11 days after Zipp’s breakdown
“Now then, Zipp. Tell me what’s been troubling you?” Dr. Uaminifu asked as she sat down on her chair.
Zipp looked hesitant, still having reserves about sharing such private things with a stranger, no matter how much Sunny vouched for her. Pipp sensed her sister’s worries and placed a hoof over her own. “It’s okay, Zipp. I’m here.” She assured with a smile.
Having Pipp with her eased Zipp’s concerns and she smiled back. She then sighed and looked at the therapist. “Honestly, there’s been so much crap going on that I don’t even know what to say or how to say it.” She answered the question.
“Perhaps at where it started would be good?” Uaminifu suggested.
“That doesn’t exactly help narrow it down for me.” Zipp replied before asking. “Don’t you already know why I’m here?”
“If you mean specifically why, then no. Sunny only told me that you were in need of help and I volunteered to assist in your recovery to the best of my powers.” The therapist explained. “Other than that, I know nothing of your story and only request for a brief summary. Assuming that isn’t too much to currently ask for.”
“It’s not.” Zipp said as she decided on a starting point. “I’d say it all started when I got my hooves in our friend Misty’s necklace. I have always had my suspicions of her, and I was certain that necklace she was always wearing had something to do with it. So, when she took it off for whatever reason, I stole it and brought it back into the Brighthouse to investigate it. And like an idiot I decided to get my friends involved.”
“Zipp.” Pipp said softly.
“It’s the truth, Pipp.” Zipp countered. “I knew there was something up with that necklace, and I decided to just lay it on the table in front of you all instead of working in private like a proper detective should.” She scolded herself before she continued the story. “The necklace turned out to be full of dark magic that ended up taking possession of all of us, making all of my friends into corrupted opposites of themselves.”
Pipp frowned at what her sister said. She still considered what happened to as her true self being revealed, not her corrupted self.
Uaminifu wrote down this information before asking one of the biggest questions. “And what about you? I can only assume the dark magic did something to you as well.”
Zipp looked down in shame, already knowing the therapist her answer before she responded. “That is correct.”
“Could you tell me what it was like under the influence of that magic?” Uaminifu carefully asked. She could tell this was really uncomfortable territory for the pegasus, but she had to travel in if they were to make any progress.
As expected, Zipp hesitated greatly in her response. “I…..I…..I…..I.”
Seeing her distress, Pipp gave her sister a hug. “It’s okay, Zipp. I’m right here.” She assured her sister, not just because of Zipp reliving unpleasant memories, but also that she wouldn’t judge her not matter what she said.
This comfort helped ease Zipp slightly, but not by much. Having Pipp hear what she was about to say, or rather what she knew would be connected to what she says, was the biggest thing holding her back. And from how Dr. Uaminifu was watching them, it seemed she picked up on the same idea. "Ms. Petals, would it be too much to ask for you to step outside for a bit?" She requested of Pipp.
Pipp was taken aback by this suggestion. "Excuse me? You just said I could be here, and now you're kicking me out?"
"Please understand that this is all in Zipp's best interests." Uaminifu tried to reason with the princess.
This only upset Pipp even further as she got up from the couch and walked over angrily to the therapist. "Don't tell me what's in Zipp's best interests! I am her sister, and I am not leaving her just after I got her back in my life!" She yelled.
Zipp began to feel really uncomfortable at the signs of an argument starting between Pipp and Uaminifu, especially when she was the reason for it happening. She also was feeling guilty for giving Pipp the implication that she wasn't comfortable sharing personal information with her. She was her own sister for hoofness sake. If there was any shoulder she could expect to lean on when she needed it, it should be hers.
With a sigh, she said one word that stopped the argument between the other two mares. "Freedom.”
This got Pipp and Uaminifu to forget what they were disagreeing about and look at Zipp in confusion. “Huh?” They said simultaneously before returning to their seats. "Explain what you mean by freedom." Uaminifu requested. Of all the feelings she expected Zipp to say she experienced under the necklace’s influence, freedom was not one of them. If anything, she expected the opposite.
Zipp gave another sigh and looked at Pipp, who looked back at her older sister with concern and confusion. She had always wanted to keep a lot of this secret from her sister. From everypony honestly. But, like almost everything in her life, it was too good to last forever. Looking down at her hooves, Zipp began to explain what she meant.
“Being the heir to the throne has always been stressful for me. Mom would often scold me for sneaking off to do stunts, or research flight, or frankly anything that wasn’t what she wanted, saying that it wasn’t how a queen should act. And as I got older, the more I hated the idea of being the future queen. It felt like I wasn’t allowed to ever be myself, instead being the pony others wanted me as. Even after moving to Maretime Bay and having Mom become more accepting of who I am, the feeling still doesn’t go away. It often returns, like shackles weighing me down. The thought of how everypony is going to be looking to me for answers. How I have to be perfect in every way. Not once allowing even the smallest mistake to happen. It all builds up to the point I’m honestly surprised I haven’t had a heart attack or something similar by now.” She joked with a crude laugh before continuing.
“So when I got infected with the necklace’s dark magic, instead of feeling trapped within my own mind, it instead felt like a huge wave of relief washed over me. It was the first time I was accepting my position as the heir, yet still feeling like my own self. It was as if the shackles holding me down had been cut and I was free. It was the most exhilarating feeling since magic returned and I could fly for real that I didn’t even care at all for what I was saying or doing.”
“I see.” Uaminifu said as she wrote this information down.
Pipp was shocked to hear what Zipp was saying. She knew that her big sister always seemed to hate her princess title, hence why she gave herself the nickname in the first place so she wouldn’t be reminded of her destiny with her full name, but she didn’t expect it to affect her this much. She honestly felt like she had been selfish now for worrying so much about her own perfection when Zipp had it worse than she ever would.
“So, when Misty came in and saved us, I initially thought that was the end of it and assumed it was just me acting the opposite of myself like the rest of my friends.” Zipp paused to sniffle as she felt tears of shame from in her eyes. “But I was wrong. I was very wrong. I wasn’t made into the opposite of myself. Instead, I showed the real me that day, and she was intended to stay.”
“Zipp, that’s not true.” Pipp tried to convince her otherwise.
But Zipp shook her head. “No, Pipp. It is the truth. Why else is it that I’m the only one suffering from aftereffects of that day? I told you before, nothing that came into my head wasn’t something I haven’t considered before.”
“Aftereffects?” Uaminifu said with interest. “Care to elaborate?”
Zipp nodded and did exactly that. “In the days after the event, I would be trying to recapture that feeling of being in control of my life again in many ways. All of which were horrible. I tried to block the urges out, but they just kept coming back and I would find myself nearly forcing myself onto Hitch or trying to take the magic from the crystals.” She said before pausing, almost afraid to mention the next part.
Uaminifu noticed the pause in the story and looked at her patient. “Zipp, if you wish to stop and continue this another day, there is no problem in that.” She assured the distraught pegasus.
Knowing what was coming up in the story, Pipp found herself agreeing with the therapist as she got onto her hooves and lightly tugged her big sister’s. “Come on, Zipp. I think that’s enough for today.”
“No, no.” Zipp retorted with a sniffle. “I can do this.” She said before resuming the story. “Despite my efforts, I still kept finding myself turning to the darkness just so I’d feel comfortable with myself. And then one night, it all reached its peak. I….I……….I TRIED TO KILL PIPP!” Zipp shouted as she started to cry in shame with herself. “I stupidly kept telling myself that since Pipp is Mom’s favorite that she’d take over as heir to the throne. And with all the power I’ve been foolishly allowing myself to feel, I actually believed it! So I went over to her bed and was about to strangle her to death!”
“It was only then that I finally realized in full the pony I had become. I was disgusted with myself. How could I let myself become this tyrant? How could I do this to my friends and family? And when I realized that they’d soon notice and approach me to ask what was wrong, I knew I had to get away from them. But it was more than that. I wanted myself to suffer. To feel the pain that I was going to inflict on those I loved just because I thought I was above them. So I trapped myself in a cave and waited for the slow and agonizing end. The only reason I’m still here now is because I chose a terrible hiding place in my panic and my friends found and rescued me, convincing me to try again. And here we are.” Zipp finished her story with tears in her eyes.
"This feeling of punishing yourself, has it ever gotten to the point of you considering or even trying to take your own life?" Uaminifu asked the question she was always cautious of asking the most with any client.
Surprisingly, Zipp shook her head. "Maybe in the past when it was just stress and fear weighing me down, if only for brief moments before they were pushed aside. But now, with what I have done, I find myself wanting to drag out my punishment for as long as possible." She admitted.
She wasn’t the only one crying as Pipp also had tears now coming out of her eyes. "Zipp." She said quietly. "Why did you never tell me any of what you were feeling before?"
"Like I said, I didn-" Zipp was interrupted by Pipp now sounding almost angry with her.
"I don't mean that! I mean why would you not tell me about how much being heir stressed you out!?" Zipp winced at the shouting, and made Pipp realize the mistake she made. "I'm so sorry, Zipp. I didn't mean to shout. I guess I'm just upset with myself for not noticing any of this sooner." Pipp said as she sat next to her sister and hugged her tightly. "I really care about you, you know that."
"I know." Zipp said with a soft smile. "I just wish I truly knew that years ago."
"Huh?"
"You never noticed anything wrong with me because I always kept it hidden from everypony. This is the first time I said any of this out loud to somepony besides myself." Zipp said.
"Why?" Pipp asked.
With another long sigh, Zipp explained herself. "As a filly, I always felt like I wasn't being listened to by Mom, and I expected the same from you since you were always closet to her, hence why I keep saying you're her favorite. And as I got older, I guess I just didn't want to come off as a whiny, diva princess that wasn't happy with her life. It's not like I can do anything to change my destiny. One way or another, I will become Queen and have to rule over Zephyr Heights. Complaining about it is just pointless."
"Zipp, that doesn't mean you should keep these concerns of yours bottled up." Pipp told her.
"I agree." Uaminifu said. "There's nothing wrong with admitting something is bothering you to those who care about you. Keeping all of this bottled up within yourself is unhealthy and can have major consequences down the line."
"I understand." Zipp nodded, taking in what she was told.
"Good." Uaminifu said as she finished writing down her report. "I believe you've been kept in here long enough. You're free to go." She said as she got up and opened the door for the two sisters to leave.
"Thank you, Doctor." Zipp said as she got to her feet with Pipp at her side, a wing draped around her.
"Think nothing of it, sweetie. My door is always open." She said as the two of them left.
Once they were out of the building and on their way back to the Brighthouse, Pipp decided to say one last thing that had been eating her up. "Zipp, I'm sorry."
"Huh?" The white pegasus looked at her sister in confusion. "What for?" She asked.
"Even if you were deliberately trying to hide your stress and worries from me, I still should've noticed. But I was so wrapped up in my own things, thinking how much harder I have it than you with everything, that I never took the time to really consider how much pressure you would be under. I'm a celebrity popstar princess. I have much work to do with organizing songs and dance routines to please my fans. But none of that should compare to being the queen of Zephyr Heights and all you have to do as training for that. I'm sorry it took me you nearly killing yourself to finally realize that."
"Hey." Zipp said with a soft smile as she pulled Pipp into a wing hug. "Like I said, I was keeping all of this from you and Mom. Neither of you would've noticed no matter how much you looked. I guess I was just spiteful of how things were going so perfect for the two of you that I didn't trust you with my own problems."
"Well, I hope you know now that you can. Zipp, Mom loves you just as much as she loves me. Not just because of you being her successor, but because of the daughter you've grown up into. Please, don't think that you're not important to us at all besides being the future. You mean the world to us both."
Despite still having some reservations with what Pipp said, Zipp nodded. "Yeah. I think I can start doing that now."