-Night time: Canterlot-
Shining Armor stood in an abandoned building across from the pegasus mare and apparent changeling. Silica is what she called herself.
"You know, I'm still surprised you came alone. You're either really brave or really stupid. But then again, gotta have a certain amount of trust to make a proper deal, right Mr. Armor?"
"Captain is fine. And speaking of trust, I do believe it's a two way street."
"What'd you have in mind?"
"Would you mind showing your true form?"
"Why Captain Armor! I'm a married mare, and I'm afraid that's for my husband's eyes only!"
He simply gave her a deadpan stare.
"Fine. You guard types are never any fun."
The mare was engulfed in a bright green flame, which dissipated almost immediately, revealing the chitinous visage underneath.
The mare held a majestic pose and smug expression. "Gorgeous, I know. But do try to control yourself."
Shining rolled his eyes at the changeling. "So." He started. "Your cohort told me that your… kingdom want's to make a deal and gave me some information on a… plausible threat to Equestria. So the obvious question is: what exactly do you changelings want in return? Dartz already said you treat love as food, but this seems a little risky for a simple grocery run. So risky in fact, that you may as well have gone all the way and asked Celestia herself, something you actively avoided doing."
Silica rested her cheek on her hoof and gave him a lazy grin. "The reason we don't want Celestia knowing about us is largely between her and our leader. But what we want is our own, food abundant kingdom, far away from yours." She opened her elytra and pulled a map of the continent from it and pointed to the Frozen North.
The guard captain furrowed his brow. "A trip like that would require a large amount of food to sustain you. But nopony lives out there. Without a non-changeling population to take love from, you'll eventually starve."
Silica's grin remained. "True. That's a gamble that could get us what we want, but it's mostly a back up plan. For now, having a large amount of easily accessible love is fine."
Shining raised an eyebrow. "And if this so-called gamble happened to succeed?"
Her grin grew ever the wider. "Ever hear of the Crystal Empire?"
-The next day: Ponyville-
Kindle turned to Big Mac as he checked the underside of the wagon, parked just outside the Apple family barn. "Sooooooo… what's the damage?"
The red stallion sat beside her and wiped some dust off brow. "Well, all your wheels have cracks in 'em and the back axle's been horizontally split in half. Only thang holdin' it together is the axle holes. Ah do have some spare parts you can use though."
The dragoness huffed. "I don't suppose it'll be cheap, will it?"
"Eenope."
"Aight, how much we talkin'?"
"Bout fifty bits a wheel, forty for the axle."
"Goddamnit." If she didn't already know the kind of money that went into wagon maintenance and the fact that integrity was kind of the Apple family's thing, she'd swear he was trying to rip her off.
Away from the barn, Archer and Apple Bloom watched Dartz (unicorn form) stuff his face with apples. While non-emotion based food did nothing for him, they still tasted amazing.
Archer stared at him with a deadpan expression, before leaving to make himself and Kindle some "real food", carrying a slab of bacon he'd taken from the icebox they kept under the wagon's couch.
The Apple filly watched Dartz eat in mild interest. "Wow mister. You musta been starvin' somethin' fierce! I ain't never seen someone eat so many apples so fast, cept maybe Granny."
The disguised changeling finished his food and licked the apple juice off his lips? "Yeah, it's been a while since I've had apples. And these are the best I've ever tasted."
"And they're the best you're ever gonna taste!"
The odd duo's attention turned towards Applejack, who was perched upon Birch as he happily pulled a cart full of apples towards them.
"Hey Birch havin' fun?"
The mahogany mutt barked in contentment.
The orange apple pony tilted her hat to him. "Ah don't know how you feller's tamed a timberwolf of all things, but you've done a mighty good job of it."
"Mm."
Dartz didn't pay that much attention to her compliment. Not out of malice, but because something he didn't expect.
"What's with your eyes? If you don't mind me asking." The mare's eyes were still their iconic shade of green, but her pupils were slitted and cat-like.
Applejack didn't seem surprised by the question, but she was clearly tired of it. "Ah got 'em from my Pa'. Granny had a one off with a thestral or somethin'."
"Huh. That's pretty interesting honestly."
"Thanks." Applejack squinted at him. "Say, 'ave ah met you before?"
"I don't think so. Never been to Ponyville before now."
"Really? Coulda swore you seemed familiar."
"Huh." An awkward silence followed.
-Meanwhile-
Archer stood in front of the Apple family's stove as the delicious strips of meat sizzled over the fire, a bowl full of pancake batter clutched in his talons. As he did this, a simple song with alot of memories behind it took root in his mind.
"Bacon pancakes
Makin' bacon pancakes
Take some bacon and I put it in a pancake
Bacon Pancakes
That's what it's gonna make
Bacon Pancake!"
He poured some batter onto the bacon and took the time to bask in its pleasant scent.
"That's a mighty strange song you're singin' there."
Archer looked behind himself to see Granny Smith trot up to the counter.
"I guess it is kinda weird. But that's kinda why it stuck with me for so long."
"Can't fault ya for that. The elderly mare nodded in understanding. "Mhm. Say, sonny, you mind makin' me some?"
"Seriously? I thought ponies frowned on that sort of thing."
"When you've been 'round as long as ah 'ave, you learn to 'preciate all walks of life." She then flashed her teeth at him. "Sides, it's been too long since ah had something ah can rip my teeth into."
Archer blinked before smiling back. "I like you lady."
-Ten Minutes later-
The younger members of the Apple family stared at the consumption of meat with slight apprehension, but otherwise said nothing.
The silence was finally broken by Granny Smith. "So, what brings you younguns to Ponyville anyhow?"
Archer swallowed his food before answering. "Supply run mostly. We might stay an extra day though. And Dartz wanted to explore the Everfree."
Applejack looked aghast at the statement? "Everfree!? Why the hay would you ever wanna go there?!"
Dartz nodded. "Rumor is that there's this old, run down castle in the middle of it. Seemed like it was worth checking out."
Apple Bloom tilted her head. "Are y'all treasure hunters or somethin'?"
"On and off. Depends how bored or desperate for money we are."
Kindle took a bite from her pancakes and slid a sack of bits over to Big Mac. "Enough bits for the parts, and extra for your service to repair our wagon. If you're willing anyway."
The large stallion seemed to think for a moment before nodding. "Eeyup."
Five minutes later, Arche wiped his chin and stood up from his seat "We hate to eat and run, but we have things to do. Thanks for your hospitality."
Granny Smith grabbed him by the scruff of his neck. "Oooh no! You aren't leaving here without helping do the dishes on my watch!"
-20 Minutes later-
The trio stood outside the Everfree Forest. Kindle and Archer organized their supplies while Dartz tied a bright orange bandana around Birch's neck.
Archer adjusted his saddlebags while Kindle sorted through her backpack. "So. Got everything we need?" He asked.
She nodded. "Water. Check. Food. Check. First aid kit. Check. Rope. Check. Grappling hook. Check. Weapons. Check. Matches. Check. Dynamite. Check."
Archer blanched. "Why on earth did you bring dynamite?! Hell, where did you even get dynamite?!"
Dartz had different concerns. "Why did we bring matches? Kindle's a walking blowtorch!"
The gem eating reptile shrugged. "I always saw myself as more of a flamethrower." She turned to her avian companion. "To answer your question, that castle is old and crumbling. We might need it to clear a path. And, I got it in that old mining town we visited last month. You know the one with al-."
"The one with all the snakes, I remember." He could still feel the bites.
Dartz had run out of patience and began leading Birch into the forest. "Enough yammering, let's go!" He yelled behind him.
The griffin glared at Kindle. "We'll talk about this later."
"If it's about how high grade explosives solve problems then sure!"
-Forty Minutes later-
Kindle threw her arms up in frustration. "Ok! Where the hell are we?!"
The dark, creepy forest was eerily quiet, everything looked the same and no one had ever been brave enough to map the place out. In other words. They were lost as all hell.
Archer patted her on the back. "Don't worry about it. If I remember correctly, we just need to cross a river, then a rickety ass bridge and we'll be there, no sweat."
*CRACKA-BOOM!*
The trio looked up and gray clouds rapidly rolled across the sky, heavy rainfall accompanying them. Birch didn't mind the rain and began playfully running circles around them through the downpour.
Dartz (undisguised) smirked. "Never knew how much I really missed spontaneous weather 'til now."
Kindle glared at the sky as she positioned her wings above her head as a makeshift umbrella. "Yeah, yeah, good for you. Now let's find some shelter before this rain becomes a storm."
It took them about ten minutes to find shelter, all huddled up inside a hollowed out tree, just in time too, as the rain had intensified.
"So." Dartz started as he wrung out his cloak. "This could be goin' better."
"It's fine." Kindle sighed. "Whatever's left in that castle better worth it"
Dartz wrapped a foreleg around the dragon's shoulder."Tell ya what. When we get back, I'll help you with that ring toss you've been wanting to do."
"Thanks Darren."
After another half hour of waiting, Birch started snarling, his ear pointing straight in the air. The hapless former humans jumped into a fighting stance and pointed their weapons in the direction the mahogany hound was facing.
"Ah, shit. We gonna have a fight now?"
The leaves of the forest shook around them as a pack of six timberwolves emerged from the foliage, growling with the full intent to rip them apart.
"You guys remember how to deal with these things right?"
"Smash the magicore. Head or chest. We made one, of course we know how to unmake one, Archer."
Kindle pointed to the largest timberwolf at the front and center of the pack. "I want the big one."
Dartz flashed his teeth in a feral grin. "Your wish is my command!"
The dragoness found herself launched toward the hound by her compainion's magic while the pack leader found itself with a face full of dragon scales.
Kindle wasted no time, swung onto the back of its neck and wrapped her tail around the beast's muzzle before brutally pulling on its ears, forcing it to stand on its hind legs, causing it to fall onto its back.
The dragoness quickly lifted herself from the mud and plunged her fist right into the pack leader's chest, pulled out a glowing green orb of coagulated tree sap the size of a baseball and crushed it in her grip.
The remaining pack watched, frozen in shock as a deep green mist seeped from the remains of the head honcho's magicore before slithering into the forest like some sort of serpentine specter.
As this happened, the rain seemed to let up before stopping completely. Kindle looked skyward and grinned.
"You guys aren't gonna let me have all the fun, are ya?" Flames licked at the edge of her mouth with each syllable.
One of her opponents leaped at her with killing intent, but was immediately smashed to pieces, magicore included, via flying sledge hammer, courtesy of Dartz.
The changeling laughed, magically pulling the hammer back like a yoyo and smashing another timberwolf apart. "Course not! What'd you take us for?
The previous wolf quickly pulled itself back together, only to be stabbed in the head by Archer's glaive, shattering its magicore and causing its body to fall apart once again.
The three remaining timberwolves backed away slowly. But unfortunately for them, Birch lunged onto the closest one, ripped its magicore from its chest and crushed it in his teeth, and thus, three trails of green mist retreated to follow their leader.
Kindle turned to their remaining opponent and cracked her knuckles "Two left. Who wants dibs?"
Neither of the mahogany hounds would be having that. The enraged beasts disassembled themselves and swirled around in the air, drawing in sticks, leaves, branches and various other features of foliage into the whirlwind they'd formed. In mere seconds, the numerous debris had arranged themselves into a two headed timberwolf the size of a small house. It was… The Orthoak.
Dartz was the first to find his voice. "Kill it! Kill it! Kit it with fire!"
Kindle didn't need to be told twice. She took a huge breath and spewed a jet of intense flames at the beast.
The Orthoak, however, opened its mouths and let loose a skull shaking roar that pushed back the flames and extinguished them before they could reach their target.
The flame lizard uncovered her ears (hearing holes?) and stared open mouthed at the wooden wolf golem. "Ooooooooooooh no."
Dartz turned to Archer. "Run?"
He nodded. "RUUUUUUUN!"
-30 seconds later-
At the edge of the Everfree river, a sea serpent lounged on a rock in a spot where the sunlight broke through the leaves of the forest. Steven Magnets was quite fond of the Everfree. Sure nopony ever visits aside from Cranky, but sometimes all you need is some cool water and some peace and quiet.
Said peace and quiet was interrupted when a griffin sailed over his head and slammed into a tree on the opposite side of the river.
"Well, now. You don't see that every day."
Steven made his way over to the downed griffin and flipped him onto his back. "Are you alright my boy?! Speak to me!"
The young griffin sputtered and coughed as he snapped back to consciousness. "Ack! Ugh! Yeah! Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks Mr. uh? What's your name?"
He definitely knew who the sea serpent in front of him was, but couldn't remember his name for the life of him.
"Steven Magnets, my boy!" He punctuated his statement with a bow. "Now, what in the world happened to you?"
As if the universe itself decided to answer his question, the Orothoak came tearing through the treeline, Kindle in one of its mouths, being shaken side to side like a chew toy while Birch and Dartz were on its back, tearing away as much wood as they possibly could, which wasn't much.
"That. That's what happened."
"Well I say. You're in quite a spot of trouble."
"No more than usual. Say, you wouldn't happen to know the directions þo an old, run down castle around here, would you?"
"As a matter of fact, you're already quite close! Just keep traveling in the direction that horrid beast threw you in and you'll be there in a jiffy."
Archer spread his wings and prepped for flight. "Thanks. Now I'm gonna go save my idiots."
Steven watched him fly away and sighed. "I do love having visitors. I do hope they'll stay for tea."
-With Kindle and Dartz-
"Da-a-a-artz! H-u-u-uryuu-up! I'm gu-u-u-una hu-u-u-u-rl!"
Ethereal, green tendrils hurriedly dug and tunneled through the bark and leaves that comprised the creature's body, frantically searching for a weak point to no avail.
"I'm trying! But I can't get to its cores!"
The Orthoak soon realized that trying to penetrate Kindle's thick scales was a waste of effort and let go of her, sending her flying before shaking Dartz and Birch off its back like a pair of fleas.
As Kindle sailed through the sky, she was caught by something soft and feathery.
"I can't leave you two alone for a moment."
"Hey Archer. How was the fall?"
The griffin unceremoniously dropped her, but she quickly recovered and started flying alongside him.
"Nicer than the landing." He quipped. "Any luck setting the walking lumber yard alight?"
The two then watched a spinning ball of magic the size of a beach ball, courtesy of Dartz, directly impact the botanic behemoth in the face and the damn thing didn't even flinch.
"Even without that huge bark, there's no point trying. Wood's damp from the rain."
"Damn. Any other ideas?"
Dartz quickly flew up to them while Birch kept the Orthoak distracted.
"You guys come up with a way to beat this thing yet?" He asked. "I can't make a dent in this thing!"
Kindle took off her backpack and began rummaging through it. "Mhm. These babies right here." She'd pulled out three sticks of dynamite.
Archer raised an eyebrow. "Won't the damp wood just put out the fuses?"
"It will, but that won't be a factor. Hey Dartz, still remember that faulty enchantment spell?"
"Yeah, but everything I tried to use it on eventually ex…splo..ded." the changeling's eyes lit up in realization. "OhohohohoHOHO! THIS is gonna be a BLAST!"
Dartz grabbed the dynamite and began weaving his magic through them, the red explosives slowly turning green.
Archer nodded in approval and turned to Kindle. "Kay. While Dartz charges the dynamite, we'll get the dog ready to take his medicine."
"Right!"
The dragon and griffin both jetted down to the Orthoak and flew circles around its head while Birch was having a wild time trying to chew one of the beast's ears off.
Archer stopped for a brief landing and pulled a length of rope from his saddle bags. "Hey Kindle! Catch!"
She caught the end of the rope with little effort. "Now what?"
"Follow my lead!"
The two of them flew with the rope hanging between them like a loose powerline and managed to hook it underneath the upper jaw of the wooden amalgam, flapping their wings with all their effort to keep its mouth open as it thrashed back and forth.
"Take your time Dartz! Really- argh no rush here!"
Dartz flashed a huge, fanged grin. "Alright!" The pitch of Dartz' buzzing wing grew higher as he flew toward the fight. "Open wide fido!"
As the dynamite was thrown down the creature's gullet, full force, the group immediately scattered and got as far away from the damn thing as they could.
The following explosion was beautiful.
(End music)
-5 minutes later-
"I say, that was a jolly good show!"
Dartz (unicorn form) groaned in pain from his place on the river bank and gave Steven a mild glare. "Glad you were entertained."
Archer gave the changeling beside him a light shove and went back to picking twigs and leaves out of his plumage. "Let the old man have his fun. He hasn't had any visitors in a while."
Kindle idly sipped from a cup while scratching Birch by the ears. "Mm! What kind of tea is this?"
"Red spirit grass from the minotaur kingdom! It is to your liking, I take it."
She nodded. "Yup! I could go for seconds!"
Archer shook his head. "Sorry Kindle, but we're burning daylight. Castle, remember?"
"Oh, you're leaving? Well please, do come again! I could introduce you to my friend, Cranky!"
"We will! Probably. Come on guys."
Kindle waved as they walked deeper into the forest. "Bye Mr. Magnets!"
"Happy travels out there!"