“I’ve had these strange recollections since before I started my cult. It’s… blurry. I can't recall the dreams once I wake up, but I remembered one day when Double Diamond checked up on me, because apparently I sobbed very loudly in my sleep, and afterwards I...”
“Go on.”
“Gather all of my victims… and I’d erase their memories of the past twenty-four hours.”
“Why in Tartarus would you do that?”
“I… I’m not sure. It was a habit I had, as if a voice was screaming inside my head, and if I didn’t listen to it I’d feel… depressed. Isn’t that strange?”
“Sure is! But I’m not sure why you’re coming to me for it. I’m not a therapist, but if you let me out of my cage, I’m sure I’d be swell at it.”
“I came to you because we did some digging in your room, and we found a note of your muffin recipe in your school binder.”
“You have no value for privacy, Starlight. You’re no better than Luna. Also, they’re cupcakes, not muffins.”
“Yeah, well, I thought that recipe looked familiar, so I went to Sugar Belle and it was identical to the one that, apparently, I gave her when I indoctrinated her into my cult.”
“How do they sell?”
“Like hotcakes.”
“You’re bumming me out. Y’know, I can’t tell if it’s day or night in Tartarus. And you’ve left me in a cage too small to fly. It’s not healthy for a pegasus filly, but I know you don’t care.”
“I do care, even if you tried to banish me and all of magic to a void. Honestly, I… I might be the only one that cares.”
“Y’know, if Discord or Twilight tried to drain all of magic, you wouldn’t even have given them community service.”
“I doubt that.”
“Also, if you had failed to escape Twilight when she freed your pathetic village all those moons ago, you’d be sharing Tartarus in your very own cage. I know you’d be an awful roommate, though. Crying and begging. How is any of this fair?”
“I’m trying my best, Cozy, but it’s a bit harder to convince the Sisters. Discord took a thousand years, but I know you don’t have that long. And even then, with Discord, Twilight was reluctant. And I had to literally show her my past before she knew how to help me, but once she did, she really shows you why she’s the Princess of Friendship.”
“Sure. Of course.”
“Otherwise, maybe if Discord hadn’t eaten those reformation spells…”
“Hah! As if that'll work. My cutie mark is more powerful that a some flashy spell!”
“Cutie marks can mean different things… And anyways, we’re not exactly sure what there is to teach you. You sorta know everything there is to know about Friendship.”
“Mhm!”
“…I’ve done some research, or actually, I tried to dabble in a bit of hypnotherapy but only got a few snippets and… have you ever heard of the sitcom, ‘Love that Foal?’ It’s a bit old, but the main character looks a bit like you.”
“I’m not her. She’s dead. I’m a real filly, Ms. Glimmer… but if you have to know, I have a few episodes memorized up in here. I’d be glad if you brought me a portable TV set or anything else to do in Tartarus besides talk to a grumpy centaur or take care of your dog. Luna, you’re such a terrible pet owner!”
“It’s kinda funny…”
“What is?”
“That’s my favorite show.”
“…Golly. Okay. You’re even nuttier than I thought. This conversation is over!”
“Cozy! Wait—”
The distance between us grew as the darkness enveloped her world, and I was pulled back into a portal.
“Dost thou bear any positive developments?” Luna asked.
“She admitted to a few things but isn’t exactly ready to apologize. I mean, I didn’t ask but…”
“I wouldn’t bother. I've peered into her dreams once or twice before, until she noticed my presence. Through means I’ve yet to fully discover, she banished me from her mind. The nerve!”
“You think maybe she’ll be a bit more agreeable if you made her a cage a bit bigger or maybe leave her a book or two?”
“We sent that rogue back to whence she came! If she wishes to usurp our throne we hold the right as the defenders of Equestria and her Harmony to deal her a punishment befitting for a fallen Princess. Perhaps if maturity provides her a morsel of inhibition, we'll reevaluate our position in a century or two.”
“It’s difficult to reform somepony when you don’t even know who their mother is.”
“…You're kidding, right?”
“Wait, what?”
“Huh. I honestly expected you to break down about now, but if she never told... perhaps she does care about you… perhaps... there's a bit of good in that filly... arguable whether it's a workable amount, but—”
“What are you talking about?”
“Hm? Oh, uhm… Oh my! Seems that a cloud has wandered overhead! The astral link is severing! Ahhhh!”
“…”
“Gheaahh!” I was awoken by a blood-curdling scream, by none other than a certain magician.
“Starlight! Trixie had the most terrifying, abrupt, horrific nightmare! I dreamt that Cozy Glow had succeeded in her plans to drain all of the magic from Equestria!”
“And that I’d be floating in an endless abyss?”
“Well, of course, that too, and also Cozy would ask me to perform for her, but Trixie wouldn’t be able to use any of her real magic in her stage magic shows!”
“…You should really call your mom sometimes.”