As SpongeBob SquarePants and his team of crown retrievers sped off in search of King Neptune’s crown, none of them knew knew something horrible was taking place in Bikini Bottom.
At this moment, inside the Krusty Krab 2, poor Mr. Krabs stood frozen in place, retaining that same expression of fear. Above the restaurant’s front door, the bells chimed as Plankton stepped into the restaurant wickedly. “Ding-a-ling!” Plankton said, marching with an evil grin. “Hey, there, old buddy-- freeze!”
Chuckling at his own joke, Plankton sat down at the table across from Mr. Krabs. “I’d like one secret formula to go,” he told his rival, and when Mr. Krabs didn’t move, Plankton laughed. “No, no. Don’t trouble yourself, Krabs. I’ll get it.”
Plankton ran into the kitchen, practically tearing the place apart. A few minutes later, he emerged as his stubby arms gripped a little bottle, the label reading ‘SECRET FORMULA’. Plankton walked right past the Krab-cube and approached the front door. “Well, I’d like to hang around, but I’ve got Krabby Patties to make… over at the Chum Bucket!” Plankton laughed manically. “Plan Z, I love ya!”
And as he was still laughing, Plankton walked right out of the building. Inside his block of ice, a single frozen tear rolls down Mr. Krabs’ cheek before it hits the ground. Everything he worked for snatched away from him and nothing he can do…
He can only hope SpongeBob and the others retrieve that crown… and fast!
XXXXXXXX
Engines sizzled like Krabby Patties on a grill as SpongeBob and his friends continued on their way. The headlights lit up along a sign directly in front of them, which read: ‘COUNTY LINE’. “Check it out guys,” SpongeBob said. “We’re almost there; you know what that means?!”
While driving, the sponge and seastar duo started singing the Goofy Goober song, which they’ve done over and over again. “Ugh… how do you make it stop?!!!” Pipp screamed. “Normally, I would love a song and dance routine, but this is getting to be too much!”
“I have an idea!” Izzy said, grabbing a remote from out of nowhere and pushing the mute button, silencing Patrick and SpongeBob as they continously sang. “Wait…” said Hitch. “How did you do that?”
“Eh, old unicorn trick,” Izzy shrugged. “You can turn their voices back on later… right, Izzy?” Arctic asked. “Oh, sure! Of course!” Izzy said. “Let’s just sit back and enjoy the ride in the meantime.”
XXXXXXXX
Eventually, SpongeBob spied a gas station just up ahead of the county line. Past the county line, Bikini Bottom’s beautiful landscape is replaced by barren locations. SpongeBob pulls up toward the pump and hons his horn to wake up the two hick gas station attendants. One of them wore overalls with FLOYD on the pocket, while the other fellow’s name tag read LLOYD.
They gawked at the Patty Wagon and it’s driver, a little sponge wearing an aviator’s outfit for some reason. “Fill ‘er up, please,” SpongeBob requested. “What’ll it be, fellas?” Floyd asked them. “Mustard… or ketchup?!”
Floyd and Lloyd slapped their knees and crack up laughing, rocking in their chairs. “Are they laughing at us?” Patrick asked, but SpongeBob merely smiled. “No, Patrick-- they're laughing next to us.”
Floyd and Lloyd continued to laugh as they approached. “Where’re you dumb kids heading, anyway?” Floyd asked. “Kids?” Patrick said angrily. “Easy big guy,” Zipp held him back. “Don’t stoop to his level!”
“For your information, we are not kids,” SpongeBob replied, matter-of-factly. “We are men and grown ponies, and we are on our way to Shell City.”
This caused the men to stop laughing immediately, a dead serious look coming across them. “Shell City?” Floyd asked, wide-eyed. “Ain’t that the place guarded by a killer Cyclops?”
“That’s right,” Sunny explained. “We’re on an important mission to get something from there, and we need to get going.”
“Lloyd, take off your hat in respect,” Floyd said grimly. “Respect for the dead!”
They both laughed again, while the gang glared daggers at the attendants. “Hey, that’s not nice!” Arctic said in a louder tone. “Oh, quit jaw-jacking, girl!” Floyd scoffed. “You buncha dipsticks ain’t gonna last ten seconds over the county line!”
“Oh yeah?” Misty huffed. “Watch us!”
To prove him wrong, the group drove across the county line… when an armed thug, with a crowbar, stops them. “Out of the car, everyone.”
SpongeBob, Patrick and all the ponies got out of the Patty Wagon, and the thug got in, driving away in a cloud of bubbles. “How many seconds was that?” Hitch asked, and the attendants checked their watches. “Twelve.”
“In your face!” SpongeBob and Patrick cried, laughing just like the attendants did, continuing to do such as they walked into the distance. As they disappeared around the corner, Floyd looks at his friend. “They’re dead.”
XXXXXXXX
Back in Bikini Bottom, The Chum Bucket was suddenly the most popular restaurant in town!
Customers lined up around the block to get into the now new eatery. As a matter of fact, Plankton had done a brilliant job with the redecorating.
The walls had been freshly painted, the floors redone, and the furniture was brand-new. But the biggest draw of all was that the food was… delicious.
Once again, reporting on TV, Perch Perkins stands in front of the restaurant while a crowd entered the Chum Bucket. “Perch Perkins here with an incredible news flash,” Perch announced. “Plankton is selling Krabby Patties at the Chum Bucket. How is this possible? Let’s find out.”
“That’s right folks, step right up!” Plankton shouted through the bullhorn. “The Chum Bucket is serving Krabby Patties; get ‘em while they’re hot and delicious! Plenty for everybody!”
Just then, reporter Perch Perkins sauntered into the Chum Bucket and approached Plankton. “Excuse me, Plankton,” he said. “Perch Perkins, Bikini Bottom News. Can I get a minute?”
“Anything for you, Perch,” Plankton answered the reporter with a phony smile. “All of Bikini Bottom wants to know, how did you get the Krabby Patty?”
With the microphone shoved under his nose, Plankton proceeds to offer his story. “Well, Perch, before my dear friend Eugene Krabs was frozen by King Neptune,” Plankton said, wiping a phony tear. “I’m sorry. He confided in me a secret wish. ‘Sell the Krabby Patty in my absence at the Chum Bucket,’ he said. ‘Don’t let the flame die out’!”
Plankton sobbed, and Perch Perkins seemed touched. “By the way, act now and you get a free Chum Bucket helmet with every purchase!” Plankton added brightly. “Here you go, Perch.”
“Thanks,” the newsman said. “Bucket helmets for everyone!” Plankton announced, throwing helmets to all the customers before he went to the back room to regroup with Karen. “Karen, baby, I haven't felt this giddy since the day you agreed to be my wife.”
“I never agreed,” Karen replied. Plankton merely ignored her, as he continued on with his evil ways. “Evil Plan Z is working perfectly,” he said. “Nothing can stop me now!”
“Nothing except SpongeBob and his band of friends,” Karen spoke up before producing an image of them on her monitor. “My sensors indicate that they're going after the crown. If they make it back, Neptune might discover some fingerprints. Tiny fingerprints. Stubby, tiny fingerprints.”
“Evil Plan "Z" is way ahead of you, baby,” Plankton reassured. “I've already hired someone to take care of those guys. He's a vicious, cold-blooded PREDATOR!”
XXXXXXXXX
Miles away, a hitman wearing sunglasses traveled on his motorcycle down the road. Approaching the gas station near the county line, the motorcycle pulled up to the pump.
Cutting the engine to a rumble, the big scary dude, Dennis by name, spied a spot along the concrete. He removed his sunglasses, revealing another pair as he crouched down and picks up a tiny speck on the ground. “Sesame seed…”
“Hey, mister!” Lloyd hooted. “Does that hat take ten gallons?”
The gas station attendants smacked their knees and laughed. Dennis, very annoyed, stomped right up to them and tore their lips off. The two attendants looked at each other with wide eyes before falling flat on their backs.
Then, hopping back on his bike, Dennis revved up the engines and drives away in pursuit of our unsuspecting heroes.
XXXXXXXX
As dusk settled upon the ocean floor, SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star and their pony friends, old and new, trudged along rather sluggishly down the road.
They had been walking ever since crossing the county line, which by now was miles behind them. Needless to say, their stamina and resolve quickly dwindled. “Going on…” Patrick coughed. “Yeah…!” SpongeBob wheezed. “Moving on... just keep going…”
“My fins are exhausted!” Pipp panted. “And my mane is probably so frizzed, no shampoo will be able to undo it!”
“We must be close by now,” Sunny hoped. Finally, the group stopped walking after an exhausting set of hours, and SpongeBob’s eyes fell upon a billboard, partially hidden by seaweed, ahead of them. “Hey, guys! Look-- we’re doing great!” he exclaimed. “Shell City’s only five days away!”
Sure enough, a slight breeze blew the seaweed away – and the rest of the sign was uncovered. “--BY CAR?!” the twins said tiredly before they all groaned. “At this rate, we won’t even make it back to Bikini Bottom in six days,” Misty said, and this caused SpongeBob to sigh. “If only we had our car…”
“No, if only we had the Marestream,” Zipp told them. “With it, we could go so much faster than the car and be back to Bikini Bottom in minutes.”
“Guys, look!” Patrick quickly interrupted, grabbing SpongeBob by the arm. “Our car!”
Low and behold, it was indeed the Patty Wagon with the condi-bikes, parked in front of a beat-up, sunken tugboat. Music and voices seemed to come from inside the tugboat, which was called the ‘Thug Tug’.
But just as they reached the Patty Wagon, they noticed something important was missing. “The key!” SpongeBob cried. “Where do you think it is?” Patrick asked. Suddenly, a fish was kicked through one of the Thug Tug windows and landed next to SpongeBob, Patrick, and the group. The terrified fish had many broken bones, his leg barely twitches. “If I had to guess…” Tropic gulped, pointing her hoof to the window, “I'd say… in there.”
“Tropic, you and your sister stay with me or SpongeBob and Patrick,” Sunny said to the fillies as they went forward to the window. Inside, it was a disaster; thugs fighting, some of them drunk, and some just playing pool. Everything was either cracked or splintered, the dim lighting made everything look red.
They peered their eyes toward a sea of tough-looking thugs until SpongeBob spotted the very thug who stole the Patty Wagon. The ski-masked fish with the open jacket was shooting pool amongst the other fish. Hanging from his belt, Sunny spotted a gleaming spatula, the key that ran the Patty Wagon. “There it is guys. The key!” she exclaimed. “Now, how are we gonna get it?”
“I know. Walk in and ask him for it,” Patrick suggested. “WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?!”
The sound of punching and painful crying could be heard throughout the joint, as a massive brawl broke out. Everyone just sat wide-eyed and terrified as they heard the punches make contact. “Patrick, that's a terrible idea!” Hitch fussed. “Sorry.”
“I know!” SpongeBob spoke, snapping his fingers. “I’ll go in and create a distraction, and one of you can get the key.”
“Ooh! Ooh! Wait!” Patrick cried enthusiastically. “I wanna do the distraction!”
“Okay,” SpongeBob shrugged. “I guess it really doesn’t matter who does the distraction.”
“We can stay outside to look after the twins. Sunny and Misty can go in with you,” Pipp offered, and Misty and Sunny nodded, ready to exact the plan. Reminiscent of an old western movie he likely saw, Patrick puffed out his chest as he bursts through the swinging door. “Ahem! Can I have everybody's attention?” Patrick called out, which caused the music to die down and all the thugs turned to him with narrowed eyes. “I have to use the bathroom.”
Misty and Sunny, who were watching from the bathroom after sneaking inside, and the other ponies watching outside slapped their hooves against their faces. The thugs looked toward the starfish awkwardly over that request, till one of the thugs, the boat jacker himself, points toward a door by the phone booth. “It’s, uh… right over there.”
As Patrick headed that way, the thug at the pool table looked down. There was SpongeBob himself, trying to reach for the Patty Wagon key hanging from his belt. SpongeBob looked up at him for a second before scuffing along the ground. “Stupid contacts,” SpongeBob muttered, holding an imaginary contact. “Oh, there it is. I better go wash it off.”
By the time SpongeBob had gotten in there, Misty and Sunny were waiting while Patrick just got done in the stall. “Patrick!” SpongeBob cried. “You call that a distraction?!”
“Well, I had to go to the bathroom,” Patrick replied sheepishly. “Well, SpongeBob got his hands dirty for nothing,” Sunny sighed. “We need to come up with another plan.”
“And,” said Misty, “it needs to be a plan that doesn't attract too much attention to us.”
SpongeBob pumped the soap dispenser, and the top is pushed off by pressure from bubbles forming inside it. They popped out one at a time, floating all around the bathroom. “Patrick, check it out!”
“Whoa!” Patrick gasped. “Hooray! Bubble party!” the two sea-living best friends cheered. SpongeBob began squirting more bubbles, as they floated around the bathroom and ragtime music plays while they danced and popped the bubbles. “I like bubbles as much as the next pony, but is this really the right time?” Misty asked in concern. “Let 'em have a minute, Misty,” Sunny replied. “They need a minute to rejuvenate from this stress.”
As SpongeBob and Patrick giggled and lathered up, some of the bubbles started leaking through the door and into the pub. Suddenly, the music stopped when they heard a shout. “Hey! Who blew this bubble?!”
Outside the bathrooms, the bartender, Victor by name, saw a bubble floating nearby and popped the bubble with a punch. “You all know the rules!”
Soon all the patrons in the bar began reiterating the rules in unison. “All bubble-blowing babies will be beaten senseless by every able-bodied patron in the bar.”
“Right…” Victor said. “So, who blew it?!”
“Pop the bubbles! Pop them, hurry!” Misty whispered loudly, and the four of them began rapidly popping the bubbles. “So… nobody knows?” Victor asked, eyeing around. “Maybe it was…” a tough guy began to say. “SHUT UP!”
Victor hurled a chair at the guy, knocking him out cold. From outside, Hitch quickly motioned for the group to hurry, but they were caught by Victor before they could reach the door. “You! We’re on a baby hunt-- and don’t think we don’t know how to weed ‘em out. CHUCK! Get those other ones outside!”
The thug by the name of Chuck, shoved the other ponies inside, and the twins hid behind SpongeBob and Patrick, severely frightened.
“Now, everybody line up!” Victor barked. “DJ! Time for the test!”
The DJ gave a thumbs-up to Victor, bumbled behind the speaker, and played a CD. “No baby can resist singing along to this.”
Sure enough, the Goofy Goober theme song brgan to play as the gang and their friends turn to each other nervously. “SpongeBob, it’s the Goofy Goober theme song!” Tropic whined. “I know!”
The music began to play loudly, and SpongeBob and Patrick struggled desperately against the urge to sing along. As the song went on, Victor walked up and down the line to see the patron’s responses. One of the tough guys coughed and Victor rushed toward him, pointing angrily. “It was you!” he accused. “You’re the bubble-blowing baby!”
“No, no!” the thug insisted. “I only coughed; I swear!”
Victor pointed with two fingers from his eyes to the thug’s, showing that he’s watching the thug carefully. “DJ! Turn it up louder!”
The music swelled louder, filling the tug with the perfect sing-along tune. Sweat poured from SpongeBob’s head-- his foot began to tap, but he managed to step on it with his other foot. The group turned to Patrick; the poor starfish was ready to break at any time. “Don’t sing along, Patrick,” Hitch whispered. “I’m trying,” Patrick whined. “Trying so hard!”
Victor knew to immediately take advantage of SpongeBob and Patrick's concerns, proceeding to sing right in the group's ears: “I’m a Goofy Goober, yeah! You’re a Goofy Goober, yeah! We’re all Goofy Goobers, yeah!”
SpongeBob and Patrick were so close to singing, and the pups winced as their mouths opened. “Goofy, goofy, goober, goobers, yeah!”
The disc scratched, the music stopped, and someone had cracked… but it was neither SpongeBob, Patrick, nor any of the ponies… though the first two came very close. “Well, well, well…”
As Victor walked away, SpongeBob and Patrick let out a sigh of relief as Victor rushed toward twin Siamese fish. “Which one of you babies was it?” Victor questioned. “Uh… It was him!” the twins pointed at each other. “It was him! He did it! I’ve never even eaten at 'Goofy, goofy, goober, goobers, yeah'!”
The Siamese Twins covered each other’s mouth, realizing the words coming out of their mouths. “Well,” Victor said, with a nasty grin. “Looks like we got ourselves a double baby!”
The thugs surrounded the twins, cracked their knuckles, and lunged at them in unison. With everyone running around, the Siamese fish trying to escape, the pony crew aided SpongeBob, Patrick and their little seapony friends in escaping the Thug Tug, despite all the brutality of the punches, smashing glass and screams.
But once they got out to the Patty Wagon, they knew they were safe. “Man, that was a close call,” SpongeBob sighed. “Yeah, but we still didn’t get that key,” Zipp pointed out. “How are we going to get to Shell City now?”
“Guess what I got?” Patrick pulled the spatula out of nowhere. “The key! Patrick, you got it while no one was looking!” Arctic threw her forelegs around her friend. “Come on, let’s get moving!”
Nodding, they quickly dash back toward the Patty wagon and start the engine. The Goofy Goober theme song blasted out of the speaker, but Pipp threw the CD in the back seat as the Patty Wagon sped off into the night.
After a while, Sunny looked toward the twins. “Are you guys okay? You didn't get hurt back at the bar, did you?”
“No, but... I guess it did kinda get us thinking,” Tropic said. “What kind of life is it if we can't do a little living? We've been really scared our grandpa would find us since day one, and... well... I guess we let it control us. So... I think we're gonna be open to trying new things more often.”
Sunny smiled at the twins and then back at the others. “I know you guys will do great with that. Now try and get some sleep-- we still have a long way to go, and we need our rest. I just hope things in Bikini Bottom are going okay.”