//------------------------------// // Honest Apple Pt. 5 // Story: Fallout: Equestria - Lovely New Pegasus // by No one is home //------------------------------// “I can’t believe you took a contract from those…raiders!” Jackie’s disapproval cut’s me to the bone. “To be fair, the New Roaman Legion is more of an ‘evil empire’...”  I deflect for all I’m worth… which isn’t much right now.  That’s why we’re taking this job.  “This is courier life, Jackie.  We take side jobs to keep the caps coming in.  I tried to start a fight, you were there.  You have ocular sensors, and you clearly saw I wanted that weasley bastard to go off script.” “I’m your friend, sugar-cube.  And I really wanna see you as a good pony.”  Her disappointed face-screen is a kick in the gut. “The couriers have always been the go betweens for New Canterlot, and New Roam for years.”  I kick dust, because there’s not much else to kick on this stretch of road.  “We’ve always been politically neutral.  The marejave has just always been it’s own thing.  We were too far out of the way for Red Eye to care about.  The ‘Grand Pegasus Enclave’ left us alone because we don’t have enough water to waste on clouds… ironic for New Pegasus…” “Huh, that really is kinda weird now that you bring it up.”  Jackie flashes a curious face across her screen.  “There really ain’t a lot of pegasi around… given that ‘pegasus’ is right there in the name.” “Yeah, I know right?”  I happily pivot to a less awkward conversation.  “Las Pegasus was kinda an anomoly before the war.  It was a major city where a major city had no business being.  It took logistical backflips to bring enough water from the Coltorada river to keep the whole thing going.  I’ve read that it used to actually have a cloud a city that floated over the top of everything, just for tourism.  That basically stopped being a thing once the war started.” “Ah never figured you for being a history buff.”  Jackie is actually sliding me a smiley face screen shot. “Ah’m brain damaged, not ignernt!  Consarn it!”   I can’t help but bust out laughing as we trot down the road.  A lot of it is just a really all in bit of graffiti on a broken billboard.  Somepony put serious work in dodging rad scorpions to paint a frankly hilariously vulgar political cartoon involving NCR President Harper. “Are makin’ fun of the way I talk?” Jackie flashes me what I’m gonna interpret as a playful scowl. “What?  Naw!  I mean maybe a little.”  I shoulder bump the hulking securitron.  “Yeah.  Yeah I guess I am.  Actually though, your algorithm for Ministry Mare Applejack is spot on.” “Okay, see this is what creeps me out.” JAckie makes sighing sounds and flails her noodle-arms as she rolls.  “I’d done got used to the crazy, and the brain damage, but something changed in you when that little bot jacked into your pip buck.  And I ain’t sure sometimes which one of you I’m talking to.” “I am currently supplying 15.7% of total processing capacity to compensate for -TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY-.”  Sweets cheerfully proclaims things I literally don’t think I have the brain capacity to really think about right now. “Well. Okay then.”  And the moment is over and Jackie is flat facing me again.  “At least now I know.” “Look, Jackie, it’s not that bad.  She said she would stop just spraying hormones on my brain.”  I feel like this should be way easier to defend than it is. “Establishing boundaries is important in every relationship!” Luckily for me, sweets is good at words. “Okay, Sugarcube, keep in mind that this is coming from a sentient robot.”  Jackie is using those really measured tones you use when you don’t want to offend some-one, but you know you’re going to offend them.  “But you are giving a robot that you just met direct permission to override parts of your own brain.  This is literally why I have antivirus software.” “Okay, Jackie, I didn’t want to spell it out but the parts of my brain being run by a machine are basically dead.”  I’m trying to keep my dander down, but this has been a hard week at work for me.  “Or outright not there anymore.  I. Got. Shot. In. The. Head.  You were actually there.  Sweets is patching the gaps.  My update screen informs me that my condition is actually deteriorating.  I kinda already knew that.  All the radiation and scar tissue over the years finally caught up to me.  I was halfway to becomin’ a feral ghoul when ya dug me up.” “Well, there ain’t no way to know for sure you were goin’ feral...”  Jackie rolls awkwardly in place and I feel kinda bad. “The funny thing is, Jackie, I never even noticed I was ghoul for years.”  I let loose a cackle across the desert road.  “What with all the scar tissue and background radiation poisoning, I just didn’t even notice for an embarrassingly long time.  The truth, Jackie, honest apple, is that I didn’t expect to survive that roller coaster ride.  I didn’t want to, because I understood just enough to know what was coming…” “And then victory was attained through cybernetic enhancement!”  Sweets leaps to her hind hooves and makes me stumble… not chuckle.  I’m not chuckling.  “I am a good Faithfull Cybernetic Companion!” “You’re the best Sweets.” I laugh as walk walk the road to Fort Friendship.  “You’re the best…” Fort Friendship is an incredibly stupid name for a military installation.  Just gotta say that.  “You’re talking out loud again.”  I know Jackie.  I know.