My Life as a Pony

by _Sugarplum_


The Folly of Foals

My first pony party was… quite eventful, to say the least. It ended with a brawl between Applebloom and Diamond Tiara. I hadn’t expected the girls to actually fight each other, but damn, they sure did. 

I hadn’t watched the fight as I was too busy with having discovered video games but I caught the aftermath. By the time the fillies got separated from each other, they looked an absolute mess. The cute little fillies had gained some battle scars.

Applebloom’s pretty bows were gone and her mane was completely disheveled. Diamond Tiara had gotten a black eye. Their cute, pastel coats were covered in scrapes and a few bruises. Who knew little girls could be so violent?

It was early evening as the pair of rabble rousers awaited their punishment. They sat awkwardly in a row of chairs along the wall of the now mostly empty sweet shop. AB was on one end, DT at the other. I was between them, caught in the crossfire of their death glares.

 Mr. Filthy Rich hadn’t been present during the party. He only arrived afterwards and was distraught at the state that his daughter was in. How dare someone hurt his little angel, he’d wondered. He pitched a fit, raising his voice at the mares who were present, for allowing foals to behave in such a way. To quell his rage, Fluttershy suggested that they all have a civil discussion in private. Thus, we’re stuck down here while the ‘big ponies’ are upstairs. I hope that they don’t take long. I can hardly bear the tension going on between these kids. 


In the meeting room of Sugarcube Corner, a group of ponies sat, trying to have a totally civil discussion about the fisticuffs that had unfolded. Applejack and Filthy Rich were standing across from each other, shooting some unfriendly looks at one another. Fluttershy decided to try to be a mediator so that the conversation wouldn’t get too off track.

Filthy Rich paced back and forth for a moment. The business-stallion was fuming at the events that had transpired. He had been busy earlier and had only made it to the sweet shop after the scuffle had ended. 

Mr. Rich had given his daughter a brief talking-to. She expressed her opinions on how everything unfolded and he was always inclined to believe her. Why would his little angel ever lie to her daddy, after all?

“You need to keep that demented little sister of yours away from my darlin’ little princess,” Mr. Rich stated. He stood half a hair shorter than the farmer but looked down on her like she was so far beneath him.

“Excuse me?” Applejack retorted indignantly. She snorted in offense. “Mah sister ain’t demented! She didn’ even start the fight. She said your daughter hit her first.”

“Bah! And you believed that?” Mr. Rich asked. He scoffed. “Honestly, that girl of yours is a little hoodlum.“ He groaned as he sat down and then rubbed his temples with his front hooves. “Why couldn’t your brother look after her? She’d turn out much more civilized if she was under a stallion’s watch.”

Oh, how the middle Apple sibling hated the old fashioned stallion’s views sometimes. She can care for her own sister just as well as their brother could. She did a better job, even! Why force a stallion to do something that you can do yourself?

Applejack then puffed out her chest, feeling prideful. “I do a job fine raising Applebloom! She ain’t no hooligan.” She sighed and tried to remain respectful of the older pony. “This whole thing was just an accident. You know how foals can get fired up easily. It’s not gonna happen again on my watch, Filthy.”

“That’s Mr. Rich, to you, young filly,” the stallion retorted with a sneer, “and I still don’t believe that my precious Diamond instigated this. You better keep that little filly of yours on a leash, if you know what’s good for you. You’re lucky if I don’t make you pay restitution.”

Okay, respect is gone. AJ’s eye twitched and she slowly stepped toward Mr. Rich. She was not going to keep letting this old stallion keep slandering her baby sister’s name. That big mouthed nag. Ugh… HE’S lucky that I don’t buck his teeth in, for talking about my kin folk that way. If I were a lesser pony, I’d have been given him what for.

The farm pony’s approach was blocked by a wall of softness as her friend stretched a wing in front of her. The pegasus put herself between the two earth ponies.

“Excuse me, but I-I think that… if it’s alright to say, you’re both overreacting… a little.” Fluttershy said.

Her proposal was met with glares and then shouting. 

“Overreacting?!”

“O-oh dear,” Fluttershy mumbled. “Maybe I should’ve clarified… I meant.. um..”

The earth ponies now bickered with the anxious pegasus. The conversation was going nowhere, fast.


Diamond Tiara was still grouchy, wincing as she rubbed her swollen eye. The nerve of that dirt horse, hitting her in the face like that. She’ll have to put on so much makeup to hide the bruises on her face. She can’t have other ponies knowing that she lost a fight to some loser like Applebloom.

Her gaze then shifted to Stardust. Her face scrunched as she saw how the colt was sitting. It was like that weird unicorn mare she’d seen around town before. Surely putting all your weight on your butt can’t be comfortable. Why would anypony do that? 

Diamond Tiara thought that the colt was very strange… but she still wanted his attention. Although if that entailed having to get in anymore fights, she might reconsider it. She’s above petty violence. In fact…

“This whole thing was your fault, you know,” she asserted abruptly.

“What?” Stardust squeaked, looking offended. He then rolled his eyes at her. How rude! “How’d you figure that?”

He really thinks he didn’t do anything wrong? Typical. The pink filly scoffed and then elaborated her claim. She just had to educate the naive colt. 

“If you had just agreed to be my friend, none of this would’ve happened,” Diamond Tiara said. 

“I never actually said no,” he shrugged. “You just…. ain’t my first pick,” he retorted with a chuckle.

DT sneered. What a brain dead little… How is she not his first choice? “I am a delight!” she huffed.

Stardust shot a piteous look at the pink filly. “Diamond, sweetheart, princess,” mumbled the colt. He shook his head as he stepped towards her.“Honey, no,” he chided, “you’re cute, I’ll give you that, but let’s face it. You’re a nightmare.”

The pink pony’s face grew red as she felt conflicting emotions. This was the strangest colt she’d ever seen. He talked so weirdly. 

That colt called her mushy names so casually… yet at the same time, he was insulting her. What was his deal?

Diamond Tiara had never heard any foal talk like that. For once, the filly was at a complete loss for words. All she could manage was a frustrated frown, paired with the red tint on her cheeks.

‘I’m not a bad pony! I’m just making sure ponies know their place,’ the little rich girl assured herself.

While Diamond Tiara was busy justifying things to herself, the other filly was growing restless.

Applebloom had been quiet the whole time. She had been silently annoyed with her fellow filly’s attitude but didn’t bother to speak up. Now, she was just watching the chaos unfold.

Stardust had seemed so shy to the farm filly when she first met him. She thought he’d be quite similar in personality to her sister’s friend, Fluttershy. That was not the case. He was clearly confident as he talked down to the pink filly as if he was older than her. He was braver than she initially thought, although admittedly, he was kinda rude.

Diamond Tiara scoffed and turned away from the colt’s gaze. She was still looking angry but it soon melted away, leaving a sad expression on her face. “I’m not that bad…” she mumbled to herself.

“Eh” shrugged Stardust. “Agree to disagree. You just needa remember that actions have consequences,” he explained.

The colt chuckled as he mumbled something under his breath, a somewhat troubled expression on his face.

He looks kinda upset… but he’s still smiling at the same time?

“Ya good there, Star?” Applebloom inquired somewhat hesitantly. 


“Oh,” I said as I jolted out of my thoughts when I heard the farm girl’s voice. “I, uh… It’s nothin’. Just thinking about how I coulda never been as bad as this’n, back home,” I explained as I gestured to Diamond Tiara.

My mom would have whooped my ass if I went around talking like that to people. Hell, she did beat me over the stuff I did as a kid. If I was as bitchy as DT, it would’ve been even worse. I practically feel sore right now even thinking about it.

I cleared my throat and resumed talking. “Like I said, actions have consequences.”

I then directed my focus back on DT. “If you really want to make some more friends, you gotta stop being an ass,” I said bluntly.

“Wh- I’m not a donkey!” the pink filly whined in offense.

I groaned and face-hoofed briefly. “I didn’t mean- ugh, it’s an expression. It means that you were being a jerk. Anyway, what I’m saying is treat peop- ponies better and maybe they’ll actually like you. It wouldn’t kill you to try.”

DT looked like she was considering what I said. Her brows furrowed as she thought, before her expression softened. Her ears drooped as she looked at us sheepishly. She then opened her mouth and began to mumble, “I’m-“

“Diamond Tiara!” was called suddenly and loudly from upstairs. We all froze at the sound.

Our conversation was cut short as the adult ponies started coming downstairs. As the cacophony of hoofsteps descended the staircase, my pink cohort scrambled away from where Applebloom and I were standing, as if she was embarrassed to be seen talking to us.

The small group of adults didn’t seem to notice the awkward mood they had just created. The mares just stood idly behind the rich stallion as he gazed down at his daughter.

“Yes, Daddy?” the pink filly asked softly.

“We’re going home. This instant,” Filthy Rich announced as he stomped over to her. “No buts about it.” off of the staircase. He looked very grouchy.

Mr. Rich didn’t even wait for his daughter to respond before nearly snatching her out of her little horseshoes. He had grabbed her by the scruff of her neck and then tossed her onto his back, to which his daughter let out a defeated groan. 

“Uh… bye?” I said quietly, waving at Diamond Tiara as she was carried off. The pink filly flashed an awkward and sheepish grin my way but didn’t dare to wave back. 

I wonder what she was going to say before? Oh well, I guess I’ll ask next time I see her. Hopefully she’ll be more tolerable then. 


As Mr. Rich dragged his daughter out of the sweet shop, the older Apple sibling simply let out a heavy sigh. Applejack watched the stallion depart before turning to look at the remaining foals. 

She briefly frowned at her little sister. She raised that filly better than to get into fights. And she definitely taught her to not be rough around colts. This was an awful first impression. What if they scared the poor boy with their horseplay? He’s even more sensitive than Fluttershy ever was. He doesn’t need to be worrying about foals acting like animals in front of him.

“Applebloom,” she was with a little huff. “You must’ve lost your lil apple-pickin’ mind, wrassling with that Rich filly.”

“But Applejaaaack, she started it!” the younger girl protested.

“No butts, missy,” AJ retorted. “I don’t care who started what. Apples don’t go around throwin’ hooves willynilly. You gotta act like you got some sense.”

The irritable elder Apple paused and shifted her gaze as a brown foreleg raised in the air. She raised a brow at Stardust briefly.

“….Yes, sugarcube?”

“Um,” the colt hesitated, “Please don’t be too hard on Bloom. It really was-“

“I’m sorry, lil fella, but my mind is made up,” AJ interjected. She took a deep breath and sighed before looking back at her sister. “You’re grounded. No more leaving the farm for the next week. You’ll help Big Mac with all the cooking for the reunion."

“Aw but… Fine,” Applebloom huffed. She groaned and whinnied in annoyance. "...hmph, some party," she mumbled.

“I’m sorry,” Stardust mumbled softly.

"Be glad that I ain' punishin' you like Granny would," AJ said, chiding her little sister. "Now march," she instructed as she nudged the filly out of the door. The farm foal's head was downcast as she trudged towards home.

After the Apple gals left, only three ponies remained in the gingerbread shaped building. Fluttershy stood awkwardly next to Stardust. Her foster child wasn't involved in the brawl but she still felt compelled to talk to him about what happened. She cleared her throat and twitched her wings before talking to the boy.

"I'm sorry that your party was....less than perfect," she said sheepishly. She had hoped that his welcome party would go great, but everything went wrong in so many ways.

"It's okay," the little colt shrugged. "I think it was pretty fun actually."

"Really? But you were so upset and had an-"

"Aside from that," Stardust grumbled, "everything else was decent. I ate some snacks and stuff. I made a friend or two- maybe three... if Diamond behaves in the future," he chuckled, rolling his eyes. "Even seein' the girls fight was entertaining. Pft, I almost wanted some of that popcorn that Pinkie had." The colt paused and looked momentarily confused. "Where'd she go anyway?"

"Oh, Pinkie said something about needing to do inventory in the cellar," Fluttershy mumbled, "I'm glad to hear that you had fun though." The pegasus then rustled her ward's mane. His mane was soft, almost cottony. She gave him a gentle smile and then spoke once more. "Ready to go home now?" she inquired.

"Sure," said the foal. He then abruptly trotted off, grabbing a stray cupcake off of one of the tables with his magic. He carefully levitated the sweet, giggling softly as he looked at his snack. "Okay, now we can go."

The yellow mare slowly sauntered away from the bakery, and the confines of the village, with her foal in tow. She hummed lazily as they walked home. She looked at the setting sun briefly, wondering what the days to come will bring. Her life with this strange little colt has only begun, but she could feel that it would be one full of excitement. She just hoped it wouldn't be... too much excitement.