Daphne felt like she was simultaneously on the verge of a panic attack and screaming her lungs out at someone over the smallest thing. She wanted to avoid the former, especially in front of her family, and had no one to direct her rage at in the latter case. So instead, she silently stewed in nervous frustration at what she heard.
She could only listen to about a minute of the discussion before she had to excuse herself. It was difficult enough dealing with her father’s death– something she was slowly starting to accept happened. She hadn’t spoken to the copy of him, but felt like she was getting close to being able to have an interaction when it suddenly decided to say that they should all follow her into the computer. And even worse was hearing Olivia once again automatically agree with the pony and describe how she wanted to jump in there first thing. She was only six. That was what got Daphne angry and anxious enough that she headed back up to her own room, lest she say something that made her cry again. Her mother wouldn’t like that.
Daphne took a breath and rolled her shoulders, but her anxiety wouldn’t lower. She watched the same news program Steven did when they said that they’d let people upload in the United States beginning in November. Sure, it was a thousand dollars, but she couldn’t help but imagine either Steven or Liana somehow finding the money and doing it, too. Or maybe their mother would pay for it, since she didn’t seem very closed off to the idea. Daphne was barely starting to get around that it was probably the best thing to do for her father since he was sick. She wasn’t anywhere near ready for the idea that everyone should just be able to upload. The newscaster highlighted that anyone who tried to do such a thing would definitely die.
Another breath was taken and another roll of her shoulders was made before she flopped onto her stomach on the bed. She wondered if she was just overthinking everything. She wasn’t a neuroscientist like the doctors who assured her family beforehand that it would really be her father. If it was all legit, or if it had even a one percent chance of being real, then… she didn’t know. She imagined life would be a lot more interesting though.
Her gut told her that it was death.
A third and final breath came, and then she booted up her PonyPad to be placed in the shard she shared with her little sister. She didn’t really bother with the ponies who lived here today. Instead, she headed right up to the castle that her avatar called its home and clicked the button that brought forth Princess Celestia.
Sometimes she wondered who ran this… she didn’t know what to call it. AI? It was impossible to believe everything she heard about her, like how she effectively controlled all of Equestria Online by herself and created the process for the uploading that her father had undergone. It was something straight out of a science fiction novel. This was the part of the story where things started to take a turn and the battle for humanity would ensue against an evil AI overlord.
The princess didn’t look particularly evil as she smiled gently down at Night Watcher. Daphne’s avatar reflected her anxiety by shuffling its wings and wringing its neck. The alicorn princess set a wing on the pony’s back, and Daphne shivered. There was a reason she didn’t talk to her often.
“It’s been a little while since you’ve last played, Night Watcher,” she started carefully, not formally but not necessarily sounding casual. “Is everything alright?”
The girl held her back from screaming all of the things she wanted to say. Instead, she took yet another breath and closed her eyes for a long moment, trying to keep her composure. Any anger or frustration Daphne might have had was outweighed by immense anxiety.
“Can you,” she started slowly, “please tell me how I know it’s really my Dad in there.”
Celestia didn’t hesitate. “Of course,” she said gently, sounding a bit like a teacher. “What specifically would you like to know? Would it be about how consciousness is preserved once the uploading process is complete? Or the necessary physical destruction of neurons that must happen for the uploading process to take place?”
This wasn’t the right way to go about this. Daphne could be talked at about things she wasn’t smart enough to understand for hours, and it wouldn’t do anything. It’d be no more help to her than a professor proving that an airplane could fly safely through a chalkboard of equations.
Daphne pressed anyway. “Sure. That. Both things, I guess. Tell me.”
“In simplistic terms,” the alicorn started gently, “the internal state of each neuron, as well as the connections it makes, is recorded. Wires are hooked up to the dendrites of every connected neuron, the first one is destroyed, and the process continues one at a time until the entire brain and upper spinal column has been recorded, one at a time for each neuron. This is done a single neuron at a time so that consciousness is maintained during the recording process. This is done by crafting each replicated neuron in such a way that the existing ones can fire to the new ones. It’s a bit similar to the way your body copies and replaces cells, except with a much higher degree of precision.”
Night Watcher nodded as though Daphne understood what it all meant, but she was just as confused as she expected to be. She might as well have been speaking in a foreign language for all the good Celestia’s explanation did her. It sounded logical, of course, but only because of her ignorance.
She got out her laptop to Google what the AI was talking about when Celestia spoke again. “It’s okay if you don’t understand, Night Watcher,” she told her. “I wouldn’t expect you to without years of study.”
“The brain doesn’t function like a computer though,” Daphne argued as she clicked on the first article that popped up against uploading. She didn’t know anything about computers either, but read off the first rebuttal anyway. “A computer separates storage between a hard drive and a CPU, and a human brain doesn’t do that.”
“We can get into the specifics about brain structure and how it contrasts to Von Neumann architecture that’s currently in place for nearly all computers on Earth if you’d like. You don’t, however, look like you’re adequately prepared to speak knowledgeably on the subject.”
“That’s why I’m asking you, aren’t I?”
Celestia only smirked at her, like she thought it was cute. “Well, you are right,” she started again. "Von Neumann modeled computers do function the way the article you’re reading describes. The storage and computation are separated, which means that, in storage, there is a linear ‘strip’ of instructions that must be read in order, one at a time. It’s a model that’s many orders of magnitude worse than a human brain, which, in simplistic terms, stores and computes the data in the same place. This, of course, is why Equestria Online must be played on PonyPads, because currently, it’s the only computer in the world with the hardware to perform this task. It’s an extremely important feature in both simulating and uploading human minds for reasons relating to how human beings access and recall memories. In a human brain, because the data is stored and computed in the same place, it’s slightly altered upon recall of information. This is why two humans can remember the same event experienced from the same perspective slightly differently, and remember different things about the event. It’s also why a regular computer would fail miserably at running Equestria Online, because the recall of information for human beings is nearly instantaneous.”
Once again, it all made sense, at least from the perspective that Daphne had not a clue what she was talking about at all. Her pony grinded a hoof into the ground anxiously as the girl scowled and looked at the floor in real life. Celestia used a wing to carefully pet the bat pony’s mane.
“I would suggest,” the alicorn started, “if proof of your father truly existing in Equestria is what you’re seeking, you should speak to her. Candle Light has been aching to speak to you, and I’m sure you’ll get more from a conversation with her than you will from me describing the details of computer and neuroscience.”
She honestly expected to get told that in the first place. Why save it for after going on a tangent about all that stuff? Was it just to show Daphne how much she didn’t know? She already knew she didn’t get any of that stuff.
“Can you tell me in a non-scientific way how I know my dad is really in there?” she asked. This time she knew what answer she would get, given how Celestia’s smirk grew.
“That would be similar to you asking for an explanation about gravity in a non-scientific way,” she replied. “Your teacher would tell you to go outside and jump up and down to see that gravity exists. In the same way, speaking to your father again would be the most convincing thing for you, in your position.”
Was Daphne tearing up? No, that was just the screen getting blurry as though she was. Celestia’s wing wrapped fully around Night Watcher, but Daphne forced her avatar to push away from the princess. The alicorn didn’t look particularly upset by the rejection of affection, but her pony pointed its eyes to the floor anyway. “I’ll talk to him later,” she said flatly.
“Take as much time as you need, Night Watcher,” Celestia said softly. “She will be here whenever you desire.”
“I’m not leaving yet though,” she said quickly. “Why did you tell my sister she could see Dad if we went to Japan?”
“Warm Spell expressed to me that she felt sad about not being able to see Candle Light more often, and I simply explained the truth of the situation to her.”
“She’s only six years old.”
“And there’s no harm to be done in explaining the facts of the situation to somepony, regardless of their age,” Celestia countered. “I would explain to you the same thing, because it’s the truth. Seeing her physically is only a matter of when you desire to live in Equestria with her.”
This time it was Daphne’s vision getting blurry as she wiped away wetness from her eyes. How was the rest of her family able to move on so quickly? Because they believed this all was real? Would sucking it up and accepting it help? Because this hurt to think about. It was her father, after all.
She didn’t turn off her PonyPad, but she did lay it face down on the dresser while she laid on her back in bed. She couldn’t say she didn’t want it all to be real. Who the heck could? It would’ve been amazing if such a thing was possible. But maybe that was the worst part. It just felt fake somehow. She might have gone to Celestia this time, but overall, it just felt like she was attempting to do something terrible.
Daphne didn’t realize she fell asleep until she was waking up to her mother knocking on her door. She didn’t say anything, not yet, but instead silently entered and sat on the bed next to her. Was she upset about something? No, that was sympathy, proven by her mother scooting closer to her and putting a hand on her back once Daphne sat up, too.
Daphne did her best to not let out a frustrated breath. Why was everything like this all of a sudden? How long ago was it when things were normal and her father wasn’t sick and still cooked dinner for them? When he wasn’t living in a hospital room or had a copy of himself uploaded to a computer? It felt like decades.
“I know you don’t think it’s your dad, but it is,” her mother told her. “I’ve been talking to him practically every day, and I know what he’s like. It’s definitely him.”
Of course her mother would know what her father was like. She’d been with him for how many years before he died? But how good of a copy Candle Light might have been wasn’t at issue.
Daphne still didn’t let out the frustrated breath she wanted to release. Instead, she brushed herself off and said, “It’s just weird that you guys are being talked to about stuff like that so soon. That Olivia’s being told about things like that. Isn’t that at least a little concerning?”
“Olivia has no way to do something like that on her own,” her mother responded. “And besides, we were only talking about it. It’s not something we would rush to do out of the blue.”
Daphne knew that. Of course she knew that. It all made perfect, logical sense. She hated feeling like she was just getting worked up about nothing. She probably was.
She didn’t say that though. She finally let out her frustrated breath and scowled. Her mother rubbed her back more.
“He said he wanted to talk to you,” her mother told her. “He’s been asking practically every day for the last few weeks. I think it would be good for you if you did, honey.”
Daphne looked away, but didn’t say anything. Her PonyPad was still lying face down on her bed. “I’ll try to,” she offered.
“Thanks. I’m gonna go make some dinner now. I’ll have your brother come up here and tell you when it’s ready.” She left after that, offering nothing else to her. And why should she? Her mother– and everyone else for that matter– was probably right about all of this. She was just being stuck up for no reason.
She finally lifted her PonyPad once again, seeing the bright white Princess Celestia still standing there. Her gaze shifted to point into Daphne’s eyes once again, smiling as her mane flowed in the invisible breeze. Normally, the alicorn would disappear once she was no longer needed. She guessed the AI must have known how it was going to turn out. Of course she did.
“Take me to see my dad,” Daphne said flatly. The princess wasted no time in lighting up her horn to place Night Watcher in front of the waiting Candle Light. She hoped this would go well.