//------------------------------// // Chapter 4: Catching up to history. // Story: Sky Pirate Pip and the Dreaded Dreadnaught Die Großartige und Mächtige Trixieburg // by alt-tap //------------------------------// Chapter 4: Catching up to history. With a flash and a snap the serene halls of the Flattern Schüchtern were set abuzz with arcs of electricity and magic at the arrival of the Grand Admiral of the Equestrian Royal Air Navy, Twilight Sparkle. The gilded phoenix over sun of the R.A.N. adorned the right shoulder of her royal blue dress uniform. Opposing it on the left was a polished silver ring, the crest of the Lunar Inquisition. Her visor cap proudly displayed a silver star encircled by an olive wreath, signifying peacetime and Equestrian unity. “Eee!” Fluttershy squeaked, diving behind a nearby potted plant before realizing what had just happened. “Oh, hello, Twilight!” she exclaimed, less quietly than usual, emerging from behind the plant and trotting over to greet her old friend, “how have you been?” “Hi, Fluttershy,” Twilight Sparkle replied with a hug as the magic haze of teleportation faded from the air, “I've been well, how are you?” “Oh you know, busy,” Fluttershy said as they began to walk down the hall towards the observation deck. “Our resupply should be arriving soon, so we’ve been doing a full inventory. Its hard work but it's worth it, for the patients.” Through the window, the Zwielicht Funkeln, flagship of the R.A.N., sat in the air. Two purple, dreadnought sized envelopes, emblazoned with Twilight's starburst cutie mark, held a floating fortress between them. Bristling with guns and topped with a flight deck the size of a small town. It was an awe inspiring sight. “Ya, I know what you mean,” Twilight agreed, rolling her head in mock exasperation. “Back when Spike was learning to control his size we couldn’t let him inside the ship, so I had to organize the library by myself. It took days.” Fluttershy giggled at Twilight's display. After all the unfortunate things she saw as a doctor it was wonderful to talk to somepony who was happy and just have a good time. Though she wished so badly she could find a way to bring all five of her best friends back together again, even if only for a day. They continued to walk through the halls chatting idly until they came to the uppermost portion of the ship, the atrium. The artificial sun blazed in its suspended armature, ever so slowly traversing the distant ceiling above on a pair of guide rails. The sound of birds and wildlife filtered out from the forest that filled the aft third of the indoor park. A phoenix flew out of the trees, landed on a bench near the conversing ponies and chirped. “Hi, Pewee,” Twilight responded excitedly. “Spike is out on the ship, you should go see him. He misses you.” Pewee chirped joyfully and gave Twilight a quick nuzzle before flying off to see his surrogate father. “Um, Twilight,” Fluttershy began cautiously. “Yes, Fluttershy?” Twilight encouraged, giving her friend a concerned look. “Have you, um, heard from R-Rarity recently?” Fluttershy was keenly aware of Twilight and Rarity's falling out, but to her the only thing more painful than losing a loved one was being on bad terms with one. She couldn't just stand by and watch anymore. “Fluttershy, I...” Twilight stuttered, choking on bitter memories. Tiny arcs of energy rippled across her body, a portion of her aura escaping her grip. “You know how things are, I just... I-I have to...” “I know Twilight, I know. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything. I'm so sorry.” Fluttershy pulled Twilight into a hug, not even flinching at the static permeating the air as she stroked her mane. “Everything will workout someday, I know it will.” Twilight sank into the embrace and wept. “What am I supposed to do, Fluttershy?” she whispered, holding her friend close. “What can I do?” She sniffed and buried her face under a yellow wing. Fluttershy didn't reply at first. She just silently cradled her friend, blocking out Twilight's world with her wing and brushing her mane with a hoof. At last, she spoke. “I can't tell you what you should do, Twilight,” she whispered, “but if it were me, I would go find Rarity and tell her that I still love her, and say I'm sorry. I know she will forgive you. All you have to do is try.” Many of the animals in the forest stopped to watch the scene unfolding before them. Some approached the ponies, hoping to somehow be of help. Among the onlookers, an elderly, wrinkled, white rabbit, far beyond what should have been his time, watched closely. Years untold echoed in his eyes and he smiled. She always knows just what to say, doesn't she. ******* “So, Sweetie Belle, how has that Captain Pipsqueak been treating you?” Rarity asked her sister between sips of tea as they lounged in her ludicrously opulent private quarters. “He hasn't tried anything too... forward has he?” She raised a playful eyebrow. “Ha ha, no. He's a perfect gentlecolt,” Sweetie ably dodged, shifting her weight on the large couch, likely acquired in some foreign country that Apple Bloom would never be able to pronounce the name of, and taking a sip of her own tea. “Mm, this tea is lovely. It reminds me a bit of Zecora's,” she commented, taking a moment to inhale the steam rising from her cup. “I had it at Twilight's during magick class a few times.” A smile came to her face at the precious moment she was sharing with her beloved older sister. “Ah, I do so miss those days,” Rarity cooed, relaxing into her favorite chaise longue. A faint, metallic click went ignored. “Why, I remember when we first met that mysterious zebra. Did I ever tell you that story, Sweetie?” “Only about a hundred times, sis,” Sweetie joked, levitating a tea cookie to her mouth and shifting her forelegs. “By the way,” she continued, taking a bite of cookie. “Would you mind helping me with something? Just, like, some advice.” “Oh?” Rarity's eyes almost glowed with interest as she sipped her tea. “Has somepony caught my dear sister's eye?” “Yes,” Sweetie replied hesitantly. “It's Mister Pipsqueak, isn't it?” Rarity said, more as a statement then a question. Sweetie tried, and failed, to hide her blush behind her teacup and shrunk into the couch a bit. “Ya... You don’t get to steal this one Rarity. I really like him.” “Very well, Sweetie Belle,” Rarity said, feigning disappointment with a dramatic toss of her mane. “So, what sort of advice were you seeking?” “That rhymed,” Sweetie giggled from behind her teacup. “What?” Rarity said, aborting a sip of tea. “Never mind,” Sweetie continued, returning to a more upright position and shifting her forelegs again. “I want to move my relationship with Pip forward, but I'm not really sure what would be the best way to go about it.” “Ah, well.” Rarity put hoof to chin in thought. “I suppose the first things I need to know are: how far do you want your relationship to to go and what kind of stallion is he?” she questioned, looking at Sweetie Belle curiously. “What sorts of things does he like?” ******* Ditzy's mother senses had been tingling for nearly twenty minutes now. The confusing, three dimensional labyrinth of the Regenbogen Flitzen's engineering bay had been leading her in circles for most of that time, but somepony was down there who needed a mother, and by Celestia's semi-redundant desk lamp they were going to get one. Rounding a corner between some pipes and a big boxy thing the source of her worry became apparent. Apple Bloom lay, mostly buried, in a large pile of pillows, holding a hoof-stitched, orange pegasus doll close to her chest with a foreleg. Quiet sobbing crept out between cushions. “Apple Bloom? Honey, are you alright?” A lifetime of practice comforting young ponies echoed in her words. “Ah'm okay, Ditzy. Don't worry bout me. Ah'll be okay.” The pain in her voice could have cut glass. “I won't tell anypony, I promise.” Ditzy walked over to the pillow pile and put a hoof around where she guessed Apple Bloom's shoulder should be. “Tell momma Ditzy what's wrong.” For a moment, Apple Bloom could almost imagine it was her big sister standing there, giving those comforting words. “Ah'm scared, Ditzy Doo,” she finally managed, her head emerging from the pillows. Her eyes were bloodshot and the fur around them was matted with tears. The poor lighting didn't help matters, casting shadows that played off of every slight thing, making her look weathered far beyond her age. “Ah know Scoot's gonna be okay, ah can feel it, but ah just can't stop worryin about it.” The emphatic outpouring came like a tidal wave, surging out through her tears and her words, and ending in Ditzy's waiting forelegs. “Shh, it's gonna be okay,” Ditzy whispered, stroking Apple Bloom's raggedy mane. “Everything's gonna be okay, you'll see.” ******* “Okay, is that everything...” The bridge was quiet and dark. Pip walked from console to console, cross checking the docking data. It felt a bit strange, not having Sweetie Belle around for the first time in over half a year, but he knew she was safe so he could still feel mostly at ease. The Regenbogen Flitzen was safely hidden in the Seltenheit's internal dry dock. Status indicators that normally shone soft lavender and pink slowly shifted to a sparkling ice blue as the magic flowed from the other ship through the power umbilical. “Docking clamps are good... Power is flowing fine... I don’t have to worry about security in here... Okay! Let's go have that talk with Dinky.” Pip set off down the hallway, glad to have something going fairly well for once, save for Dinky's little transgression. The ship was quiet, unusually quiet, peaceful even. The loudest sound was his hoofsteps. For most ponies that would have been relaxing, but Pip had spent so much of his life on airships that, to him, quiet usually meant something was broken. He stepped off the platform leading into the gravity lift and just hung there for a bit. He almost never got the opportunity to fully enjoy the miracles of magitech. He needed to blow off some steam before talking to Dinky anyway. Up. He drifted to the ceiling and flipped himself over to stand upside down. Down aft... Fore... Up port. He flew around like a clumsy, wingless pegasus, a goofy grin bisecting his face. He use to play tag like this with his father on yachts between voyages and it was his favorite way to calm down. On one particularly daring dive Pip noticed an unusual glow emanating from a room across from the main cargo hold. Isn’t that the armory Dinky found? Well that simplifies things. He floated out of the gravity field and trotted down the hall. As Pip opened the door he was met with a magic field that looked like a pool of molten gold. Numerous tools and pieces of machinery drifted aimlessly in the liquid sunshine. It reminded Pip of dust in a sun beam. Lounging on a couch Pip had never seen before was Dinky, lying on her back holding a piece of machinery in her mouth and a screwdriver in the crook of her pastern. “Jush a shec Fif,” Dinky mumbled, putting in the last few turns, firmly binding the parts together. “Okay, what's up?” She sat up, gathering the tools and parts on the steel work table, and releasing her magic. “I was just wondering what that light was.” Pip walked in and took a seat on the couch. “Mind if I watch for a bit?” “He he, sure. I'm not very good though, so watch out,” she warned, reigniting her horn and lifting a few parts off the table. “Not very good?” Pip chuckled, scrutinizing the modest, mauve midget. “Do you even remember the fight with those dogs? I've never seen anything like that!” “Ya, I've never done anything like that.” She paused, the machinery floating in a golden haze. “There was so much magick, more than I've ever had before.” She sounded almost worried. “I even used a gravity charm, with no glyph. That's supposed to be earth pony stuff.” “So... are you worried that you might lose control or something?” Worry crept into Pip's mind. An out of control unicorn that can manipulate gravity could be incredibly dangerous. “Oh no no, nothing that bad. I'm just... a little confused. I wanna know why so much magick hit me all at once, and why I can, as a unicorn, use gravity charms. It could be the everfree or something I guess.” The assembly floated back into reach and she grabbed it out of the air and resumed her work. “I'm gonna talk to my mom about it later, see if she has any ideas.” “If you don’t mind me asking, why are you using your hooves instead of magick?” Pip asked, watching Dinky work. “Oh, its kind of embarrassing.” Dinky blushed, pausing her work again. “You see, my magick is really strong, but I don’t have much control. I could probably pick up Scootaloo's fighter if I tried really hard but I can't use a screwdriver.” “Really?” Pip cocked an eyebrow. “Isn't using firearms all about precession? I thought that was why you needed telekinesis to fire a gun?” “Well ya, that’s why I  built a new kind of trigger,” Dinky explained, lifting some unidentifiable device up off the table and displayed it for Pip. “I call it a 'charge trigger'. All I have to do is charge this with the right spell and BANG!” She threw her forelegs up, miming an explosion, and accidentally flung the screwdriver at the ceiling. “He he, oops,” she giggled. “Hey, thanks for the talk Pip. I mean, talking to my mom is fun and all, but I don’t get to talk to other ponies much. It was nice,” she finished with a smile before recovering the wayward screwdriver and returning to her work. “Well, you're welcome,” Pip replied, amused by Dinky's childish antics. “By the way, how do you deal with the recoil?” he inquired. “Or even lift it? That thing is huge.” “Magick, duh,” Dinky replied playfully. “I have a spell that turns most of the recoil’s energy into light.” She returned the screwdriver to the table and retrieved a wire brush and another part of her weapon. “I also use telekinesis, and I'm really strong. My special talent is the magic of firearms, so I guess it's just easier for me then it is for other ponies.” “That's pretty impressive,” Pip complimented. “So, what is this 'magic of firearms' you mentioned?” “Oh, well that's just what I call the way I fight,” Dinky explained. “I have that recoil spell. I have a spell that wraps the bullets in magick,” she twirled one forehoof around the other in pantomime of warping the spell around the bullets, “to make them explode when they hit or act kinda like a super heated copper jacket; that's why they glow. Um...” she paused for a moment, tapping her muzzle in thought. “Oh, I know a spell that makes it so anypony who wants to hurt me looks all shiny and sparkly to me so I don’t accidentally shoot good guys.” “That's quite the arsenal you have in that little head,” Pip commented. “He he, thanks,” Dinky giggled, resuming her work again. “Anything else you wanna talk about?” “Actually, yes, there is,” Pip replied with a more serious tone. “Oh, what's up?” Dinky stopped her work and gave Pip her full attention, just like when her mother had to give her a 'talk'. “First of all, do you plan on joining my crew?” Pip began. “Or are you just using my ship as a hotel? Either is fine but I need to know how I should approach this issue.” “Well...” Dinky began, hope building in her eyes. “Since you said it's fine just now, I'd really like to join your crew.” Her ears flopped back and she hit him with puppy dog eyes that could probably kill anypony with diabetes or a weak heart. “Pweease.” Pip averted his eyes for a moment. “Okay, being adorable at your captain in order to get your way is generally viewed as bad form.” “Okay, sorry.” She returned to her attentive posture, slightly embarrassed. “So, if you're going to join my crew there are a few things you need to know.” Pip put on his serious face as best he could after Dinky's avalanche of adorability. “First of all, this crew is like a family to me. If you're joining my crew, then you're joining my herd, and that means we look out for each other.” “Okay, that makes sense.” Dinky nodded. I knew this was a good idea, he he he. “There is also the chain of command. I'm in charge, Sweetie Belle is under me, Apple Bloom is after her and then Scootaloo.” Pip was used to giving talks like this by now, but Dinky seemed to be getting happier and more excited as he went on, rather than becoming disillusioned and disappointed like most of his previous applicants. “That means you will be at the bottom of the stack unless you prove yourself to be a better leader than the other members of the crew.” “Okay, I understand.” Dinky would finally have a big family again and her excitement was making her vibrate slightly. “Now to the matter at hoof,” Pip said, taking on a much more authoritarian tone. “Back at the wreck you made a decision that affected the crew and the ship without consulting me first. You are the only escort we have at the moment so I had no choice but to go with you. To stay would have put the crew, and the ship, at risk.” Dinky was beginning to shrink away a bit more than Pip was intending so he brought the pressure down a notch. “I'm not about to punish you for something you didn't know was wrong. However, from now on I expect you to consider the needs of the entire crew with everything you do, and to defer to me for all significant decisions, okay?” “Okay.” Dinky's ears flopped down and her eyes started to moisten ever so slightly. “I'm really sorry Pip. I didn't mean to cause any trouble.” It was finally starting to dawn on her exactly what kind of position she had put Pip in and she felt absolutely horrible about it. “I, um, I think I understand why you're so mad now.” She sniffed and wiped a tear from the corner of her eye before putting on a brave face. “Next time I'll make sure to ask you before I do anything like that.” Pip put a hoof on her shoulder. “It's okay, I'm not that mad. It actually worked out in our favor this time.” He sat back in a more casual slouch. “So tell me about this 'Everparty' you mentioned.” “Um, Mister Captain?” said a box in the corner. “GAHA!” Pip replied, recoiling from the aberration. “Ruby! Seriously, stop doing that!” “PFAAHHAHAHA!!!” Dinky contributed from her new spot on the floor, rolling around in thunderous guffaws. “Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry!” Ruby materialized and hopped down from the box in a strangely familiar fashion. “It's okay, Ruby. Dinky, shut up,” Pip said with such a deadpan it sounded almost sarcastic. “What do you want, Ruby?” “Well, um. Is it okay if I join your crew too?” Ruby inquired in partial, somehow adorable, translucency. “Did you hear the whole talk I just gave Dinky?” Pip asked in full, unadorable, opacity. “Yes,” Ruby confirmed with a nod. “Okay then, welcome aboard, both of you,” Pip said with a smile. “Oh and Ruby, please stop sneaking up on me. If you want to talk, become visible first.” “Yessir, Mister Captain Pipsqueak, sir,” Ruby said with a salute so bad Pip couldn't help but smile. “Riiight,” Pip said, his efforts to avoid excessive smiling, and possibly early onset diabetes, rapidly failing. “So, there’s a lot you girls are gonna have to learn if your want to be effective on this, or any, professional crew. Let's start with vocabulary. Call me 'captain' not 'mister captain'. Captain isn't my name.” “Oh!” Ruby interrupted. “Then why does everypony call you that?” “How old are you?” Pip asked rhetorically. This is going to take a really long time. ******* Hours later, a smooth and professional stallion’s voice rang out through the shining halls of the Seltenheit. “Attention. We will be arriving at our destination in approximately one hour and forty minutes. All relevant personnel please report to the main cargo lift. All relevant personnel please report to the main cargo lift.” Sweetie Belle hummed to herself as she walked down the hall. It had been a long time since she had been able to talk to her sister face to face, so she was in a particularly good mood. That and she was looking forward to using all the great advice her sister had given her on Pip. Rounding the corner into the main cargo bay she took a moment to marvel at the grandiosity of her sister's vessel. Large crates were stacked on metal pallets, some were suspended from cranes which were arranging them for unloading. High above, in the rafters, the Regenbogen Flitzen hung from the gantry that formed the dry dock, looking somewhat like a toy in the massive room. Sweetie walked along the wall so as not to get in the way of the cargo ponies as they worked. She stepped into the clockwork elevator set into the wall, pulled the safety fence down and pushed the slider up. As the elevator ascended Sweetie watched the ponies working below. They looked like dancers, all moving to some unheard orchestra. She subconsciously began to hum along with their rhythm. As the elevator reached the dry dock the safety fence slid up on its springs. Sweetie stepped out onto the catwalk and trotted across to the ship, opening the door by pushing a small button on the ship's distant bridge with her telekinesis. “Pip, are you aboard?” Sweetie called from the hangar's echo. A few moments passed before the response came. “Ya, I'm in the galley. Ow, Ruby, cut it out.” Pip answered over the rampant giggling in the background. “Now, what is he up to?” Sweetie wondered aloud, starting toward the gravity lift at a trot. When she reached the top of the lift she could hear more giggling. It was accompanied by, of all things, formation drill commands. “What are you ponies up to in here?” Sweetie asked as she walked into the galley. Pip was standing on the table with a saucepan on his head which obscured most of his face, shouting commands to Dinky and Ruby who were standing in the middle of the room, almost at attention and not quite side by side. The former was wielding a broom like a rifle and the latter was wearing an apron like a cape and balancing a plate on her head. “Good timing, Sweetie Belle!” Pip said entirely too loudly. “You can help me drill our new recruits!” Sweetie stifled a giggle. “Um, you might wanna rephrase that, Pip.” Pip just stared at her from the table, confused. Ruby turned to Dinky for clarification. “Did he say something bad?” she whispered. “I don't know,” Dinky replied. “Sweetie Belle, did Pip say something wrong?” “No, never mind.” Sweetie replied, embarrassed. “Pip, can I talk to you in private please.” Pip hopped down from the table and shook the pan off of his head, letting it clatter on the floor. “Is something wrong, Sweetie?” “Oh, no, I just want to talk to you about the box Ditzy found.” Sweetie replied as she walked in and took a seat on the bench. “Oh, and Dinky, I'll need to talk to your mother at some point as well.” “Okay. I'll let her know, ma'am,” Dinky said as she trotted out of the galley with Ruby, both giggling and recapping the little game they had just finished to each other. “So, about that box,” Sweetie prompted once the others had left. “Yes, I believe it contains the prototype I was talking about.” Pip began in a conspiratorial tone, walking back towards the table. “The only question now is how we go about opening it safely. I'm willing to guess it has passive feedback and, more than likely, anti-tamper words.” “I thought as much,” Sweetie agreed over folded hooves. “That's why I want to speak with Ditzy. She has a history with Canterlot's science community so I thought she might know about any missing prototypes.” “Quite,” Pip agreed. “Also, considering her apparent history with Blue Blood, she may know what sort of things he may have been aiming for. I don’t want to open that box if it's some sort of anti-everfree Genesis Device.” “I think we should save the rest of this discussion for when Ditzy arrives,” Sweetie said, shifting to a more comfortable position. “Speculation isn't going to get us anywhere until we have some idea of what the possibilities actually are.” “I agree.” Pip turned and walked over to the stove. “I'll put on some tea while we wait.” “Tea sounds nice,” Sweetie said cheerfully, a smirk beginning to pull at the corner of her mouth. “I'll have mint, Honey.” Pip stopped in his tracks, dropping the kettle on the stove with a clang. “Uh, did you mean mint with honey?” he said a bit nervously. Sweetie grinned. “Hm, that actually sounds nice. Yes, I'll have mint tea with honey... Honey.” Pip spun around to face Sweetie Belle and was met with a full on cheshire grin. “You deliberately called me Honey just now, didn't you!” Pip said, pointing an accusatory hoof at the menace. “What's wrong with that?” Sweetie countered playfully, waving a hoof at him. “You call me Sweetie all the time and I don't complain.” “But that's your name!” Pip complained, gesticulating with bolt forelegs at once. What in the hey is going on? “No excuses!” Sweetie declared, thumping the table with a hoof. “Like it or not, we are a couple now, and you're just going to have to learn to deal with that.” Pip sat down and began massaging his forehead with the frog of his hoof. “Your sister is gonna kill me.” “Oh hush now, she likes you,” Sweetie admonished, telekinetically repositioning the tea kettle and turning on the stove. “Besides, if she thought you weren’t good enough for me she’d just seduce you into working on her ship, like all the others.” She gathered the tea and teacups on a tray by the stove. “Actually, she might try that anyway, she really likes messing with colts,” she joked, gathering some tea cookies and other snacks onto the tray. “Just do the whole 'thanks but I like her more' thing and you'll be fine.” “I hope you right.” Pip stood and turned back to the counter, only to find everything already ready. “To be honest, she scares the buckjesus out of me.” “You two are so cute,” Ditzy giggled as she glided through the door and over to the bench opposite Sweetie, landing with impressive precision in a relaxed position. “So, what did you want to talk to me about?” “It's about that box you found,” Sweetie began, then paused. “Actually, Pip, you should start. You know more about it than I do.” “Before we get into that,” Pip began. “Ditzy, your daughter has expressed an interest in joining my crew. I feel that, as her mother, you would want to have some input on the subject.” “Well, I think it would be very good for her,” Ditzy said with a motherly smile, one eye trained on each of them. “Though, if you do let her join, I'll have to insist that you let me join as well.” “I understand and agree,” Pip replied, moving closer to Sweetie Belle in an attempt to make Ditzy's eyes less creepy. “Welcome aboard, Ditzy Doo. Now, do you have any special skills that you think I should be aware of? Other than your, um... eye... thing.” Ditzy smiled. “I think that's the reason I was called up here isn't it? The box I found?” “Yes,” Pip confirmed. “I believe it's a prototype from one of the earth science facilities in Canterlot. I heard a report that one disappeared around a month ago, and the time lined up quite well with Blue Blood being denied access and leaving Canterlot in a huff. I do not, however, have any information as to what it might be.” “And you were hoping I would?” Ditzy supplied. “I'm afraid I don’t. If we could open the box I could probably tell you roughly how it works, maybe even which facility it's from, but I'm not as 'in the loop' as you seem to think.” “Dang. Well, thanks for your time at least,” Pip said, trying not to sound too disappointed. “Sorry, Pip.” Ditzy refocused her eyes on him. “By the way, since we're crew now, is there a place my daughter and I can put our things?” “Right, of course,” Pip replied. “For the moment you can use Scootaloo's room, its the aft-most room on the mid deck, just behind the armory, by cargo. I'll see about getting another bunk. We have a couple of rooms we don’t use." “Actually, Pip,” Sweetie interjected, that dreaded smirk returning to her face, “I can just move into your room. They can have mine after I've finished moving my stuff; we are a couple now. Besides, they have three ponies, don’t forget about Ruby, and I have the second biggest usable room, after you, so it only makes sense.” Pip blushed so hard he became light headed. “Wah, um, I, it's... I-I mean, uh.” “Pip.” Sweetie hopped off of the bench and trotted towards the door, head and tail held high in triumph. “Unless I hear a 'no' in there, were officially engaged, as of now.” And with that she trotted down the hall and out of sight. “Pip, I know I'm not your mother,” Ditzy said softly, “but do you mind if I give you some motherly advice?” Pip fell to his haunches again, staring at the door. “Sure,” he said waveringly, “what advice would you give to somepony who has been in love with his best friend for his whole life and just realized it yesterday and is now going to be sleeping in the same bed with her for the rest of his life?” Ditzy grinned and whispered in Pip's ear. “The advice I would give to him would be, 'don't look a gift pony in the mouth'.” The kettle chose that moment to start whistling. “Roger, that. Care for some tea?”