Kung-Fu Equestria 3

by Lady Umbra


Twilight Village Last Stand

Tirek stood at the foot of the cliff leading up to the village, his blades singing as he gazed at his goal with a grin. Tirek ran towards the cliff wall before jumping and launching his blades upward. Gripping his chains, the satyr pulled himself over the ice wall and onto the wooden planks leading to the entrance.

Twilight stood ready to meet him, a small grin on her face. "Nice entrance," she noted. "Very dramatic."

Tirek’s eyes scanned the Celestial Warrior hungrily. Twilight's grin faded and she shifted her arms to make sure she was covered.

Tirek noticed her discomfort. "Get your mind out of the gutter," he said. "I'm more interested in the amount of Chi you possess. Far more than Celestia had..." He grinned and aimed his blade at the unicorn. "You must be the Celestial Warrior."

“And you... must be Lord Tirek!" Twilight mused. "The Jade Slayer, The Beast of Vengeance. Maker of Widows.”

“Yes!” Tirek shouted in glee. “Finally! Thank you! Almost makes me want to spare your life.”

"If you want to spare me," Twilight replied. "How about you spare me the chit chat."

"Fine," Tirek agreed. "I'm going to take your chi, then the chi of every..."

"You just said you were going to spare me the chit chat," Twilight pointed out.

"But..." Tirek tried to say, but Twilight cut over him again.

"Chit chat!"

"I..."

"Chit chat!"

"FINE!" Tirek yanked out the many jade pendants wrapped around his waist. He breathed life into the pendants. "ROUND THEM ALL UP!"

Spinning his blades, Tirek launched the pendants into the air. Twilight raced back to the village as the green gems landed and exploded into green mist. Mere seconds later, several Jade Zombies stood before the Celestial Warrior.

Part of Twilight knew she should feel fear, but it was overcome by her fangirl side coming out in elated joy.

“Sweet Celestia! Master Spitfire and the Wonderbolts!” Her gaze then shifted to some of the older masters. “Master Starswirl and the Six Pillars!”

Unfortunately, her joy died in her throat as Master Luna and the Furious Five appeared before her. “Oh no! It's true...” Twilight then looked toward Applejack. “AJ, you look like Sweetie just feed you her signature Crusader surprise.”

The Jade Applejack narrowed her eyes in annoyance. Meanwhile, the villagers waited for Twilight’s signal.

“Get them!” Tirek commanded.

“Here we go!” Twilight shouted as she ran into the village.

The Jade Fluttershy rushed after the Celestial Warrior, but Twilight managed to duck out of her path. The jade mare flew into the air, but as she circled around... Twilight smiled as a familiar changeling tackled the mare into the ground.

“Changelings?” Tirek chuckled as he watched the jade pegasus plummet. "Seriously?

Pharynx jumped off the mare and disappeared in a flash of green magic.

“Nice work, Pharynx,” Twilight said, jumping over her friend. “Sorry Fluttershy.”

Twilight glanced back and saw Master Capper pouncing after her. The unicorn’s magic flared, and the cat slammed hard into a barrier spell. Leaving the master stunned, Twilight ran through the village before maneuvering onto the roofs of the buildings. Twilight scanned the surroundings before spotting the changings lying in wait.

“Time to roll out guys!” Twilight called out.

As one, the changelings used their powers to turn into boulders and began rolling down the hill. The Celestial Warrior stopped halfway across one of the buildings before erecting a wall of magic which caught four of the jade masters in one place. Before any of them could do more than reel from the impact, the boulder-turned changelings collided with them and knocked them off the roof before turning back to normal. The Jade zombies glared at the changelings, but Twilight caught their attention.

“Over here, Mr. Jombie!” Twilight called out as she jumped down to the ground with the enslaved in tow.

On the ground, Twilight slid down a ramp of snow before she jumped over a large black rock which was engulfed in green fire revealing Roar-or rather a changeling copy of Roar. The Changeling rushed forward and grappled with Master Rockhoof.

Twilight smiled knowing Equestria’s Strongest Master was handled, however her smile rapidly faded as she ducked under the weapons belonging to the Twin Masters Aloe and Lotus.

However as Aloe raised her weapon to strike the unicorn, a pink ribbon wrapped around the staff before a jerk sent the weapon into the master’s sister. Both Jombies looked past the unicorn and found the queen of the Neartica hive.

“Let's dance, darlings,” the changeling queen said with a sultry smile as she pulled out a ball and chain.

“Good luck Ann,” Twilight said running past them.

“You too sweetie,” Ann gave the Celestial Warrior a smile.

The Changeling Queen turned back to the twin jade zombies and charged with her ribbon and weapon raised, wrapping her ball and chain around the legs of one of the twins and redirecting her into the other.

Back towards the frozen lake, Tirek recoiled from the attack the changeling delivered to his jade slaves.

Back in the village, Twilight continued to lead the Jombies to the various traps and ambushes she had planned and set up. However she was halted when the jade form of Master Flash Sentry grabbed the back of Twilight’s Gi.

Luckily, his grip was broken when Rainbow Dash struck the enslaved master.

“Sorry Flash!” Rainbow called out as she kicked the Jade Zombie away from Twilight.

Jade Flash and Rainbow clashed. Her fists were like lightning as her first strike connected with his chest before she delivered a swift uppercut which was followed by a roundhouse kick that knocked him off his feet. Flash moved onto the offensive as he performed a sweeping kick which Rainbow jumped over, the Jombie then unfurled his wings and released a mighty gust which almost knocked the Pegasus Master off her feet.

“Rainbow!”

Rainbow’s eyes grow wide in fear as she looks behind her and saw Flurry walk toward her and latch onto her leg.

“Flurry!” Rainbow said in a panicked tone as she lifted her leg when Flash moved to attack the filly. “Hey watch the kid, Flash!”

Despite her words the enslaved master continued to go after the Alicorn filly, Angered the Pegasus slugged her former friend across his jade face. Rainbow then blocked a fist before tossing the filly up and delivering a roundhouse which missed its mark, Flurry landed in Rainbow’s hand as Flash twisted her free arm.

Rainbow grinned as she looked at the filly. “Do it, Flurry!”

You're mean!” Flurry said, slapping Flash with her Rainbow figurine.

Flash stared in confusion, only for Rainbow's foot to collide with his face, knocking him away. Rainbow then unleashed a flurry of punches which knocked him onto the ground. Twilight smiled at the pegasus as Master Capper chased her with his ax raised high. The Celestial Warrior managed to evade the strike as the jade master was hit by a ball of condensed magic.

Capper looked up and saw countless changelings kicking the balls of magic at any and all jade zombies.

“Fire in the hole!” one changeling yelled, launching a ball of magic right down Capper's throat.

Tirek recoiled as he let out a heavy cough.

Twilight continued to move until her path was halted by a familiar leopard, Fear started to grip Twilight when she saw Master Luna jump over the leopard and towards the unicorn.

“Oh no! Master Luna!” Twilight ran away from the Jade Alicorn. “I can't hit Luna!”

Without warning a purple fist collided with Luna’s face causing the Jade Zombie to recoil and take a few steps back.

“I can.” Spike grinned as he cracked his knuckles.

“And so can I.” Shining Armor said as he carried a bo staff in his grip.

“Let your brothers handle this, Twi,” Spike said, nodding at his sister.

Twilight matched her brothers' nod as she vanished with a flash of light, but not before uttering “I love my Brothers."


The enslaved snow leopard Tai Lung began to chase after and beat down on the villagers until he stopped and gazed upon two particular Changelings. Thorax and Pharynx stood ready for the enslaved master who was getting closer to the shelter Cadance was defending.

“So this is sister’s mate?” Pharynx asked glancing at his brother.

“He is,” Thorax said, raising his fists. “Are you going to hold back?”

“Don’t know how to,” Pharynx said as he and his brother charged the jade snow leopard.

Thorax and Pharynx launched a synchronized attack, their fists and kicks aimed at Tai Lung. They moved with lightning speed, employing acrobatic flips and spins, hoping to overwhelm the master with their combined strength. However, Tai Lung dodged their blows effortlessly, his rhythmic agility allowing him to evade every strike.

Tai Lung countered with his own strikes, each blow delivered with perfect timing and precision. His strikes were a devastating combination of power and grace, as he seamlessly wove together offense and defense. Thorax and Pharynx attempted to defend themselves, but they struggled to keep up with Tai Lung's unmatched speed and technique.

As the battle raged on, it became clear that the brothers were outmatched. Tai Lung anticipated their moves, effortlessly sidestepping their attacks and countering with powerful strikes. Despite their determination, Thorax and Pharynx were gradually worn down by Tai Lung's superior skill, unable to land a significant blow.

Finally, in a climactic moment, Tai Lung capitalizes on an opening, swiftly incapacitating both Thorax and Pharynx with a brutal double uppercut. The brothers find themselves disarmed and immobilized, unable to continue the fight.

“Tai…” A voice called out which made the jade zombie freeze in his tracks.

Urtica stood before her enslaved mate with a look of shock and horror.

For a brief moment, as he gazed on his beloved, the Jade Zombie of Tai Lung exhibited a momentary glimpse of recognition. However, this fleeting occurrence was quickly overshadowed by his snarling reaction as he aggressively charged towards the changeling.

“Tai!” Urtica screamed.

Thorax and Pharynx swiftly intervened, seizing the arms of the jade zombie, effectively halting its forward momentum. In a timely manner, the young changeling queen approached, both hands gently pressing against the sides of her beloved.

"Tai Lung, my beloved," Urtica uttered, her eyes brimming with magical radiance. "This is not your true desire." Her gaze narrowed in determination. "My love, you are not a mere puppet. You are the Great Dragon, the Son of Luna, and the only one destined to be my mate."

Thorax and Pharynx struggled to maintain their grip on the formidable jade creature. It wouldn't be long before he broke free. Sensing the urgency of the situation, Urtica sealed her eyes shut, drawing close to her king, and tenderly placed her lips upon his in a heartfelt embrace.

An unsettling silence reigned as she separated from her mate. The jade creature didn't move; his gaze reflected a sense of deep familiarity.

Cautiously, Pharynx and Thorax released Tai, but he didn't attack. Gently, he cradled his queen's face and pressed his forehead against hers.

“My love,” Urtica whispered as she gripped his face.

“What’s he doing?” Pharynx asked, confused by the gesture.

“He does this to let me know he loves me,” Urtica said as she pulled away before spotting the looks of fear plastered on her brother’s faces.

As Urtica turns around, she senses the fear that grips her brother, causing tears to well up in her eyes. Overwhelmed by torment, her voice trembles as she looked past Tai... at another jade zombie. "No... Not you too?"

Approaching the group with regal grace, the previous changeling queen, Queen Chrysalis, walked towards the changelings, adorned in a majestic jade-covered form.

As she drew near, Thorax could only whisper, "Mother..." A sense of reverence and familiarity palpable in his voice.

“Children…”

All three changelings clench their heads, clearly feeling the weight of her words.

“She’s….trying to connect us to her hive mind!”

“Help… Me….”

The changelings froze when they saw the clear tears pouring from the jade zombies emotionless eyes.

“My children….Help me!” Chrysalis begged as she rushed forwards as started to fight her children, the Jade Tai Lung barely able to keep himself from joining her.

The children of the changeling queen were put on the defense, each one's emotions in conflict over another. Their defenses were poor as a result, their counter attacks were sloppy.

The jade zombie then moved to attack Urtica, but the jade claw of Tai Lung caught her by her wrist. Chrysalis slowly turned to face Tai Lung but before the former queen retaliated, the Jade Snow Leopard kicked her chest and knocked her back.

However the queen did not fall and when she recovered Tai Lung had closed the distance and used his legs to sweep Chrysalis's legs out from under her before he pinned her.

The Jade Zombie moved to kick the snow leopard off but found her legs bound by resin. Chrysalis then darted her eyes left and right as she saw her two sons binding her arms in resin. Internally, The Changeling Queen was overjoyed that she didn't have to stain her hand with her children's blood, a point she made clear when she spoke to them through her hive mind.

“Thank you…children...”

Meanwhile, Twilight teleported to a hill overlooking the frozen lake, gazing towards the village where her family continued to fight against Tirek’s jade zombies. Turning back to the Satyr in the lake, Twilight saw Tirek recoiling from each blow his slaves received, all while trying to assert control over the rogue Chrysalis and Tai Lung.

“Stop. Obey me... Enough!” Tirek growled.

“Let's finish this," Twilight said as her horn lit up.

Twilight shrouded herself in a magical mist that rendered her invisible. Twilight then made a ball of snow before rolling it down the hill. The ball rolled down and continued to grow in size as it barreled toward the satyr, Tirek soon saw the snowball before he grabbed his blades.

“Nice try,” Tirek laughed as he used his blades to split the snowball. “Did you really think I'd fall for something as foolish as that?”

"Nope."

Tirek’s eyes widened when he felt something grip his finger, whipping his head around the Satyr found Twilight clenching his finger in the Wushi-finger hold.

Twilight’s eyes shimmered with a fleeting golden glow as she delved into the depths of Tirek's heart, hoping to find a glimmer of light amidst the darkness. "I'm sorry, Tirek," Twilight spoke with determination, addressing the Jade Slayer. "I cannot rid you of this darkness within. Instead, I must banish you back to the spirit realm."

With a slight gesture, Twilight lowered her pinky, expecting her magic to take effect.

However, a moment of awkward silence followed as nothing happened. Perplexed, she raised her pinky and clenched it again, only to witness the same lack of response.

"What's going on?" Twilight stammered.

A wicked smile crept across Tirek's face, accompanied by false pain as he feigned choking. "Hold on, wait," he exclaimed, his voice dripping with deceit. "It's working!" Tirek's dramatic display seemed to mock Twilight's failed attempts. "No, no!" he screamed in mock agony before bursting into a sinister chuckle. "No, it's not. Did Celestia teach you that little trick?" Tirek taunted, wiggling his pinky. "Too bad it only works on mortals. And I..." Tirek's grip tightened as he grabbed Twilight's arm, emphasizing his point. "Am a spirit warrior."

Twilight got one chance to widen her eyes in horror before he whipped and threw her into the ground.

"Come!" Tirek bellowed, recalling his army of enslaved masters back into their pendant forms and back onto his chain.

"Children..." Chrysalis whimpered as she and Tai were yanked back to Tirek.

With a fierce roar, Tirek lunged forward, hurtling Twilight across the frigid expanse of the frozen lake. The Celestial Warrior spun and spun as she fought to maintain her balance. Tirek, ever agile, launched a powerful double kick aimed at Twilight's head, but she managed to dodge both strikes. In a swift motion, she blocked a left punch, but couldn't evade the force of Tirek's horns as they collided with her chest, tearing part of her gi. Sliding across the icy surface, Twilight struggled to regain her footing.

Undeterred, Tirek charged towards the Master, unleashing a flurry of punches — right, then left. With a display of swift and precise defense, Twilight blocked both strikes. Seizing the opportunity, she delivered a punch of her own, but Tirek deftly swept her legs out from under her. Twilight found herself hurtling towards the icy embrace of the lake, only for Tirek to seize her by the back of her gi. Grinning with malice, he flung Twilight high into the air, his foot skillfully connecting with her body, propelling her crashing towards the village gate.

“Twilight!” Spike and Shining shouted as they rushed to help their sister

“TWI!” Rainbow called out as she bolted to help her fellow master

Before long, everyone who had been engaged in battle approached the fallen master. Twilight's body was battered and bruised, her gi torn and tattered. The section covering her right arm and shoulder had been completely ripped off.

"I was mistaken," Twilight wheezed, her voice filled with fear, as she looked at the gathering crowd. "I'm sorry. Run. Run!"

Suddenly, two blades pierced the ground behind the Celestial Warrior, heralding the arrival of Tirek. With an evil grin, he snatched Celestia's pendant.

"So, Celestia, this was the one meant to stop me?" Tirek sneered, gripping one of his blades. "I will take her chi, and then I will take all of yours!"

Tirek noticed some villagers attempting to escape. He hurled his blade, creating a deadly whirlwind that blocked their path.

"And you..." Tirek laughed, relishing in the villagers' fear. "You truly believed you could banish me back to the Spirit Realm?" The Satyr then turned his attention to the battered unicorn. "You are nothing more than a foolish mortal."

Twilight paused, absorbing Tirek's words. "It only works on mortals," she whispered, slowly rising to her feet. "You're right, Tirek. I cannot send you there." The Celestial Warrior fixed a determined gaze on the jade slayer as he marched past her, ready to make her watch as he attacked her village. "But I can take you."

Leaping onto Tirek's back, she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck.

“What?!” Tirek shouted as Twilight put the Wushi Finger hold... onto herself.

“Twilight!” Rainbow shouted.

“Sister!” Spike and Shining shouted as they rushed forward.

“I love you guys,” Twilight said with a smile.

Then she lowered her pinky.

A Rainbow shockwave of chi exploded from Twilight, enveloping the Jade Slayer as well.

“Twilight!” Spike and Shining Armor shouted in unison.

“No!” Tirek bellowed as he and Twilight vanished in a rainbow glow.

Then it was over; Tirek and Twilight were gone. All that was left was a yin-yang symbol made of flower petals, sitting where Twilight and Tirek had last stood. Spike and Shining Armor approach the flower petals.

“Wha... What happened?" Shining stammered. "Where's Twilight?”

“She took Tirek away,” Rainbow said, her voice cracking with the surge of emotions she was feeling. “She saved us.”

“No…” Shining muttered before Spike spoke up

“She saved us. But who's saving her?”