I Am Anonymous

by IWasAnonymous

The COBA (Commissioned Officers' Battlefield Assessment) PART 1

- The Commissioned Officers Battlefield Assessment definition.

It's been one month since Anon came back from his deployment. He had gone back to his routine, even with Celestia's true feelings for him on his mind. During the past month, he considered how to move forward with Celestia. Sometimes, Anon refused to see her so he could think coherently without any interference. The more and more he thought, the more he began to consider a potential relationship with Celestia. He takes some additional advice from Princess Cadance and continues to spend more time with Celestia. One of the things they do alone is take walks at night on the castle's many walls, bridges, and terraces. Sometimes, they'd stand silently and look at the stars. Each time, Anon would hold Celestia's hoof to reassure her that he still cared about her. During this time, Anon began to accept kisses on the cheek from Celestia.
As time passed, Anon came closer to deciding how to feel about Celestia. However, life had other plans in store. Everything came to a halt when Anon was sitting in his office.
He is reading a report about an arrest that happened two days ago. A noble had been arrested for bribing a landlord to increase his tenants' rates in Sector 6 so they'd be forced to leave Canterlot. Anon signs his name at the bottom to signify that the report is accepted and is being sent up the chain of command. Finally, all his paperwork for the day is done, so Anon leans back in his chair. He picks up Daring Do and the Al-Kaaba Compass and starts reading where he left off. He doesn't get very far when someone knocks on his door. Anon groans as he takes his feet off his desk.
"Come in," Anon groans.
Sergeant Major Silk Web opens the door with an envelope in her mouth. She walks in and sets it on his desk.
"A letter from upstairs," she says.
"From Princess Celestia or Luna?" Anon asks.
"No, sir. It's from General Spear Shaft."
Anon raises an eyebrow out of interest. He opens the envelope and begins reading. Silk Web sees Anon's face become increasingly serious as he reads. Finally, he sets it down and walks over to his small bookshelf. Anon pulls out a large leather book off the middle shelf.
"Well, what did the General have to say?" Silk Web asks.
"I've been selected to participate in the COBA this year," Anon responds flatly.
"Really? That's a big honor."
"Yeah, I guess so."
Anon sits back down, but his face looks concerned as he reads the book. He sighs heavily when he turns to the chapter titled "Formations." He takes notes on a sheet of lined notebook paper.
Sergeant Web can automatically tell something is wrong. To get Anon's attention, she clears her throat.
"Yes?" Anon asks as he looks up with an annoyed expression.
"I'm just concerned, sir. I haven't seen you like this in a long time," Silk Web says.
"I'm nervous about the COBA. I think you know that the nobles use the event to get rid of COs, who aren't their children, to advance the kids' careers. Sure, the Generals of the EAF choose us, but it's only at the recommendation of the nobles."
"Is it right to assume you want to break the status quo, but there are other mitigating issues."
"I've been doing that since I enlisted in the Royal Guard, but the odds are stacked against me this time."
"How long do you have before the opening ceremony?"
"Two-and-half months. I'll have to tell the 25th about this. Not only will I need to prepare, they will, too."
"What will you need me to do during that time?"
"Put any letters sent to me in my office. I'll pick them up after the guard changes. Send anyone to the training grounds if someone comes to see me."
"Yes, sir. Need anything else?"
"Nope. That'll be all, Sergeant Major."
Silk Web leaves Anon's office and closes the door. He sighs heavily as he continues reading. He spends most of the afternoon in his office. He doesn't take any visitors or leave for anything except for changing the guard at the end of the day. Eventually, Princess Celestia has to get him so he can eat.
At first, when she knocks, Anon tells her to leave, not realizing who it is. This time, Celestia opens the door without knocking. Anon sits up with a glare on his face. When he finally sees Celestia, he starts to shout an insult.
"You were saying?" Celestia teases.
"Oh, I... uh... nothing. What are you doing here?" Anon says.
"You've been in your office for hours, and it's almost eight o'clock, and you haven't eaten anything."
"I must've lost track of time."
Anon yawns as he stands up. He puts on his helmet and walks out of his office. He is primarily silent the entire walk to the Royal Dining Hall, with an occasional yawn or growl breaking his silence. When they arrive, Anon stops and looks down at his feet. Celestia looks at him, confused.
"I'm too fucking tired to eat, Tia," he sighs.
"You need to eat something," Celestia pleaded.
"I can barely walk, and not to mention I've been up since 4 a.m. The only thing I need right now is sleep."
Celestia knows better than to try to reason with a tired Anon because he's ten times more stubborn than usual when he's that way. With a shake of her head, Celestia ignites her horn. There is a flash of yellow magic, and the two are instantly gone. They appear in front of the Officer's Barracks in the same manner they left, except that Anon is slightly doubled over and is holding his stomach. Celestia also notices that he looks a little greener than usual.
"Are you okay?" she asks.
"No. Next time... urk... warn me before you teleport me. I get... ugh... sick. Ask Twilight about the first... oh fuck... she teleported me."
"I don't think I want to know about that."
"That's... fucking shit... understandable."
They stand there for a moment in awkward silence. Celestia doesn't want to embarrass Anon before any officers or Lunar Guards are watching, so she refrains from any displays of affection. All she does is wish him a good night and flies away. Anon goes back to his room. Of course, Comet Flash, Astral Storm, and Thunder Hooves are in an intense blackjack game. They aren't gambling with bits but sour cream and onion potato chips this time. They offer to deal Anon into the game, but he turns them down primarily because he's too tired to gamble and outsmart the experienced gamblers.
Anon walks into his room and takes off all of his equipment. Then, he goes to take a shower. As the warm water falls on him, he thinks about the mound of information that he studied earlier that day. Most of the strategies that Anon planned strategy fit well with the 25th. He knows them better than anyone. However, one additional formation wasn't considered or taught on the 25th. That would be the phalanx. The COBA would be the perfect place to show it off. Then again, the battlefield needs to have the perfect conditions. Either way, Anon plans to teach his troops the phalanx formation tomorrow. Whether it will work or not will be determined by his troops.

It's the day before the COBA opening ceremony. Every soldier across the country is excited. The arena where the COBA was previously held was torn down and rebuilt to be much larger and relocated to Canterlot Mountain's base. A much smaller stadium for the ceremony was built, as well. Every officer who was selected is transported to the arena via train. Six 2nd Lieutenants, four 1st Lieutenants, and four Captains are from Canterlot. They weren't required to wear their armor until the opening ceremony. Anon wears a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. His armor, weapons, extra clothes, and sandals are in a duffle bag. His shield is lying on the duffle bag. Some books and writing materials are in his backpack. The train leaves for the arena in an hour. The Solar Guards train would arrive soon after. As usual, the Lunar Guards would leave last. There are three train cars, each with the Royal Guard emblem emblazoned on them. The one for the 2nd Lieutenants is last, the one for the 1st Lieutenants is second, and the car for the Captains is first.
Over the next 45 minutes, the other officers arrive at the train station. Anon sits next to a pillar closest to his assigned train car. He speaks to the other officers as they arrive. It is different to see them without their armor and weapons. However, most of the others haven't seen Anon in human clothes. They even poked and prodded at his tennis shoes since they had never seen shoes like those. However, the good conversations are ruined when 1st Lieutenant Golden Lance arrives. There is a smug grin on his face. Instead of either causal wear, he is wearing a full suit. All of his gear is in a leather suitcase.
"Who invited this fucker?" Velvet Yarn, a female earth pony, asks quietly.
"The COBA hasn't even started, and we are already screwed," Silver Lining, a male pegasus, grumbles.
Anon shakes his head. He knew that a demoralized officer would demoralize his unit. That being said, with Golden Lance, it isn't an easy task. He led the 7th Sunspot Battalion, the best Royal Guard battalion in Canterlot, and the whole branch. He is a skilled fighter and a brilliant tactician. He has beaten every other 1st Lieutenant in single combat or War Games. All of those victories and his nobility status make him extremely unbearable to be around. Anon rarely talked to him because even talking to him can turn into an uphill battle. However, that didn't stop the pompous unicorn from talking down to Anon.
"Well, if it isn't the Ape," Golden Lance sneers.
Anon doesn't say a word and ignores him.
"I've got to say I'm not surprised that your traitor captain isn't here. I am surprised that you are here, Ape."
In everyday situations, Anon would continue to ignore him, but remaining silent is out of the question now that Tempest is involved. Insulting an officer of equal rank is one thing, but insulting a commanding officer, especially one that Anon has become close to, is another. Anon decides to go for the throat.
"I'm surprised you didn't show up with your mommy to kiss you goodbye. Did she finally say you are a big stallion now and can walk to the station yourself?" Anon retorts, "Here's a gold star sticker for a big boy stallion for taking big boy stallion steps."
Anon reaches into his pocket, but instead of pulling out a sticker, he flips off Golden Lance. He mouths "fuck you" to add insult to Golden Lance's injured ego. Golden is now very furious. Most of the time, he never has to engage in a battle of wits with someone. He's about to shout another insult, but Anon beats him to the proverbial punch.
"Oh, don't stomp your little hoofsies, Golden. It's not nice to throw a temper tantrum," Anon says with a devilish grin.
"Mark my words, Ape, by the end of the week, you will regret even coming to Equestria," Golden Lance snarls.
"We'll see," Anon grumbles.
Golden Lance snorts as he turns around and sits on a nearby bench by himself. The other 1st Lieutenants talked for about another ten minutes before the conductor announced to start boarding. Anon grabs his gear and boards the train. He finds a seat at the back of the car. He puts his duffle bag and his shield in the overhead compartment. Anon lays down in the seat, using his backpack as a pillow, and closes his eyes to nap.
When the train starts moving, he falls asleep. However, the nap isn't long. It is interrupted when someone taps Anon on the leg. He opens his eyes slightly and notices a well-dressed male pegasus standing at his feet. It's not the conductor, but someone who worked on the train.
"Can I help you?" Anon asks groggily.
"I wanted to know if you'd like something to drink," the stallion explains.
"What do you have?"
"I have water, an assortment of teas, alcohol, and hot chocolate."
Anon sits up and looks at the car the stallion is pulling behind him. He rubs his chin as he decides on what to drink. Eventually, Anon decides on hot chocolate since he hasn't had any since before his enlistment. The stallion pours the drink into the cup and gives it to Anon. He thanks the stallion with a nod.
As the stallion turns to serve the next pony, Anon sips his drink. Unlike the store-bought powder that ends up tasting watered down, it's creamy and rich with flavor. Anon sighs happily as he leans back into his seat. Instead of falling asleep, he moves to the window to watch the descent down Canterlot Mountain.
After finishing his hot chocolate, Anon reads his tactics and formations books. He takes more notes and makes slight adjustments to his plans. He memorizes a lot of quotes from Art of War by Flash Magnus during the ride.
About halfway into the ride, the same stallion returned with a car with cheese and crackers. Since Anon is an omnivore, some cold cuts are served to him by a griffin. It doesn't surprise any other 1st Lieutenants that Golden Lance begins complaining about the food choices. It takes a well-respected Captain from the front car to shut him up. The Captain reminds us of his rank and place. Golden Lance sinks in his seat, pouting like the spoiled brat he is. For the rest of the trip, Golden Lance doesn't pull any more stunts and remains quiet. The glorious silence continues when the train pulls into the makeshift train station outside the arena. Anon notices the many greenish-gray canvas tents on both sides of the track. The conductor opens the door to the car as everyone stands up to stretch and grab their gear.
"Mares and gentlecolts, please remain until your commanding officer comes on board to give you further instructions," the conductor announces.
Everyone sits back down and waits for the officer to board the train. After a few moments, Anon sees the Captains disembarking and walking to a table on the platform. Then, a large unicorn stallion wearing Royal Guard armor boards the train.
"Alright, everypony, listen up. I'm Commander Iron Grate, the officer in charge of the COBA. I'm going only to say this once, so pay attention. You will disembark with all your gear and walk over to that desk. Sergeant Fanny Pack will give you an itinerary for this week. Then, a private will escort you to the designated tents for you and your battalions. Everypony, got that?"
"Sir, yes, sir!" the guards reply in unison.
"Good! You have one minute to get your gear and get off! Now, move it!"
Everyone grabs their gear, disembarks, and goes to the table. Anon is last in line since he has more stuff and sits in the back. It doesn't take long before it's his turn. He steps forward when Sergeant Fanny Pack, a female unicorn, motions for him to come.
"Please state your name, rank, and unit," she asks flatly.
"Anonymous. 1st Lieutenant. 25th Aurora Battalion," Anon answers.
Fanny Pack uses her magic to pick up her pen. She writes something down before handing Anon a couple of pieces of paper. Then, she waves over an eager-looking royal guard. Fanny Pack points out a location on a map on the table and orders him to take Anon there. The royal guard nods his head and starts walking. Anon begins following him. They walk for a short distance before the guard slows so that he can walk beside Anon.
"I'm Private Arrow Shaft, by the way, sir," Anon's escort introduces.
"I'm 1st Lieutenant Anonymous," Anon answers.
Anon looks down at his escort. Arrow Shaft appears to be no older than 18. His face is covered in freckles, which doesn't help his boyish appearance. What makes him stand out even more are his thick Coke bottle glasses. He looks familiar to someone Anon has met before, and his chiseled chin and pale-blue eyes are a telltale sign.
"Are you related to General Spear Shaft, by any chance?" Anon asks.
"Yes, sir. He's my grandfather," Arrow Shaft replies.
"Keeping military service in the family, I see."
"It's been a huge family tradition for the stallions for seven generations."
"That's impressive."
"Grandpop is the first one in our family to become a commissioned officer. His rank shows how hard he's worked to get where he is."
"I take it your family isn't of noble descent."
"No, sir, we aren't."
"I figured as much."
"Dad and Grandpop are coming to the COBA and rooting for you, sir. We know how it feels to be looked down on by those stuffy nobles."
"I appreciate it."
A few minutes later, Arrow Shaft and Anon arrive at a large group of tents. A wooden sign on the ground has "25th Aurora Battalion" and the Royal Guard emblem beneath it. Anon's tent is front and center. It's the same as the standard five-pony tent, but a single cot and a large table with two candles are inside. On the cot are the standard padding, fitted sheet, and blanket. All of which are blue. Anon sets his duffle bag, shield, and backpack beside the entrance.
"If you look at your itinerary, the orientation meeting is at 1400 hours at the main conference room to the arena, sir," Arrow Shaft says.
"Where's the conference room?"
"Go to the gate to the arena. Once you get in, take a right down the hallway and go six doors down. Then, take a left down another hallway to a staircase. Go to the third floor. The door across from the staircase is the conference room."
"Okay, thank you."
"You're welcome, sir. Anything else?"
"Do you know when the rest of the 25th will get here? I want to talk to them before tomorrow."
"They should all be here by 1600 hours like everypony else participating."
"Gotcha. Thanks for everything. When you see General Spear Shaft, tell him I appreciate his support."
"I'll tell him when I see him, sir."
Arrow Shaft turns around and leaves the tent to return to Sergeant Fanny Pack. Anon sits down at the table to read the itinerary.
At the orientation time slot, there is a little note underneath it. The note says that the dress code is casual. Anon sighs a little because he doesn't have to drag all of his armor out. Next, he looks at what's to come over the next few days.
The Solar Guards will go first at every event. Each event starts at 0900 hours. The Royal Guards go second, but all of their events start at 1300 hours but can start as late as 1500 hours. As expected, the Lunar Guards will go last. The earliest event for them starts at 2000 hours. The latest is at 2200 hours.
It makes sense why the Lunar Guards will go last and at night because evening and night combat is their specialty. However, there is an unspoken reason. No one will want to stay up that late to watch the Lunar Guards, except for the families whose relatives are in the branch. There is a blatant disregard for their service due to the racism towards the thestrals and disrespect towards Princess Luna due to her transformation to Nightmare Moon and rebellion. Anon doesn't understand why Celestia doesn't even try to do anything to change that. Every time he brings it up to her, she changes the subject. Despite all of this, Anon plans to attempt to give the Lunar Guards the respect they deserve.

Anon sits in the conference room with every other officer participating in the COBA. He's reading the Daring Do book he was reading a few days ago. In the part of the book, the titular explorer is speaking to the Equestrian version of the bedouins about the ancient temple where the Al-Kaaba Compass is rumored to be located. The book is getting interesting when the conference room door slams open, and Commander Iron Grate walks in with two Captains behind him. All of the participating officers stood at attention and saluted.
"As you were!" Iron Gate bellows.
Everyone sits down in their seats.
"Welcome everypony to the Orientation Meeting of the Commissioned Officer's Battlefield Assessment. You have been carefully selected to display your and your unit's strengths and capabilities on the battlefield. As you know, I am Commander Iron Grate, and Princess Celestia has selected me to coordinate the COBA this year. To my left is Captain Sunset Thunder, and to my right is Captain Twinkle Majesty. I selected these two to assist me this week."
Iron Grate talks about how the events work. He gives a very simplified explanation of each event. Iron Grate is trying to speed up the orientation. However, the explanations regarding the arena and the magic involved in the COBA are extensive.
After each match, magicians change the terrain to show that the officers and their troops can adapt to different situations and terrains. The arena is around 2 kilometers by 2 kilometers, so doing a terrain change spell for even the most powerful magic users will be difficult. Then, Iron Grate talks about the weapons used during the COBA. Each one is enchanted with an advanced and complicated "smart spell." The newest addition to the COBA is one rest day between event days so that the guards can get the rest they need to perform to the best of their abilities for the next event, and that fire magic is banned.
What the spell does is if a target is hit by the enchanted weapon three times, it teleports the target and everything on them to where a runic device is located. The spell reminds Anon of the Flying Raijin Jutsu from watching a popular anime from his childhood, Naruto: Shippuden, with a few noticeable differences. If the enchanted weapon contacts another weapon with the same enchantment, the spell will cancel out, and the teleporting effect will not work, almost like pushing two positive sides of a magnet together.
Iron Grate continues talking about how injuries obtained during each match will be treated at the end of each match. If you are "killed," you will be sent to the "Elminated" section, where any injuries will be treated. Lastly, he asked his audience if they had any questions. A few officers looked around the room to see if anyone would be annoying enough to ask a question. Even one of the Captains, a unicorn female, used her magic to pick up her pen so she could throw it at anyone who asked a question. Anon didn't blame her. A 1st Lieutenant from Neigh York sitting next to Anon starts to raise his hoof.
"Raise that hoof any higher, and I'll fucking kill you in your sleep," Anon threatens quietly.
The guard lowers his hoof as he gulps.
"No questions? Good. You may head back to your tents. Be at the arena for the opening ceremony rehearsal at 0800 hours," Commander Iron Grate says.
Everyone stands up and makes their way to their tents. When Anon gets to his tent, 2nd Lieutenant Red Sun stands before it. She salutes Anon as he approaches. He salutes her back and motions for her to follow him into the tent. Anon lies on his bed while Red Sun sits on the chair.
"How was the ride down here?" Anon asks.
"It was boring as Hell," she responds.
"Have you tried taking a nap on the train to pass the time?"
"Been there and done that, sir. No dice."
"Okay. How many of the 25th is here?"
"All are present and accounted for, sir."
Anon sits up with a confused expression.
"Everyone?"
"Yes, sir. The last one to arrive got here about ten minutes ago."
"Great. Please message the unicorn 2nd Lieutenants and unicorn NCOs that I want to speak with everyone later tonight. Say around 2000 hours."
"Yes, sir. Anything else?"
"Chow is at 1800 hours. I think they are doing like a buffet line or some shit. It's all Commander Iron Grate's idea."
"Oh, him. I never met him, but Captain Tempest Shadow says he isn't a stickler for procedure."
"I saw that today. He rushed through the events."
"That sounds like him. So, we'll see each other at 2000 hours, sir?
"Yep, I want everyone there."
"Yes, sir."
Red Sun leaves the tent as a red aura surrounds her horn. Then, Anon sits down at his desk. He continues to work on battle plans and reads on tactics. An hour before dinner, Anon calls a meeting with all his second lieutenants and N.C.Os. to discuss the adjustments. The meeting concludes just as some Royal Guard from Commander Iron Grate's brigade, the 9th Sunspot Brigade, sit up a buffet line.
A chef's salad, hay lasagna, and garlic bread are served for the ponies. Anon gets meat-lovers with the salad and bread. A griffin chef delivers it. Anon and the guards he is eating with notice something off with the chef. He seemed nervous and was sweaty. He didn't even speak to Anon. When the chef leaves, Red Sun calls for a medic who knows a spell that can detect chemicals and poisons in pretty much everything.
The medic, Corporal Gauze Bandage, casts a spell on Anon's food and everyone else's food. The tent is silent for a few moments until the medic cocks her eyebrow as she looks at her commander officers.
"Everything but the lasagna on 1st Lieutenant Anonymous's plate is clean," Corporal Bandage announces.
"What's in it?" Anon asks.
"Arsenic."
"That griffin bastard was trying to poison 1st Lieutenant Anonymous!" 2nd Lieutenant Denium Jacket explained.
"I don't think he was trying to. Chef George is one of Princess Celestia's chefs. Those guys are vetted extensively before they are hired. Besides, I know him. He cooks all the meals containing meat for me and the thestrals. I think he had been put up to this," Anon says.
"That makes sense as to why he seemed nervous. A true assassin wouldn't be sweating that much," Denium Jacket replied.
"1st Lieutenant Anonymous, I request permission to question that chef," Red Sun asks.
"Permission denied. You can take Corporal Bandage, Shooting Star, and Wooden Frame to report the poisoned food to Commander Grate. Take the food with you as proof," Anon ordered, "You can finish eating before you go."
"Yes, sir. Anything else?"
"Nope. That's it."
"I just hope we can find the pony who tried to kill you," 2nd Lieutenant Ocean Dawn says."
"With all due respect, ma'am, but you'd be wrong there," Gauze Bandage announces.
"Oh, how?"
"Well, there is arsenic in things we eat, like rice and mushrooms. In small amounts, it can improve our appearance and help cure anemia. For humans, I don't know how it could be used. Basically, in the right amounts, it won't make you sick. However, the amount in 1st Lieutenant Anonymous's lasagna is not enough to kill him, but enough to make him very sick. Taking in his size and weight, he would have had symptoms within an hour. To fully recover, it would take weeks."
"So, whoever tried poisoning him was trying to put him out of commission. Therefore, we would have to forfeit," Red Sun says.
"I will assume that a noblepony or ponies is behind this. Almost two-thirds of the COs here are from nobility," Anon adds.
"You should take this as a compliment, sir," Shooting Star announces.
"Elobrate?" Anon asks.
"This means that somepony believes that we threaten their child's success. We are that good to make a noblepony nervous."
"That may be true, but we can't get cocky. The guys we are going against were recommended and chosen for a good fucking reason."
"Yes, sir."
The officers finish up their meals and then head back to their tents. Shooting Star, Wood Frame, and Gauze Bandage report the poisoned food to Commander Grate.
Anon writes in his journal about the day's events. After that, he prepares his speech for the 25th. Anon spends the next half-hour going over what he wants to say. At first, he goes for a more powerful motivational speech. He changes his mind and decides on an honest, more straightforward approach. The last thing he wants to do is make his troops overconfident. Eventually, he finishes up and goes to where the 25th is waiting. Nearby are a few other officers from other branches and Princess Luna. Red Sun informs him that everyone is there. Anon nods once and sits down on a nearby boulder. He waits for everyone to quiet down before he starts speaking.
"Good evening, everyone. I just wanted to give you a pep talk before the COBA starts. I'm going to be honest with you when I say this. This is probably one of the most extensive tests of our career as Royal Guards. Some may know the nobles recommended us because they wanted us to look bad for being the underdogs. It's a sick way to help their kids advance their military careers. However, we have a good chance of getting some wins here. We've got the skill, heart, and support of other underdogs like ourselves. Many of these noblepony families think we aren't going to put up much of a fight despite our past achievements, but let's make it clear we aren't letting that happen. Let's show them that these next few days won't be a cakewalk. They'll have to take the victory from us if they want it. That goes for us as well. It will be good on good battles. We are going to give it all we got. If we go down, we go down swinging. Let's make a statement that we aren't just some underdogs. We are THE underdogs. Do you understand?"
"Sir, yes, sir!"
"Are you worthy of victory?!"
"Axios!"
"Are you worthy of the name 'underdogs'?!!"
"AXIOS!!"
"Good. Get some rest over the next few days. You will need it. I have faith in everyone here, and whatever the outcome, I'm honored to lead you into battle. You are dismissed."
Everyone stands up and returns to their tents. A lot of them thank Anon for the speech as they walk by. The last pony to approach him is Princess Luna. Instead of her royal regalia, she is wearing her royal armor.
Her armor is far different from the Lunar Guards. The armor is jet black with her cutie mark painted on the front of her breastplate. It isn't as bulky as Lunar Guard armor. Instead, it is sleeker and appears to be more aerodynamic. Her helmet is sleeker, as well. Underneath her is black synthetic leather that links the armor plates together. Luna's sword isn't much different from everyone else's, except the blade is longer, and the guard has pegasus wings.
"That was an excellent speech, friend Anonymous. It was very motivational," Luna says.
"Thank you, I appreciate it. Nice armor, by the way," Anon replies.
"Thank you. Father commissioned it for me when I became his age to take his place on the battlefield."
"I don't think I've seen you wear your armor since I've been here."
"I have not worn it in 1,500 years."
"1,500 years?! How is it not rusted out or at least tarnished?! Hell, the leather hasn't even rotted out!"
"My sister had it maintained during my banishment to the moon. I am very grateful that she cared for my equipment even during the darkest period of my life."
"You are lucky to have a family that loves you that much. Not all of us are that lucky."
"If only some of the population would have the same sentiments. I still fear that Nightmare Moon has caused permanent damage to my reputation."
"I wish I could help, but there's nothing much I can do. The nobles have a lot of influence on the people, and they hate me. Your sister can't tell them to respect you because that's authoritarian. Maybe something will come up that will help your public image and win the people over."
"Perhaps."
"Hey, it's been good seeing you, but I need to sleep. I've got a long day tomorrow."
"Likewise, friend Anonymous. My sister and I look forward to seeing your leadership on the battlefield."
"I'll do my best to give you two a show."
Anon turns around and returns to his tent for a good night's rest.

The opening ceremony of the Commissioned Officer's Battlefield Assessment has finally arrived. The stands are filled with ponies. The cheers remind Anon of a packed football (American football) stadium at the state championships. He and the rest of the Royal, Solar, and Lunar Guards form company fronts in a tunnel underneath the stands.
Commander Iron Grate stands at the front. His three captains line up behind him. The Captain in the center carries the Equestrian flag. Anon is standing in the third row and fourth in line. He isn't given the honor of carrying the Royal Guard flag because he is too tall.
Each guard waits patiently to be called to attention. The cue is the Canterlot Orchestra and Choir playing the song When the Guards Come Marching Home. For now, they talk amongst each other. Anon doesn't say anything. He thinks about the other night when he was nearly poisoned.
Commander Iron Grate had George questioned by some of the officers. It turns out that some of the nobles blackmailed him into putting arsenic in Anon's food to make him sick. Since the attempted poisoning was done undress, George wasn't arrested. After that, Commander Grate took the information to Princess Celestia. She ordered a secret investigation. So far, Anon hasn't heard anything from the investigators or the Princesses. He adjusts his armor slightly as he sees a Royal Guard Corporal waving at Iron Grate from the mouth of the tunnel. The Commander nods his head once and turns around to face everyone.
"Attention!" he bellows.
Everyone snaps to attention. All four flags stand straight up. Anon signs heavily as the order to march forward is given. Then, the multitude of snare drums performing a militaristic drum cadance fills the stadium. The guards march out of the tunnel as the orchestra plays and the choir sings.
As for the song, the lyrics go a little this:

By this time, the guards had marched almost before all four princesses and Prince Shining Armor. They are sitting in a private room inside the press box on the far right. The appearance of Princess Cadance and Shining Armor was a last-minute surprise. Anon guesses it was for old-time's sake since Shining Armor made a name for himself at the COBA when he was just a mere 2nd Lieutenant. When the guards pass in front of the Royal Family, Commander Grate barks "face right." Each of the guards sharply turns their head to the right. They raise their right hoof, or in Anon's case, arm and salute their leaders. Celestia, Luna, and Shining Armor salute back. The guards march forward behind a small podium close to the stands and at the center of the field. Commander Grate orders the troops to halt and do the right face. When they stop, the song reaches its final verse.

The song ends as thunderous applause and cheers fill the arena. Commander Grate walks up to the podium. He waits for the noise to die down before speaking. It takes longer than he wants because he starts and looks up at Princess Celestia because he doesn't know what to do. Finally, he speaks to quiet the crowd.
"Good afternoon, mares and gentlecolts. My name is Commander Iron Grate of the Royal Guard. I am honored and pleased to welcome you to this year's Commissioned Officer's Battlefield Assessment. Behind me are 108 officers who were selected to show you their skills in combat prowess and leadership on the battlefield. Over the past two and half months, they have trained themselves and their troops to compete against one another in a contest of champions. For those who aren't familiar with the COBA..."
Right about then, Anon starts tuning out. He had heard the explanation so often that he could recite the official definition by heart. He starts scanning the crowd to see who is there. Of course, the Royal Family is here. Many nobles, including Fancy Pants and his wife, Fleur de Lis, sit just below the press box. What interests Anon is three of the nobles are talking to each other. They seem shocked about something. They look directly at Anon. He concludes that they know something or had something to do with the attempted poisoning—he memorizes what they look like before moving on. Closer to the first row is all of the Elements.
Applejack is with her entire family. Pinkie is wearing homemade Royal Guard armor made from cardboard, and her face is painted green with a black question mark going down the middle. What surprises him the most is that Rainbow Dash is here. Anon hasn't seen her since she pushed him out a window after the Hearth's Warming Tree Lighting Festival. He had heard that she had become a Wonderbolt. During his deployment, Anon met Captain Spitfire, the commanding officer of the Wonderbolts. She said that Rainbow Dash was very cocky and arrogant at first but started learning to be more humble. Of course, Rarity wears fancy clothing as if she were a noble or every royalty. Spike is sitting next to her, eating a bag of popcorn. Fluttershy is sitting with Starlight Glimmer in the front row. She gently waves at Anon, but he doesn't move at all.
Then, Anon tunes in when Commander Grate says something that Anon wishes he hadn't said.
"Not only is this the 500th COBA, but this is the first one where a non-pony officer was selected to participate! Please give applause to 1st Lieutenant Anonymous of the Royal Guards!"
There is polite applause, but Pinkie takes it a step further.
"LET'S GO, NONIE!!! WHOO-HOO!!!" she screams as she jumps up and down.
Anon groans as he closes his eyes out of embarrassment. Some of the guards chuckle.
"Fucking damn it, Pinkie. Please, fucking stop," Anon whispers.
Pinkie keeps on cheering even after the applause stops. Starlight uses her magic to cast a spell where Pinkie loses her voice temporarily. This gets her to stop and sit back down.
"Uh...thank you. As we close the ceremony, let me ask these brave officers their creed," Commander Grate says.
He turns to the officers. He takes a big breath before speaking.
"What is your creed?!" he bellows.
"In service to Princess Celestia, Princess of the Sun, and Princess Luna, Princess of the Moon, I pledge my heart and hooves to defend our beloved nation! I am a guard in the Equestrian Armed Forces, bound by honor and duty! In the light of Princess Celestia's wisdom and Princess Luna's guidance, I strive to embody the virtues of courage, boldness, and selflessness! My fellow guards and I are in one mind, body, and spirit! We stand ready to give our lives in defense of all of Ponykind! With the might of our courageousness and the resistance of unity, we charge into the fray, prepared to die for our home! In times of peace, we will remain vigilant! In times of war, we charge forth into battle, for Equestria's defense is our mission. This is our creed!" the guards recite in unison.
"Are you worthy of this creed?!!"
"AXIOS!!!"
Commander Grate turns around to face the crowd. Another round of applause and cheers fills the stadium. Again, a lot of it comes from Pinkie. The previous spell had worn off. Starlight uses her magic again, but this time, she surrounds Pinkie in a magical bubble to mute her. Anon sighs a sigh of relief. He can almost hear most guards, and the audience does the same thing.
Then, Commander Grate orders the officers to do a "right face" and march. He follows them in the same fashion. They march until they are back into the tunnel. Commander Grate permitted the officers to break formation, return to their tents, or meet with their parents. Anon returns to his tent to be alone for some quiet.
When he gets back, he takes off his armor and his tunic. He puts them on the armor stand before lying down for a nap. There is a flash of yellow light before he can even get over to his cot.
"It would seem you are trying to avoid me, or am I just imagining things?" a warm, motherly voice asks.
Anon turned around and saw Princess Celestia standing at the entrance to his tent. He lets out a panicked shout as he reaches for his tunic to try and cover himself.
"Fucking hell, Tia! Don't any of you ponies have the slightest concept of privacy?" Anon growls through gritted teeth.
"Why are you in your underwear?" Celestia asks as she attempts to maintain eye contact with Anon.
"I was going to take a nap, but you scared me shitless, so there goes that idea."
He quickly slips on his tunic and sits down at his desk. Celestia closes the tent's entrance flap. She sits on Anon's cot. She then casts a privacy spell around them so no one could disturb them.
"I have some news about the investigation," she says.
"Oh?"
"My and Luna's guards interrogated George and found that five nobles conspired to poison you. Three have children participating in the COBA as 1st Lieutenant Royal Guards. They have narrowed down who they might be, but there isn't a 100% certainty."
"I have some info that might help. Three nobles talked to each other during the ceremony, and they seemed surprised to see me there. One was a black Earth pony, another was a yellow pegasus, and the last was a red pegasus. The yellow one is a male."
There is a look of recognition that passes across Princess Celestia's face. It is quickly replaced with a severe look. Non has only seen this one very few times in the time he's known her. It creeps him out enough to where he avoids her gaze. If looks could kill, that one would send him to the most bottomless pit of hell.
"Are you sure, Anonymous?" Celestia asks.
"Damn sure," he replies.

Anon sits with his guards in the stands of the arena. They watch the Solar Guards Captains fight each other in the battle royale event, along with thousands of other spectators. There are seven left out of the original twelve. This arena's terrain for this match is a jungle that looks to be straight from Vietnam. The Solar Guards 2nd Lieutenants fought in a desert, while the 1st Lieutenants fought in a tundra.
Right now, one of the duels is being broadcast magically onto massive jumbotrons that face the stands. It's a fight between a unicorn and an Earth pony. Cheers fill the stadium as the Earth pony beats back the unicorn by using powerful sword strikes and kicks. The unicorn tries using magic blasts, shields, sword parries, and speed to defend himself, but it is no use. The final blow from his opponent's sword causes him to disappear with a poof of pink smoke. Cheers and laughs erupt as the guard waves his weapon in the air. Anon claps but stops when he hears the familiar plinking of bits behind him. He turns and sees one of his guards handing another a few golden coins.
"Ball! Mug! What the fuck are you doing?" Anon asks.
The two guards look at him with shock on their faces.
"Just doing some betting, sir," Private Ball, a female pegasus, replies.
"You know that gambling of ANY kind is against Royal Guard Code. Don't let me catch you two dumbasses again. Clear?"
"Crystal clear, sir."
That was the fourth time Anon was bothered by someone in this match. Anon turns around to watch as another fight is projected onto the jumbotron. Then, a few minutes later, someone taps him on the shoulder.
"Do you people fucking mind?" he shouts as he turns around.
He comes face-to-face with a Royal Guard Sergeant Major. Anon relaxes his gaze a little.
"1st Lieutenant Anonymous, His Highness, Prince Shining Armor, requests your presence," the guard says.
"Oh, okay. Lead the way, Sergeant Major."
Anon follows the guard to the press box and into the private room, where the Royal Family watches the match. When Anon opens the door, they turn and look at him. Shining Armor smiles the biggest smile when he sees his human friend.
"Anon! What's up, buddy?!" he shouts.
"Good to see you, too," Anon says.
"Here. Have a seat."
The two share a hoofbump. Anon takes off his helmet and sits between Shining Armor and Princess Luna. A butler offers him water to drink, along with some cheese and fruit. Of course, Anon obliges in the refreshments. He sits there in silence as he watches the match continue. The match has reached a point where the guards would rather hide than hunt each other down. That is until the magic barrier pushes them together, and they are forced to fight each other.
"What do you think of these Solar Guards so far," Shining Armor asks Anon.
"It's too early to give any realistic judgment since this is only the battle royale stage. Also, I'd judge them through Royal Guard standards, not by their standards."
"Fair enough. How do you feel about your upcoming match?"
"If I'm being honest, I'm nervous. I've got a lot to prove today, and if I fuck it up here, I fuck up not my reputation but the 25th's, as well."
"Tell me about your unit."
"When I was assigned to them a little over three years ago, they were a bunch of outcasts. None of them are of noble blood or even from wealthy families. They were the bottom of the barrel. No one seemed to give a damn that they were essentially forgotten. I had my work cut out for me, but I, along with 2nd Lieutenant Red Sun and Sergeant Flash Sentry, made them into something. They want the chance to prove that they aren't a bunch of misfit nobodies but a battalion of misfit Royal Guards capable and worthy of fighting by Princess Celestia's side. Today, I must prove that I can lead them into battle."
"I didn't know Sentry was in your unit."
"He's a good soldier. I'm proud to have him in my chain of command. It's damn time that he gets a promotion."
"I'm sure the time will come."
Anon and Shining Armor make small talk until the end of the match. The Earth pony from before won. Anon is happy for the guard since it's usually a unicorn or a pegasus who wins these matches. Then, he stands up and slips on his helmet.
"Where pray tell are you going?" Princess Luna asks.
"I have to be in the waiting room before the match before ours starts," Anon responds.
He leaves the press box. After picking up his spear and shield from Red Sun, his guards wish him luck. They cheer as he leaves, causing other spectators to cheer.
Anon walks to the waiting room where seven others are waiting. Over the next ten minutes, the rest of them arrive. It doesn't surprise anyone that Golden Lance is fashionably late. As he struts in like a peacock searching for a mate, Anon starts mocking him by making chicken noises. Everyone laughs at Golden Lance. When Golden sits down in the back, embarrassed, he points his spear at Anon. Anon ignores the pompous unicorn as he prays the Soldier's Prayer softly. He prays this prayer three more times, hoping his faith will help in battle and ease his nerves. Golden Lance notices this and takes the opportunity to belittle Anon.
"Look, everypony. The green Ape is afraid. He's so afraid that he has to pray to whatever god it believes in," he taunts.
"Shut the fuck up, asshole! Let him pray if he wants!" one of the guards shouts.
"Your faith won't save you, Ape! It's worthless! Just like you and your pathetic little band of rejects who have no place in the -"
His shouting is cut off when Anon turns around. His sword is pointed at the unicorn. A glare that is full of fury. It causes everyone's blood in the room to run cold. They had never seen Anon this angry before. Golden tries to keep a brave face, but it's not used.
"Cállante, tu gilipollas hijo de puta," Anon says. (Shut up, you asshole son of a bitch.)
He sheathes his sword and turns back around.
About an hour later, Iron Grate walks in a wizard named Sunburst, the supposed successor of Star Swirl the Bearded. The two stallions walk to the front of the room. All the guards stand up and salute. This startles the wizard.
"I'm still not used to that, Commander," Sunburst says quietly.
"Get over it, wizard," Iron Grate grumbles, "At ease, ladies! Alright, listen up! This is Sunburst, the Imperial Wizard of the Crystal Empire. He is the chief wizard over all the other wizards and mages that do the magic bullshit during the COBA. Now, before we get started, there are a few extra things I want to go over. Before you enter the port, I will give you an arena map. These are fresh and brand new, so you are welcome. Any questions?"
"Commander, I'm confused. How do you create a map of a place that just has been changed?" one of the officers asked.
"It's sophisticated magic. You cast a spell to scan a certain area, and you can transfer that data to an enchanted piece of paper," Sunburst replies.
"Any more bullshit questions?" Iron Grate asks.
No one says a word.
"Good. Who wants to be teleported first?"
Anon steps forward. On his face is the famous blank stare he was known for. He lets Sunburst enchant his weapons. Then, Anon pulls his KA-BAR knife from a sheath in his shield near his arm straps.
"Hey, enchant this, as well. There's nothing in the rules that says that I can't use a personal weapon during the COBA," Anon says.
Sunburst looks confused and turns his head to Iron Grate. The Commander nods his head, so the wizard enchants the knife. Then, Anon is given a map. He points to the map where he wants to be teleported. Sunburst creates a portal as Anon rolls his shoulders and his neck. Then, he walks through the large portal. Anon finds himself standing on top of a large hill. He chose to be teleported to the top of a hill to get a decent vantage point and study the arena.
At the base of the hill to the north, a river runs down the center and the length of the arena. A forest to the west covers at least a third of the arena—the rest is a chaparral. To Anon, the arena looks a lot like Greece. He chuckles to himself as he realizes this.
Then, fireworks shoot across the sky to start the match. Cheers fill the arena. In five minutes, the magical barrier will close in. Anon jogs down the hill toward the river. Anon plans to make his way toward the center as quickly as possible to ambush anyone doing the same thing along the way, anyone already at the center or just arriving there. He travels along the river because he knows someone will eventually need water to quench his thirst during the match.
At first, there isn't any action to speak of. There are a couple of duels. Most of them are guards going after Golden Lance and getting themselves eliminated. By the first barrier close-in, Golden eliminated three guards alone. Anon is a little annoyed at the lack of action. He had hoped that at least one pony would want to fight. Then, Anon reminds himself that taking on the enemy requires patience and that he's the hunter, not the hunted.
He follows the river, keeping to the bushes and waiting for the right time and opponent. Finally, he gets his moment after the third barrier close-in.
Anon is sitting in a grove of trees when he hears some fighting sounds. He tightens his grip around his spear as he turns around. He spots a pair of guards, a pegasus, and a unicorn fighting about 50 yards away. The temptation to third-party the fight grows, but Anon resists. He decides to keep sneaking up on them and fight the winner. Eventually, the fight finishes with the unicorn winning. He's bloody, bruised, and tired, which gives Anon the advantage. So, he rushes at the guard from his hiding spot. His shield is raised along with his spear.
"Holy shit!" the unicorn screams.
He fires three magic blasts that only glance off Anon's shield. When Anon gets close, he thrusts his spear at this opponent. He misses, and the unicorn uses his magic to pull him forward so he can attack Anon's exposed side. However, Anon swings his shield outward and slams it into the unicorn. The blow sends him flying a few feet. As the unicorn lays on the ground, trying to regain his breath, Anon charges forward. He hits his opponent once in the chest, but when he trusts again, the unicorn turns and bucks as hard as he can. Anon's armor reduces some force but cannot keep him on his feet. He falls to one knew as he tries not to throw up from the blow.
"Ouch," Anon gasps.
"If it helps, dude, I was aiming for your chest," the unicorn groans.
"Not one bit."
Anon and the unicorn face off again. This time, the other guard attacks first. He uses a flurry of magic and sword attacks to catch Anon off guard. It's no use because Anon dodges or blocks each blow. The unicorn's attacks slow as he uses his magic reserves and energy. Anon dodges the next sword swipe and maneuvers himself to the unicorn's exposed side. He thrusts his spear and hits the unicorn in the side. Then, he spartan kicks as hard as he can, causing the unicorn to yelp out of pain and collapse. Then, Anon jabs his opponent one final time. The unicorn disappears. Cheers fill the arena as Anon goes to hide and rest.
After checking for any significant injuries, Anon goes on the move again. His next target is an Earth pony mare. Anon uses his ambush tactic, which works again. At the end of the fight, she tries to retreat, but Anon hurls his spear and eliminates her. More cheers erupt. Only Anon, a guard from Dodge Junction, and Golden Lance are left. The barrier forces the remaining guards outside the town. Golden Lance and the other guard fight while Anon rests behind a house to devise a plan.
Golden Lance is a skilled and intelligent fighter. He knows how to fight and beat almost every creature in Equestria. Not only that, but his magical talent, magic reserves, strength, and speed are extraordinary for a unicorn. Some say his abilities rival Shining Armor's. There isn't any point in ambushing him, so the best option is to face him directly. Anon waits for the spectators' cheers that signal the end of the fight. After a few moments, the anticipated cheers come. Anon stands up and prays one more time.
"Ape, if you are still out there, it's your turn for elimination!" Golden Lance shouts.
Anon knows the bravado is all an act for the crowd. He knows that Golden is terrified. The facade annoys Anon. He walks out from behind the house.
"Hey, you know the saying, 'Ask and you shall receive'?" Anon asks, "Well, here I am."
"It's about time, you cowardly ape!" Golden Lance taunts.
"C'mon, Golden, quit acting so tough. The crowd and the dumbass nobles might buy it, but I don't. I saw the way you trembled like a little filly earlier. Admit it, I intimidate you."
"A-afraid. Ha, you w-wish that were t-true."
"Then, why don't you explain that stutter you got going on there."
"Enough t-talk, A-ape! Let's f-finish this!"
"As you wish, my liege. Let's make this interesting."
Anon tosses his spear aside, much to the surprise of Golden Lance and the spectators, and draws his sword. Golden does the same.
He has heard from some of his guards that Anon is an exceptional sword fighter. He uses a combination of brute strength and speed. Also, his large shield gives him a defensive and offensive advantage. Not to mention that Anon is a brilliant tactician in hoof-to-hoof combat. He is also known to fight dirty rather than fair. He is more than a match for Golden.
The two circle each other, waiting for the other to attack first. They continue this charade until the two rush at each other. They exchange blows- swords clanging and grunting echoes off the buildings' walls. Their fears and nervousness disappear as they focus on their opponent's movements. Anon soon gains the upper hand when he shoulder charges Golden with his shield. The blow stuns Golden, which allows Anon to land a strike. Before Anon can land another strike, Golden uses a shockwave spell to push him back.
Golden changes his strategy because mere swordplay doesn't work against Anon. He decides to incorporate his magic ability since he has some left.
When Anon attacks again, Golden dodges the blow and uses magic to pull Anon off his feet. He lands on his back but rolls out of the way as Golden slams his sword down. Anon thursts his sword at Golden's chestplate as he tries to strike again. Only one more hit before he is eliminated. Golden screams in rage as he uses magic to pick up Anon and slam him on the ground hard. Anon drops his sword in the process. He does this two more times. Then, he pulls Anon towards him. Golden slices Anon across his left thigh. He drops him again, then jabs him through the bicep. Anon is in too much pain to cry out. Golden uses his magic again to throw Anon against a nearby building. Anon tries to get up, but he can't. It takes everything in his power to breathe.
In the private box, Princess Celestia is panicking. Seeing Anon beaten to a bloody pulp is agonizing. She knows that the COBA is brutal, but this was too much to bear. Tears fall down her face as she watches Anon struggle to use his shield to prop himself up.
"Anon, get up! Keep fighting, Anon!" Celestia cries.
"Tia, please, calm yourself," Luna says, trying to comfort her sister.
"Lulu, can't you see the man I love is in pain? I've got to stop this fight."
"Auntie, you know that you can't interfere. You wrote that rule yourself. If Anon is half the stallion you say he is, he won't give up," Cadance adds.
Celestia covered her eyes as Golden Lance approached Anon, his sword ready to strike. Anon painstakingly gets on his hands and knees while gasping in pain. He watches as Golden slinks up to him. A cocky grin is on Golden's face as he nears his all-but-beaten opponent.
"You think you are somepony worth something, but you aren't, you filthy Ape. You are worse than a thestral. It's time you learned your place, which is under my hoof. Any last words before I win?" Golden taunts.
"Go... fuck.... yourself," Anon groans.
He throws a handful of dirt and rocks in Golden's eyes. He cries out in shock. He tries blinking out the dirt, but it's no use as it turns to mud. Anon punches as hard as he can at Golden's nose and breaks it. He stumbles back as blood pours out of his nose. To finish off his opponent, Anon pulls his KA-BAR knife from its sheath in his shield. He jabs Golden in the neckguard, who disappears in a flash. Anon shakily stands up as cheers fill the arena. This time, it's louder than ever. They start chanting his name, as well. He tries holding up his knife above his head, but his ability to stand up straight fails. Due to the blood loss, Anon passes out.

The 25th Aurora Battalion, the Elements of Harmony, and Starlight Glimmer sit outside Anon's tent, awaiting news about his recovery. They haven't been updated in over four hours. The only one who knows anything is Princess Celestia. She is sitting at Anon's bedside. She keeps watch over Anon as a medic checks on him.
"How is he, Sergeant Major?" Celestia asks.
"He's stable, Your Highness. We gave him a healing potion earlier so that his body would heal fully at an increased rate. However, he'll experience some fatigue due to the speed of the healing process," the medic responds.
"Do you know how long it will be before he awakens?"
"To be honest with you, ma'am, I have no idea. We've never tested that potion on a human before. It could be in a few hours or tomorrow afternoon. Not to mention that the injuries he sustained will also affect the healing process."
"Okay. Thank you so much. You're dismissed."
The medic salutes Celestia and leaves the tent to update the ponies outside before attending to the other injured guards.
For the next few hours, Celestia watches over Anon. She reads a Daring Do book as she sits. Some of Anon's officers come to check on him. Most of them are surprised to see Celestia in Anon's tent. They leave almost immediately, which is okay with her because she wants as much alone time as possible with Anon. Eventually, she falls asleep with her head on Anon's lap.
Her current dream is of her and Anon having a picnic on a cloud overlooking Ponyville. For some reason, Anon is wearing a toga, exposing his overly toned chest. They stare deeply into each other's eyes while they feed each other. After they finish eating, Anon strokes Celestia's face as he leans in for a kiss. However, the dream ends when Anon is mere millimeters from her face. Her eyes flutter open. She sees Anon petting her mane as he looks down at her.
"You talk a lot in your sleep," Anon says softly, slightly grinning.
"You're awake. I'm glad," Celestia replies, "What time is it?"
"Uh... it's around 2000 hours. Holy fuck! I'm going to miss the Lunar Guard's battle royale matches!"
Anon tries to get up, but Celestia pushes him back down with her hoof.
"You need to rest, Anon."
"I need to be there, Tia. I told Luna that the 25th and I would be there."
"Don't worry. Red Sun is there with them, and LuLu appreciates their support for the Lunar Guard."
"Okay. I'm just making sure."
Celestia lays her head back down as Anon continues petting her name with his right hand and holds open a book with his left. They stay like this until Anon begins yawning.
"Hey, Tia. I need some shut-eye to prepare for the Conquest event the day after tomorrow," Anon says.
"Alright, then. Do you mind if I spend the night here?" Celestia responds.
"Are you sure about that? I'm not entirely sure that this cot will hold both of us, much less fit both of us."
"It will. It's designed to-- oh, never mind. I'll go sleep in the royal tent."
Celestia stands up to leave. She's a little irritated that Anon worries about the tiny details about a damned cot. However, Anon calls out to her.
"Tia, hold on. I want you to be comfortable," Anon explains.
"To Tartarus with being comfortable, Anon. I want to be with you, regardless of where or how comfortable we are," Celestia says.
Anon scoots as far as he can without falling off, pulls over the covers, and pats the spot next to him. Celestia crawls into the cot. She puts out the lantern with magic as Anon pulls the covers back over them. At first, they lie facing away from each other, not entirely sure of themselves and nervous. Anon decides to make the first move and end the awkwardness by turning over and wrapping his arms around Celestia's body. Both their hearts are racing, and their bodies are tense and rigid. They relax as time goes by. Celestia falls asleep first. Anon stays for a little longer. He nuzzles the nape of her neck and hugs her tighter.
"Good night, Tia. I...I... love you," he whispers.