penetrating a mare. Considering the whole page was being blurred out, there was not much left to the imagination.
Tosh moved his eyes from the television screen to the camera, as he was obviously reading off of a teleprompter. “Last time I saw a mare as clueless about sex as this was when I made Scootaloo cluck like a chicken.” He said.
The crowd let out a collective “Aww” and Tosh's smile became a little wider before he looked back to the screen. “You act like I never (beep)ed a chicken before. There isn't any evidence. Well let's put twenty seconds on the clock and see what we can make of this video.”
The crowd's disdain turned into a cheer as the stopwatch appeared in the bottom of the screen. As soon as it started and the last twenty seconds were played, Tosh began his rapid fire of jokes. It was conveniently right where the blurred out frame was shown.
“Does he have a second unicorn horn? Why am I dizzy right now? Your rainbow mane doesn't really help the whole platonic thing. I can't do a (beep) job, I already work at the library! Is there a number for (beep) in the Dewey Decibel System? I wonder if the stork will tell me how to (beep).”
The timer ran out and Tosh imitated a slight annoyance at running out of time, before the television switched to another video. "This next video reminds me that sometimes, we need a filly left behind."
He looked over to the screen as the video started to play.
It was currently raining on this video, as the water beat down on the pavement. The sun was barely able to shine its rays down on Ponyville, as one of the controllers of the weather was bouncing up and down on a cumulonimbus cloud. The rain was quickly emptying out of the cloud due to the pegasus' bouncing, and those who repetitively watched the show would be able to realize that this was Ditzy Doo, one of the many mares who always had a nice video to provide Tosh.
The mare was smiling, her eyes staring off into two directions of space as she moved up and down. She stopped for a moment, and looked down at the cloud before jumping and landing on the cloud one more time. The cloud ejected a large amount of electricity, a thunderbolt moving through the pegasus' body. She fell off of the cloud and onto the ground, and whoever owned the camera gasped and started to run to the fallen pegasus. However right when the camera owner was about to help Ditzy, the thundercloud ejected one more lightning bolt that hit the owner, and the camera.
The crowd gasped while Daniel kept that signature smile on his face. “Don't worry, they are all okay. I wonder if the lightning fixed her eyes. Kind of like a chemotherapy deal. Your heart stops, but hey, you can see again. Let's see how common sense was not used in this week's breakdown.”
The crowd cheered as the title sequence for the breakdown appeared, and he smiled as the beginning of the video was shown. “Oh great, a rainy day. If terrible fan fiction has taught me anything, it's that a rainy day means something bad.” He said. Then Ditzy on the cloud was shown. “Oh great, let's bounce on something that can emit body altering bolts of lightning.”
The crowd let out another “Aww” and Daniel continued after they were done. The video was slowed as Derpy's face slowly changed from happiness to horror as the lightning traveled up her legs. “See right here,” he paused the video, “Is the part where you think 'sh(beep), probably should just stay inside like every other person with a brain'.”
The video continued, as the lightning traveled up Ditzy and she fell onto the ground. Considering the camera was being levitated by the owner's magic, Daniel noticed this and decided to make a comment. “Stupid senses tingling. Let's not levitate the hurt one over to me, and instead walk straight below a thundercloud. This could only end well.” He said. The lightning struck the camera owner again and Tosh laughed a few times. “Oh mares are so retarded. No offense to her, whoever the retard was. Alright we are going to take a quick commercial break, but we will be right back with 'Fleur De Lis Does... Every Thing'.”
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The camera panned out, showing off the green screen that Daniel was using before the commercial break began, as the sponsors of the show started to roll for a few minutes. As the opener for the show began, he smiled as he looked at the camera. “And we are back. As you may have all known, the mare known as Fluttershy became viral with one of her videos. It's simple, but the combination of a sound from a game that sweaty nerds play while I (beep) their moms in the next room,” there was a laugh from the crowd before he continued. “And her own little input created an adorable video. Fillies and Gentlecolts, Fus Ro Yay.”
The video portrayed a yellow pegasus being lectured by her light blue friend, who sounded like the mare from the second video. She was being lectured over how to cheer properly, and apparently her lack of energy was affecting her cheering. However at the end, the extreme yell copied from a game made the crowd laugh as the blue pegasus fell onto her back. Tosh continued as the camera panned back to him. “As you can see, Fluttershy didn't provide the cheer that she needed to. So I brought her down to Los Pegasus for this week's Web Redemption.”
The crowd cheered as the transition for the Web Redemption was shown, and the video started to play. Tosh met Fluttershy outside of his studio, and he smiled as he shook the shy mare's hoof. “Fluttershy it is nice to meet you.” Tosh said, as he noted the fact that his guest was extremely shy. It only made sense, the characteristic was in her name for Celestia's sake.
The pegasus nodded her head and looked towards the entrance to Tosh's studio, as she looked down at the dress she was wearing, which was obviously not made by her. She looked to be dressed appropriately, which was good compared to the many idiots that Tosh had to interview. The two moved into the studio and sat down in an empty room, which resembled a high school gym. Tosh got comfortable before he asked his first question. “Alright so tell me how this video was made.”
“Well... what happened was my friend wanted me to cheer for her because she was going to compete in a competition. She said that if I didn't cheer enough, that she wouldn't be able to win.”
“You understand that your friend sounds like a humongous bitch, right?” Tosh asked.
Fluttershy turned red at such a response, and she continued without answering his question, “So I tried cheering with her, because I wanted to show her that I was capable of doing it. My friend Pinkie Pie was filming my attempts. We were going to watch it later to see what I did wrong. So I took the film and just put in a little sound effect from a game that a friend of mine, Princess Luna was playing. It's funny, that video always reminds me of her, because she has a hard trouble with not shouting.”
Tosh wrote down a few questions, and he let one of them loose, “So what you are saying is that you have a friend who is essentially good at crippling other ponies by f(beep)ing up their eardrums? Sounds like she is just as annoying as sea ponies.”
Fluttershy turned even more red at this accusation and she ignored that question as well. “But I wasn't able to cheer loud enough at her competition, and I want to prove that I can do it.”
Tosh nodded his head, and then looked to the camera. “Turn this shy mare into Filly Mayes. Got it.” He said as the camera transitioned to a montage of Tosh training Fluttershy.
The two of them were training in the most unorthodox ways, from lifting eggs to getting extremely sensitive massages. The montage stopped and played a video clip of Tosh's yelling lesson with Fluttershy with a few minutes left in the episode.
Both were standing out in a field, Tosh with a large amount of aggressive looking outfits while Fluttershy had a headband around her head and a track uniform. Tosh dressed up as a dragon, and he moved towards Fluttershy. “Alrighty yell at me!” He said, while Fluttershy tried to avoid cowering in the face of the fake monster. She retreated a few steps, but ended up standing her ground.
“Alright good,” Tosh said, “Now I wanna hear those lungs! I want you to be as loud as Mayor Mare, make me wish that a representative republic didn't exist!”
“A sonic rainboom. Woo hoo.” Fluttershy said, as she gasped for air after such an exertion.
Tosh sighed and shook his head. “Alright come on. I want to hear you outdo Trixie! Be louder than Hoity Toity when he sees something that looks extremely gay and artsy!”
Fluttershy took another deep breath and then managed to yell out, “A SONIC RAINBOOM! WOO!”
Tosh took a few steps back, even though he heard much louder from his audience as they all clapped for Fluttershy's accomplishment. He smiled and took a step towards her. “I think we can call this a day Mrs. Hulk.” He responded, before the montage ended.
Tosh smiled as the crowd started to applaud him, and the image of Fluttershy yelling remained on the monitor. “I could have just trained her by kicking her in the c(beep).” He said and his grin widened as the clip of the yelling colt from his balls being kicked was shown. “Make sure to check us out on Tweeter and Ponybook. Go online to the store and you can buy Tosh swag. I will see you all next week."
The audience laughed before Tosh gave the camera a small wave and the show ended. The audience gave Tosh a standing ovation while the theme song played in the background. Large amounts of hooves were stomping on the ground as the show finally closed to an end.