//------------------------------// // Geraniums // Story: My house, My say // by Felfox //------------------------------// I knew this day would come. On the mere thought of it, I felt my stomach twist, and my heart speed up. As much as I didn't want to,I dreaded the mere thought of it. I felt it. And also because Brighty Days told us a week ago about it. The midday sun illuminated Ponyville’s market square perfectly from above, as the head of the Ponyville guard, Brighty Days, was giving a speech from the stage to the ponies assembled around it. “--And thank you all for your service; you will be forever remembered as the most efficient, and our beloved, guardsmares of Ponyville.” Brighty Days finished radiating with pride, and ended her speech by stomping on the ground, as an ovation for us, the four guardsmares lined up in a row on the stage. Soon after, the ponies who stood around the stage joined her, and the air was filled with the expression of gratitude from all of Ponyville, in the form of hundreds of hooves stomping against the stones the Ponyville market was paved with. But I wasn’t proud like Brighty Days, or happy like the ponies who stood around the stage. Quite to the contrary, I was full of anxiety. I can’t just… I can’t not be a guardsmare! I noticed Brighty Days start leaving, and so I swiftly left my row of fellow ex-guardsmares, and went backstage right behind her. “Brighty Days! Please wait!” I shouted just loud enough for her to hear me over the noise from in front of the stage. Surprised, she stopped and turned to me, “Yes? What is it?” “Please, I know we talked about this, but please, let me stay a guardsmare!” “Steady… I already told you, it’s not my decision. It’s Mayor Mare’s, and I agree with her. There is simply not enough crime in Ponyville to need to employ five guardsmares. One is just enough.” I wanted to disagree, but I just stood and looked at her pleadingly. I wanted to say I could do it for free although I didn’t want to actually do that. But what she said made perfect sense. She probably knew better. But… She noticed my troubled look and sighed, “Steady, It's okay to go a different way than your ancestors, the sooner you accept that the better.” “It’s not that! You don't understand–” “That’s enough.” She cut me off, in a calm, but stern tone. Whatever I was going to say was forever stopped in my throat. “Steady Watch, you are no longer a guardsmare.” She said firmly, “You have time for yourself now! Do what you like, and enjoy it! And you’ll see, you’ll stop thinking about your former job in no time,” her tone shifted to a warm and gentle one, completely different from before. “Brighty–” I started quietly and timidly. “Okay, somepony tell them it’s time to go. Trixie comes in in an hour and we need to prepare the stage!” I was drowned out by someone else's shouting from behind. In that time Brighty days turned around, and walked away without looking back. I made a couple nervous steps after her, but stopped after a moment. I didn't want it, but I didn't have the will to trouble and annoy her anymore. She was probably right. Maybe this was an opportunity for me to try something else? Maybe try photography? But then, I was left with only one, panic inducing thought in my mind. Mom is going to murder me. *** I walked nervously around Ponyville for several hours, made a few circles around the market, walked to  Rarity's boutique, to where Golden Oak Library was in the past, then back to the market, then to the Ponyville spa… anywhere that was far away from home. I dreaded the confrontation that I was sure awaited me there. Eventually the sun went down, the moon replaced it, and it started to get cold, so I couldn’t delay it any longer. I took a deep breath before I opened our home’s door. And entered. My mom was in the kitchen, probably making dinner for us. Her grey mane obscured her face while she chopped something on the counter. Please don’t ask about the job, please, please don’t ask about the job. “Hey Steady, I was at the market today. You didn’t tell me Brighty Days was giving a speech. I didn't go to listen because I didn't want to squeeze through the crowd, but it wasn't about you, was it?" I felt a wave of adrenaline and fear pass through me. I tried to say something, think of something, but all I could come up with was a series of grunts and nervous looks. “What?" She turned around towards me, shocked, "They fired you!?” “It’s not like that mo–” “And you let it happen?!” “What was I supposed to d–” “Fight for what’s yours!” “Well maybe it’s not what’s meant for me, mama? Brighty Days said I have time for myself now, and I can do the things I enjoy. I'll keep getting Bits from the mayor’s office until I find something else to do for a living," I said defensively. “Steady! Your great grandfather was a sheriff! His daughter, your grandma was a guardsmare! Me and your uncle were guardsponies our whole lives! It’s in your blood!” She sighed, and turned around in frustration. “You've always had a compliant nature, but sometimes you have to fight for yours! Be bold like a Manticore! Why don’t you get that? You won’t get anywhere if you keep letting go like that!" She stopped, but as I was to say something, started talking again. I didn't want to shout over her. "Like when you came home crying from highschool because that teacher told you you’re too bad at math to graduate, remember? You wanted to give up then too! But I helped you study for the test for  the entire year and you passed with ease!” “Mama, I never felt it was for me, and… Maybe that's a good thing?” This really got her furious. I looked down at the ground and bit my tongue. I shouldn't have said that “Stop, bullshitting yourself!” My mom shouted, and her voice cracked. She walked a couple metres away and looked away from me. She refused to look me in the eyes. I felt ashamed of myself, and afraid of what she would come up with to try to 'fix' my situation.  “Go to Brighty Days and get your job back, or…" she paused, considering what she was about to say. "Or pack your things!” W-what? No! "Y-you can't do that!" I was terrified, and couldn't get any more words out for a moment. Immediately tears came to my eyes. “Go!” She said louder. I started hyperventilating, and my heart started beating fast. My mom, seeing me not move, pointed at the door. “Go!” Seeing only blurred silhouettes of everything around me through the tears in my eyes and breathing heavily, I ran out through the door without closing them behind me. *** There had to be crime! At least a little! After almost half an hour of crying, I finally calmed down, and reconsidered my situation. I didn't really care about that job that much. I became a guardsmare mostly because mom prepared me for it since childhood, and I knew how much she wanted it. I wanted to make her happy, and not disappoint her. But she told me to fight for myself. And although I wasn't entirely convinced I wanted the job back, listening to her made the most sense at the moment. I don't want to have her be mad at me. And I guess she is kinda right. And also because I didn’t want to end up homeless. I don’t have anywhere else to go! I mean I could ask my friends to let me sleep at their place, Quick Gallop maybe? But I didn't want to trouble them. I walked through Ponyville at a brisk pace. If I come across a crime and stop it, Brighty Days, and Mayor mare will see that at least two guardsmares is a minimum! I would go to her personally, but what then? Just ask her again? I'd feel terribly stupid.  I have to just prove her wrong. I took off the guardsmare uniform, and carried it in my saddlebags though. I wasn’t officially the city’s guard, so I wasn’t allowed to wear it. And I have better chances of coming across a potential crime if I’m undercover. I lowered my head, and walked in the shadow of the house, which blocked the moonlight, so I could be as hidden as possible. Time to keep a low profile. “Oh, hey Steady Watch! How's retirement?” I jumped out of fear. “Who’s that?!” I asked, then looked around to see a green coated stallion with a streaked blue mane standing in the middle of the sidewalk next to me. “Oh heyyyy Lime Streaks, it’s fine,” I said slightly embarrassed, rubbing one foreleg against the other. Was I really that visible? “Everything all right? You look sad, and you… lurk… in the, um, dark…” he said tilting his head with a confused expression. “Yeah, thanks. Listen, sorry, but I have to go!” I said as I began quickly walking away “Alright, see ya!” Lime Streaks said with a smile. I quickly walked away and turned a few streets further, I stopped by a small river that flowed through Ponyville, near the bridge. The banks were overgrown with grass, and there were a few shrubs. If this was to work, I needed to properly hide. I walked into a bush, which happened to be empty inside, so I hid in it without any problems. I made two holes for my eyes by eating the leaves I had in front of my face. They were good and juicy! I always wondered why they were so gnawed all the time. Perfect! Set like that, I was ready to wait! Now it’s just a matter of time before a crime happens, and I’ll be right there to jump out of that bush and stop it! I yawned, and rested my head on my forehooves. Just a matter of time. Mom will be happy and I will have peace of mind. And I won’t be homeless. *** Ow, my back hurts! I heard the chirping of birds, and immediately looked up. It was midday. I slept through the night?! My heart quickened up, and I started breathing heavily. OH no no no no. I can’t come back home like this! I’ll have to ask Quick Gallop to let me sleep at her’s or.. or.. Calm down. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I don’t have to. I'll stumble upon something today—I've got a whole day ahead of me. Then I'll have to go back because I'll run out of money for food, but that’s later! I don't know what I'll tell my mom, but… Don’t think about it. I came out of the bush, and saw a cream coated mare with a blonde mane. She was staring straight at me, but when I looked at her, she hurriedly averted her gaze, and started walking towards the market. I narrowed my eyes. Afraid to keep eye contact? Suspicious. Wait! Yes! Suspicious! I sighed with relief, waited for the cream mare to distance herself a bit, and got to discreetly following her. I followed her to the market, which was full of stalls. Ah yeah, today is Wednesday – market day. She walked up to Toolkit’s stall. She chatted with him for a moment, and bought a… A crowbar! Number one tool of thieves! Now you’ve stepped in, missy. It made me feel even bigger relief. Now I was sure she was up to something. Yes! I followed her closer, two pony lengths behind her. Then she turned around, and glanced straight at me. When our eyes met again, she quickly hid the crowbar in her saddlebags, and quickened her step. She stopped at a flower stall, I stopped at the next one to it and listened. “Which ones do you like, miss?” Roseluck asked the cream mare. “I like the Geraniums, please.” She said confidently, and looked around, probably looking for me. “Oh, and what are you buying them for if I may ask?” “I don’t know yet”, she said, still looking around. “Well, I recommend mixing them with Pansies!” She smiled and levitated a pot of pansies on the counter, “Themy make for a beautiful combination together.” She looked straight at the counter, and nodded her head negatively “No. Two potted Geraniums please.” This surprised me, and Roseluck, but she quietly nodded and levitated the pots onto the counter, and the cream mare put them in her saddlebags, still looking around. Why didn’t she listen to Roseluck? And is she trying to hide something? Please be hiding something. I followed her further… Please buy something suspicious, please buy something suspicious. …to a paint stand. Nooooo! I twisted my face as if I had bitten into a lemon. Similar story. I stopped far enough to listen, but to not make it obvious. “White paint please. Three cans,” the Cream mare asked. “White? Oh I hope you don't use it to paint the interior, heh.” Cotton Roll said while placing the paint cans on the counter. “I was planning to; why not?” she asked. “Because white makes a house look like a hospital. I strongly suggest at least adding a shade of a different colour, I have dyes of any colour for just one bit.” “No, thank you." She levitated some bits onto the counter, and packed the paint cans. She is stubborn. But, unfortunately not a criminal. I felt a strong wave of hopelessness. I stood unmoving, and watched her pack the paint into bags with a sad look. I… Tears welled up in my eyes. Please Celestia, I don’t want to sleep in a bush again… I saw the cream mare move away from the stand, and get lost in the crowd. “Excuse me, could you get out of the way?” I hears a stallion’s voice behind me “Yes, of course, sorry.” I said sobbing, as I turned around, and got moving. *** I was wandering around Ponyville, eating a fruit skewer I had bought with the money I had on hoof. I kept looking for a crime, without much hope though, subconsciously I was also looking for a place where I could spend the night. It was late afternoon, so it was going to get dark soon. I looked at the bushes and public benches, wondering if I would be comfortable lying on them. Brighty Days was right: there is no crime in Ponyville. Maybe that’s a good thing. Even if it makes things harder for me, it's better this way. I walked down some street on the Ponyville outskirts, and noticed an old, ruined house. Somepony moved from it a long time ago, and it stayed like that, deteriorating ever since. But this time, I saw somepony walking around that house. The rusty front gate, which was always locked, was now wide open. I heard the sound of boards breaking, saw familiar flowers on its window stills. Geraniums. I quickly finished my meal, and approached the house curiously. Soon after, I saw a familiar cream coated mare, standing at the door, with a crowbar in her mouth. That's what her crowbar was for, she's renovating this house. She noticed me, and froze, looking at me cautiously. I felt really stupid, so I walked over to the fence, put my forelegs against it, and waved to the cream-coloured mare. “Hey… Sorry I followed you today… I…” She just stared at me without saying a word. “I… I thought you were gonna rob somepony with that crowbar… Sorry I feel so stupid…” Still no reaction. “I was a guardsmare until yesterday, and…” She let go of the crowbar, and let it fall on the ground with a crackling of metal striking about boards. “Hard to let go of old habits?” She raised one of her brows and smiled unsurely. “Yeah.” I said, happy that I didn’t have to explain more. She sighed, and started walking towards me. “Well, you gave me quite a scare. Not everyday you see a mare walk out of a bush and start following you around without a word.” I felt so stupid that I wished Celestia would send me into the sun “Are you homeless or what?” she asked bluntly. I felt tears starting to build in the back of my eyes, “I… You could say that.” “Oh… Do you want a job then?" She asked after seeing my reaction to the question, "Because I could use some help with the house here.” “I don–I don’t know yet.” I looked at the ground. I’ll go home, check on mom… I looked at her, “Can I go check one thing, and then come back when I’m sure?” I said and wiped my eyes. “Of course, but not later than a few hours.” She said firmly, “I stay somewhere else for the night.” “Okay.” I took my forehooves off the fence. “Oh and, one question if I may?” “Sure.” “Sorry that  eavesdropped but, Why didn’t you listen to Roseluck about the flowers, or Cotton Roll about the paint?” She thought for a moment, “Ah, the salesponies? Why didn’t I listen to the salesponies?” “Yes.” “Because it’s my house.” I looked at her confused. “Would it really be my house if I listened to everypony what I should do with it?” she asked “I-I guess not.” She just nodded. “Hey, what’s even your name, bush mare?” she asked jokingly as I was turning around to go to… my mom. “Steady Watch.” “Steady…” she repeated, “ I’m Rock Solid.” “Well I guess I’ll… See you later.” I waved to the cream mare and turned away. *** On my way back, I thought a lot about what Rock Solid said. Is it really my life, if I listen to everypony about what I should do with it? I stood in front of the house door again, trembling. I was buzzing with anxiety, desperation, but also hope, that against everything, all of it might end well.  The feelings were fighting inside me like in a boxing ring. After a long while, I finally mustered out the courage to open them. I slowly entered the house, and saw my mom talking with Brighty Days on a couch in the living room. When they saw me, mom said something to her quietly, Brighty Days got up, and started walking towards the door I entered through. “She was worried sick. It’s good that you’re back.” She said as she passed me, exited the door, and closed it behind her. I slowly entered the living room, took a chair from the dining table as I passed it, and pushed it with my forelegs to the living room, and sat on it, about two metres from the couch, where my mom sat, staring at the ground. We sat in silence for a moment. “Where have you been all this time?” she asked calmly. “I… Around.” I replied shortly after a bit of hesitation. “Did you have a place to sleep?” she asked quietly. “I managed.” She raised her head, and looked at me with tired eyes, like she didn't sleep last night. “I didn’t think you’d rather sleep outside than here,” she said, slightly surprised. “You told me to pack my things if I don’t get my job back.” “I was stupid,” she sighed, “I thought you could handle it. But you just ran away. Like a foal.” She said with barely perceptible disappointment. “I tried, mama.” She paused, and stared at me for a moment. “Did you go to Brighty Days to ask her for it?” “I didn’t wa--” “You didn’t.” Of all the feelings I felt, anxiety was winning right now. She knows. “Did you go to Mayor Mare, to at least ask her for it?” I didn’t answer. “You gave up Steady.” She said matter of factly. “I didn’t, mama.” “Why don’t you listen to your mother? Did I ever mean bad to you?” she raised her voice to the tone of loud conversation and looked into my eyes. “No, mama.” “Wouldn’t you get angry in my place?” “I… I probably would. But I didn’t give up.” “Then what did you do? What is you disappearing for a day supposed to mean?” “I tried mama, but… I became a guardsmare only because of you. I never actually wanted it myself.” “Do you know Applejack?” “The apple farmer?” “Yes.” She stood up, and looked at me from above. “Do you know who her grandma was?” I sat silent, waiting for her to answer her own question. “An apple farmer. Do you know who her parents were? Apple farmers.” “Do you know who Applejack’s brother and sister are? Apple farmers!” She started screaming. “I am not Applejack! ” I screamed with tears welling up in my eyes, “I’m no longer a seven year old foal mama! It’s my life! And it’s my decision whether I want to fight for being a guardsmare or not! Even if you kick me out!” I said firmly, but in a shaky, crying voice. I couldn’t stop it. “I wasn’t going to kick you out! I did it to make you do something about it!" "Well," I sobbed, "I'm not going to." "Then stay a nopony as you are right now!" She shouted. I got up, and not seeing well through the tears, I navigated to my room by memory to pack my things. *** The next day, I was helping Rock Solid with the house. As we ripped out the old floor in her house, and began peeling the paint off on the inside, she asked me how I got homeless, so I told her everything while we worked. As we made a break for dinner, we ate the apple pies Rock solid ordered while sitting on the lawn in front of the house. "Listen, Watch, you can help me, and I'll pay you and all, but you can't stay here for the night. You should go back to your 'mama—'" "I can't. I've never seen her so mad." "She'll understand eventually. Mothers are like that." She waved her hoof. I raised my brow, "You're giving me advice, while you never take it from others." "That I usually don't listen to them, doesn't mean I don't take them under consideration. Do whatever you want, I don't really care. But I'm not putting my hoof to breaking up a family. That plus it's stupid." She nodded at me while she said that. I put the last bite of my apple pie into my mouth. "You really think she will understand?" "Does she love you?" "Y-yeah." "Then she will." She finished off her apple pie, and got up. "Now, maybe your new dream job will be peeling the old paint off the ceiling? Because that's what's next. What's your cutie mark have to say about it?" "It's a pair of steady binoculars, so I doubt it's that, but okay, let's get to it."