//------------------------------// // Not the kind of fun I expected // Story: when slenderman left me in paradise // by Jimbob //------------------------------// [Knight] {Me} "Twilight you are a liar and a tease" she looked over at me confused "What do you mean?" "Re-shelving books is not fun!" I could be building freakin weapons of mass destruction or convincing Pinkie to go to the dark side and use her powers for evil [Hate to ruin your perfect plan there Vader but I am pretty sure Pinkie's brand of evil would just involve throwing pastries at ponies] {Muhahahaha my glorious plan!} [How would that be effective at all?] {The better question is how wouldn't it?!} A image of a war-torn battlefield with pastry covered ponies dragging themselves around popped up making me laugh "Jake you feeling okay" "Not now Twilight you're interrupting my schemes to conquer the world with pastry based weapons" she gave me a look that said 'not sure if trolling or just stupid'. [Just stupid] {Well you're inside my head so that means if I am stupid then you are to so ha!} I heard him sigh and mumble something about wishing he was possessing a dog, meh his loss. "Right so I am done now" I said as I threw a book over my shoulder "But we just finished the first shelf" "Yep you know what they say 'quit when you're ahead' and by that logic I shouldn't have even started!" I started moving towards the door "Feel free to come with me Twi I'm just going to do a bit of shopping" "Well I could use some more ink... Ok lets go" good because I need some apples and sugar and shit. We stepped outside and were assaulted by a sudden gust of wind making me shiver a bit though Twilight didn't seem bothered. [What month is it?] {Fuck if I know} "Twilight what month is it?" she looked slightly confused "Whats a month?" I felt only slightly perturbed by this I mean our world already share so much I guess it would be weird if everything was the same. "Okay what season is it?" "Oh it's the beginning of Autumn" well fuck I suppose that means winter is coming soon, I don't like the cold or the heat for that matter in fact I am a very picky person temperature wise. Maybe I should start burning things and speed global warming up..... Nah Celestia would probably get pissed that I was slowly killing the world and all that other bullshit and the that Zeus would most likely smite me or something. Twilight interrupted the barrage of ways I would most likely get smitten "So what is a month?" which lead to a very lengthy discussion of different measurements of time as used by humans, turns out we share the same number of days in a year (except they don't have leap years) but other than that they simply divide the year into the four seasons. By the time we reached the market place Twilight had a pretty good understanding of human holidays and months "Well then I guess by human time we would be close to the holiday 'Hall-o-ween'" she stressed out each little part like they were their own words and not just one big mess of a word. She continued on "But here it's known as Nightmare Night" yeah I kinda already knew that but hey whatever. Twilight looked over at one of the stalls that had a rather large selection of quills and inks. "Jake I'll be right back" she went to the stand while I made my way towards a certain orange mare wearing a Stetson. "Howdy Jake" "Hey AJ how's it going?" she shrugged "Not bad I suppose, we'll be harvesting the last of the apples soon and then cinder season begins" she said with a smile "Sounds good" I'll be honest I have been looking forward to trying the inter-dimesionally famous apple cider unless it was the same cider she had served at the party which had nowhere near enough alcohol for me to actually get drunk. Which reminds me "AJ I need to buy four barrels or sacks or whatever it is you sell apples in" "You mean a bushel" I waved her away "Let's not complicate this with fancy terms like 'bushel'" She rolled her eyes and set for bushels on the counter, while I counted out the necessary bits. "What are ya planning on doing with all these apples?" I smiled like a madman "Alcohol and lots of it!" she frowned a little "You're gonna be responsible with it right?" I thought for a second I could either A: Lie to the element of honesty or B: "See'ya AJ have a nice day!" I yelled while scooping up my apples and running down the street while the element of honesty shook her head worriedly. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX After picking up several other supplies I met Twilight back where we had originally started and we began to head back towards the library. Apparently there had been a special on quills or something which meant I was carrying several large and heavy bags. [Whipped] {Bah! I disagree with your inclinations that I have in any way been tamed!} [Sure you keep telling yourself that] {It's common courtesy for a guy to carry the ladies heavy bag especially when they lack fingers or more basically hands} [Whatever you helps you fall asleep at night] I ignored Knights prattling and concentrated more on how I would go about making myself some more weapons. I am sure you're thinking 'why could I possibly need more weapons?' the better questions is why do I lack a rocket launcher? Or any explosive based weapon like grenades. "Yeah I could really go for some grenades right about now" wait did I say that out-loud? "What's a grenade?" Yeah guess I did "Umm don't worry about it" we were already at the library I ran inside and dropped the stuff off. "See'ya tomorrow Twi" I said as I leaned down and kissed her she flushed a deep red but returned the kiss "Be on your best behavior Jake I don't want you too come back missing another arm" I gave her a mock salute as I headed towards my house, after all I had alcohol and explosives to make. [I see no possible way for this to go wrong] {Oh come on it will be fun} A/N: Sorry but I cranked this chapter out before the server switching so it is still waiting to be edited so you'll just have to deal with my crappy grammar. Also sorry for not writing as much military training takes a lot out of a guy luckily I'll have some free time on the weekends and weekday nights so hopefully I'll be able to update weekly or bi-weekly but I promise NOTHING! THANKS FOR READING!