//------------------------------//
// Exhausted 
// Story: Friendship Is Optimal: Changing Tides 
// by Boopy Doopy 
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Even only seeing her family once every few weeks, Candle Light could definitely say she preferred being a pony here in Summer’s Edge to being a human being in the Outer Realm.
She still didn’t have a job, but that didn’t matter since Celestia said she could do whatever she wanted and mailed her however many bits she needed every month. She found herself spending a lot of her time working on and reading about magic, sometimes spending entire days concentrating on nothing else. She was getting pretty good, too, if she did say so herself. Her youngest daughter even asked for her help learning new spells from time to time, which made her heart flutter and her mouth turn up into a grin. 
Eventually, it started to branch out into more general science and physics about how the world worked, like learning Princess Celestia herself raised the sun every morning and moved it through the sky during the day. It also turned out there was a lot of magic in the world, like in the food she ate and the water she drank and the clouds pegasi walked on, and different kinds of magic interacted differently with different things. There were so many little things and tricks to find and learn about, and as much time as she desired to learn about it all. Even time had magic associated with it and could be manipulated. Of course, learning about the real physics behind it and how Celestia made it happen in Equestria would be something, too, especially when she learned that two ponies in the same town could experience two different measurements of time in the same span taken from a third party perspective.
Another curious thought came to her as she went about her day to day month after month; if she was inside a computer, could Celestia read her thoughts? There wasn’t any reason she couldn’t, and it was an idea that made Candle Light wiggle in her seat as she thought about it. Sure, it wouldn’t be any different than considering whether or not God could read her thoughts, since that’s what Celestia seemed to be, even in the unicorn’s limited interaction with her. But Candle Light never talked to God, and God didn’t run a computer that gave her what was said to be unlimited resources.
There were a few little coincidences that seemed to suggest Celestia could. Sometimes Misty Rose would conveniently knock on her door when the unicorn was getting bored of reading through science books, and when she especially missed her family, the next day would be the day they appeared. Sometimes, when it seemed like Candle Light was about to run out of money for the month, there’d just so happen to be an early payment of bits in her mailbox. If those weren’t just coincidences, it was something she imagined she could take advantage of in a few ways. Even more, it made her that much more strongly wanna learn about how everything worked. Equestria was weird.
It wasn’t all science and physics and magic though. There were still many friends to make in the small town, and time to get closer to the friends she already had. Misty Rose enjoyed gardening when she wasn’t planning weddings, and clapped her hooves happily when Candle Light learned a spell to help water her plants automatically when they needed it. Careful Calling and Soft Step both liked playing chess at the library, and taught Candle Light how to play, too, so she could join them. The former, she could tell, liked the latter as more than just a friend, and the latter had a few other friends from the Outer Realm she hung out with a lot. She met a couple of them, two pegasi named Bright Sky and Agile Trace, and the former, she heard from Soft Step, had a father who emigrated to Equestria, too. 
“Yeah, I think he had cancer,” she explained one day, at around the eight month anniversary of Candle Light’s own emigration. “They brought him to Japan to emigrate a few weeks ago. I heard he lives somewhere up in the mountains around here.”
“Wow, that sounds a lot like me,” Candle Light laughed. “Except I’m not in the mountains, and I bet he didn’t turn into a mare like I did. But I’d love to meet him sometime and talk to him.” She let out a little breath, and said, “It can be a little hard feeling so far away from my kids. But I guess from their perspective, they still see me everyday.”
“Yeah,” Soft Step nodded. “I can’t imagine what that would be like. Although for the longest time, I thought you were twenty or so like me.”
“Haha, no, I think I’m forty two now, except maybe not in the real world. Hanging around you and Careful though certainly makes me feel a lot younger. I think my son brought it up once.”
They both shared a laugh, and then a look of recognition entered Soft Step’s eyes as she thought of something. “Wait a minute, you said you turned into a mare when you uploaded?” she asked. “Are you a trans mare, too? Because if so, I have to ask: what’s it like in there? Is it amazing?” She had a hopeful look in her eye, and the unicorn swished her tail a bit as she stared at Candle Light. The pink pony tilted her head in confusion.
“It’s great here in Equestria,” she explained. “Way better than the real world. But I don’t know what you mean by… wait.” Candle Light blinked as she thought about it. Did being a mare at Celestia’s recommendation count? It wasn’t something she ever thought about, and now rubbed a hoof against the ground as she did.
“It’s okay,” Soft Step assured her, waving a gentle hoof. “I’m a trans mare, too. It’s just a little hard to find other ponies like that in Equestria.”
Candle Light nodded, able to see how something like that could be. “I don’t know if I’d say I’m a trans mare, cause I’m only using the pony Celestia picked out for me,” she said, “but I guess I did used to be a guy as a human.” She glanced down at the hoof she was still rubbing against the ground, suddenly being embarrassed about the innocuous fact, and felt her cheeks become slightly warm because of it. 
“It is pretty amazing being in Equestria though,” she said quickly, trying to move past it. “I would definitely choose to be me as I am over any human in the Outer Realm. This place is amazing.” She smiled widely at Soft Step, who’s look changed from confused by her answer to a warm smile.
"Good. I'm glad," her friend smiled. "That means there's something to look forward to if I start to die."
"Mhm. It's nice here." The unicorn forced herself not to flinch at the morbid thought. She hoped emigrating to Equestria didn’t always necessarily imply being near death.
The more Candle Light thought about it though– being a mare over a stallion– the more it made sense. She'd never really been uncomfortable in the Outer Realm as a human, but maybe when she was with her wife, it was just the fact that she didn't want to be a stallion. She did think that it felt more natural being a mare, and thought so since she first got here. Except she could also honestly say if there was a stallion form she felt comfortable with, she wouldn’t be against being one.
She wasn't completely sure, but it was something to consider about choosing herself. This was the point of Celestia's choices, was it not?
She tried not to think about it too deeply. Mare or stallion, trans or not, what mattered was that she was comfortable with who she was and the things she was doing right now. What mattered more than that?
It didn't take longer than a second to remember the answer, but she didn’t bring it up.
Instead, she changed the subject and asked Soft Step about her friends, and then went dress shopping at her suggestion before she left to hang out with other ponies. Candle Light took the opportunity to meet up with some of her neighbors to start planning that barbeque she wanted to host since she first emigrated.
It was a few months later when it was held, Candle Light smirking to herself when it just so happened to be the same day her kids showed up to visit her. They seemed to have fun, although they didn't stay longer than two or three hours before they left, which she understood. Her wife was there for much longer, and laughed with her while they talked about everything. 
Crystal Clear did make a little comment that made Candle Light’s ears perk up. Just like Soft Step mentioned in passing, her wife told her that she thought she acted more like a twenty year old now. The unicorn couldn’t really see how though. She felt like she still acted roughly the same as she did before, except being a mare now. Maybe she did feel like she was more open minded, she guessed? And she knew she was never really interested in science and physics before coming here, but still. 
It was a comment that made her feel like she was getting a little distant from her wife, and reaffirmed the thought of what the most important thing was in her head. It’d be perfect if she could get her kids and wife to upload as soon as they could, and knew she should probably speak to them about it. It’d be a little difficult to have the conversation with Daphne though, since she never came around. She didn’t even know if she remembered what her daughter’s pony looked like or what its name was.
It wasn’t something she wanted to do yet though, and only made a mental note of it for now while she enjoyed the barbeque with her friends. She’d need to figure out exactly what to say for a conversation like that. She could imagine the pushback she’d get from her daughter that refused to see her and thought she wasn’t real. Candle Light almost started to tear up just thinking about it now.
Eventually, her wife left, and around that time, the barbeque transitioned into a late night hangout with some of her neighbors. Misty Rose and her family had gone home, but there were some younger ponies still around. It was a group of unicorns who looked like they were in their twenties or thirties, ones who engaged with her about science and magic in conversation while they played cards. Candle Light listened more than she spoke, wanting to catch all of what they were discussing without interruption.
One of them in particular, a stallion named Rising Ranks, described how he recently finished up time in a university where he studied magical energy and how it interacted with the physics of Equestria. It instantly caught Candle Light’s attention to hear, and in just a moment, she was already thinking about how she would want to do something like attend a university about magic. She’d only ever graduated highschool as a human, but with as much time as she had in between visits from her family, it wouldn’t be an issue at all, she imagined.
“I plan to do some more studying soon,” the stallion said, using a bright yellow hoof to brush a few strands of soft black and dark green mane from in front of his face and glasses. “There’s a lot more to Equestria than a lot of ponies think. Even for a lot of the ones who know about the Outer Realm. There’s so much a pony can do, and so many ways to use magic.”
“Haha, I bet,” Candle Light commented. “I’m actually from the Outer Realm, and I can definitely say Equestria is way cooler and much more interesting. It’s so much nicer here.”
“You’ll have to tell us about it sometime then,” Rising Ranks said. “Cause I would absolutely wanna hear about it.”
“Me, too,” somepony else said, the rest of the small group of unicorns quickly agreeing. Candle Light smiled bashfully and assured them all that she would, before leaning back in her seat and letting the conversation continue on. A university to learn about Equestria would be amazing, she thought. Her wife would be right about thinking Candle Light was acting younger if she went to a place like that. If she had all kinds of time in between her visits with her family, why not embrace the idea of being young again?
What mattered more than being happy?