//------------------------------// // Luna Chooses Violence. // Story: Two Ancient Nutjobs: The Tea-room Debacle // by LunarReaper //------------------------------// "Somethin is aff about eit n aye dunnae ken wit?." Lunaria Stellaris Moonglow starts with her eyes narrowed and fangs grinding uselessly together, as she untilts her head. It was always an odd sight taking in the shape of a recently rebuilt corpse, Luna likened it to seeing those strange and morbid-looking wax museums of this new age (She found them to be odd but delightful, unlike her sister). Something uncanny that she can't describe niggles at her brain as she looks on for faults in a practised fashion (they had done this before if that wasn't already obvious). It's obvious that her sister sees it too, given her narrowed gaze and the sight of her pink tongue poking out of her muzzle. Luna could almost forget that not even fifteen minutes ago that same mare was frothing at the mouth and saying the cruellest things she could think of (the vast majority of which Luna would agree with). It would be so easy to let moments like that colour their relationship but they were old (older than any still alive, other than perhaps Discord) and they both understood their real enemy. Loneliness is the crushing weight on the back of all immortals and from her own experiences and the few things her sister deigns to share she knows that understanding is shared by her kin. That doesn't mean she isn't rightfully pissed off at the mare for causing her to spiral... again. She turns to her sister and takes in her pink eyes, eyes no longer tainted by yellow and jumps as Celestia decides to finally speak. "Yeah, I think I see it too" Her brow creases and Luna watches on as the similarly ancient being beside her raises her hoof shakily before meandering over to the side Luna had been working on. "That bit there me thinks" She speaks with a note of unsureity as she points vaguely to the stallion's left cheek. Luna narrows her gaze and looks closer, there's something wrong with the way the fur sits- nay the cheekbone is at the wrong angle. Luna stifles a groan of annoyance successfully as she realises what will need to be done to fix it. Celestia for her part still seems unsure, from what her sister can gather even as her eyes make a concentrated effort to avoid her own side. Luna takes a gander at her sister's work and nearly recoils in shock. She knew her sister hadn't done this in such a long time but that... that was just ridiculous. Luna swallows that spike of anger that boils inside and points to the right-hand side of the face, she then makes a show of running her hoof down the corpse's temple. A temple that is far more squint than it should be. "Nay that bit seems a toaty bit maere pressin." Luna taps the temple and feels it shift slightly and swallows her disgust before turning to her sister. "Luk at that bloody angle, av yah gone dolahlee sister?" Celestia just shakes her head slightly in response before tilting it for a better look. Her swan-white features pale for the barest of a second as she spots it. Turning an accusing gaze towards her sister, Luna can't help but feel slightly vindicated by the failing of the normally prim and proper princess and then her sister raises her hoof. Luna watches as Celestia guides her now unshaking hoof to Luna's side of the head and flicks the ear. Something crackles and that vindication dies in Luna's heart as the two of them wince. "That bit too, I suppose" Her sister mumbles under her breath at a volume Luna easily catches before turning to face her. She meets Luna's steely gaze with a slightly embarrassed expression. The Mare that was once on the Moon feels her lip tremble, whether it be from rage or despair she does not know. "Ahh thought yah said yah did this recently?" The Conqueror of the Stars spits out with barely concealed contempt (not at her sister but at the thought of doing this all again). She watches as her sister's gaze gains an almost glassy tint as she ponders something. It's fairly easy to guess what she's thinking, the last time she did this. For Luna that was easy given her mastery of the magic of the mind (Celestia is familiar enough with it but finds it unseemly, in the privacy of her mind Luna agrees), It was a warlord from after the Crystal Empire's fall. A soldier who once served Equestria but abandoned his post. Celestia bludgeoned him to death with her hooves after a particularly raunchy comment... while Luna was still in the process of trawling the poor fucker's memories. So they rebuilt him and... wait was that the last person she worked on (there had been so many that it was easy to get the dates mixed up)? Suddenly her sister's eyes gain some sort of concentration as she squares her jaw. "It was a hundred years ago, forgive me If I am not exactly a professional at this anymore." She grumbles and she glares at the body. Luna swears she hears her mumble something about the last one being 'smaller' and from her barely coherent nattering Luna is fairly sure that it was either something with scales or a beak but like her sister the Matron of Memories isn't so sure. Celestia shakes her head and shrugs before giving her an apologetic (if slightly confused) look. "Oh Gods we're gonnae av tae start again aren't we?" Luna wails ceilingward before burying her head in her hooves and staring forlornly at the corpse. Her eyes wander across the stallion's face only to find the most horrific error her sister had made, It's hard to tear her gaze away but she manages it and instead finds her gaze drawn elsewhere. The Mare who basically invented the Escorting profession looks away from that bit as well (Luna can't help but feel proud of the stallion but that is all she will say on the matter). Her mind wanders and she titters in frustration before a click, crackle and pop draw her gaze back to her sister. "Ok let us fix our handiwork then." Her sister speaks firmly but with a slight smile, Luna wants to hit her but remains silent. "Just a matter of trial and error now." She continues before meeting the unamused gaze of the Lunar Princess. 'Fix out handiwork the phrase repeats in her head as she stares at the sister who had shared more than a millennium with her. It's as if she doesn't realise that most of the mistakes are her's, sure Luna could see that she had some too but Celestia's were far worse. Luna's were a matter of cosmetics, Celestia's were a matter of structural integrity. And from the looks of it, her sister's side of the head had the integrity of a chocolate fire guard. Luna steels her previously frayed nerves and speaks with clear agitation "Oor 'andywerk!" The Lady of the Isles accent thickens as she speaks. "Most av that side tis yer 'andywerk sister." Luna points to her sister's side, to the clearly too large eye socket... in which the eye sits on a knife edge between tumbling out. The Forever Queen of the Thestral's can feel herself growing more upset just by looking at the sight before her but stops herself before she becomes truly unintelligible. She knows that if she gets too upset she starts to mix tongues (Celestia does the same) and while she enjoyed speaking in Old Everfree/Equish she knows that eventually she'll end up speaking Kriffe (the Thestral tongue) and understands just how much confusion that usually brings. "Your side doesn't look any better." Celestia snaps back without much fervour. Luna baulks as she finds her hackles raising slightly, she mutters a few swears in kriffe under her breath before stopping and staring at her sister with a near-blank expression. By the lack of snarling response, the Princess of the Night can tell that her sister couldn't understand what she just called her but by the slightly stoney face, Luna understands that she may get the gist of what she may have just called her. That is both good and bad. Celestia had not learned Kriffe (either the modern or ancient version) in Luna's time away and from the way her face changed slightly, she still remembers Luna's time as the Queen of the Clans and the savage horde she had led across the Isles (Celestia didn't have as much fun as she did back then). "Tis noticeably neater," Luna states blankly as Celestia grunts in vague acknowledgement before lighting her horn and bringing forth the lightest cutting spell she knows before beginning the process of removing the skin. It was a task that Luna had never been enthused with and could tell her sister took some sort of strange pride in just how neatly she could remove a face. And while she would never admit it to her face Luna understood that her sister was the best in the world at this sort of thing. In the past, the Princess of the Sun had taken the Lady of the Night on hunts for serial killers and those nights were still some of the strangest in her memories to this day. Nothing is more strange than watching a full-grown mare (one covered in gore or skin) cry her eyes out after being berated for a solid hour on proper skin removal (Celestia wrote down those lectures and had them published anonymously, there still exists a little leather-bound book on her bookshelf to this day)(Luna can never bring herself to ask if the leather is pony skin). "Oh yes, Luna the Neat, truly the greatest addition to all your titles." Luna watches as a slow continuous cut lets her take the hair off in one clean go, It could almost be a wig if not for the skin... muscle... and slight gristle. A small victorious smile appears on her sister's face as... she pulls off a face. It lasts a second before it leaves her as she seems to notice a slightly ragged end. "Thine sarcasm is noted but that doesnae change the fact that yer side is in poorer shape than mine" Luna snarks back with her usual enthusiasm as she examines the now skinless skull of a butler. "Ah mean luk aht that bit, dae yah need glasses or somethin'?" She points to the too-large eye hole as she slowly fishes out both eyes from their stems with magic and places them gently to the side. Her sister snorts behind her as Luna gets to work splitting the skull again. "My spectacles are for reading I'll have you know." The tiny injections of force Luna applies to crack the skull slowly but the rate she goes makes the process quick (Luna prides herself on her ability to quickly split a skull). Luna pries the first piece loose in a minute. "You spend enough time writing laws and your eyes fail a little bit" Celestia grumbles from beside her having moved as Luna pulls the first piece of pony skull away and floats it to her. Celestia starts splitting it further (the skull pieces that is), cracking the bone and reshaping it. Fixing her mistakes. "Yah av servants fer that?" Luna queries as she floats the next piece over. "They don't do things as well as I" Celestia replies as she dislodges a small piece of skull and turns it so that the brainy bit goes inwards before re-attaching it, Luna watches from the corner of her eye. "Goodness I love them dearly but my little ponies aren't exactly the sharpest tools in the shed," Luna grunts in agreement at that statement as she passes another skull piece to her sister which is quickly plucked in a golden aura. Celestia starts to hum a jaunty jig soon after and Luna holds back a sight (she had forgotten that Tia liked to do that). "Clearly they are following yer example" It's a small jab, said with a nervous uncomfortable grin. Luna finds herself berating herself mentally as she realises what just left her mouth but finds herself relieved at the response she gets. An exaggerated haughty voice and a question follow. "Do I need to mention Yharnam sister?" Oh gods of course she would mention Yharnam. Of all her many failures this one was the one that stuck with her, she had found her race in that city (lost her virginity as well). Luna takes in her sister's expression and realises what this is. It's bait and she couldn't help but take it (it's a matter of pride really, it wasn't her fault). "That wasnae ma fault" Luna defends as she catches Celestia's derisive snort with her acute hearing. It was quiet enough that she barely even caught it but that's still enough to shoot her sister a look. A look that morphs into confusion as she sees the tooth floating in front of her face. She takes it in her magic with a sigh (she was better with teeth) and adds it to the pile before continuing with her work. "You got drunk and sad after getting rejected and released a nightmare on the city but sure you tell yourself the collapse of that civilisation wasn't your fault." Her sister's voice starts out sweet and only gets sweeter. "Whatever helps you sleep at night sister." She says as if speaking to a newborn babe. Luna tuts and as memories swarm her a single tear falls, Yarnham wouldn't be the last time she was hung out to dry by a lover. The Moon Presence holds back a beastly snarl as she pulls the final piece of the skull away and sets to work fixing the stallion's jaw with a grimace. "Well, I suppose I must mention the Sun Kingdom" Luna offers with a laugh as she remembers that part of their life. She enjoyed being sacrificed to and having an organised train run (on her) every evening was too good to pass up. She glances at her sister and watches as her jaw clenches and unclenches, obviously burying an age-old rage in a matter of seconds. "There is no way in hell I can be blamed for that one," Celestia grumbles with a pout on her golden lips as she pulls another tooth from the skull top and adds it to the pile (how the hell did she mistake teeth for skull fragment, this is just sloppy). Luna watches as her sister seems to ponder old memories, she can only imagine what unhinged rants are being directed at the denizens of Griffonia (even if the culture they are talking about is completely different). Many rants that Luna would agree with (but they were in polite company so it was better unsaid) those greedy feathered halfbreed menaces brought it on themselves in most cases and Luna was glad that they now lived in abject poverty (because fuck those damned gods forsaken mutants). And yet still even if she agreed Luna couldn't help but prod her sister. "You traded gold for beads, pissed off an advanced empire, made up a language to avoid talking to them and faked your death when it all got too hard." Celestia blinks hard in response to that, her work stops as her eye goes glassy yet again, most likely reviewing memories. She seems to find what Luna mentioned rather quickly and she has the decency to blush before putting the now fixed skull top to the side and moving on to the next large piece. Luna chokes back a laugh from the sidelines at that. "That was the gryphons' fault Luna, if they hadn't been gold-hungry savages then the Sun Kingdom would have been fine." She reasons with a hint of a smile, revelling in a victory not yet achieved. Luna doesn't take the bait this time. She sees what her sister is trying to do, she wants her to lose her train of thought. To rant and rave about those insufferable ingrates and their feckless little gods... oh gods she's doing it anyway. Luna shakes those thoughts out of her head. She has better things than ramble about poverty-stricken peons on the edge of Equestria. "You taunted them and seduced the leader of the expedition by force" Celestia goes googly-eyed at that little fact most likely having forgotten that bit. Luna couldn't remember the bird's name, all she could remember about them was they changed languages and traditions after an unfortunate run-in with Discord. Celestia extracts another tooth from the piece of skull she is working on, Luna grabs it wordlessly. "He was asking for it in our tongue." She reasons with a smile before grimacing as she seems to remember the rest of that particular moment in the Sun Kingdom's brief history. Luna can see the faint hope in her eyes, the faint hope that she wouldn't remember the damn near criminal acts that happened after. Celestia would find herself disappointed on that front, Luna remembered that particular conundrum. "A tongue you invented to confuse them, they needed two translators to talk to you properly." Celestia's grin becomes a petulant pout as she realises that Luna indeed does remember those events clearly. The Grand Overlady of the now-dead Sun Kingdom seems to be trying to remember those other languages they were translating from but can't find the energy to keep looking. Luna can't remember either but that wasn't the point. The Grand Overlady of the Marian Moon Monarchy watches as her sister stares off into space. Watches as her sister licks her lip salaciously before mumbling to herself not nearly quiet enough. "If he didn't want to die choking on pussy then he shouldn't have had such a fuckable beak" Luna openly guwaffs as she snaps a piece of bone in place and begins to check her sister's work. "A beak which you kept..." She reminds her through laughter as the two swap and Celestia begins inspecting the butler's exposed brain. Luna watches silently as her sister's eyes go glassy yet again before she shakes her head and focuses on their task. For the sake of her sanity, Luna ignores the small bit of drool that falls silently from her sister's muzzle. "What of the Underdark?" Celestia ponders aloud and grins with full teeth when Luna unconsciously releases the faintest squeak of embarrassment. Luna remembered that one perfectly the now Eternal Queen of Thestrals swallows the guilt she feels and watches her sister poke and prod at an exposed brain. Cernunnos didn't deserve the fate she had given him and if she could take it back she would but Celestia hadn't been to the Underdark, so this was a simple matter of misdirection. "It is alive and well, the king sends me letters still." Celestia nearly stops her work and turns back to her. Luna swallows nervously as she recognises the look she is getting, she can only hope that her sister's poor memory rears its ugly head again (an unkind thought for sure but it would be better than being reminded). "Please the king has been dead for over a millennia." Her sister rolls her eyes and sloshes and swaps some of the brain held tightly in her shield spell. She examines the neural pathway and nods after sending a small pulse of electricity down it (a skill her sister learned from a changeling doctor if you can believe it). "Lies and slander" It's the only thing she can think to say and she already feels dumber for it. The deadpan she gives the brain as she tests more pathways would have stopped most folks from speaking but Luna as always wasn't most folks. "It is still as vibrant as when we last visited" Celestia cringes as she seems to remember something but Luna can't fathom what it possibly was. She simply continues observing as her sister's face twists into something like pain or regret but the expression is gone so quickly that she suspects that she was just seeing things. There was something more to this but from that look, she doubted she would get anything from Celestia, she would have to do some research later when the more pressing matter was dealt with. Celestia swallows noticeably before her as her face twists again, this time irritation shows through the mask. "They have a name for you down there you know?", Celestia snorts, Luna can't help but feel the dread pool in her gut. She was fucked, Celestia had been down there since her banishment (to what end she did not know) and if she didn't know the whole story by now then Luna certainly wasn't telling her. "I have names everywhere" the Once Queen of Cariche states dismissively in a way that she hopes signals to her sister that this conversation is over. Celestia sighs and cracks her neck slightly before turning back to her with a slightly victorious grin. For it was a victory in this game of failures if Celestia knew this one outright. "They call you the Rape Queen of Cariche" There are no words to describe the well of despair that had opened up in her at that moment but she cannot show it. Cannot give her sister the satisfaction of knowing just how deeply that title cuts her. She had never heard that one and it cut all the deeper for that. "That is absurd, who calls me such things I will have their head." She responds listlessly and utterly without the accent that is in all their conversations. A fact Celestia seems to notice as she shoots her a wry grin, Luna can't help the squeak that leaves her throat at that moment. The laughter from her sister that follows is more of a bark than anything else. "Many I spoke to claim that you tied their king up and used his seed to create an army and then took his cock as a grisly little prize." The delivery is deadpan as the Solar Goddess turns her head and meets her sister's eyes with a raised brow, begging for her to lie to her now. Luna is almost tempted to lie, it's on the tip of her tongue but she can't do it. She can't avoid proving her right and the fact that her sister would insult that stallion's virility seems to grate on the youngest nerves far more than she thought possible. She birthed an entire race (above ground) because of that stallion and she would not have him insulted. She braces herself and readies a barb on her tongue. Only to flounder as she always does when forced into a social situation she can't extract herself from with her swords. "Twas not that wee- Ugh Bastard!" She screeches instead with a slight sob mixed in. She hated that memory more than anything, she was a cruel worthless tart back then and some would argue she was the same now but she and her sister knew the truth of the matter. Twilight Sparkle would never see that degree of savagery as the world currently stands, they had seen to that long ago. Either her sister doesn't see her despair (given what she's doing it is most likely) or simply doesn't care (incorrect) and whatever it is her next sentence cuts deeper than she could fathom. "Ha I knew it, you gormless degenerate." Celestia mocks with a laugh before stepping back as Luna takes her place again. She starts to recreate the muscle structure from scratch again even as she sputters and squeaks in horror and humiliation (though she would argue that she deserves it). This game of theirs was over and Luna couldn't help but feel the yoke of despair wrap around her neck again. Celestia had won with Luna's greatest failure and nothing that she could think of seemed to distract her from it. Still, she trawls her memories in search of something to make her sister feel an ounce of the horror, regret or humiliation that she currently feels. Finally, her age-old brain seems to settle on something "Marejypt and Rom, you got both of them by being a decadent eastern slut" She offers up almost lamely as if not thinking much of this one. She knew how history portrayed her sister (under a different name of course) in that particular event and knew that she hated it something fierce. "I followed the plan, not my fault Antonious wasn't quick enough" Celestia damn near roars causing Luna to blink, turn and stare at her sister. A slow blink from both parties is all the time it takes for the two to get over the little outburst and continue with... whatever the fuck they were doing. But from that small outburst, Luna had learned something fascinating, something she had never known before. She knew her sister hated that moment but she didn't realise just how much she hated that moment. The Princess of the Moon decides to press and see where it gets her, surely this can't be worse than her folly? "You fucked the two generals that killed him?" Luna half goads, half questions with an unsure tone as she watches her sister come undone by something that really shouldn't have any effect anymore but given that reaction, one could say she was curious. "They were strong goats of Rom, how could I resist?" The elder spits with venom as she forgets about the pieces of skull, the pile of teeth and the neatly folded skin and proceeds to stomp around the room(narrowly avoiding those various piles due to Luna's quick use of teleportation). She begins to ramble as the youngest watches, most of which goes straight over the Lady of Dreams head as her sister immediately changes languages. Some sound new, some sound old and some cause the blue alicorn's muzzle to crinkle in disgust. She hated the sound of that dumb picture language her sister invented. Though eventually, the rambling rant ends with, "And can you blame me I was supposed to save my burgeoning nation somehow." Luna continues with her work whilst trying to simultaneously unknot the dreaded loops of her sister's one-sided view of history. "They took you as a prize and then what did you do, Wouldst thou like to regale us of the tale sister?" She makes it sound like she already knows the answer, Luna understands that sometimes with her sister the best thing to do is just let her talk. This was old and interesting territory that her sister refused to speak of (normally). Even when they eventually reunited in the land Luna had once made her own (before some other more awkward things happened). Celestia stamps over, again narrowly missing the pile of loose... things? "I burned that pathetic little city of theirs to the ground but you must understand that they banned the use of perfume." She rambles as her eyes spark madness and fire causing the glamour she holds up constantly to sputter and partially fail, revealing the various tattoos and scars beneath. One of which is that of a rather handsome goat in centurion armour. "Those fucking filth could have smelled gorgeous but no!" Her sister snorts fire and the carpet sets alight but she doesn't seem to notice, "It wasn't what a proper goat did, for all they climbed mountains they could not see the glory and elegance it would have brought them!" The carpet fire has grown, Celestia has stepped in it twice and spread the blaze and she still hasn't noticed. "Sure they didn't smell like your lot did beyond that little wall Rom built but it's the principle of the matter." Her sister is crying now, the ugly snottery kind that makes Luna stop and sit down. She watches in silence before recognising this for what it was, absolute gold and the High Witch of the Thestrals was the only proper witness to this complete meltdown. The body is forgotten in favour of the theatrics before her. The streaking and bubbling golden eyeliner hisses violently as it is simultaneously switched between a liquid and a gas... repeatedly. The goop that was once her sister's regalia scorches the floor and seeps beneath in a burning trickle. Luna nearly laughs in those scant few moments before a whimper stops that reaction "I'm sorry Antonious" Her sister has rolled up into a ball, similar to what she had done earlier. The tears that streak down her cheeks to the floor are lava and the flooring reacts accordingly, The room is now more than a little on fire, "I didn't mean to, I would have come back." She bawls and Luna almost moves to comfort her. Almost. She didn't cry that much for her now, did she? The absolute cunt. But still, they were sisters and someone had to stop the building from burning down. Luna stands and breathes in deeply before exhaling. A heavy stream of frost pours from her maw for a second before she coughs and splutters, she glares down at her sister and gives her a kick to which she doesn't react. "You think you can hide a fart like that behind tears" She snarls after giving her another kick for good measure. The stream of frost renews with a severe amount of mouth breathing to keep it going. The fires go out and the Lunar Princess takes the moment before the lava ignites the floor again to scan the room. The drapes are fine, the floor can be scrubbed clean in most places and other than a bit of ash and blood the furniture seems fine. A dead-eyed, mouth-agape Twilight Sparkle holds her teacup in a purple aura, it has long gone cold. Mi Amore Cadenza looks almost peaceful after having fainted on the couch, the thin layer of drool beneath her will stain the couch for sure. A fact the head maid will be less than enthused by. The mare once called Selene by a warlord who couldn't pronounce her name (but fucked like a champ) watches the two for a brief moment longer before turning back to her still sobbing sister. She reaches deep inside herself, reminds herself of the history the two of them share and holds back tears as she decides what to do next. The Thestral Alicorn sits on the ground and scootches closer to the sister. Her face briefly shows discomfort causing her freckled cheeks to scrunch up as she shuffles through the molten metal of destroyed regalia. The Celestial Sisters eyes meet and the sobbing slows as her sister seems to come back to reality. Luna lowers her head towards the mare who she has lived the majority of her life with, just enough so that she can whisper in her ear. She wears the softest smile she can, one normally saved for foals. Her words flow like a gentle river when she finally speaks with her hoof resting reassuringly on her sister's tattooed shoulder. "I know this is hard and it must pain thee verily but I must say this again, if only to remind thee of our glorious past." Luna's smile seems to become even softer, a voice only ever used during dreams of death comes forth. Celestia hazards a faint smile right back as her sister draws even closer. "Decadent" "Eastern" "Slut"