//------------------------------//
// I Sold my Soul for a Nutter Butter 
// Story: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Drink Kool-Aid 
// by MacArthurite 
//------------------------------//

"You gonna get out?"

I snapped back to reality, "Huh?"

"We're at Lyra's house. Are you coming in, or are you just going to sit in the car?" Starlight asked in amusement.

It took me a moment to regain my bearings. The latter half of the school day had gone by in a blur. My mind had been so abuzz with speculations about the situation I'd found myself in, I'd gone through everything else on autopilot. Before I knew it, school was over and I was slipping in the back of Lyra's Volkswagen Beetle without so much as a second thought. 

"No chance to back out now, I guess."

"Ah, sorry," I replied, unbuckling my seatbelt and climbing out.

She followed behind me as I walked past her and over to Lyra, who was fiddling with the unusually stubborn lock on the front door. 

"Her Mom and Dad are usually home at this time of day, so you'll probably get to meet them," Starlight said. 

Memories of the last time a girl introduced me to her parents flashed through my mind. I gulped.

"Anything I should know about them in advance?" I asked.

Lyra spoke up reflexively, the majority of her focus still on the door lock, "Mom's an artist, but she also works as a middle school art teacher. She's really welcoming, so I think you'll like her. My Dad is a math professor, and he can be a little stern, but I promise that he- oh! Finally!"

The lock yielded, allowing Lyra to open the front door and usher us inside her house. The interior was messy—sort of. The floors were unobstructed by clothes or other miscellaneous objects, but the furniture and walls were littered with decorations. Ornate candles, lace curtains, and paintings of varying styles were everywhere. Yet, in spite of how cluttered it all made the house feel, closer inspection showed that every decoration was meticulously considered and placed, creating the effect of having the wildly disparate decorations somehow complement each other.

After closing the door behind us, Lyra called out, "Mom, Dad! I'm home!"

Almost immediately, two figures leaned out of adjacent doors down the hallway. The woman looked like an older version of Lyra, and wore a black beret and paint-spattered white smock. The man had black hair and light grey skin, but his eyes were just as golden as his daughter's. In contrast with his wife's messier appearance, he wore a slightly worn, but still pristine, black suit.

"Welcome home, my melody!" the woman sang as she left the room and made her way towards us. When she got to us, she planted a kiss on Lyra's cheek before sweeping Starlight into a hug. "And welcome back, Starlight!"

"Hello, Mrs. Heartstrings!" Starlight said happily as she returned the hug. 

"And who is this?" Mr. Heartstrings smiled as he approached me, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. Crap. 

Starlight grinned and threw her arm around my shoulders, "This is Jack, and he's our new friend!"

Both parents sized me up: Mr. Heartstrings with obvious suspicion, and Mrs. Heartstrings with a welcoming yet apprehensive expression. I smiled nervously.

Finally, Mr. Heartstrings turned to his daughter and gave her a meaningful look, "Are you sure?"

Lyra hesitated. After a moment of contemplation, she nodded. 

"He's a lot like me," she stated.

Mr. Heartstrings stared at me for a few tense moments before nodding stiffly.

"Take care of Lyra," he ordered.

"O-Of course," I replied. Confused as I was about what he meant, I was just glad he wasn't going to chase me out.

Mrs. Heartstrings gave me a small smile, "As long as you really are a friend to my daughter, you're always welcome here."

She then gave me a hug of my own, and I felt my face catching fire.

"T-Thank you, ma'am..."

"Alright, then! To the lair!" Starlight cut in, grabbing mine and Lyra's hands and dragging us after her. 

"I'll make dinner for everyone!" Mrs. Heartstrings called after us.

Starlight dragged us to the final door at the end of the main hall. She threw it open, revealing a set of stairs leading downwards, and brought us down to the basement. From there, she took us through another door and into what I presumed to be Lyra's bedroom.  I briefly glanced around and saw that a sort of organized chaos reigned supreme with regards to how it was decorated. Like mother like daughter, it seemed. 

After shutting the door, Starlight ran over to a podium that looked like it had once belonged to a church, pulled a gavel out from a wicker basket that was resting on a nearby window sill, and banged it against the pulpit a few times.

"This meeting of the Household of Equality and Harmony is officially open! Today, we're planning to welcome a brand new member into our ranks. Say hi to Jack, everyone!"

Lyra waved, "Hi, Jack"

"Uh, hello again," I said.

Starlight continued, "Here at HEH, we provide a safe place for our members to discuss our insights into the world around us. Whether we want to theorize about the mystical worlds that exist alongside our own, or want to expound on how to achieve true equality in our society, we accept contributions from everyone in this community. We also seek to spread the ideals of equality and make the world a better place. We accomplish this by way of local outreach and community activism!" She then gained an uncharacteristically serious expression. "But first, you need to accept formal membership."

She reached into the wicker basket and pulled out a piece of notebook paper.

"Before you can join, you must recite the group's official oath, and swear to uphold it."

She held the paper out to me. 

I hesitantly took it from her. As I read it, however, my apprehension melted away into incredulity.

"What's wrong?" Starlight asked.

I rubbed my eyes, feeling very tired all of a sudden. 

"Starlight, is this a cult?"

The girl in question bristled, "No! It's an organization that promotes love and equality!"

That confirmed it; it was a cult. I turned and gave Lyra a searching look. She simply reached into her bag and pulled out a box of Nutter Butters.

"We have snacks?" she said, holding out the peanut butter snacks as a peace offering.

Of course something like this would happen. I actually make some friends on my first day and they try to rope me into a cult. Perfect.

"...So I just have to recite this?" I asked.

"And sign your name at the bottom," said Lyra, and Starlight nodded gravely as she held out a sparkly pen for me to take.

I suppressed a sigh, took the pen, and signed my name.

...

What?

...

Of course I joined. What did you think I was going to do? So what if it was a cult? I was pretty sure it was harmless, and I could always back out if they tried to make me give a blood offering or drink poison. Plus, again, those two were my best chance at figuring out what was up with the city. It wasn't ideal, but it was necessary.

...

No, I did NOT join because I was lonely! It's easy for you to sit there and say there were other things I could've done, but you didn't go through what I did, did you? How else was I supposed to react when my world stopped making sense, my sister ditched me again, and I had nowhere else to turn? How else was I supposed to react when a couple of admittedly weird people offered to try and make things make sense? What does it matter if the first people to sincerely offer me friendship happened to be a little eccentric, huh?!

...

Ahem, a-anyway, after signing my name, I cleared my throat and recited the oath.



"I swear, in the name of [Insert chosen deity of worship], to obey the following terms to the best of my ability:





 I will give the benefit of the doubt to all viewpoints raised by members of the group.

 I will not share information discussed in the group's official meetings with outsiders unless given clearance from all other members.

 I will be best friends with the other members of HEH.

 I will not cooperate with any individuals/groups/organizations that are connected to or in cooperation with the federal government.

I will report any strange/prophetic dreams I have to the other members of the group. Addendum: In light of the Unlocked Door Incident, sensual/sexual dreams are exempt from this rule.

 I will resolve any issues I have with other members of the group in-person. I will not talk behind their backs or ghost them.

 I will bring snacks to group meetings when requested.




"Having stated my commitment before one or more witnesses, and having reaffirmed it by way of my signature, I am now a formal member of the Household of Equality and Harmony (HEH). Thank you for listening, and have a nice day."



After I finished, Starlight clapped her hands in excitement, and Lyra gave such a radiant smile that it momentarily took my breath away.

"Yay, we officially have a new member!" Starlight exclaimed as she snatched the paper from my hands and held it aloft like a trophy. She danced in place for a moment and hugged it to her chest before catching herself, clearing her throat, and putting it back in the wicker basket.

Lyra moved her bean bag closer to me and held out one of her snacks.

"Nutter Butter?" she offered.

You better bet I took that Nutter Butter. Love those things.

"Now that you've joined, let's get this show on the road!" said Starlight. "In our meetings, we always go around and share our concerns and insights. Since you've just joined, and you clearly have a lot on your mind, we'll let you start things off! So, Jack—" Starlight leaned forward and gave me an expression that I assumed was supposed to seem empathetic, but just made her look constipated.  "—tell us what's been causing you distress today."

In spite of how far I'd come, I seriously considered backing out right then. I was terrified that I'd tell them everything, and they'd laugh me out of the house. Nevertheless, I brushed my fears aside and began.

"Okay, this might sound weird, but just bear with me."

Hesitantly at first, but gaining confidence when neither of them started laughing, I told them everything. I told them about their unnatural skin and hair, about how no one else in the world had such features, and most importantly, how no one else noticed. I gradually became more animated, my barely suppressed hysteria finally bubbling out.

"-And no one notices! I'm the only one! I even Googled it in between classes; there's NO mention of anyone having organic features like yours. Then I look up this city, and pictures of you guys are plastered everywhere, and NOBODY comments on it! This whole situation makes no sense, but my sister and parents act like I'M the crazy one for noticing!"

I finished my tirade and plopped back down on the stool I'd commandeered, emotionally exhausted by the experience. I felt relieved to finally get all that off my chest, but the continued silence turned my relief to dread. I slowly looked up, scared that they would be looking at me with the same expression of annoyed contempt I'd seen on my sister's face earlier that morning. Luckily, my fears proved to be unfounded. Starlight was lost in thought, rubbing her chin as she processed everything I'd said. Lyra, on the other hand, was literally at the edge of her seat.

"Anything else?" Lyra asked, vibrating with excitement.

"Uh... not that I can think of. I've only been here for a day."

"And you haven't had any strange dreams lately?" Lyra asked the instant I finished. 

I thought back on my most recent dream. It had consisted of getting to my new school and immediately acing a test, causing my sister to break down in tears since she'd bombed hers. Then I was approached by Alicia, my old middle school crush, who publicly declared her love for me. It concluded with the whole class cheering and slapping me on the back as Alicia started feeding me soft-serve ice cream.

I decided my dream was not what Lyra was looking for, and shook my head.

"Hmm..." Lyra stood up and started pacing. "Your experience sounds like it could certainly be related to the Equine realm, but the lack of dreams seems to poke a hole in that theory. And if it is related, then why haven't I noticed..?" She squeed, "Oh, this is so exciting!"

I hesitantly interrupted her musings, "Equine realm? Does that have something to do with what you mentioned about horses earlier?"

Lyra's infectious excitement melted away in an instant, and she reverted to a bundle of nerves.

"Ah, w-well, you see...um...I...well..."

I was about to ask if she was okay when Starlight beat me to the punch. She snapped out of her reverie, strode over to Lyra, and grabbed her shoulder. 

"It'll be okay, Ly," Starlight cooed. "Jack is a friend now. You can trust him. If he breaks that trust, your parents and I will make sure no one finds the body."

I wisely decided to remain silent.

Lyra bit her lip, took a few deep breaths, glanced over at me, shuddered, took a few more deep breaths, and then began.

"I don't know exactly when it started. All I know is that I've been having odd dreams for as long as I can remember. Odd dreams of another world that lives alongside us, one that both is and isn't present here on Earth. And they weren't just odd, they were consistent. I didn't have them every night, but when I did have them, they all took place in the same setting and had the same themes. Growing up, I thought this was normal. Sure, the other kids would sometimes look at me funny when I talked about my dreams, but no one ever made fun of me at first. I guess everyone thought I just had an active imagination, and for most of my life, that's what I thought too. I just went on with my life, made friends, and occasionally wrote music that was inspired by the weird dreams I sometimes had.

"Two years ago, that changed. My dreams used to be vague, but one night, it all became so much more vivid. I dreamt of the Moon defeating the Sun and conquering the world; all the while, scores of its inhabitants cowered in fear. But then, when all hope seemed lost, a great light burned away the darkness and brought back the Sun. Before I woke up, I saw the inhabitants of the world jumping for joy, and saw that they were mythical creatures of all kinds. Unicorns, Pegasi, you name it.

"I kept having the vivid dreams after that, and I learned so much about the world I'd always assumed to be the product of my imagination. I saw entire civilizations built around magic and ruled over by two immortal star spirits. The dreams kept coming in even greater frequencies, and now it's nearly the only thing I ever see when I sleep. Slowly, I began to realize that these weren't just dreams: they were a window into another world!"

Lyra paused, taking a wary glance at me. She was heartened at my lack of scorn and/or amusement, and continued her tale.

"No one believes me, and a lot of people didn't want to hear about my theories, but that hasn't stopped my research! I don't know a lot of specifics, but Starlight has given me a space to voice my thoughts. And now I have you: living proof that I'm not crazy!" Lyra burst into joyous and obviously-not-crazy-sounding laughter.

As she reveled in her perceived victory, I processed everything I'd been told. I didn't know exactly what to think at first; how do you respond to that kind of information? If I hadn't wound up in a town full of pastel people and had an existential crisis that morning, I'd probably have tried to come up with the most tactful way to tell her to seek professional help. Luckily, my first day in Canterlot had opened my mind to the prospect of supernatural shit being afoot, so I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt. Besides, even if I didn't buy her magical horse world theory, it was entirely possible that Lyra's dreams had at least a grain of truth in them.

Understatement of the century right there, but I'm getting ahead of myself.

"Ahem!"

Starlight's conspicuously loud throat clearing brought me back to reality. Lyra had finished her totally sane-sounding laughter, and was nervously waiting for me to say something. I realized that I needed to dispel any fear of rejection she was feeling before she became discouraged. My mind moved at superhuman speeds, calculating the most reassuring phrases I could use, while also ensuring I didn't stick my foot in my mouth. I had no intention of repeating the debacle with my sister that morning. I was going to dispel Lyra's fears in a decisive, clear, and sophisticated manner.

"Your dreams sound cool. Please be my friend."

Nailed it.

Lyra squeed and wrapped me in a vice grip (that's not an exaggeration, that girl is WAY stronger than she has any right to be). I silently pled for Starlight to help me, but she joined the hug, pushing my poor spine to the breaking point. Fortunately for my back, both of them let go before they could send me to an early grave.

"This is the best day ever!" Lyra squealed.

"I know! We've made a new fr- acquired a new member, and he hasn't run away screaming!" Starlight gushed, then gasped. "And now that you two have talked, it's my turn!"

"Your turn?" I asked.

"Mhm!" Starlight rushed over the wicker basket and rifled through it. "Now that you and Lyra have shared your experiences and worldviews, I get to do the same. I may not have problems as deep as you two, but I do have passions of my own! Political passions!"

I'd been smiling, but my expression froze upon the utterance of the dreaded p-word.

Starlight finally pulled out a red book and rushed over to me, shoving it in my face. Written in gold lettering, the book's cover read Economic Problems of Socialism in the USSR by Joseph Stalin. 

"Tell me, Jack: what do you think is the ideal way to safeguard the workers' revolution from counter-revolutionaries and revisionists?"

I stared at Starlight's expression of childlike glee, feeling the sort of sinking disappointment I hadn't felt since I learned the Easter Bunny wasn't real.

"Uh, I don't know," I muttered.

"Right?! It's such a difficult question with so many potential answers! Personally, I favor semi-frequent party purges, but..."

I tried my best to follow Starlight's train of thought for a bit, but that girl can talk faster than an auctioneer when she gets riled up. I threw in the towel after half a minute and turned my attention to the room's other inhabitant.

"Are you also a communist?" I asked.

Lyra shook her head, "No, although I'm sure Starlight would prefer that."

I relaxed. It was good to hear that my new friends wouldn't be both cultists AND extremists.

"So, what are you?" 

Lyra smiled, "I'm a monarchist!"

I blinked, "...So, you're an Anglophile?"

Lyra giggled cutely, "No, silly! I believe the monarch should be invested with autocratic powers, and ought to be supported by an influential class of aristocrats! The parliament should only serve an advisory role, but ideally, it wouldn't exist in the first place."

I felt my exhaustion, which had faded over the course of the evening, come back with a vengeance.

Starlight pulled Lyra into a side hug and gave me a smile that, while genuine, looked a little cracked at the edges.

"Lyra may have a few backwards ideas, but I'm sure she'll come around eventually!"

Lyra scoffed playfully, "As if I'll ever buy into your utopian gobbledygook."

I watched as the two of them got into a friendly debate over the merits of central planning vs. feudalism, wondering for what was probably the fifth time that day whether I'd made a terrible mistake. Thankfully, the passage of time would prove my fears unfounded. Starlight and Lyra care about each other too much to argue with any real venom, so their debates never got out of hand. Plus, after I joined, they had a sensible voice to balance out their more extreme positions.

...

Huh? My political stance? I'm an anarcho-capitalist, why?

...

What?

...

Alright then, keep your secrets. Anyway, after about five minutes of spirited debate, they were interrupted by the sound of the stairway door opening.

"Kids! Dinner's ready! Come and eat before the food gets cold!" Mrs. Heartstrings called out.

Starlight sighed, "Well, I guess we'll have to wait to finish this discussion till later. C'mon, Jack, Mrs. Heartstrings hates it when we let her food get cold."

Starlight started to make her way up the stairs, but was cut off when Lyra grabbed me by the hand and dragged me upstairs in a dead sprint. 

"Hey!" 

Lyra giggled, and I couldn't help but crack a smile myself. Right then, seeing the joy in Lyra's eyes, and looking back to see Starlight's expression of mirth-laced annoyance, I decided that I hadn't made a mistake befriending these two after all. I still stand by that decision today. In spite of everything those two put me through, I wouldn't trade my time with them for the world. Right then, as I tried not to trip on the last couple stairs, I committed to seeing this new friendship through to the end, whatever that end may be. 

It was a good thing I did so, because the first major challenge to our friendship reared its ugly head less than an hour later.